NC needs creative Help
- Thread starter NiteCrowe
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Sean Renaud
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Well spill, you can't psuedo hire a creative team and then not keep us informed. How are we supposed to further advance things?
Sean Renaud
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I'm good at this task master stuff. I should be a producer, then I can take creative control of your dream and crush it beneath my heel because you aren't working fast enough for my tastes. 
Then I can totally twist your story until this is a comedy like Blankman and when it bombs at the box office all of your fans will call you a sell out.
Then I can totally twist your story until this is a comedy like Blankman and when it bombs at the box office all of your fans will call you a sell out.
Sean Renaud
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Darn. I was already plotting to buy your your share. Then you know you could have a wacky adventure where you try to stop this movie from being made with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.
Sean Renaud
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I was more thinking along the lines of
Crow: Han Solo
Sean: Chewie
Raven: Obi
Cats: R2D2
Cus you know since I"m not a complete chocolate packing butt pirate I wouldn't be caught dead on the Enterprise. Those geeks scare me.
Crow: Han Solo
Sean: Chewie
Raven: Obi
Cats: R2D2
Cus you know since I"m not a complete chocolate packing butt pirate I wouldn't be caught dead on the Enterprise. Those geeks scare me.
NiteCrowe
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THE KNIGHT AND THE DISCIPLE
#1
SUMMARY: Darwin Valley Museum is currently holding an exhibition on the aincient gods...And Disciple is their to steal what he believes belong to him...
PLAN: Starts off by showing the museum, which is holding an aincient gods exhibit. It shows a Guard walking up to a sceptre, and then changing into Disciple. A voice suddenly speaks to him from behind. He turns and is faced by KC, who reveals that he had though this would happen and had being carefully watching the museum. Impressed, Disciple turns into a mirror reflection of KC, and attacks him....all the while ranting about being the vessel of the gods ect ect.
Suddenly he vanishes, though his voice can still be heard, which confuses KC, who is not completely used to the suit at that point.
A Security guard then appears, but KC believes it to be Disciple, until a rat comes up behind the guard, turns into disciple and holds the man hostage. KC tries to tranquilise Disciple but misses, and thus D kills the guard, thus shocking KC.
Back at home Malc, watch's the sceptre via camera, while KC searches the building to no avail. Malc suddenly comes up with a plan, and without telling KC, asks havoc to run a simulation. (at this point Havoc is merely a computer program).
As KC still looks and Havoc Tests, KC suggests that he has a feeling about something, and gets Malc to check it out. Sure enuf, they work out that Disciple wasn't after the sceptre, he really wanted the Manacle of Medaspat, and going for the sceptre was his way of testing out the security...he had heard about the new vigilante in town. (you don't find this explanation out till the end)
Anyway, Just as disciple thinks the coast is clear he is going for the manacle, KC appears and shocks him with a stun gun....the electricity of which stops him from shapeshifting. KC then Directly injects him with a tranquiliser.
Flash to brandon Long, who is coming off shift and discovers a tied up and unconscious Disciple on the doorstep of the precinct. Also attatched is a short note, mentioning that D is a shapeshifter and that the tranqs should wear off within an hour. It is signed Knight Crowe.
#1
SUMMARY: Darwin Valley Museum is currently holding an exhibition on the aincient gods...And Disciple is their to steal what he believes belong to him...
PLAN: Starts off by showing the museum, which is holding an aincient gods exhibit. It shows a Guard walking up to a sceptre, and then changing into Disciple. A voice suddenly speaks to him from behind. He turns and is faced by KC, who reveals that he had though this would happen and had being carefully watching the museum. Impressed, Disciple turns into a mirror reflection of KC, and attacks him....all the while ranting about being the vessel of the gods ect ect.
Suddenly he vanishes, though his voice can still be heard, which confuses KC, who is not completely used to the suit at that point.
