OOC: YOU MIGHT BE A GAMER IF...

Ravenloft: Please do not remind me! I kept quick saving and reloading just so I could laugh everytime I chunked that bitch! The town of Nashkal owns me a debt...
 
You're welcome Dr. INS.

Cryo... Um... That was before vga graphics lad...

Necro, I loved the druid guy! Heheh! Him and Boo!
 
ok, fine. your not a true gamer until you can tell me what a context sensitive is! (I allready know. and I think that it's sourse is a TRUE video game, after the hearts of everyone at literotica.)
 
Druid? His name was Minis..Midic..Misinc! By the way, he was a ranger and Boo was a giant space hamster.
 
Sorry, Ranger... Minsc or something like that I thought... Boo was a MINIATURE giant space hampster though! Heheh!
 
Ok, by now I'm just trying to add posts to my record. I'm tired and should be ignored (unless it's a working thread. *Couchking and countryhacka world untamedwheese*)
 
gamer? did i hear the magic word?

yes, me gaming junkie... D&D, V:TM (LARP), Magic, and basically anything. *grins* someday i will go to GENCON!!!

i have this first-ed D&D char by the name of Shila (duh) who is: 147-th level ranger/assassin mage - elf goddess. lots of fun.

we once stumped our Dm... it was funny... if you wanna hear the story ask me
 
suggested: A NEW DIRECTION FOR THIS THREAD!!!

Okay everyone who has 'em: let's hear your funny gaming stories! The more obscure the humour, the better! If we are going to be gamer geeks, let's be gamer GEEKS!

(The more people who read this, and walk away with a glazed look (sure sign our feeblemind spell worked), the greater the geek quotient)

To start:
My DM some years ago had worked for an entire week on a ship for us to attack. Run by an evil cleric, it was crewed by undead. This ship was intended to be extremely difficult for our party, as he had really put in a ton of work... designing floor plans, battle plans, defensive tactics...

He forgot one itsy-bitsy detail... he used skeletons, and my character was a good cleric. A good cleric of high enough level to automatically turn undead vs. skeletons. See skeleton. See skeleton run. See skeleton dive overboard. See skeleton sink like rock. Sink skeleton, sink!
 
<heads allready spinning> I was once a gamer like that. That was many years ago. but then I was awakened to the magnificent wonderment, that was as fantastic as it was beautyfull, and that was the video game. From thus to thus, I became a videogamer, and all this d&d crap is archaic, barbaric, ancient, Passe and old school. A good allegory would be; why would you watch a black and white movie when there are 3-d interactive hollographic Full Vision theaters releasing new movied on a weekly basis!?
 
Cryo said:
A good allegory would be; why would you watch a black and white movie when there are 3-d interactive hollographic Full Vision theaters releasing new movie on a weekly basis!?

This would be because some times the classics are simply better. Flash and glammer doesn't mean much without the actual content to keep one interested after they get over the new stuff being shown. Look at The Phantom Menace. As good as it was, it didn't have the same quality that the older Star Wars: A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back had in terms of actual plot and fun. Sure, the effects were much better, but that was pretty much all it had going. This isn't the case all the time, but you know what I mean. Besides, it's pretty much a "different strokes for different folks" type deal.
 
...loosing your dice bag would be a serious financial blow.

Yes

...you could paper you bathroom in character sheets.

As well as most of my Bedroom, hell we even had a character sheet for a boat we built... dont ask

...you could paper your bathroom in different versions of just ONE character.

Astalon would be this character... Ton of shit on him... Ended up being a level 30 something wizard... Oh fireballs took for ever to roll lol :)

...you have more entertaining "No-shit,-there-I-was-in-a-game" stories than you do anecdotes about your family.

Maybe

...you talk about your characters as if they are real people.

Used to..

...you alternate between referring to your characters in the first and the third person.

Only during the game...

... and none of your friends gets confused.

Only during the game...

...you've ever spent a significant fraction of your life modifying game rules that you didn't like... and, as soon as the system worked to your satisfaction, discarded it.

Yes, I made AAD&D but got pissed because everyone kept asking to play it and I wasnt in the mood, so I lit it on fire :(

...you worship idols of Gary Gygax in your basement.

Cant say that I do

...you burn Gary Gygax in effigy in your back yard.

Nope

...you've ever seen the old AD&D tv series.

Yep

...you're still reading this list.

Doh!!!

...you hang out with people you actively dislike because they give good role-play. (Snickering! Give good role-play!)

