Partners lack of adventure

[RoughPlay]

I think Woodcarver has the right idea.

> When you do approach her in a sexual tone...do so slowly.
> Massages are wonderful ice breakers.

> Make her the center of your needs. Approach her in a manner
> that lets her feel that she is the most important thing in
> the universe at that time. Flowers, candles, a nice wine and
> lots of romantic whisperings.

I believe most women will want to have sex provided they are
treated the right way. Treat them the wrong way and after a
while they will lose interest in sex and become more and more
resistant to it.

Most important of all is that she feels loved as opposed to
feeling like a sex object. Give her constant affection,
tenderness, care, kindness, respect, consideration, etc and
after a few months I think most women will regain their interest
in sex avoiding the need for a painful and expensive divorce.

 

[DuckLover]

Knight's Raven-- first thank you for sharing your story. Between you and Mstrskey, I think we've seen deeply into two common thought processes, which is very educational for us all.

Second, the scenario you created for your wife sounds sublime! (I hope you don't mind if I copy several elements at some point.) It's possible that stopping after the massage, as you suggested, might have been beneficial, but I certainly understand why you didn't. It's possible her thinking was "This was all so wonderful, loving, and perfect...but it was just an elaborate manipulation to get sex." I realize it's a lot of effort and planning, but you might try something similar again but force yourself NOT to have sex afterwards. (Unless she totally jumps you, that is.)

Third. you mentioned that you both have talked about the sexual "pressure" in your relationship and that it only made things more awkward. It might be time to consider some couples counseling. When a previous gf and I had similar problems (sex once a month at best) we went for some counseling, and it definitely helped. Your company's Employee Assistance Program should cover it.

Lastly, you stated;

"I am a bit at a loss to figure out the love part when I am taking her from behind with her thrusting back at me moaning 'fuck me, fuck me, oh shit I love getting fucked and feeling your balls slap against my clit' "

I think variety is important in a relationship, and in the bedroom. There may be 3 types or levels of intercourse-- 1) making love, 2) having sex, and 3) fucking.

Love-making is very emotional; it's about love. Usually face-to-face positions are used. It's often slower, with lots of eye contact. This is intercourse when it's truly intimate. You are with your WIFE, connecting with each other as deeply and completely as possible. You may feel like less of a physical being and more of an energy one, merging with her into one entity.

Having sex may be more for fun, more experimental. You're still connected to each other but not so deeply. It may also occur when one of you is merely accomodating the other and not really in the mood. (i.e. She's having sex; you're just laying there.)

Fucking is physical. It's about getting off. Love is not really part of the picture. Often, the fact that your partner is your WIFE is secondary; you're gettin' laid. Period. (Granted, you might abhor the idea of fucking anyone else, but for the moment, the focus is on fucking.) This kind of intercourse is what you described above. It's what you described when she "let's go" and gets "slutty."

None of the above are inherently bad. In fact, I believe it's important to include all three in your life.

I wish you luck and urge you not to give up. Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss anything I've said and would rather not do so publicly.

 

[illinois_guy2]

crazybbwgirl wrote:
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geesh! All that housekeeping just for sex? Boy I've been playing this game wrong for years! Do you mean if I'd just say no once in awhile some guy will clean my house AND use a coaster! I agree with Chele - why are all the non-sexual girls married to horny dogs and those of us who love sex are starving.........
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Starving, huh? I'd love to help you satisfy that hunger.



Ladies.....

Sounds like house work makes for great foreplay!!

I'd be more than happy to was some dishes or vacuum some floors for you!!