A Security guard then appears, but KC believes it to be Disciple, until a rat comes up behind the guard, turns into disciple and holds the man hostage. KC tries to tranquilise Disciple but misses, and thus D kills the guard, thus shocking KC.
Back at home Malc, watch's the sceptre via camera, while KC searches the building to no avail. Malc suddenly comes up with a plan, and without telling KC, asks havoc to run a simulation. (at this point Havoc is merely a computer program).
As KC still looks and Havoc Tests, KC suggests that he has a feeling about something, and gets Malc to check it out. Sure enuf, they work out that Disciple wasn't after the sceptre, he really wanted the Manacle of Medaspat, and going for the sceptre was his way of testing out the security...he had heard about the new vigilante in town. (you don't find this explanation out till the end)
Anyway, Just as disciple thinks the coast is clear he is going for the manacle, KC appears and shocks him with a stun gun....the electricity of which stops him from shapeshifting. KC then Directly injects him with a tranquiliser.
Flash to brandon Long, who is coming off shift and discovers a tied up and unconscious Disciple on the doorstep of the precinct. Also attatched is a short note, mentioning that D is a shapeshifter and that the tranqs should wear off within an hour. It is signed Knight Crowe.
Sean Renaud
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Okay first off we need to have Deciple as Security Guard 2 talking to Security guard 1, this serves to purposes. It shows how damn good he is, it also establishes the fact that the other person is there. You can even have some dialogue explaining that it is just the two of them. You want to minimize the amount of "magically" appearing charachters when you can.
Personally I'm not big on shape shifters who have the Beastboy ability to just completely negate their size entirely but that's a personal taste that largely is rooted in the numb of why not. . .turn yourself into a humming bird fly overhead then turn into whale? Or better yet turn yourself into something really really small crawl inside and orifice and expand, You just need to be big enough to you know explode their skull from the inside.
Unless both charachters are assumed to be established I think you need to start off a little earlier in the story maybe with some other artifacts turning up missing, surely there are banks and other things more likely to be stolen?
I like the Havoc mention, and I won't question it at until I see the finished product. It doesn't make sense but I don't know everything yet so I'm just chaulking it up to my not being fully informed. Yet.
Overall thsi sounds a bit short also but I like the general direction of it.
Personally I'm not big on shape shifters who have the Beastboy ability to just completely negate their size entirely but that's a personal taste that largely is rooted in the numb of why not. . .turn yourself into a humming bird fly overhead then turn into whale? Or better yet turn yourself into something really really small crawl inside and orifice and expand, You just need to be big enough to you know explode their skull from the inside.
Unless both charachters are assumed to be established I think you need to start off a little earlier in the story maybe with some other artifacts turning up missing, surely there are banks and other things more likely to be stolen?
I like the Havoc mention, and I won't question it at until I see the finished product. It doesn't make sense but I don't know everything yet so I'm just chaulking it up to my not being fully informed. Yet.
Overall thsi sounds a bit short also but I like the general direction of it.
Sean Renaud
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THE KNIGHT AND THE DISCIPLE
#1
SUMMARY: Darwin Valley Museum is currently holding an exhibition on the aincient gods...And Disciple is their to steal what he believes belong to him...
PLAN: Starts off with a radio report of several artifacts being stolen from exibits in cities around the world. Reveal that the audiance is a pair of securit guards in a museum, which is holding an aincient gods exhibit. It shows a two gaurds sitting behind a desk on of them drinking a cup of coffee. Brief conversation on how easy the job is and one decides to do a lap just to make sure everything is secure. The other laughs as if anything would be wrong claiming the security system handles everything. Guard D walks up to a sceptre, and then changing into Disciple.
A voice suddenly speaks to him from behind. He turns and is faced by KC, who reveals that he had though this would happen and had being carefully watching the museum. Impressed, Disciple turns into a mirror reflection of KC, and attacks him....all the while ranting about being the vessel of the gods ect ect. Instead of changing into KC I think it would be cool if he started changing into various Gods as he rants, a man in a Toga when he's speaking of the Greeks and Romans, something covered in tribal tatoos when he speaks of Aztec, Perhaps a dog, or hawk faced Egyptian diety or even the multiarmed Hindu Gods.
