Petty Pet Peeves

[XerXesXu]

One of the greatest disappointments of cohabitation was discovering how unpleasant showering together is if you get cold easily. I have been dreaming for decades about having a shower with multiple shower heads.

That clammy fucking shower curtain touching your leg. It's harder to avoid when there are two people.

And slipping while in flagrante could be career-ending.

Shower stalls: maybe
Showering in a tub: I don't love anyone enough to risk it again and probably never will

That's why I keep an inflatable mattress in the wet-room. I do enjoy a soapy.

 

[liliput1]

Microwave some alcohol wipes then. Avoid the shower entirely.

Mmm, decon gel...

 

[designatedvictim]

I'm of the opinion that breasts can be too big. Bigger isn't always better. It's the same for penises. The size often described in stories on here would not be enjoyable for most women. They'd be very uncomfortable, if not outright in pain.

I'll simply say, here, that the opinion of large breasts of the MMC in my story Figure Study with my Sister may, in fact, be shared by its author:

Unfortunately, once boobs reach a certain critical mass, though, their shapes start to irrevocably diverge from what I consider attractive. And, like the few larger breasts I’ve ever met, hers had large, almost dominating areolae that lack any semblance of visual appeal to me.

 

[WittyUserName]

I'll simply say, here, that the opinion of large breasts of the MMC in my story Figure Study with my Sister may, in fact, be shared by its author:

Good line. Critical mass. I dated a girl that was... well endowed. They were about as big as I'd like. Any bigger and they'd seem unnatural.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I seriously want autocorrect from two years ago back again.

Today autocorrect twisted what was meant to be ‘obviously’ into ‘concubine.’ Only me, right?

 

[PennyThompson]

Today autocorrect twisted what was meant to be ‘obviously’ into ‘concubine.’ Only me, right?

You concubine have a harem fantasy that you haven't written about yet, Ms. Miller

 

[EmilyMiller]

You concubine have a harem fantasy that you haven't written about yet, Ms. Miller

Yeah - #NotMyKink

 

[EmilyMiller]

Yeah - #NotMyKink

The funny thing, is I think concubine appears in only one of my stories. A character describes my she-demon’s mom as the royal concubine. Don’t think I use it anywhere else.

 

[DTales]

It's not something I ever saw myself being into, but some of these futanari erotica writers are low-key cooking with their stories.

I hope you're talking about me... but I sort of doubt it.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Today autocorrect twisted what was meant to be ‘obviously’ into ‘concubine.’ Only me, right?

When your autocorrect knows you better than you do...

 

[BikiniBawdy]

Don't ASK me if you have to wear a condom. Wait for me to TELL you.

 

[EmilyMiller]

When your autocorrect knows you better than you do...

Yeah - crazy, right?

 

[BikiniBawdy]

Yeah - crazy, right?

My ducking autocorrect is full of shirt.

 

[EmilyMiller]

My ducking autocorrect is full of shirt.

Year - I’ve made this joke before, but mine is the Würste.

 

[JTass]

I haven't seen this one recently, but a few years back there were a bunch of stories that used 'viola' instead of 'voilà'. That one set my teeth on edge.

Honorable mention to discreet/discrete also.

 

[JTass]

A couple more, now that I think about it...

"Peaked my interest"
Breath instead of breathe
Loose instead of lose (or vice versa)
queue instead of cue
viscous instead of vicious
defiantly instead of definitely
referring to a male practitioner of massage as a masseuse (the correct term is masseur)*
Champaign (city in Illinois) instead of Champagne (bubbly wine/region of France)

*updated to include NuclearFairy's feedback that some massage therapists object to being called a masseuse/masseur

 

[Seurat]

Dear autocorrect: It is never duck. Never.

 

[NuclearFairy]

referring to a male massage therapist as a masseuse (the correct term is masseur)

Or getting a massage therapist mixed up with a masseuse/masseur. Cause not all masseuses and masseurs are massage therapists. Even though all massage therapists could technically be called a masseuse or masseur. Most won't appreciate it if you do though.

 

[JTass]

Or getting a massage therapist mixed up with a masseuse/masseur. Cause not all masseuses and masseurs are massage therapists. Even though all massage therapists could technically be called a masseuse or masseur. Most won't appreciate it if you do though.

ummm... I've been to massage school and have several friends and one relative who are massage therapists. Only one massage therapist that I've ever met objected to being called a masseur, and that only because he was an Eastern medicine specialist (shiatsu/acupuncture/reiki).

Edited to add - Other than the fact that it is an outdated gendered term.

 

[NuclearFairy]

ummm... I've been to massage school and have several friends and one relative who are massage therapists. Only one massage therapist that I've ever met objected to being called a masseur, and that only because he was an Eastern medicine specialist (shiatsu/acupuncture/reiki).

Most of my teachers objected to it quite strongly. The only two who didn't were the one who was a medical doctor first and the one who also had a PhD in kinesiology. It's probably largely dependent on the culture in the area.

 

[JTass]

On the subject of autocorrect - why is it that my (Android) autocorrect can correctly recognize 'wakizashi' and 'Chewbacca', but constantly screws up 'we're' and 'he'll/she'll'?

 

[Kelliezgirl]

On the subject of autocorrect - why is it that my (Android) autocorrect can correctly recognize 'wakizashi' and 'Chewbacca', but constantly screws up 'we're' and 'he'll/she'll'?

Probably says more about the user than the phone...

 

[JTass]

Probably says more about the user than the phone...

Damn straight!

I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world and let my freak flag fly!

 

[Britva415]

"Peaked my interest"

"peak" down her shirt/up his shorts

 

[liliput1]

"peak" down her shirt/up his shorts

While the term 'queued up' makes sense for Englishmen, that's not usually what we have cued up.