Petty Pet Peeves

[Stanfield2025]

It's not something I ever saw myself being into, but some of these futanari erotica writers are low-key cooking with their stories.

 

[liliput1]

Also cuttlefishes seem to be "cuddlefishes" which maybe is a plot bunny...

 

[anthrodisiac]

Also cuttlefishes seem to be "cuddlefishes" which maybe is a plot bunny...

I have this joke planned for the cuttlefish chapter of my series, to help put the MC at ease about being [spoiler].

 

[liliput1]

I have this joke planned for the cuttlefish chapter of my series, to help put the MC at ease about being [spoiler].

What's a little tetrodotoxin between friends?

 

[anthrodisiac]

What's a little tetrodotoxin between friends?

Fatal.

 

[liliput1]

Fatal.

Those Japanese epicures who die from blowfish sushi every year? Turns out the dish when prepared 'properly' doesn't have no tetrodotoxin it in, instead it has just enough to make your lips tingly. The skill is not in removing the gland without spilling any of the contents. It's in removing the gland without spilling almost any of its contents.

 

[kathyisgr65]

Those small continuity breaks and physics-defying acrobatics in otherwise brilliant writing that leave you muttering a bit.

I will offer two:

I know my neck is a little stiffer than most people's, but french kissing your partner in the middle of hands-on-hips doggy style? Have I seen that on pornhub? Yes. Was the bottom an ex gymnast or yoga expert? Also yes. Every single time.

The author chooses a Big/little pairing and forgets partway through that one partner is over a foot taller than the other and therefore in a 69 some things will be out of reach. Unless it's really, really long. Which they haven't mentioned so far.

Given the title, please feel free to go downhill from here. Those are just the two I thought of and today I am in the mood for alliteration.

Cliffs notes please
Im intrigued and pretty sure I wanna contribute
But im confused and see making a big ol ass outta myself instead

 

[anthrodisiac]

Those Japanese epicures who die from blowfish sushi every year? Turns out the dish when prepared 'properly' doesn't have no tetrodotoxin it in, instead it has just enough to make your lips tingly. The skill is not in removing the gland without spilling any of the contents. It's in removing the gland without spilling almost any of its contents.

Turns out it's helpful to be careful when preparing deadly toxins. I'm shocked, shocked, I tell you!

 

[liliput1]

Cliffs notes please
Im intrigued and pretty sure I wanna contribute
But im confused and see making a big ol ass outta myself instead

In movies you have the continuity person, the intimacy coordinator, and the fight choreographer who all try to make sure the scenes make sense to the audience. None of those people show up for a story written for free. So it's kinda a dick move to get mad about the problems but it's also kinda funny to note the small ones that rank an eyeroll.

I think mostly anonymous (no name and shame) is the way to go here, so nobody feels called out.

It's also I hope things people can keep an eye out for when editing their stories.

And the Text To Speech thing started with a couple of mood-breaking mispronunciations and has taken on a life of its own.

 

[kathyisgr65]

In movies you have the continuity person, the intimacy coordinator, and the fight choreographer who all try to make sure the scenes make sense to the audience. None of those people show up for a story written for free. So it's kinda a dick move to get mad about the problems but it's also kinda funny to note the small ones that rank an eyeroll.

I think mostly anonymous (no name and shame) is the way to go here, so nobody feels called out.

It's also I hope things people can keep an eye out for when editing their stories.

And the Text To Speech thing started with a couple of mood-breaking mispronunciations and has taken on a life of its own.

U know... that last sentence made everything make sense..ok..ty for ur time

 

[TheLobster]

I read a story recently where a couple went on a walk through the city, then the guy gave the girl a foot massage as soon as they got back to his place.

I'm still not sure if the lady was walking through the city barefoot or if she kicked off her shoes when the author wasn't looking.

Maybe they were hobbits.

 

[liliput1]

Maybe they were hobbits.

Rosie Cotton

If ever I were to marry someone, it would have been her. It would have been her.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Um, what is sin? Sin to one is another's day in the office for many.

