Question for Submissives...

[masterslave00]

Oh I like when it carries into public

We both do - she went as far as making me cum in my pants in a posh restaurant...

 

[Utmale48]

Oh I like when it carries into public

Are you the 24/7 sub type? Just curious.

 

[merrilylirrem]

Are you the 24/7 sub type? Just curious.

Not 24/7. Mostly just at home but I also like that public display from time to time

 

[Utmale48]

Not 24/7. Mostly just at home but I also like that public display from time to time

Gotcha. Makes perfect sense. Thank you.

 

[Utmale48]

Not 24/7. Mostly just at home but I also like that public display from time to time

Another question if I may. How tall are you? It says in your bio you’re tall.

 

[Utmale48]

I will admit that I have newly discovered the sub side of myself (female, 28), but I’ll tell you what made me embrace it… the concept of being free.

I have a high profile job where I am in charge of people, a budget in the millions, and making decisions that require fast action. Basically my entire “normal” life is me making choices and being in charge. Having someone take the reins from me, even for a few hours, is such a release. Giving up that control feels safe if you have a trusting relationship with your dom. A lot of communication is required for it to be successful. But it feels good when it works.

Our relationship is mostly online, but I fell easily into the role with him. Even small choices like whether or not I should make time to eat breakfast were taken off my plate when I was told to go eat breakfast and send pictures. I don’t expect him to make all of my decisions for me, always. But when our time overlaps and there is an opportunity, I always appreciate him when he does.

I am so happy that you found that side of yourself that makes you so happy. Congrats. And it sounds like you have a good Daddy to help you navigate these waters. That’s very important.

 

[SissySalina]

1. Does your BDSM lifestyle ever leave the bedroom into your day-to-day, or do you keep them separate? i.e., being told what to wear, what to eat, etc.

Yes, it is a 24/7 or full time lifestyle. Sometimes She will direct sissy as to what to wear and diet, sissy must pass a requirement on weight and figure or be placed on a strict diet until the requirements are met. There are occasions when She directs sissy on what sissy is to wear for an event or evening.



2. What are some things that your Dom does or tells you to do that arouses you? This can be sexual/nonsexual. Even just the small things.

It excites sissy when She directs sissy to take care of Her personnel hygiene, such as bathing Her or cleaning Her after She has a date.



3. Did you always know you were a submissive, or was there a lifestyle change that affected you?

When it came to women sissy has basically always been submissive, mother was a strong dominant as sissy now realizes.



4. What part of being a sub excites you the most?

Being able to make Her proud of sissy for doing all She request sissy to do.



5. Does your dom punish you for transgressions? And if so, do you ever try to get 'punished' or is it something you actively avoid?

Yes She does. It was something sissy desired in the beginning of the BDSM relationship so sissy did misbehave to get Her attention but not sissy has settled into the lifestyle and knows that She love sissy so it is rare now.

 

[Havanawang]

Oh another question I'd like to add for any subs reading this. For me, I can totally understand the satisfaction of being the one in control, but the appeal of surrendering yourself to a dom, is a little harder for me to grasp.

4. What part of being a sub excites you the most?

Side note: There is no need to answer all four questions. If you would prefer to just answer one or some, that would be very much appreciated as well

 

[Havanawang]

I am so happy that you found that side of yourself that makes you so happy. Congrats. And it sounds like you have a good Daddy to help you navigate these waters. That’s very important.

Yes the free feeling when shoveling snow from Master driveway or doing Master dishes or being whip with my knees on Master wife's vanity bench and mouth on the dildo stuck to the floor or opening my mouth to show Master come before swallowing and opening mouth to show empty or when doing the best deep throat when Master allow lesson from one of his friends thank you I never Been here before

 

[Erosfan]

We both do - she went as far as making me cum in my pants in a posh restaurant...

I would love to hear more about this. Cumming in a restaurant is a huge fantasy of mine. I've never considered cumming in my pants. That would be fun, and others will likely notice the wet spot. Exciting!

 

[MiaBabe23]

Hi, not sure if this is the correct place to ask this. I'm trying to write a new series—this one is in the BDSM category—and I have little actual knowledge of BDSM outside of literature unfortunately, but I do really want to get into the genre. It's going to be told from the 3rd person POV of a bratty sub [huge influencer]—used to having control—who doesn't realize she is a submissive until she meets a Dom through her DMs.

Being that I am neither a sub nor female, I had a few questions to try and get into her mindset before I write my story. Hoping any IRL subs, male/female, out there can help me. I hope I don't offend anyone with these questions. Just trying to learn. Thanks!

