New Poetry Recommendations

[WickedEve]

i think penis fits well. i like how it picks up the sound of 'parted'.

also great alliteration in 'salt' and 'seabeds' and other 's' sounds sneaking through.

i'd think about the last line though... the word 'giving' seems a little in-my-face (personal feeling) maybe -
God's reply was to give me thunder.
God gave me thunder in reply.
God's thunder was my reply.

I read the poem this morning but didn't reply. The last line kind of bugged me.

God replied.
He gave me thunder.

 

[WickedEve]

Don't be a dumbass. Go read A Morning Outing on May 1

yes, this is my idea of a poetry review.

 

[skittles_lm]

Don't be a dumbass. Go read A Morning Outing on May 1

yes, this is my idea of a poetry review.

She's right. Go. Now. Read.

Wow.

 

[unapologetic]

First, let me say that MICROSOFT SUCKS! I had written my entire review on MS Word first, so that I could check for spelling errors and such before posting. Just as I was finishing up, I noticed that some illustrated poetry had been posted and, as I began to add a p.s. to my finely crafted review, my computer ate my document. ARGH!

Okay, enough of that. Let me see if I can pull out of my swiss-cheese brain anything resembling my original review.

These are not in any particular order, by the way, as I didn’t have a favorite poem today – but in a good way.

Okay, let me save my document in case MS Word gets hungry again.


I’m back, did you miss me?


Anyway, about illustrated poetry, I don’t think I get it. I did really like the poem in Jamison’s piece Like Fish, and the picture was pretty cool, but I think the poem would have stood on its own just fine.

As for the rest of the new poetry today, here we go:

Fragments by RisiaSkye gets a wow. Admittedly, the fourth stanza needs a little smoothing, but it really doesn’t detract much from the rest of the piece for me. I loved the rhythm and the fact that the rhyme feels like it just happened that way. This one demands to be read aloud.

yygirl posted three poems today that are all great, but I want to make sure to mention What Bird specifically because I love the allusion to Hester Prynne.

destination unknown by hmmnmm didn’t suck. With great lines and strong images, I’d say it is quite the opposite of a poem that sucks.

Finally, A Morning Outing on May 1 posted by Angeline but also written by eagleyez is a piece very reminiscent of beat poets I’ve read and loved. My only critique, and it’s an uber-minor one, is that I’d leave the first two lines of the last stanza out. I think the love is well conveyed without stating it, and it detracts a little from the overall piece. Otherwise, another wow poem. (As was attested to by the two astute ladies below.)

Well, it seems that the first edition of my review was enough to satisfy MS Word’s appetite. It’s for the best, though, ‘cause I think I like this second one better anyway. Speaking of appetite, though, I’ve got to go. I'm kind of hungry and these corn chips sitting next to me aren’t going to eat themselves, you know.

Later ‘gators.

 

[Tzara]

Friday, 2007.05.04

Good mornin', people. Ms. Duckie is AWOL for yet one more week and I am her sub.

Oh, wait. That might give the wrong impression, 'specially around this place. Clarification: I am her temporary replacement.

Whew. I would have had a difficult time living that down. So anyways, there be seventeen new poems today and they comprise quite a odd mix of offerings. Let's poke and prod amongst these versistical offerings and see what we might find, eh?

• First up is one of our newer poets, hmmnmm (Hey, what's with that 'n' anyway? Trying to trip us up spellingly?) who in satan runs greyhound takes us on a bummer bus trip from north to south through the dark night of the soul, AKA the American Heartland. I get a little lost as to WTF is going on in the middle of the poem, but I always am kinda dense. There's an interesting stylistic shift between the first and last S's, which are conventionally punctuated, and the middle, where punctuation and caps are largely missing. I assume that is to convey the dreamlike impression of the journey, but it seems a little too facile to me.
  
  Worthy effort, anyway. Give it a read and let the man know what you think.

