One for the ladies ...

[higherlevel4u]

Q What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A A rumour

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the Happiest woman in the world."

The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

Nice ones, you two ....

 

[WantonWitch]

Dear Lord,I pray for
Wisdom to understand my man
Love to forgive him
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,

I'll beat him to death.

AMEN

 

[Essa]

What do you call a handcuffed man?


Trustworthy

 

[WantonWitch]

Q What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

 

[ima6uldv8]

A man's wife was fixing breakfast one morning. Her husband grabs her ass and says that if she firmed it up, she could get rid of her control top panty hose. The next morning, he grabs her breasts and says if she firmed those up, she could get rid of her bra. She grabs his cock and says, if you firmed that up, we could get rid of the gardner, the pool guy and your brother.

 

[WantonWitch]

Q How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?


A Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

 

[hotsxylady]

Great Advice to Pass on to Your Daughters


1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal...

 

[higherlevel4u]

How to impress a woman:

Love her; compliment her; kiss her; cuddle her; comfort her; protect her; hug her; hold her; spend money on her; wine and dine her; listen to her; care for her; stand by her; go that extra mile for her ...


How to impress a man:

Turn up naked with beer ....

 

[higherlevel4u]

Great Advice to Pass on to Your Daughters

Hots, I thank you ....

 

[WantonWitch]

Q Why do little boys whine?

A They are practicing to be men.

 

[hotsxylady]

Hots, I thank you ....

What a wonderful idea Highest one, however can we thank you for such an inspirational thread



Q How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?


AThree. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

 

[WantonWitch]

Q What is the difference between men and women?

A A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

 

[hotsxylady]

Q What is the difference between men and women?

A A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

LMAO!! Good one Witchie



Q What do you call a man with half a brain?



A Gifted.

 

[WantonWitch]

LMAO!! Good one Witchie



Q What do you call a man with half a brain?



A Gifted.

Good thread huh

Men are like mini skirts


If you are not careful they'll creep up your legs.

 

[higherlevel4u]

What a wonderful idea Highest one, however can we thank you for such an inspirational thread



Q How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?


AThree. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

LOL ... I'm already beginning to think this was a mistake ....

 

[hotsxylady]

Good thread huh

Men are like mini skirts


If you are not careful they'll creep up your legs.

Yeah, wonderful therapy this is


Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?


Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

 

[WantonWitch]

LOL ... I'm already beginning to think this was a mistake ....

Really... what makes you think that

Men are like.....Horoscopes.


They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

 

[hotsxylady]

LOL ... I'm already beginning to think this was a mistake ....

On the contrary, women will be lining up to thank you



What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man?



Big Foot's been spotted a several times.

 

[WantonWitch]

Men are like.....Noodles.


They're always in hot water, they lack taste and they need dough.

 

[hotsxylady]

Why did God create man before woman?


Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.

 

[higherlevel4u]

Jesus was a typical man, wasn't he?

They all say they'll come back, but that's the last you see of 'em ....

 

[higherlevel4u]

I haven't had any hate mail yet from irate males ....

 

[hotsxylady]

I haven't had any hate mail yet from irate males ....

*Smiles* give it time

Is there a male equivalent thread....I didn't notice one?



Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?


When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

 

[WantonWitch]

Q: Why do men masturbate?

A: It's sex with someone they love.

 

[hotsxylady]

Why are men so bad at sex and driving?


Because the bastards always pull out with no thought of who else might be coming.