Pleasing your partner...

[JustKjell]

Here's a question for (mostly) sub women here:

If your Master expect you to do something that's a tad above your limit do you a) do it anyway because it pleases your master or b) call out your safeword?

Just curious...

 

[bethany_s]

It's been some years ago since I was in that type of relationship, but depended how over the limit it was. We talked a lot about what was ok and not before we ever started doing anything, so it wasn't too many times it ever came up. I usually went along with it if it was just a little over my limit so it wouldn't break the mood and to please him also, but then we talked about it later. Sometimes I ended up liking it more than I expected.

 

[AlwaysInTrouble]

I've always found the use of hard and soft limits with my Subs to be effective in delineating the "push me harder, Sir" from the "<insert Safe Word here>" .

 

[xxkimberlyv]

I agree with @bethany_s . If it's not too far over the limits I went ahead and tried it. I've really always had the mindset of trying something because I may enjoy it. Very rarely did I not enjoy it and in that case the safe word stopped things. Communication is definitely important

 

[emme8]

This depends on the partner. Will they be there with you to deal with any potential consequences? Why are they pushing? Are they just trying to be a jerk to push a limit for fun or caught up in the moment so things go a bit further? What limit are they pushing?

Talk about it AND consider it a huge orange flag. At least IMHO that the partner is pushing limits mid-scene.

Talk about it again. Establish hard limits, softer limits, ways to let the partner know you are approaching a limit without stopping the scene.

 

[SPARTAN047]

That's very interesting, I figured most women and men will do it if it's not a hard limit.

 

[Exploringwife46]

There are a lot of varaibles surrounding when a safe word is used by me. The main one being the bond that i have with that Dominant. I try very hard not to use a safe word especially if we have gone over limits properly. Soft limits are usually on the table if I have a really strong bond with the Man. I find i gain the strength from His inspiration to overcome any conflicting emotions associated with the desired kink.

I often wonder if using a safe word on a soft limit could be considered topping?

 

[Dearelliot]

There are a lot of varaibles surrounding when a safe word is used by me. The main one being the bond that i have with that Dominant. I try very hard not to use a safe word especially if we have gone over limits properly. Soft limits are usually on the table if I have a really strong bond with the Man. I find i gain the strength from His inspiration to overcome any conflicting emotions associated with the desired kink.

I often wonder if using a safe word on a soft limit could be considered topping?

I agree, as a sub male My Mistresses decide how far to go, not me. I expect them to push the envelope so as to frighten me and hurt me more than I like... but listen to my pleading and recognize when to slow down or stop.

 

[varv]

if the master is truly yours, and you have full mutual respect, then he himself knows WITHOUT WORDS when it is advisable to stop, in order to preserve your relationship and respect. And you, in turn, are able to let him know YOURSELF whether you want to go further, or this is your limit.