• Honestly, Jamison. How the hell am I supposed to review/critique a poem with the (admittedly memorable) title of "Butt Toy in the Key of O"?! I mean, I'd look really silly talking about the poem's use of metaphor or synecdoche, now wouldn't I? And God forbid if I tried to say anything about your use of assonance.
  
  But I don't want to be too anal about the review, so let me just say that the poem's pretty funny. And I am never lookin' at my iPod quite the same way again.

• New poet danith has her first two litpoems up: Half the Girl I Used to Be and Half the Girl I Used to Be: Part II. While I think both need tons of work, there's certainly a lot of source material (mostly a kind of choked-down rage) that for me make these poems more interesting than the usual emotional core dump one finds at L. I really like the line "Momma loves her little half self girl" in the first one. (Suggestion: make it "half-self".)
  
  Let's hope Ms. d can shape her emotion with less statement and more images. My advice would be go read Ariel carefully and take another whack at these.

• Finally, I want to single out a particular line in another poem. I'm pretty sure this is an error, but every once in a while I run across a line in an otherwise mundane poem that is somehow just outstanding. I swipe these and file them away in my poetry toolkit for possible future use. Anyway, I just loved this:
  Eyes are lipid pools of burning desire.​
  Perfect.

Well, folks, duckiesmut should be back next week, so I'll go crawl off into my Closet of Writer's Block and go back to sleep. In the meantime, go read, vote, comment on anything that strikes your fancy and y'all have a great weekend.

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[vampiredust]

The Sunday Review 6/5/07

20 new poems up today:

My pick:

Heartbreak and Betrayal in One Act by darkerdreamer

Excerpt:

She spoke to me in soliloquy,
casually unfolding her soul
as if it were the evening paper.

I enjoyed reading this poem. The story has been kept simple and is well told. Like the imagery, with images like 'cat burglar’s heels' and the simile of casually unfolding her soul/as if it were the evening paper staying with me for a while after I had finished reading.

The bittersweet ending was an effective end to the piece. Good work as always

 

[annaswirls]

Monday's New Poems

Winner: favorite title of the day:
I carry my dog up the stairs
by AnonAndAnon©
Well worth the read as well!


Sunday Mornings Were Ours Then
by endthedream©

This poem is filled filled filled with longing and loss and intimate moments that we are invited to witness. It could be trimmed, if the poet wished to make it a more conventional poem, cut the self-talk or the addressing the reader directly near the end , but I am not sure I would recommend such a thing. What do you think?

Thank you for reading this
Attempt at a poem.

I did feel upon reading the poem that it was going on too long, but perhaps that is what it needs to do. This writer has a voice, a unique way of putting a phrase together, an innocence. Surely there is room for improvement, when isn't there? The caps on every line are a matter of taste, and they always confuse the hell out of me.

I enjoyed and felt moved by this poem, my pick of the day.

Read this section and I dare you not to love it:

And we on his bed
Spread more and more.
To teach me of how to
Brocade Sundays.
Of the stitches where
They Go.
No need to tell me why.
Just Joel fabric of the day.

Please if you can and are so moved, leave a comment on this one.

And so ends my review! There were poems about fairy queens and growing old, and of Master and shafts and dripping pussies as well, and hi ho I have nothing against that, just go on and read em if you like em

Thanks for reading this review, brief though it may be, I enjoyed.

~AS

 

[annaswirls]

Illustrated poetry is a lot more difficult than it might appear. Take a look at these two, if you have not already done so, see how the text and the image compliment each other? How the image does not render the text illegible? How the poem could stand on it's own, it is not just decoration for the image? Yes, these are two of my favorite litsters but that is not why I am recommending that you check these out.... some people do not like illustrated poetry, if you are one of them, go read these anyway, because they poems stand alone.

I love the first line in Jamison's, and Angeline's repetition is perfect here.

Cheers you two! I feel fortunate to have seen your progression in illustration!