Suddenly he vanishes, though his voice can still be heard, which confuses KC, who is not completely used to the suit at that point. He stops fighting here not because he's loosing but because KC is an unworthy opponent (in his over inflated opinion of himself)
Security Guard B arrives at this point and sees KC in the display area and KC mistakes him for D, and gets ready to attack him when he notices a black cat trotting past the guard. (For those of you interested Bastet or Bast http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bastet_(mythology) is often shown as a cat) Knowing a cat would never be in a museum he changes his attntion. the cat turns into disciple and holds the man hostage. KC tries to tranquilise Disciple but misses, and thus D mortally wounds the guard, forcing KC to choose between immediate first aid and pursuit. (honestly I'm not entirely feeling the hostage situation but I don't have a better idea yet)
Malc comforts KC both on his defeat (presumably his first) and teh guard dying, Back at home Malc, watch's the sceptre via camera, while KC searches the building to no avail. Malc suddenly comes up with a plan, and without telling KC, asks havoc to run a simulation. (at this point Havoc is merely a computer program). KC is also frustrated because he's not sure he CAN beat somebody with the ability to shape shift.
As KC still looks and Havoc Tests, KC suggests that he has a feeling about something, and gets Malc to check it out. Sure enuf, they work out that Disciple wasn't after the sceptre, he really wanted the Manacle of Medaspat, and going for the sceptre was his way of testing out the security...he had heard about the new vigilante in town. (you don't find this explanation out till the end) What does the Manacle do? We need an explanation as to why this instead of that? Is it supposed to open something, or work on a map or something?
Havoc manages to predict what D's next target will be (perhaps the Manacle is part of a set?) and KC stakes it out, sure enough D arrives at whatever location the two of them fight. During the fight KC knocks D up against something electric a tv or something, and notices that D turns "normal" for a split second and surmises that electricity basically makes him tense up and it reverts him to his "true form"
He then starts fighting with electric devices, take your pick stun gun, stun baton, stun brass knuckles. Whatever you think is coolest. Fight ends with D seemingly falling to his death. End on Brandon Long and several other police men pouring through the supposed death site with KC watching from overhead. End with a cat crawling out of a dumpster with an expensive looking gold necklace
( We can't have Deciple captured in book one, not in a world that's gonna have continuity. His capture has to be something that is built toward and epic. I've already expressed my distaste for shape shifters without size limitations, what I did to temper that into something managable is to stick closely to his thinking he's an avatar and limiting his shape shifting to religious things. We can eventually explain why he's never become a Titan and just squished things later)
#1
SUMMARY: Darwin Valley Museum is currently holding an exhibition on the aincient gods...And Disciple is their to steal what he believes belong to him...
PLAN: Starts off with a radio report of several artifacts being stolen from exibits in cities around the world. Reveal that the audiance is a pair of securit guards in a museum, which is holding an aincient gods exhibit. It shows a two gaurds sitting behind a desk on of them drinking a cup of coffee. Brief conversation on how easy the job is and one decides to do a lap just to make sure everything is secure. The other laughs as if anything would be wrong claiming the security system handles everything. Guard D walks up to a sceptre, and then changing into Disciple.
A voice suddenly speaks to him from behind. He turns and is faced by KC, who reveals that he had though this would happen and had being carefully watching the museum. Impressed, Disciple turns into a mirror reflection of KC, and attacks him....all the while ranting about being the vessel of the gods ect ect. Instead of changing into KC I think it would be cool if he started changing into various Gods as he rants, a man in a Toga when he's speaking of the Greeks and Romans, something covered in tribal tatoos when he speaks of Aztec, Perhaps a dog, or hawk faced Egyptian diety or even the multiarmed Hindu Gods.
