Nerd Power!

[Texguy84]

What did you tell her?

I didn't even realize there was a problem until she IM'd me just now. Basically, she wanted to "get a few things straight" and wanted to know what my intentions were with her.

As you might expect, I've got about as much experience dealing with girls in this kind of mood as I have with defusing live grenades. I told her that I wanted to be friends, because we shared many common interests, and I wouldn't mind being friends with benefits if she was alright with that (note to self: Girls evidently never want that). I didn't mention the whole carrying-a-torch-for-Army-girl thing, as I figured it wouldn't help the situation any.

All in all, this isn't gonna leave a huge impact in my life. I had few friends before (none non-military around here) and that continues now. Of more concern to me is my decreasing number of friends here on the base due to people being re-assigned, discharged, or whatever have you.

 

[rhyst_hatchyk]

I didn't even realize there was a problem until she IM'd me just now. Basically, she wanted to "get a few things straight" and wanted to know what my intentions were with her.

As you might expect, I've got about as much experience dealing with girls in this kind of mood as I have with defusing live grenades. I told her that I wanted to be friends, because we shared many common interests, and I wouldn't mind being friends with benefits if she was alright with that (note to self: Girls evidently never want that). I didn't mention the whole carrying-a-torch-for-Army-girl thing, as I figured it wouldn't help the situation any.

All in all, this isn't gonna leave a huge impact in my life. I had few friends before (none non-military around here) and that continues now. Of more concern to me is my decreasing number of friends here on the base due to people being re-assigned, discharged, or whatever have you.

If I may say this; don't ever say anything about "friends with benefits." This sort of spreads the idea that sex is all you're after. For next time, probably the best thing to do is be honest.

What are you after? What do you want from her? Do you want to date, do you just want sex, do you want to just be friends? Once you determing what you really want at that moment, then you need to be clear about it. Tell her that you have feelings for her and you want to date her, if that's how you feel.

In situations like this, complete honesty about how you feel is probably one of the best options, especially if she's asking. If she's asking you, it likely means she wants to know where you stand, so she can make a decision on what to do with you. If you're completely honest with her, and she wants to cut it off, then it's probably for the best. At least you tried.

If you weren't honest about your intentions, and she cuts it off because of that, then you should kick yourself in the ass, then go apologize and straighten things out.

Hey, I may not be popular with the ladies myself, but my advice has (almost) never been the wrong advice.

 

[sexartist]

If I may say this; don't ever say anything about "friends with benefits." This sort of spreads the idea that sex is all you're after. For next time, probably the best thing to do is be honest.
[snipped for brevity]

I agree wholeheartedly. Honestly is always the best policy, especially when attempting to express your intentions to a woman. They are mostly paranoid that all we want is to get them into bed (and sometimes, they are right). And saying "friends with benefits" to a woman you are not absolutely certain will be cool with that, is a death knell.
Sorry things didn't work out so hot. Just be staright up with the woman. It's so much easier.

 

[posterOfAgirl]

If I may say this; don't ever say anything about "friends with benefits." This sort of spreads the idea that sex is all you're after. For next time, probably the best thing to do is be honest..

I'm a fan of friends with benefits
but if some guy randomly propositioned me for it i'd be freaked out


anyway be truthful always(!) and she may or may not go for it but be honest in your conversations

 

[posterOfAgirl]

I agree wholeheartedly. Honestly is always the best policy, especially when attempting to express your intentions to a woman. They are mostly paranoid that all we want is to get them into bed (and sometimes, they are right). And saying "friends with benefits" to a woman you are not absolutely certain will be cool with that, is a death knell.
Sorry things didn't work out so hot. Just be staright up with the woman. It's so much easier.

o yeah
what she said

 

[sexartist]

o yeah
what she said

Heh. I'm a 'he' but thank you.
And I love the new av.

 

[rhyst_hatchyk]

I agree wholeheartedly. Honestly is always the best policy, especially when attempting to express your intentions to a woman. They are mostly paranoid that all we want is to get them into bed (and sometimes, they are right). And saying "friends with benefits" to a woman you are not absolutely certain will be cool with that, is a death knell.
Sorry things didn't work out so hot. Just be staright up with the woman. It's so much easier.

I'm just glad I finally took my own advice, heh.

Love the new av as well, POAG.

And Tex... if you want to give up, go ahead. But if you want to at least try, GO APOLOGIZE. Say what you really want, instwad of what you thought she might like to hear. You may sway her, you may not. But go do it anyways so that at least you didn't leave it off on a bad note, and you did everything you could.