Between the Bars -
Submitted by Jamison (Illustrated Poetry) 05/03/07


Open Tuning -
Submitted by Angeline (Illustrated Poetry) 05/03/07

 

[Angeline]

May 8, 2007

Today is May 8th and you know what that means. Well, it does mean it’s my day to review and of the 20 poems submitted today there are a few real winners, but more importantly, it’s eagleyez’ birthday. Yeah I know I said in the thread title it’s May 10th, but I got confused because May 10th is my mother’s birthday (and woe betide me if I don’t get her a birthday present and a Mother’s Day present) and it was late and I was tired. Is this all too much information? Of course it is! Let’s get on with the poetry.

tungtied2u is my dear friend. We talk a lot, discuss poetry, our jobs, our woes but he’s my friend yknow, I don’t really think of him “that” way. Until I read Boilerman, which he originally posted in the “Not Sure How Many Words” thread a few days ago. Good gosh Amighty, this is one steamy poem! The extended metaphor doesn’t miss a beat, and I defy you to read this poem without feeling like you need a cold shower afterward. If you only read one poem today, make it this one. It should have gotten an E (or maybe an S for Sexy). Well done, T!

SoftlyWhisper is a new poet to Literotica who has submitted 19 poems over the past few days. She has four new poems today and, if you have the time, I’d recommend you read them all. Three of the poems are written in a standard ABAB rhyme scheme and, yes, they are singsongy, a quality that often seriously weakens a poem, but this writer is nimble and articulate; she makes it work. A Life is four stanzas of phrases, two per line, that communicates a great deal in spite of its brevity. Handle With Care is short and simply (but well) stated, and Dreams, the only free verse entry in the group, has some lovely images of fanciful childhood memories. But the real winner in the group is And the Rain Played It’s [sic] Own Melody, which is a narrative, tall tale-ish piece about a competition between the wind and the rain. I can see this poem in a children’s anthology, it reminds me of something Shel Silverstein would write. Please read this one--it’s really delightful.

What a happy cirumstance: Tristesse2 has three news poems today and they’re all so good it’s hard to decide which I like best. Useless is a heartbreakingly accurate depiction of the indignities a person faces when hospitalized and marginalized. PoeTess writes this one with great insight and sensitivity. Spring Fever is a very clever litany of all the things you should avoid in lieu of just enjoying spring, and Allegience is a very cleverly (and sensitively) constructed poem on war, albeit not the kind of war you might think uless you read carefully.

I’m not spinning the spinner today. In honor of his birthday, I’m heading straight for the poems of my beloved eagleyez. Here’s one of my favorites of his:



zeal for
by eagleyez©


a trifling moment,
hallucinatory
in palesky clarity-
a sensory vagueness
this pouring of pine needles.

zeal for word.
zeal for the standing still
humming bird.
zeal for wind
that shakes my limbs
and deadwoods automatic.

incandescence-
neon mid day-
zeal for that
where nothing is pale,

and no choice anymore
but to fill detail.

zeal for all audience
and your irridescent
collective machine.

zeal for your heart's company-
and the circle that is constantly perfect.


If you have other poems you’d like to recommend, have at ‘em. Otherwise enjoy this lovely May day.

Peace,
Angeline

 

[LeBroz]

Wednesday's Review

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Running late today — it broke 80° today so I can be forgiven — so here's what caught my eye in today's posting of 18 poems.


SoftlyWhisper, one of Lit's newer contributors, has four pieces up today, all of which managed to catch my eye for different reasons.

ABC's of Love is an abecedarian form that's rather well done. My concern is a matter of style; the way the letters of the alphabet are lined up along the poem's left margin. These could have been left off resulting in a more subtle appearance.​

If I Wrote You A Love Poem is a sweetly sentimental rhyming poem that doesn't seem to be forced; it strikes me that this writer is rather literate.​

Candle Pink is filled with sweetness that doesn't overwhelm — and for those who shudder at rhyming poems, this one doesn't rhyme. Check it out.​

Goodbye Yesterday IMHO is her best of the day, as the vision she shares is for the future and not the past:

Goodbye to you yesterday, for today I am leaving you behind
Miss me not but rather keep the flame burning as a reminder
Of simpler times when happy roamed the land and smiles ruled​

RhymeFairy has three poems posted today, of which If I gave you a taste is her best showing. This is another of RF's poems that break away from her previous style; this one turns out to be not what the title might lead you to expect, as she ends:

You
will replace the pieces, fix my puzzle
and apply even strokes of honey
to glue me back together
again.​

EriAliSaa offers up a nicely done, brief acrostic in The Orbs of Virility. It's a quick easy read — give it a shot.