Yes I hated most of the people I played with, but they where good at what they did.

...you've ever gotten into a screaming match over something that happened in a game... (You are so dead! I am not dead! Are too!)

Of course, I was the DM most of the time...

...you have more than one photocopied bootleg of a gaming text.

Only certain parts of many gaming texts

...you keep old characters around just in case someone might run that system again. (Never mind that its TS: SI)

You know it.. Several Gurps characters laying around

...You knew what I meant when I said TS:SI.

Cant remember

...you have a PhD in manipulating point systems to the best effect, even though you failed high school geometry.

Nah, manipulating the system doesnt tend to lead to fun.. It gets so boring when your character is a God at second level.

...you have been known to drive to far away places where you paid enormous amounts of money for the privelege of sleeping on floors, eating crap, buying little pewter statues of Gandalf, and meeting dozens of psychopathic members of the alternate (or similar) sex who will follow you around for months, merely for the pleasure of playing with gamers you don't know.

Gencon baby three years running. :) Going again this year, Anyone want to join me?

...you own your own weight in gaming books.

double or triple my weight I'm sure

...the owners of local hobby stores take your checks without ID because they know where you live.

Oh course I was his first customer :)

...you can do AD&D money conversions in your head.

Used to be able too.

...you could wallpaper you bedroom in Dragon Mirths (tm).

Nope

...you consider the 20th century a state of mind.

Yep

...you have a random NPC generator, written in BASIC, designed to run on the Trash-80 or the Commodore 64.

I wrote a windows based version, but my computer crashed :(

...you've ever designed your own character sheets.

Yep, how could you not as a DM?

...you can be more that three NPCs at the same time without generating more than reasonable confusion in your players.

Yep, did it all the time.

...you have ever played a Dwarven character who did not have "axe" or "beard" ANYWHERE in his or her name.

Axil Stormbreathe was his name

...you know how to sex dwarves. (No, its not just looking under their beards! Perve! chromosome typing- required a blood sample. I'M not getting it...)

All we could figure out is dwarves must be really well hung.

...you've ever tried to explain gaming to a school counselor, parent, or other PW/OC (Person With/Out Clue).

Oh god yes... remembers the fond days of high school and junior high

...you've suceeded.

Sort of... I think... All I know is they let me go :)


...you're STILL reading this list.

Who Told?

...you can quote extensively from the Wandering Damage Tables.

Nope

...you've mistaken a d12 or a double d10 for a d20 while playing AD&D and had a THAC0 low enough to hit the 8HD monster, anyway...

Yep, happened at least a couple times

...you understood that.

Doh !!!

...your AC is so low that even you can't hit yourself. (Love that one!)

Yeah -25 is kinda hard to hit

...an 87 point Balrog is no big thrill anymore.

Balrog? Dont remember what that is.

... you bring your dicebag even to diceless roleplaying events. (Diceless role playing?! *Gasp*)

Yes, but that because I didnt know it was diceless. Not to mention I had my dice with me when I used to play online, You know good luck

...you've ever discovered, after gaming with your significant other, that you like their character better than you do them. (Heheh!)

Nope, all my significant others thought I was nuts

...you have friends or acquaintances who regularly refer to you as "Og." (Or something similar.)

Nope. Sometimes they would refer to me as Astalon even after our gaming sessions.

...you've ceased responding to your birth name.

No, I still respond on occasion

...you sometimes forget what century this is.

Its the 20th right?

...your first response to any frustrating situation is, "I bash it with my axe." (Hahahah!)

Nope, hit it with a fire ball, then bash it with the dwarf

...your friend(s) who does not game feels very left out of all of your conversations.

Especially significant others.

...you have more gaming books than the local hobby store.

Cant say that I do

...you've discovered that spare dice make good beanbag filler.

No beanbags, but we have used dice bags as hackie sacks

...you knew that that last question was a ringer: who has more dice than they can use? (Snickering.)

Every gamer I believe.

... you have a copy of "Dark Dungeons" kicking around somewhere because a: you thought it was funny b: your parents got concerned that you were living in a fantasy realm.

Whats "Dark Dungeons"?

...you're sortof dissapointed that you haven't reached the level where they start teaching you the real spells (as described in the above "Dark Dungeons" pamphlet) yet: You're sure you must be a high enough level.

Huh?

...you've been gaming for more than half of your life.

Almost

...you still laugh when someone says "Hey, Dave, I think the barbarian in the corner wants another beer."

Not really

...you knew a female gamer once. (Coughing nervously.)

