Pacing and dialog

[ElectricBlue]

This came up a couple of years ago, and, curious as to my own tag count, I counted (that's a recount, I guess) them up in several stories. I was surprisingly consistent: about 20% "he said" "she said" (or "replied"); 50% or 60%, no tag (either obvious to and fro, or context given by the surrounding action narrative, with separate sentences or phrases), and the remainder, some other variant on a vocal tag, such as "whispered", "wailed", "cried out". Dependent on the heat of the sex, obviously...

Which sorta kinda suggests, let the action speak for you, and use tags as a signpost so readers don't get confused.

 

[NotWise]

I started out surprised that a professional writer with professional editors, publishing in the mainstream would write bare dialog to slow the pace of a story. Given your responses, I still find it surprising. He may not be getting the effect he intends, or he may be annoying readers -- which is probably not what he wants.

 

[mildlyaroused]

The vast, vast majority of my dialogue is either tagged with "said", "asked", or not tagged at all. I've always thought that more descriptive tags should be used sparingly, or they risk losing their power. I've read many stories here where almost every "said" is replaced by something else. When the majority of lines are "shouted", "whispered", "cried", "laughed", or whatever it may be, the writer is not creating much of a different effect than if they just stuck to "said." All they are doing is spelling "said" differently in each line.

This isn't so much a matter of pacing, though. Too much un-tagged dialogue in my eyes lends itself more to a faster pace, not a slower one. Since most of my stories are slow, meandering affairs, I write very few conversations that have floating dialogue like this. Usually only a couple lines at a time.

 

[ElectricBlue]

The vast, vast majority of my dialogue is either tagged with "said", "asked", or not tagged at all. I've always thought that more descriptive tags should be used sparingly, or they risk losing their power. I've read many stories here where almost every "said" is replaced by something else. When the majority of lines are "shouted", "whispered", "cried", "laughed", or whatever it may be, the writer is not creating much of a different effect than if they just stuck to "said." All they are doing is spelling "said" differently in each line.

I'm reading a mainstream Brit crime writer at the moment. Her go to, "Let's avoid using 'said'," is:

"Line of dialogue, yakkety yak." This was main character number one, who action action...

It's weird. It could work if it's introducing someone new, but when we already know the character it's just odd - and becomes artificial avoidance. Using said would have been far less obtrusive.

 

[SimonDoom]

I'm reading a mainstream Brit crime writer at the moment. Her go to, "Let's avoid using 'said'," is:

"Line of dialogue, yakkety yak." This was main character number one, who action action...

It's weird. It could work if it's introducing someone new, but when we already know the character it's just odd - and becomes artificial avoidance. Using said would have been far less obtrusive.

I don't follow that. What is she recommending? What does a line of dialogue look like, as she recommends?

 

[ElectricBlue]

I don't follow that. What is she recommending? What does a line of dialogue look like, as she recommends?

The second sentence above.

She has the line of dialogue, followed by quote This was Fred Blogs, doing blah blah blah end quote. I don't quite know how to quote it, without confusing the spoken sentence (which is as per usual) and the speech tag, which I've never seen before.

Trying again:

"Harm her?" This was Fred Bloggs, his voice soft but chilling.

More usually, you'd write:

"Harm her?" Fred Bloggs asked, his voice soft but chilling.

 

[SimonDoom]

The second sentence above.

She has the line of dialogue, followed by quote This was Fred Blogs, doing blah blah blah end quote. I don't quite know how to quote it, without confusing the spoken sentence (which is as per usual) and the speech tag, which I've never seen before.

Trying again:


More usually, you'd write:

I don't understand why one would choose to write that way.

People get so many strange ideas about how to write dialogue that it makes me wonder if they actually read books. Using "asked" and "said" is the most natural, unobtrusive thing to do, and it's the way the vast majority of authors write. In this case, since she's a published author, I have to assume she reads books but is doing this just to be different.

 

[StillStunned]

I don't understand why one would choose to write that way.

I can see a use for it if the listener can't see who's speaking, and has to identify them by voice, and particularly if there's more than one.

Otherwise, I'm at a loss.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I don't understand why one would choose to write that way.

People get so many strange ideas about how to write dialogue that it makes me wonder if they actually read books. Using "asked" and "said" is the most natural, unobtrusive thing to do, and it's the way the vast majority of authors write. In this case, since she's a published author, I have to assume she reads books but is doing this just to be different.

I'm wondering whether it's the author or some strangely zeolous editor. She's been writing for decades, top rated BBC crime drama, twenty plus novels. It's entirely possible they're ghosted, because I'm sure she used to be better.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

The second sentence above.

She has the line of dialogue, followed by quote This was Fred Blogs, doing blah blah blah end quote. I don't quite know how to quote it, without confusing the spoken sentence (which is as per usual) and the speech tag, which I've never seen before.

Trying again:


More usually, you'd write:

Yeah, that is awful.