Tristesse2 gives us some vivid imagery in High Pines. This brings to mind Syndra Lynn's illustrated poem, I Remain, though today's offering is a much more compact piece.


There might be others out there that appeal to your unique tastes. Give 'em a try and remember to read, vote, comment ~ it's the least you can do. Above all, comment ~ a fair exchange for the pleasure of reading free poetry.

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[unapologetic]

Maybe it’s just my mood (kind of tired, definitely stressed), but everything I read today seemed full of cliché or shmaltz or forced rhyme (and some had more than one of these qualities). To be honest, a couple of them could be decent with work, but there’s nothing I’d give above a 3.

If there’s something you think I missed, please post it here. I’ve been wrong before. Besides, so much of poetry is personal taste anyway.

Later...

 

[Tzara]

Friday, 2007-05-11

I thought our Ms. duckiesmut was supposed to be back today, but I may very well be wrong about that. My hippocampus would probably in cross-section resemble a fine, hole-filled Jarlsberg and that ain't helping anything. No matter, though. Apparently she's still away.

So here's my quickie take on the new poems this Friday:

• It is always a great day when a new poet of talent shows up and, for my money, unpredictablebijou is a poet of significant talent. She's posted six poems today, all of which are interesting, though some seem to me to work better than others. Check out her poem The First Place, for example:
  A first kiss
  she says, winding a finger
  deep into your palm, curled there warm
  as a baby snake,
  can be like that.​
  Good stuff. I also really liked Sanskrit Erotica and the very interesting Calculations as well. Ah, hell. Read all her poems and tell her what you think. She's good.

• The only other poem I want to single out is The Love Unbound by first-time poet SallyFreeandEasy, a rhymed and metrical poem about bisexuality that works pretty well. It's a little shaky sometimes about the meter, but way better than most attempts at this kind of poem. Check it out.

Anyways, I fervently hope Our Sweet Duckieness returns next week, 'cuz I am not the reviewer that either y'all nor I want to have doin' this.

So. Go read today's stuff yerselfs and offer some opinion. Actually pretty good poems today, I thought. Other stuff may strike you as brilliant where it only impressed me as pretty good. Give it a try, people.

Whatever. I gotta go post to my blog.

 

[vampiredust]

13/5/07

The Sunday Review

Happy Mother's Day to all our American Litizens

10 new poems

SoftlyWhisper has 8 poems up today

Bojangles caught my eye with its lyrical feel

excerpt:

Upon the porch he played for me
He played and sang and danced for me
Bojangles

I liked the simplicity of the piece and its structure created a lyrical, songlike rhythm when read out loud. Good, honest poetry.

 

[champagne1982]

There are 20 new poems, now. I'm gonna go read. Maybe everyone should.

I really think that SoftlyWhisper's Miracles (Senryu) fits the tone of the day beautifully.

 

[wildsweetone]

Poem to sip:

This Is Just To Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold.

-- William Carlos Williams​

you'll see why i chose this poem when you read on.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------


this review contains some constructive criticism that is intended to help some poets with their writing. there is a limitation on the use of smilies in posts on Literotica and therefore i am unable to include what i would like. my intention is to encourage and help by giving suggestions to poets.




15 new poems today. Let's see what we've got.