More then once

...you were a female gamer once.

That would be a lil hard

...you tend to play characters as different from you in race, religion, sex, sexual orientation, and what have you as possible, just to confuse your friends.

I've played just about everything... My favorite star wars character was a woman that was force attuned or whatever...
No I didnt make love with the other PCs.

...you've been known to have in-depth conversations about the relative merits of Champions, V&V, Marvel, and DC heroes... ignoring the fact that all superhero systems are intrinsically sucky.

Maybe... *shameful stare*

...you like one of the above systems enough that you yelped when I called them all, "sucky."

Cant say that I do.

...you actually bought TSR's "Dungeoneer's Survival Guide" when it first came out.

Nope.

...you've ever tried to discover the strengths and weaknesses of a haemophiliac werewolf. (Grinning.)

Nope.

...someone is attempting to explain the floorplan of a building to you and you immediately start thinking in terms of 10X10 squares.

LOL.... Yeah yeah yeah.

...or 6'x6' hexes.


- your character has more close friends than you do.

Doh.

- you have more Star Frontiers modules than you have close friends.

Nope.

- you could write a biography of your character easier than you could write your own autobiography.

Been there, done that.

- you think that such a biography WOULD BE an autobiography.

Nah not really.

- your most important criteria for a mate is that they're a gamer, too.

Nah, but it would sure be nice. *sighs*

- you're a hetero male and you've considered changing orientation just to find a mate to meet that criterion (that's a word, right?).

Hell No.


- you've ever written a speech for your character to make just in case he should find himself in such a situation.

Nope.

- you remember when all games referred to characters as "he".

Nope, I'm still a 'pup' as far as some are concerned

* Your idea of a fun Friday night consists of getting the gang together and playing for eight or more hours.

12 hours I think was our norm.. My parents where frightened.

* The only reason you want a lake cabin is so you and the gang can go up there and play non-stop all weekend without any distractions.

Nope, I love to fish.

* You finally get to the point where you look at everything on the shelves and say "*I* can do a better job than these bozos!"

Hardly, I'm much to modest for that.

* You actually get a chance to do just that.

Hopefully someday I'll get published.

* ...and you succeed!

Still hoping.

* Everything you see, hear, or taste translates into some form of stats for a game. ("Wow! That move was cool...that means he's got Swing Sword +20 and Look Cool In Armor +15.")

Depends on my mood, and I usually keep it to my self if I feel that way.

* You branch out from RPGs into the stuff that game was derived from so you make better sense of the bloody thing. (Gamers-turned-Otaku, Gamers-turned-occultists, Gamers-turned-goths, Gamers-turned-military personel, Gamers-turned-martial artists, etc.)

Yes I've done this before... Tae Kwon Do lessons... Goth type make up... Live action roleplaying of Vampire the Masqurade (sp?)

* ...and you *still* don't stop playing! (Loyal man! I like you!)

I play when I can

* Your resume descrivbes you as a '5th-Level Civil Engineer' (LMAO!)

LOL

* You've figured out that the Average AD&D Great Wyrm Red Dragon has 7 cubic feet of treasure.

Not sure, still hunting one.

* You Demand Experience points after winning a fistfight.

Nah, I save experience for breaking ribs.

* You have a nickname that makes no sense because one of your characters had it.

A couple.

-Your still reading this list?!

Doh!!!

* You Buy Dragon Magazine "For the Articles."

Yes sir I sure do.

* You Worship TSR.

F*ck TSR.

* You Detest T$R.

Bows to TSR

* You know how to use dice as weapons.

*Pokes out your eyes with a d8*

* You use phrases like 'Save vs. Graduation or go insane for 1d4 days.'

LOL... I've been known to roll for such things.

* You know how many hit points every member of your family has.

Nah, that would just be wierd.

* You know that you can fit 20 d4's together to make a large d20 because you've actually tried it.

nope.

* (For the [mostly] male gamers) You meet couples through your spouse/partner and form only a casual acquaintance with the half of the pair of the same gender as yourself - until one day, after months/years of having known them, one of you drops some gaming reference like "looks like a kobold" or "don't mind me - I've got a 12-point hide" (the more obscure the better) - and suddenly you're best of mates, and they seem to have value as a person now

Not yet.

* You whoop with joy on rolling a 20 for hit location with a Gauss Rifle on your first hit on an opponent

Nope

* You know which game that must be in

Traveller?