Your friends here are with you.

 

[posterOfAgirl]

Heh. I'm a 'he' but thank you.
And I love the new av.

sorry the ed got me confused
thanks

I'm just glad I finally took my own advice, heh.

Love the new av as well, POAG.

And Tex... if you want to give up, go ahead. But if you want to at least try, GO APOLOGIZE. Say what you really want, instwad of what you thought she might like to hear. You may sway her, you may not. But go do it anyways so that at least you didn't leave it off on a bad note, and you did everything you could.

Your friends here are with you.

i agree if you really do feel for her at least tell her your sorry for misleading her and you really are interested in a romantic relationship but were to shy to say

 

[sexartist]

sorry the ed got me confused
thanks

No sweat. Happens all the time.

 

[rhyst_hatchyk]

The red hair, the pale skin, the bare shoulders... gets me every time, lol. I kinda wish, deep down, my new girl had red hair, but that's because I have this love of red hair. She's great just the way she is, though

 

[sexartist]

The red hair, the pale skin, the bare shoulders... gets me every time, lol. I kinda wish, deep down, my new girl had red hair, but that's because I have this love of red hair. She's great just the way she is, though

Heh. Always had a soft spot in my head for red-heads, as well. Not to mention pale skin. Delightful.

 

[posterOfAgirl]

The red hair, the pale skin, the bare shoulders... gets me every time, lol. I kinda wish, deep down, my new girl had red hair, but that's because I have this love of red hair. She's great just the way she is, though

i too have a thing for red hair and pale skin

i totally lust after the cute red head girlies

 

[Texguy84]

Joining in on the PoaG AV love before running off to PT.

Will reply with more on my various woman woes when I return.

 

[microbiology311]

hey everyone.. just thought I would drop in and let everyone know i'm single again which means I will probably be on a little more since i'll have more free time.

 

[Texguy84]

hey everyone.. just thought I would drop in and let everyone know i'm single again which means I will probably be on a little more since i'll have more free time.

By odd coincidence, so am I!

 

[Texguy84]

OK, so an update, for reference, the girls are labeled Army, Navy, and Civilian (that's right, I'm frustrated over three seperate girls. Take THAT, Rhyst.

Navy: Got sent home yesterday. She's been so freaking sad that I've been spending hours every day hanging out with her to keep her cheered up. She jokes about death and suicide, and I ain't laughing at the jokes. Last time I saw her, she more or less threw herself into a hug with me. She sent me a text message today letting me know she got home alright, but now I'm worried sick about the girl. She's smart, but she's also very sad right now, and there's nothing I can do about it right now.

Army: Yeah, I've sung praises of this girl. She gets almost all of my jokes, she's feisty, belly dances, and cusses with a drawl (gawd I love Texan women), but she has the shitty timing to get a boyfriend right when I had worked up the nerve to ask her out. Now when I see her, most of the time she's just about to meet up with her guy. I'd play the waiting game, but I just found out she's getting transfered soon. I don't even want to hang out with her when she's with her boyfriend, because who wants to be in the room with that?

To make it better, I find out they might be going to a social thing off post I'm going to. Fucking wonderful, I get to deal with this off-post too, and I'm coming dangerously close to being spiteful towards the girl, something I don't like the thought of.

Civilian: We get along great, or so I thought. Lots of common interests, chatting back and forth over AIM (we met on OKCupid), and after one night of making out, she says I'm obsessed with the military, that I don't appreciate her as a person, and that she has too many friends and is too busy for one more. I don't even know how to respond to that. She has too fucking many friends? Every week I have fewer and fewer around here due to the military shuffling them off to other places. Very irritating seeing as how it has to do with a person who has for the most part had a very negligible part in my life.

And now I'm waiting for pizza to get here. I'm craving something fattening and unhealthy.

 

[sexartist]

Wow!
You have the hat-trick of female woes!
How exciting for you!
Yeesh!

 

[rhyst_hatchyk]

Fellow Nerds and Nerdettes...

I have come to report something terrible has occurred.

Gary Gygax, creator of Dungeons and Dragons, passed away this morning at the age of 69.

http://www.theage.com.au/news/techn...-cocreator-dead/2008/03/05/1204402530445.html

 

[pokerface01]

Yeah, I saw that on CNN! His modules were retarded, but credit to the guy for starting something I enjoy so much!