William Carlos Williams' Plums by tangiblemorsel caught me totally. i wanted to read more than this poet's poem, so i looked up WCW, found his poem this poet refers to and have had a thoroughly enjoyable half hour being sidetracked by WCW poetry and life story. thank you tangiblemorsel! now to comment on your poem. i was expecting brevity (The Red Wheelbarrow style of writing) and so your poem threw me off momentarily. i found it an enjoyable read. i have no hassles with your line breaks, stanza breaks, punctuation or grammar. i think i would like to see a little more poetic language and i'm sorry but i couldn't figure out what a 'Bruegel is. thanks for sharing this poem, i look forward to reading more of your writing.

City Slicker by thebluelady . good imagery, nice line breaks. interesting line end rhyme - i say interesting because it's a very modern topic and i often don't equate rhyme poetry with modern topics. that'll teach me. to improve, i'd suggest checking the spelling and adding in some missing punctuation. i think this poem is well written.

It is you by rose butterfly. i have not come across this poet's writing before which somewhat astonishes me as there are a large number of submissions on her page. i found this poem a smooth read. i think to improve i'd double check the need for initial capitals at the beginning of each line. i am not sure about line end words 'of' and 'for'. thanks for sharing this poem.

SoftlyWhisper has give poetry submissions today. there is something about each of these poems that tugs a little at my heart. if i were to choose a favourite of the five it would be It's Hard To Die. to improve, i would suggest thinking about breaking this poem into stanzas, perhaps having the repetitive line at the beginning of each new stanza. thank you for sharing your poetry - you've given me food for thought and i always appreciate that.

Bed by WFEATHER , well, this poem sure got the heart beating a little faster. i like the line and stanza breaks, can't fault them. i like the punctuation. the format is interesting and intelligent. should the word be 'which' or 'that'? i think it's 'that'. well written. and i look forward to reading more of your writing.

Fantazies brings us two poems today. You Smiled and Your Fantasy. i liked both poems for the story the poet is telling. i think there could be a little more work/editing done on both poems. there are commas where i feel none should be and there is some wordiness in the first where i feel a little tightening could create a poem with impact. eg for the first line 'You smiled at me with your eyes,' how about 'Your eyes smiled' - does that say the same thing? is it more, or less, poetic sounding? just a little editing to tighten the words could improve this poem. thank you for sharing these poems.

It has two ends, of course by AnonAndAnon . i liked this poem very much. the images are clear, the writing fairly concise. i almost wonder if it would be a prose poem (i'm still learning about those myself, so please forgive my ignorance) - to me, it seems to read more like prose than poetry - almost. i find it interesting that you captured my interest with the title and continued to keep my interest as i read through the whole poem - that is quite a feat. so to figure out why, i'd say it was the story you tell plus some unusual and unexpected wording i.e. 'Extinguished in the pavement'. poetry should contain the unexpected, that special wording that sets it apart from prose. thank you for making me think about this. to improve i'd suggest the poet considers taking out the initial word capitals on each line. for me as a reader, i don't think this poem warrants their use. thank you for sharing this poem, i've learnt a lot.

Haiku De Amore by new poet swingchick69r had me intrigued from the title. Haiku - Japanese and 'de Amore' - French. i didn't know what to expect and the surprise was complete when i read the submission. for improvement, i'd suggest to the poet to check out Haiku on the www. Welcome to Literotica

Passion Divine by new poet tragickmoon . i found this an interesting read in so much as i enjoyed the rhyme. i think the format should possibly be prose poem or shorten the line length for free verse - my machine shows a very long line running down to the next line which is somewhat off-putting to read. i think the first word should have an initial capital - it is an important word and shouldn't be lost among the other words. i like the repetition. yes, i would consider presenting this as prose and perhaps with a little editing improve the other poetic techniques. thanks for sharing this poem and Welcome to Literotica.

Waiting by relatively new poet fivemin . i think this poem has potential. it could do with a spelling and punctuation check. i found the double line spacing slightly distracting and wonder if it would be improved by using single line spacing.


Please note that these are my opinions on poems. It is up to you as a reader and/or writer to form your own. Go read, go comment and keep writing!

