posterOfAgirl
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2006
- Posts
- 20,341
yes!May I join in to be productively lazy?
MERRY CHRISTMAS
merry christmas!
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yes!May I join in to be productively lazy?
MERRY CHRISTMAS
yes!
merry christmas!
Plops down on a couch and continues with the lazyness
Yay for laziness, especially during the holidays!
I hear you there





Merry Late Christmas Noodle Brains![]()
HEY!!hehe I'm not a noodle brain...But I brought you something
AHnds her a box of cheesnips with a bow on top
hope you still like these



Belated seasonal greetings *cough *coughMerry Late Christmas Noodle Brains![]()

Belated seasonal greetings *cough *cough
Was out sick, still am really, but tis the season to suck it up and play nice
maybe a little bit later *cough
PS Reihasama, love the the new Avy

A certain Cheesenip lover asked me to come back and hang out with you guys every once in a while, and she's too cute to turn down, so here I am. I'm not even going to bother catching up, I'll just start paying attention from now on.
Your Devil's Advocate is back. Missed you guys.
*ears perk up*
O_O!
*tackle huggums* Thank-you Pappy!!!!
I LOVE cheesenips- always and forever!!!
I got you a present too:
http://media1.break.com/dnet/media/2007/12/22dec18-computer-coffeemaker.jpg
hope you like it ^^
We missed you too =^.^= *tackle huggums*
so whatcha get for Christmas, hmmm? hmmmmm?????!!!!

So...School starts today for me.
YAY!!! 23 credits of crazy
Oh well.
I probably will not be here everyday
I will be on as often as I possibly can
![]()
Same, but 23 credit hours?????
Dang
*hands you a red mushroom, and a few green ones since you might need some extra lives*
IckI can definately use those at the moment
I just got done with my first day \
I'm so in trouble this quarter
I had Pathology, A&P, and Biochem today
I'm really brain dead and it's only monday

T-shirt and a piccy. That was enough for me. I like to ignore the holidays.
OH-OH-OH!!! I also got a phone call from two of the coolest peoples in Canada!!!
I love my friends.
So, tonight (or last night, I guess) Reiha, chronie, greenmachine and I went to see Uwe Boll's latest epic tragedy of Video Game Maiming, "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale."
I know the movie wasn't meant to be a comedy, but never the less, I was laughing quite frequently throughout. There are rediculous moments so melodramatic they ooze saline; the characters are either incredibly understated and underdeveloped or outrageously one-dimensional, and there is no way you could possibly make the characters perform more woodenly.
Even with talents the likes of John Rhys-Davies, Ron Perlman, and Burt Reynolds could not overcome Uwe Boll's talents as a hair, a smidgin above Ed Wood himself.
The editing was some of the worst I've ever seen, as well; some of the cuts (say, from a particular cave-entering scene to a battle-scene) are so jarringly done that it downright confuses people: dramatically going into a cave with a swell of music, then cut to the black general (cutting the music, as well, down to nothing) then swell the music again shortly after, but a different tune.
Some of the parts are played as well as they could have been given the subject material and Uwe Boll's legendary directing skills; of particular note, I think, is Burt Reynolds and John Rhys-Davies; they give the best performances they can.
So, the basic story goes: a farmer (by the name of... Farmer? WTF?) is farming (surprise, surprise) when Ron Perlman, in all his gritty glory, stumbles in with a pig while Farmer (Ugh...) is digging up turnips with his son. So Farmer agrees to trade the pig for some crops so 'ol Hellboy can last through the winter, as apparently, they have before. So after this there's some random trade mission where he sends his wife and son off to be bartered as slaves or something, when Orc Academy rejects called Krugs invade Farmer's fields, apparently looking to dig up turnips and/or get their asses kicked by a farmer who is apparently also a boomerang/machete wielding martial arts expert.
Yes, that's right. A boomerang. A kot-tam wooden boomerang, that apparently has the power to knock Krugs off their feet and return to someone's hand.
So, after fighting off these stunted orc-lets, Farmer rushes down to Hellboy's farm, where 'ol Ronnie's got himself a hoe that he's swinging around, killing these Krugs left and right; the reject from Jean-Claude Van Damme's School of Kickassery joins in the fight, helping the old guy take out the creatures with ease.
His wife gets taken as a slave, his son gets murdered, and this spins him into a fiery rage, which he vents upon everything that gets into his way, in cliched tough-guy form; he doesn't talk more than he needs to, and says everything in one or two words; Keanu Reeves has character, personality, and acting skill compared to Jason Statham's work in this movie as Farmer.
After that, it seems like every comedic/dramatic/crazy fantasy movie ever made gets some form of cameo or had obviously inspired the director's fantasy, and he attempts to wield these various elements into something more than cliche but less than a tribute.
It was so shockingly, stunningly terrible that it was almost a self-parody of the fact that Uwe Boll cannot make movies.