If getting straight cis men interested in futanari erotica is a sin, I will face the throne of God and walk backwards into hell!

 

[peregrinecat]

Those small continuity breaks and physics-defying acrobatics in otherwise brilliant writing that leave you muttering a bit.

idk, for me part of the fun of writing out my fantasies is I don't have to worry about those pesky bodily limitations

I definitely understand how it can take someone out of it though.

A big pet peeve for me, erotic writing or not, is should of/would of/could of. I had a friend who was literally an English major who did that.

Or "be who of you" instead of "behooves you"

 

[TheLobster]

Or "be who of you" instead of "behooves you"

You may find the BoneAppleTea subreddit relevant to your interests.

 

[liliput1]

Surprisingly frequent conjugation errors for the past tense of many English verbs. To the point I looked it up one day thinking maybe there's some Commonwealth country that uses eg 'digged' instead of 'dug', 'winded' instead of 'wound' and I'm just being an American. Couldn't find any.

 

[peregrinecat]

You may find the BoneAppleTea subreddit relevant to your interests.

OH NO I ALSO HATE THAT ONE

 

[BeechLeaf]

Surprisingly frequent conjugation errors for the past tense of many English verbs. To the point I looked it up one day thinking maybe there's some Commonwealth country that uses eg 'digged' instead of 'dug', 'winded' instead of 'wound' and I'm just being an American. Couldn't find any.

Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf,
Witch’s mummy, maw and gulf
Of the ravined salt-sea shark,
Root of hemlock digged i’ th’ dark,

 

[cameddie]

I'll add mirrors as a shorthand way to have an excuse to have someone describe their physique in detail.

 

[liliput1]

I'll add mirrors as a shorthand way to have an excuse to have someone describe their physique in detail.

I do appreciate it when we at least have a device that makes the character explaining how they look actually feel a bit organic. For instance, dressing for a party, and/or wearing an outfit that's a bit out of their comfort zone.

(I'm not a big boobs guy but I understand that a lot are, so lines like the following work for a lot of readers)

I usually hide them under comfortable clothes, but this dress with the built-in shelf bra put the girls center stage, somehow showing lots of cleavage but not making me worry I am in danger of popping out at the first errant sneeze or energetic dance move.

Something about favorite heels because they make her calves and ass look just the way she imagines men like. Then a complaint about them being completely impractical and she better get laid tonight or there'll be hell to pay.

I know I'm being pandered to, but at least I feel like they are trying not to be crass about it. I'm reading erotica of course there's pandering.

 

[liliput1]

Note to authors:

Everyone can tell when two people have been fucking in a moderately to poorly ventilated room. Sometimes for a while afterward. Pretending not to notice is a choice. But you can have them bring it up later in a conversation.

 

[anthrodisiac]

I do appreciate it when we at least have a device that makes the character explaining how they look actually feel a bit organic. For instance, dressing for a party, and/or wearing an outfit that's a bit out of their comfort zone.

Literally kinda did this, dressing for a big date, trying to figure out which outfit matches my feather pattern, is cute, trying to get the right vibe as a way of comparing/contrasting facial/bodily features, interwoven with worldbuilding, character profiling, anxiety, anxiety, anxiety, dorkiness, and more anxiety.

 

[liliput1]

Literally kinda did this, dressing for a big date, trying to figure out which outfit matches my feather pattern, is cute, trying to get the right vibe as a way of comparing/contrasting facial/bodily features, interwoven with worldbuilding, character profiling, anxiety, anxiety, anxiety, dorkiness, and more anxiety.

The humblebrag.

 

[anthrodisiac]

The humblebrag.

I didn't say I did it well, I just said I did it I think I pulled it off, but I could be way off base about how much anxiety people like in their humorous dorky dino breeding smut.

 

[liliput1]

I didn't say I did it well, I just said I did it I think I pulled it off, but I could be way off base about how much anxiety people like in their humorous dorky dino breeding smut.

No! I mean the humblebrag by the character. I look good in this, if I do say so myself.