 

[Tzara]

I think Angie's doing reviews today and I don't want to be stepping on her particularly dainty toes, but go take a looksee at these two from today:

• Signature by SpectaclesInSkirt. This one seems kind of erotic and sad at the same time. An odd combination, but it works. (Well, maybe not that odd a combination. Tess' E.T.D. from a few days ago had a similar combination of bittersweetness and eroticism. Perhaps it's a trend.)

• Fucking the Paper with a Pen by darkerdreamer is a similar mixture of emotions. In this case sort of an erotically charged violent nonviolence. Or something.

Anyway, both are quite interesting poems that I enjoyed considerably.

 

[Angeline]

May 15, 2007

I think Angie's doing reviews today and I don't want to be stepping on her particularly dainty toes, but go take a looksee at these two from today:

• Signature by SpectaclesInSkirt. This one seems kind of erotic and sad at the same time. An odd combination, but it works. (Well, maybe not that odd a combination. Tess' E.T.D. from a few days ago had a similar combination of bittersweetness and eroticism. Perhaps it's a trend.)

• Fucking the Paper with a Pen by darkerdreamer is a similar mixture of emotions. In this case sort of an erotically charged violent nonviolence. Or something.

Anyway, both are quite interesting poems that I enjoyed considerably.

I am indeed, just had a long day today and didn't get to them until now. But nothing wrong with agreement; we agree on so much, don't we?

There are fifteen new poems today. These are my favorites:

Easter seems far gone now but SoftlyWhisper brings backs the bunnies and jelly beans with a quartet of Easter Haikus. My favorite, Quinsam Trail, is not very Easterish at all, but I love the image it conjures. Her Moving On is also very evocative. It could stand to lose a few clichés and would hit harder with some shaping, but it has some excellent imagery like:

Heard only by yellow-eyed alley cats
That hiss and spit in your direction

darker dreamer has two poems in today’s batch, both excellent reads. Fucking the Paper with a Pen tackles a subject familiar to all of us--writing as sex substitute, while The Vertical Divide, my favorite of the two, uses the empty bed as both a literal image of loss and a metaphor for it.

SpectaclesInSkirt offers a wonderful dramatic monologue in Signature. It’s full of vivid images and little details that really bring the poem to life.

You may have other poems you’d like to recommend. If so, please do!

Peace,
Angeline

 

[LeBroz]

Wednesday's Review

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Another hump day to celebrate with 13 new postings to contemplate. Let's see which tickle my tummy today...

SoftlyWhisper, this month's prolific poet, with over 70 posts to her credit already, has five postings today. Of these, the three non-erotic pieces strike me as worthy of mention:

Storm's Approach (Haiku) is notable for the fact that this poet seems to have grasped the meaning of haiku beyond the syllable count. The issue here, it seems to me, is that there's too much subjective telling to the reader of what is happening. The first line, "Darkening clouds loom", might work better as "Dark clouds throb and loom". Writing true haiku is not as simple as it at first glance appears and this poet is doing a much better job than most. And this form is also less forgiving of typos such as that last word that looks like it should have been written as "descent".​

A Bird Cries has a rhyme structure that doesn't overwhelm and lets the message {and metaphor} be clearly heard. A small sample:

So go ahead and let her ache
Let her know the pain I feel
Harm her, maim her, watch her bleed
This is not a game, it’s real​

​

Tip Toe has a sound from its words that make the ballerina image so much more real:

Tip toe, tip toe; step and twirl dream doll
Spin and twirl, then spin and spin some more
Play your lovely music; twinkling melody of love
Tip toe, tip toe and twirl​

​

UBU brings us an imaginative historical piece in The Spartan Woman. Here's an economically told tale moving from Athens to Sicily and back to Sparta, with a fun look at what an Athenian slave can do for his Spartan owner:

As welcome to the household
I was stripped and inspected
To my new mistress’s laughter
"Your equipment shames my husband’s,"
She said "I thought Athenians
Carried shorter swords."