* You know the TWO meanings of the term "AC20"

Cant think of the other

* Your life-philosophy manifests as your taking Gaming seriously while taking most of the rest of life light-heartedly - the complete opposite to the way most of society seems to work

DOH!!!

- When someone asks you, "Level Three fall, what's the piloting skill mod?", you know what they mean.

I could figure it out

- You, reading this, know what it means.

I think so

- You not only know what it means, but can yell out what page it is on.

Nope

- And you're correct!

Nope

- And you get mad when somebody checks up on you, to see if it was the right page!

Probably

That was interesting.
So Am I a gamer?
 
I don't know who's sader. the person who wrote that, the person who responded to every question, or me for having read every question and answer, even though I'm not a gamer!


I'll bet none of you can tell me what a context sensitive is yet though.
"but dat game is for gwown ups ownly"
all I can say is that the game is truly a clasic, worth whatever ppl charge for it, and something that you never tire of playing through, for simply the content.
 
Hmm...

Perhaps the biggest difference between gamers of the pen&paper variety, and gamers of the console/pc variety is in the desire for social interaction. When you get a bunch of friends together to play D&D for a while, there is as much conversation and goofing around as there is actual gameplay. We get together as a social activity.

Computer games, however, emphasize the gaming itself. You are playing alone, of course, in many such games. In the ones where you are linked to other players, the interaction seems to mainly consist of talk about the game in which you are currently playing.

There is some hope, however, for the worlds to mingle: Everquest, my current drug of choice, has plenty of opportunity for socializing. Granted, the game itself isn't perfect... ;), but the opportunity to hang out with any of 350,000 different players is kinda awesome. Neverwinter Nights, the latest, greatest hope for online D&D, should be coming out very soon. In that, gamers should be able to do pretty much anything they could do with a 'real' D&D game, but with awesome graphics!

I guess for those of us who grew up without the spectacular effects commonplace in modern television, movies, and games, the knack of using our imaginations comes more easily, in order to immerse ourselves in our old-fashioned games.

The RP boards here on Lit are a terrific example of gaming at its most basic. We gather here to explore each other's imaginations, with very little aid by way of game mechanics, illustrations, or graphical wizardry. I'm personally very glad to have found a place like this, with such an amazing array of interesting people. (Even you, Cryo! *hugs*)
 
*Clearing my throat.*

Hey, hey Cryo...


*Busts into song.*

I am the great mighty POO!

Context sensitive! It gives you what you need when you need it! What a concept!!! Whoa!
 
*Singing again*

If your not careful, I'll throw my POO at you!
(Or however it went...)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! *Glurp!*
 
Ravenloft

Mr. Hankey, the christmas poo. Small and brown, he comes from you. Sit on the toilet, here he comes. Squeeze between your festive buns. *Thinking he needs to watch less t.v.*
 
Anymore kiddies with toilet jokes will get their dice firmly and irrevocably fondled.
 
<looks at ravenloft with evi; eyes o\/o > THAT"S RIGHT! a context sensitive is an area that gives you exactly what you need at that time. Like, asperin when you have the worst hangover of a lifetime, a flamethrowed to burn burn burn some bats into submision, some kitchen knives to slice and dice and hack and chop and massicre that damn pitchfork for trying to kick the shit out of you, You know, whatever.


I must admit this though, when they say that the sunflowers are big breasted, BOY are they BIG breasted. you even get to go bouncing on those gigantic juggers!
 
*gasp*

Oh, Man! She threatened your dice, dude... back down, immediately. Anything but that. [if you want to see just how heinous that threat can be made... there is a very scary thread showing just that... check out A Gamer and his Dice. If you dare...]

btw: Good job with that thread. A mixture of laughing myself silly, and shaking with fear. Talk about illegal dice-fondling!
 
While were all here, lets reflect on upcoming block busters:

Aracanum:
Genre: Rpg
Why you should play it: Made by directors of Fallout
Why you give damn: If you don't your probaly John Romeo's Bitch! ( key word search: Dakitana)

Blackand White:
Genre: Umm.,,lets just say creature creating, god killing fun, okay?
Why you should play it: Face it! This game lets you create your own monster and teach him whatever you want! Plus, there are no limits to what you can teach him! Thats right! No max out in monster school! Also, AI is kickin..kickin Half Lifes and Deus Ex's ASS!
Why you give a damn: Your probably a drug addict who thought Warlords Battle cry was better then AOE 2 and that the sims was nothing compared to Oni ( which rocked at fighting, but socked at everything else) But thats onlyif don't care about the upcoming release of BLACK & WHITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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