Micro! Sorry to hear about your recent status change! Unless it was a good thing.

 

[sexartist]

Fellow Nerds and Nerdettes...

I have come to report something terrible has occurred.

Gary Gygax, creator of Dungeons and Dragons, passed away this morning at the age of 69.

http://www.theage.com.au/news/techn...-cocreator-dead/2008/03/05/1204402530445.html

I heard this not too long ago, myself.
Tis a shame. I once had the honor of playing in a game he ran at a con, many years ago.

Axe High, friend.

 

[Wyldfire]

OK, so an update, for reference, the girls are labeled Army, Navy, and Civilian (that's right, I'm frustrated over three seperate girls. Take THAT, Rhyst.

Navy: Got sent home yesterday. She's been so freaking sad that I've been spending hours every day hanging out with her to keep her cheered up. She jokes about death and suicide, and I ain't laughing at the jokes. Last time I saw her, she more or less threw herself into a hug with me. She sent me a text message today letting me know she got home alright, but now I'm worried sick about the girl. She's smart, but she's also very sad right now, and there's nothing I can do about it right now.

Army: Yeah, I've sung praises of this girl. She gets almost all of my jokes, she's feisty, belly dances, and cusses with a drawl (gawd I love Texan women), but she has the shitty timing to get a boyfriend right when I had worked up the nerve to ask her out. Now when I see her, most of the time she's just about to meet up with her guy. I'd play the waiting game, but I just found out she's getting transfered soon. I don't even want to hang out with her when she's with her boyfriend, because who wants to be in the room with that?

To make it better, I find out they might be going to a social thing off post I'm going to. Fucking wonderful, I get to deal with this off-post too, and I'm coming dangerously close to being spiteful towards the girl, something I don't like the thought of.

Civilian: We get along great, or so I thought. Lots of common interests, chatting back and forth over AIM (we met on OKCupid), and after one night of making out, she says I'm obsessed with the military, that I don't appreciate her as a person, and that she has too many friends and is too busy for one more. I don't even know how to respond to that. She has too fucking many friends? Every week I have fewer and fewer around here due to the military shuffling them off to other places. Very irritating seeing as how it has to do with a person who has for the most part had a very negligible part in my life.

And now I'm waiting for pizza to get here. I'm craving something fattening and unhealthy.

I know a place where you could meet some women. Have you ever had an interest in Medieval history?

 

[rhyst_hatchyk]

Well, Tex, you have quite a conundrum, there, my friend.

As for any advice I can give you, or that we can give you, here goes. If you wish, that is.

Navy: You cheer her up. THIS IS A GOOD THING. Keep an open line of communication with her. Let her know that you're there, and send a text or two a day, just to let her know you're there. Someone like that needs a friend, needs support, and if she's come to rely on you for it, then you shouldn't give up on her. Keep in touch with her is my recommendation. For her, though, you might want to be completely clear about where each of you stand, so you don't hurt each other and cause serious damage.

Army: I've said it before, I'll say it again. Apologize, and tell her how you feel. Make it absolutely crystal clear about what you want, what kind of relationship you want to have, and ask her what she wants, what she feels. If you've done this, great. If you haven't, GO DO IT. I can't stress it enough. Underlined? Italicized, maybe? Make sure there's no ambiguity, or you'll be kicking yourself all the way to the moon.

Civilian: My advice for her is the same. Make sure there's no ambiguity in your feelings, or hers. Ask her why she feels like she does, what's making her say what she is, and you might get down to the bottom of it, maybe you can do something to resolve it.

And in this situation, the MOST IMPORTANT thing out of all these, is know where YOU stand. Know how YOU feel about them, and prioritize. Who are you going to spend the most effort on? Who do you think is worth it the most?

 

[rhyst_hatchyk]

I know a place where you could meet some women. Have you ever had an interest in Medieval history?

And if you're fed up with it all, you can go Wyld's route; just drop them all and find another gal.

 

[Wyldfire]

And if you're fed up with it all, you can go Wyld's route; just drop them all and find another gal.

My route's the healthiest of them for you Tex. Oh, did I mention the people I am proposing let you hit them with sticks if you give them the chance to do the same?

 

[sexartist]

My route's the healthiest of them for you Tex. Oh, did I mention the people I am proposing let you hit them with sticks if you give them the chance to do the same?

Never pass up a situation which provides the potential for combining violence and sex. Ever.
So says me, at least.