All Greece knows
Spartan women are hard
They say you can crack
An egg on their ass
My lady soon wrote
Many a red line on mine​

And finally, hmmnmm offers up an interesting piece in Inheritance. It's a pleasurable poem to read; it carries its own sparkle. Read it a few times and wallow in the creative imagery.


That 's it for now. The hard part of the week's behind you and the weekend's fast approaching. Enjoy! And remember to read, vote, comment ~ it's the least you can do. Above all, comment ~ a fair exchange for the pleasure of reading free poetry.

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[unapologetic]

It's Thursday kiddies, and you know what that means!

37 new poems today, ladies and gentlemen. It was a big day.

When I first started reading, I thought it was going to be a repeat of last week – a complete no hitter. It felt like an attack of a junior high poetry club. Then I found these:

Carnal Knowledge by RisiaSkye is definitely worth a look. It feels a bit insubstantial, like we’re floating on the surface of something much bigger, but it has some great sounds.

Toy Boat by SoftlyWhisper also caught my attention. I especially liked the last two lines.

The last line of Mind Array by bluerains is so very lyrical.

unpredictablebijou gave us three today that are all worth your time. First there is Notes found written to..., which is a little drawn out, but that is easily forgiven in light of the wonderful images. Next, there is Venus, One Month Later, which I love, love, love, loved. The anachronistic feel made me smile. Last is Ishtar, 23. There is one line (fourth from the last) that feels misplaced and distracting, but this is an otherwise worthy piece. And all this from someone so new to Literotica (just joined in April ’07).

And, in my normal leave-my-favorite-for-last manner, I give you ABC's of Sex by Daniellekitten. Was this my favorite because of some well-executed poetic device? No. Then surely it has a great story? No. Was it at least an original take on some topic? No, not really. What this poem did was to make me laugh. And I needed a laugh today.

That’s it for this week. Don’t forget to tip your waiters and waitresses…

 

[champagne1982]

There aren't any new poems posted as of 6 am MNT. I'll check back throughout the day to check then.

This post edit has been brought to you by The Department Of Redundancy Department -- The "serving you through repeating ourselves in constant repetition constantly" service.

 

[champagne1982]

Only six new poems this Saturday, May 19th. There seems to be a preponderence of pain infliction, either physical or emotional, as a theme to almost all of them. I wouldn't feel comfortable directing your attention to one particular poem on the list today since, primarily, they're definitely niche poems on a couple of rarified topics. Have a peek and form your own opinions though poets. Leave a comment and help poetry in Lit improve to the best it can be.

 

[Angeline]

Sunday, May 20

There are 18 new poems today for you to peruse. I didn’t see any that I am wildly enthusiastic about, but I saw a bunch (the best of which I mentioned here) with a lot of potential. I think our forum’s workshop threads (Poetry in Progress, Not for the Thin-Skinned, etc.), and our discussion circle have fallen into disarray. We need to get back in those threads and support each other with critique. There’s so much talent here, and workshopping can give our writing the finesse that makes a poem with promise a good--or great--poem.


The Starboard View of the Soul by darkerdreamer needs a good edit, not just a dusting and sweeping up of extra words, but a recasting of the last strophe for clarity. And having said that, this is a poem with much promise: a solid story and the momentum to tell it with the passion I’ve come to expect from this poet. Don’t lose this one, dd, it has potential.

Impressions of His Skin by petite redhead is another poem with potential. It could be a very strong prose poem with an edit for extra words and clichés, a tightening of some of the imagery, a shaping to lose the enforced “poetic structure.” It has some very good imagery. petiteredhead has a raw poetic voice that, like an untrained tenor, needs some breath control to really sing.

Boxlicker101 gives us Up With Politicians, a rhyme that could become the marching song of the politically disenchanted. Yes it’s mostly an ABAB rhyme scheme and the diction is trite in a few places, but the sentiment is strong and passionate. And yknow, if you watch a few hours of what now passes for political coverage on the idiot box, you may feel like stomping down Pennsylvania Avenue and chanting this one as I did. My favorite today because it made me laugh and nod my head in agreement.