Suddenly he vanishes, though his voice can still be heard, which confuses KC, who is not completely used to the suit at that point. He stops fighting here not because he's loosing but because KC is an unworthy opponent (in his over inflated opinion of himself)
Security Guard B arrives at this point and sees KC in the display area and KC mistakes him for D, and gets ready to attack him when he notices a black cat trotting past the guard. (For those of you interested Bastet or Bast http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bastet_(mythology) is often shown as a cat) Knowing a cat would never be in a museum he changes his attntion. the cat turns into disciple and holds the man hostage. KC tries to tranquilise Disciple but misses, and thus D mortally wounds the guard, forcing KC to choose between immediate first aid and pursuit. (honestly I'm not entirely feeling the hostage situation but I don't have a better idea yet)
Malc comforts KC both on his defeat (presumably his first) and teh guard dying, Back at home Malc, watch's the sceptre via camera, while KC searches the building to no avail. Malc suddenly comes up with a plan, and without telling KC, asks havoc to run a simulation. (at this point Havoc is merely a computer program). KC is also frustrated because he's not sure he CAN beat somebody with the ability to shape shift.
As KC still looks and Havoc Tests, KC suggests that he has a feeling about something, and gets Malc to check it out. Sure enuf, they work out that Disciple wasn't after the sceptre, he really wanted the Manacle of Medaspat, and going for the sceptre was his way of testing out the security...he had heard about the new vigilante in town. (you don't find this explanation out till the end) What does the Manacle do? We need an explanation as to why this instead of that? Is it supposed to open something, or work on a map or something?
Havoc manages to predict what D's next target will be (perhaps the Manacle is part of a set?) and KC stakes it out, sure enough D arrives at whatever location the two of them fight. During the fight KC knocks D up against something electric a tv or something, and notices that D turns "normal" for a split second and surmises that electricity basically makes him tense up and it reverts him to his "true form"
He then starts fighting with electric devices, take your pick stun gun, stun baton, stun brass knuckles. Whatever you think is coolest. Fight ends with D seemingly falling to his death. End on Brandon Long and several other police men pouring through the supposed death site with KC watching from overhead. End with a cat crawling out of a dumpster with an expensive looking gold necklace
( We can't have Deciple captured in book one, not in a world that's gonna have continuity. His capture has to be something that is built toward and epic. I've already expressed my distaste for shape shifters without size limitations, what I did to temper that into something managable is to stick closely to his thinking he's an avatar and limiting his shape shifting to religious things. We can eventually explain why he's never become a Titan and just squished things later)
NiteCrowe
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I agree, about the shapeshfting into a cat thing.
I also like what you said about the next stake out lol.
I also had the idea about him changing into gods as he ranted but wasn't sure how to deal with it.
The manacles are part of a set that is supposed to grant the true power of a god.
All in all, I like it.
Also, Sean, would you like to be a Co-writer? Maybe write a story or two as a filler yourself? I think you have the potential, especially as you took my rough ideas and improved upon it brilliantly.
I also like what you said about the next stake out lol.
I also had the idea about him changing into gods as he ranted but wasn't sure how to deal with it.
The manacles are part of a set that is supposed to grant the true power of a god.
All in all, I like it.
Also, Sean, would you like to be a Co-writer? Maybe write a story or two as a filler yourself? I think you have the potential, especially as you took my rough ideas and improved upon it brilliantly.
Sean Renaud
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I'm not sure I want the responsibility of a full blown co-author. MAybe an over active editor though. MY idea still needs a lot of refining though.
How are we going to deal with equipment? I mean obviously we're kinda going the Batman/Ironman/Green Arrow/EVERY fucking rich or inventor hero route that once he figures out what he needs he's got a prototype back at the lair avenue for most things. But what are the gadgets he always carries? You know like batman always has grapple gunx2 (atleast) batarang, smoke bombs and gas mask. So what does NC carry on him on a regular basis?
