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Petty Pet Peeves

Won of my biggest petty pet peeves is voice to text. If you have an accent, the text can be quite humorous. Also the voice two text homophones make me chuckle.
 
Maybe unpopular one...but Apple watches. Like you have a phone in your pocket and are like "too inconvenient, I need another one on my wrist!"
 
liliput1 said:
Those small continuity breaks and physics-defying acrobatics in otherwise brilliant writing that leave you muttering a bit.

I will offer two:

I know my neck is a little stiffer than most people's, but french kissing your partner in the middle of hands-on-hips doggy style? Have I seen that on pornhub? Yes. Was the bottom an ex gymnast or yoga expert? Also yes. Every single time.

The author chooses a Big/little pairing and forgets partway through that one partner is over a foot taller than the other and therefore in a 69 some things will be out of reach. Unless it's really, really long. Which they haven't mentioned so far.

Given the title, please feel free to go downhill from here. Those are just the two I thought of and today I am in the mood for alliteration.
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When the guy's dick is 'as thick as a coke can.' No, it fucking isn't. I don't know how that same description got in so many stories. Oh, and the obsession with making boobs as big as possible. She doesn't need to have ZZ breasts to be hot.
 
WittyUserName said:
When the guy's dick is 'as thick as a coke can.' No, it fucking isn't. I don't know how that same description got in so many stories. Oh, and the obsession with making boobs as big as possible. She doesn't need to have ZZ breasts to be hot.
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Maybe it's as thick as one of those mini cans. Which are still pretty thick as far as penises go, but not as unbelievably so.
 
WittyUserName said:
When the guy's dick is 'as thick as a coke can.' No, it fucking isn't. I don't know how that same description got in so many stories. Oh, and the obsession with making boobs as big as possible. She doesn't need to have ZZ breasts to be hot.
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Westley had the right of it. “There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. ‘Twould be a pity to damage yours.”

With the exception of Monica Bellucci nearly all of my favorite women have been B cups. And everyone loves her so does that even count?
 
NuclearFairy said:
Maybe it's as thick as one of those mini cans. Which are still pretty thick as far as penises go, but not as unbelievably so.
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Been a while since I've seen one of those mini cans. I'll have to remember to look at how thick they are when I get a chance. Probably a lot thicker than me.
 
liliput1 said:
Westley had the right of it. “There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. ‘Twould be a pity to damage yours.”

With the exception of Monica Bellucci nearly all of my favorite women have been B cups. And everyone loves her so does that even count?
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I'm of the opinion that breasts can be too big. Bigger isn't always better. It's the same for penises. The size often described in stories on here would not be enjoyable for most women. They'd be very uncomfortable, if not outright in pain.
 
WittyUserName said:
I'm of the opinion that breasts can be too big. Bigger isn't always better. It's the same for penises. The size often described in stories on here would not be enjoyable for most women. They'd be very uncomfortable, if not outright in pain.
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Having a 9 incher means having most girls tell you get that thing away from me. And that after you’ve already been on a handful of dates only to be rejected when you’re half undressed.

Found out one guy in a road trip was this big when the girls started explaining to his serious (previously virgin) GF that bleeding every time was not normal. After many questions they found out why.

There’s a woman who does a bit on YouTube involving a tape measure. And laughing once it got past 8.

The one partner for whom I was for sure deeper than her, she didn’t mind in the least. But some women apparently mind an awful lot. Emphasis on awful.
 
WittyUserName said:
I'm of the opinion that breasts can be too big. Bigger isn't always better. It's the same for penises. The size often described in stories on here would not be enjoyable for most women. They'd be very uncomfortable, if not outright in pain.
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So what you're saying is women don't like being ripped in half by a dick the girth of a tree trunk that could go all the way through them, nor boobs so big they require a forklift and pounds of opium a day to get through the back pain?

Huh.
 
anthrodisiac said:
So what you're saying is women don't like being ripped in half by a dick the girth of a tree trunk that could go all the way through them, nor boobs so big they require a forklift and pounds of opium a day to get through the back pain?

Huh.
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I’ve said before I know two women who have had reduction surgery, and you’d think they both found Jesus, if you just swapped the nouns.
 
NuclearFairy said:
Probably! Since they're only half the size of a regular can.
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I've had a character fantasize about getting fucked by a Coke can, and then immediately amending to one of Red Bull, instead. (two-thirds the diameter but taller...)

Only one woman with really big breasts. Her girlfriend muses that she hadn't known previously that an M cup existed.
 
anthrodisiac said:
So what you're saying is women don't like being ripped in half by a dick the girth of a tree trunk that could go all the way through them, nor boobs so big they require a forklift and pounds of opium a day to get through the back pain?

Huh.
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As a man, it is not my place to say what women do or don't like.. that said, yes. That's what I'm saying.
 
anthrodisiac said:
Sorry, MOST women. There's probably a few out there who don't mind being split up the middle by a battering ram or having boobs that disrupt tidal forces on Earth.
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Again, not to kink shame size queens...

I always figured the fake dating app 'tumescent' on Ted Lasso is where all of the people with a problem and a solution to that problem found each other, as it were.
WittyUserName said:
Remember; what is terrifying to one person is something another person paid good money for.
Click to expand...

"You've paid for that?"

"No, of course not. <pregnant pause> Been paid."
 
One of the greatest disappointments of cohabitation was discovering how unpleasant showering together is if you get cold easily. I have been dreaming for decades about having a shower with multiple shower heads.

That clammy fucking shower curtain touching your leg. It's harder to avoid when there are two people.

And slipping while in flagrante could be career-ending.

Shower stalls: maybe
Showering in a tub: I don't love anyone enough to risk it again and probably never will
 
liliput1 said:
One of the greatest disappointments of cohabitation was discovering how unpleasant showering together is if you get cold easily. I have been dreaming for decades about having a shower with multiple shower heads.

That clammy fucking shower curtain touching your leg. It's harder to avoid when there are two people.

And slipping while in flagrante could be career-ending.

Shower stalls: maybe
Showering in a tub: I don't love anyone enough to risk it again and probably never will
Click to expand...
Shower mats, all I'm saying.
 
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