If you took Boxlicker’s poem and turned it into a free-verse stream-of-consciousness rant, you might morph into hmmnmm’s poem, Untitled. It’s a bit abstract for my tastes, but the message comes across loud and clear. I thought about what this poem needs to give it the oomph it seems to lack, and I believe the answer is a strong title. Sometimes a title is the only thing missing to give a poem direction.

These are just my opinions. If you want to add to the recommendations (or rail at me for telling you to workshop your poems lol), go for it. Alternatively, you could relax and enjoy a fine spring Sunday.

Peace,
Angeline

 

[Rybka]

New Poems of Monday May 21, 2007

There are 17 new submissions on this third Monday in May, and as I always did, I will start off today with a non-erotic poem from the archives. Today, I did not ‘spin’ for a poem, but rather used my prerogative to pick an early work by Monday’s usual reviewer, a talented poet from New Zealand, even if she is upside down.

Today's Golden Oldie:
This work was posted in September of 2004 by wildsweetone. This poem gives a taste of New Zealand spring and shows the potential for the growth we have seen over the last 2 ½ years as WSO has developed into one of Lit’s most consistently good poets.

Kakariki Kinship

Dark green foliage
slow swaying windswept
arc, cleaning dreary
morning mist.

Tui call echoes
through bush filled valleys
souvenirs beneath
decayed brown mould.

Ground ferns spawning
unfurling naïve
newborns, stretching
to dark green leaves.


*kakariki is the Maori word for green.

***

Of the 17 new submissions, 10 of them are labeled erotic. Now this is an adult website, specializing in erotic writing, so that is to be expected. What few new writers ever seem to realize is that erotic poetry is much harder to write well than non-erotic poetry. (Not that that is easy!) It is very difficult to write ‘fresh’ erotica largely because the words and images are limited, so little is new to the reader.

Of today’s 10 erotic offerings I will suggest that you first read A Carpenter by Unbridled_Passion. She takes a not overused metaphor and builds an interesting structure with it.

***

Of the 7 non-erotic works only two catch my eye. OREGON_GAL gives us Sliding. The poet makes use of a lot of alliteration and some interesting imagery. The piece is not consistently strong and tight, but is certainly worth a read.

Gorged inside the rift of lotus spirals
I am etched into the shape of your laughter
Marbled and grained
Angled angels held open your gates
. . .

***

The second to read is a short one by SASSYSUBB2 who has submitted her first three poems today. This is her only non-erotic one. Burn is a simple question and answer poem. I am not completely content with the last line. Go read and see what you think and give some encouragement to this new Lit. poet.

***

standard fishy disclaimer:
Taste is always an individual thing so there certainly may be other poems out there today that you will thoroughly enjoy. If you find ones you really like on the New Poems page, please come back and tell us about them!

And please remember that our poets need your support, so Read Vote Comment Feedback. It won’t come back around if you don’t send it out!

Regards, Rybka


To A Poet, Who Would Have Me Praise Certain Bad Poets. . .
You say, as I have often given tongue
In praise of what another's said or sung,
'Twere politic to do the like by these;
But was there ever dog that praised his fleas?
~ Yeats

 

[Tzara]

Hey, folkies, also check out this one, a rare submission from today's substitute reviewer. A fun poem that pushes alliteration to, or perhaps past, its reasonable limit. The poet himself admits the poem is not finished, but you gotta love this:

From my bed I see, spy
ship stippled sea, Aye​

That fuckin' rocks, especially when you try to read the damn thing out loud. It's way over the top, of course, but it still rocks.

Welcome back, Mr. R. It's a nice review, as always, too. We (well, at least I) miss them.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Not meaning to step on toes - may I put forward UnderyourSpell as worth reading. He has four poems up today, all the same slightly dated style but I like the cut of his poetic jib.

Stepping asise for Ange.