With Diciple missing but not dead at this point we can carry on with NC doing research on D and on the manacles.
I think that for Chapter 12 we should start if off news that the Manacle has been stolen from some other city, just an early hint of what is really going on. With boy manacles we could give Diciple some kind of minor personality change or power change. I'm thinking that normally he has a difficult time remaining in any given form, which is why during their earlier battles he shifts seemingly at random (maybe even occasionally loosely a clear advantage as he shifts from the six armed Hindu God to some fat fertility god, but with the armlets it focuses him mentally. It also causes him to believe he's a god "more so than he already does" and perhaps he demands sacrifices. Everybody loves half naked babes.
How are we going to deal with equipment? I mean obviously we're kinda going the Batman/Ironman/Green Arrow/EVERY fucking rich or inventor hero route that once he figures out what he needs he's got a prototype back at the lair avenue for most things. But what are the gadgets he always carries? You know like batman always has grapple gunx2 (atleast) batarang, smoke bombs and gas mask. So what does NC carry on him on a regular basis?
With Diciple missing but not dead at this point we can carry on with NC doing research on D and on the manacles.
I think that for Chapter 12 we should start if off news that the Manacle has been stolen from some other city, just an early hint of what is really going on. With boy manacles we could give Diciple some kind of minor personality change or power change. I'm thinking that normally he has a difficult time remaining in any given form, which is why during their earlier battles he shifts seemingly at random (maybe even occasionally loosely a clear advantage as he shifts from the six armed Hindu God to some fat fertility god, but with the armlets it focuses him mentally. It also causes him to believe he's a god "more so than he already does" and perhaps he demands sacrifices. Everybody loves half naked babes.
NiteCrowe
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I agree about the chapter 12 stuff
As for your Question...
He doesn't carry much gadgetry, as his suit provides him with armour, stength and flight. Also remember that he's not rich, so most of the time he's low tech. But more or less i'd say he keeps a tranq gun with him at all times, as well as Pain killers, thin rope and tbh i'm not sure what esle...remember i'm trying to keep him different from batman lol.
As for your Question...
He doesn't carry much gadgetry, as his suit provides him with armour, stength and flight. Also remember that he's not rich, so most of the time he's low tech. But more or less i'd say he keeps a tranq gun with him at all times, as well as Pain killers, thin rope and tbh i'm not sure what esle...remember i'm trying to keep him different from batman lol.
Sean Renaud
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Dont' worry about keeping him separate from Batman, let the charachter and the writing and the villians keep him separate from Batman and the outift so on and so forth. He's got a suit that gives him stregth armor and flight. Give him lasers an we just got so far away from Bats that we're Ironman which I'm imagining isn't your goal.
I'm about to head home so I'll be off for a while I'm gonna go back and really read his powers though and see what we have to work with and what makes sense for him to carry.
I'm about to head home so I'll be off for a while I'm gonna go back and really read his powers though and see what we have to work with and what makes sense for him to carry.
Sean Renaud
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It seems we posted almost simotaneously and I didn't read your last thing. We should pause here and really define KC's powers.
Approximately how strong is he? Is he Wolverine strong which is superhuman (his skeleton weights 500 lbs, and he can move, not to mention the additional weight makes his attacks seem even harder) Is he Spiderman strong where he can lift cars but he can't really throw them cus he's not THAT strong. I'm assuming he's no where near Hulk levels.
He can fly, how well can he fly? Can he hover? go backwards?
Does the suit have any special sensors or filters? I was thinking maybe he doesn't carry a gas mask because the suit handles that on it's own or at least has the capability (or will after the first time it becomes an issue)
Maybe the suit is capable of discharging electricity, not a projectile but like stun gloves maybe
Approximately how strong is he? Is he Wolverine strong which is superhuman (his skeleton weights 500 lbs, and he can move, not to mention the additional weight makes his attacks seem even harder) Is he Spiderman strong where he can lift cars but he can't really throw them cus he's not THAT strong. I'm assuming he's no where near Hulk levels.
He can fly, how well can he fly? Can he hover? go backwards?
Does the suit have any special sensors or filters? I was thinking maybe he doesn't carry a gas mask because the suit handles that on it's own or at least has the capability (or will after the first time it becomes an issue)
Maybe the suit is capable of discharging electricity, not a projectile but like stun gloves maybe
NiteCrowe
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Strength wise....i'd say spidey strong.
Flying... At first he can only do basics...Take of, Direct himself around, Land...Eventually he will become good enuf to hover ect ect.
The suit itself has Night Vision and Infra-red. You're right about the gas, the suit filiters it out to a degree. I havent yet decided if it has an emergency power supply. It also has a comlink to Malc. (which Havoc can hack into mwahahaha).
As for the Electricity....I'm thinking that shock gauntlets could be something that Malc adds in the first story.
Flying... At first he can only do basics...Take of, Direct himself around, Land...Eventually he will become good enuf to hover ect ect.
The suit itself has Night Vision and Infra-red. You're right about the gas, the suit filiters it out to a degree. I havent yet decided if it has an emergency power supply. It also has a comlink to Malc. (which Havoc can hack into mwahahaha).
As for the Electricity....I'm thinking that shock gauntlets could be something that Malc adds in the first story.
NiteCrowe
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I was also toying with the Idea of him having a sword like weapon, except that it doesn't chop or slash, (though it could possibly be able to), but instead emits an energy blade than Numbs whatever it touches....he could run it through an arm thus numnbing it, and thus making it as useless as if he HAD chopped it off.
But like i say, that was merely an original rough idea that i wans't 100% about..
But like i say, that was merely an original rough idea that i wans't 100% about..
Sean Renaud
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Power supply is actually important. How long can he stay active, where is the battery (that could be an early flaw is that the power source is fragile (by super hero standards) or that it's easily identifiable and thus targeted.
Also what happens when the suit runs out of juice? Is it like Batman Beyond where a powered down suit is basically useless but it doesn't actually screw you, is it like the suits in Gargoyles where it's useless but you can get it off and and well the chestplate is still nice? Or is it like Ironman where if that suit powers down on him he's pretty much boned cus he's no where near physically strong enough to move the suit.
Also what happens when the suit runs out of juice? Is it like Batman Beyond where a powered down suit is basically useless but it doesn't actually screw you, is it like the suits in Gargoyles where it's useless but you can get it off and and well the chestplate is still nice? Or is it like Ironman where if that suit powers down on him he's pretty much boned cus he's no where near physically strong enough to move the suit.
Sean Renaud
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You could always give him a stun baton, or hell just a baton, kinda like what daredevil uses just without the extension cord
NiteCrowe
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I actually meant air supply, but i also understand you point...I'd say the battery can last for 12 hours. and i like the idea of it orginally being fragile.
I'd say its kind of like batman beyond....when powered down, all that does its stop the flight and strength....it still provides basic armour and is quite movable....i'm thinking that you eventually find out that his uncle was making the suit for an old superhero called the human star, as a form of containment ect ect. (this could be something you find out in a later volume...before hand they could both just think he was making them for the army???)
I'd say its kind of like batman beyond....when powered down, all that does its stop the flight and strength....it still provides basic armour and is quite movable....i'm thinking that you eventually find out that his uncle was making the suit for an old superhero called the human star, as a form of containment ect ect. (this could be something you find out in a later volume...before hand they could both just think he was making them for the army???)
Sean Renaud
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I don't think it needs an early explanation to be honest, I think Humanstar should be explained at least partially early on. Since the suit was originally meant to be containment for what I assume is a heat or plasma based hero I assume then that it is highly resilent to heat. File that under I'm not sure what it means yet but I know it means. It's more spaghetti on the wall so to speak.