1. Does your BDSM lifestyle ever leave the bedroom into your day-to-day, or do you keep them separate? i.e., being told what to wear, what to eat, etc.​

2. What are some things that your Dom does or tells you to do that arouses you? This can be sexual/nonsexual. Even just the small things.​

3. Did you always know you were a submissive, or was there a lifestyle change that affected you?​

New Question: Do your Doms punish you for disobeying/not following their instructions, and if so do you ever purposely try to break rules because you enjoy the punishments?

[4/24] update
Are most people in the BDSM category/forum in Literotica mainly just interested in femdom/malesub? It seems like 70-80% of the submissions, especially the ones that do well, are of that category.

[3/16] update
Edit for clarification: By "does your BDSM lifestyle leave the bedroom" I also include things like is your dom still dominant towards you in public. I.e maybe they are stern with you, or they tell you not to bite your nails or order your food for you etc.

Also a big thank you to everyone who shared their experiences. It's been very helpful. I think I have enough info to finish at least the first chapter, but I will probably pop on in future to add more questions if I hit a block, every now and then.

I won’t offer my thoughts since my experience has only been online, and you have plenty to draw on already - but I would be interested in being a beta reader to give my sense of authenticity, etc if you’ve not got enough yet. Sounds like an interesting way to start to explore bdsm

 

[crazyness1]

I've actually already begun writing and parts 1-4 have already been published, but I'd really love to have a beta-reader to check over my ongoing work. I'm currently working on part 5 of the series, and it's going to be a bit on the longer side so I'd really appreciate your thoughts on it once I've finished.

 

[lowcollar]

1. Mostly separate. If I am an all day slave, it bleeds into the kitchen, yard work, bathroom cleaning etc.
2. Spits at me, calls me names like whore, cunt etc, Makes me admit the feminine role play that I love, tells me to suck her cock or eat my cum. Pisses on me or in my mouth. Is dismissive. Spanks, sounds, pegs me. Grabs my nuts and squeezes or pulls downward. Makes me beg to be fucked. Most of all when she fists my asshole.
3. I became a submissive the first time I was spanked and pegged. From that point on, I craved it.

 

[kellyt1994]

Hi, not sure if this is the correct place to ask this. I'm trying to write a new series—this one is in the BDSM category—and I have little actual knowledge of BDSM outside of literature unfortunately, but I do really want to get into the genre. It's going to be told from the 3rd person POV of a bratty sub [huge influencer]—used to having control—who doesn't realize she is a submissive until she meets a Dom through her DMs.

Being that I am neither a sub nor female, I had a few questions to try and get into her mindset before I write my story. Hoping any IRL subs, male/female, out there can help me. I hope I don't offend anyone with these questions. Just trying to learn. Thanks!

1. Does your BDSM lifestyle ever leave the bedroom into your day-to-day, or do you keep them separate? i.e., being told what to wear, what to eat, etc.​

2. What are some things that your Dom does or tells you to do that arouses you? This can be sexual/nonsexual. Even just the small things.​

3. Did you always know you were a submissive, or was there a lifestyle change that affected you?​

New Question: Do your Doms punish you for disobeying/not following their instructions, and if so do you ever purposely try to break rules because you enjoy the punishments?

[4/24] update
Are most people in the BDSM category/forum in Literotica mainly just interested in femdom/malesub? It seems like 70-80% of the submissions, especially the ones that do well, are of that category.

[3/16] update
Edit for clarification: By "does your BDSM lifestyle leave the bedroom" I also include things like is your dom still dominant towards you in public. I.e maybe they are stern with you, or they tell you not to bite your nails or order your food for you etc.

Also a big thank you to everyone who shared their experiences. It's been very helpful. I think I have enough info to finish at least the first chapter, but I will probably pop on in future to add more questions if I hit a block, every now and then.

 

[kellyt1994]

Sorry, I was trying to quote and reply to a couple of specific questions. Still learning to operate the site.

As to BDSM ever leaving the bedroom I might be a bad example but on my own I've always been a train wreck. I do so much better, I AM so much better, with the right person running my life. I can't even spell impulshe kontrole. But I am very obedient. To the right person. And at times in the past to very, very wrong people. But I do think I've gotten better at picking.

And as to deliberately getting in trouble to get punished, oh yeah. Not breaking the rules so much as a sassy mouth. Some people call that topping from the bottom and think it's just so, so terrible. But I think most Dominants like a little sass from someone they're allowed to discipline. But I once got a shattered eye socket from a guy who didn't. But like I said, I've gotten better at picking.

 

[ChicagoR85]

Sorry, I was trying to quote and reply to a couple of specific questions. Still learning to operate the site.

As to BDSM ever leaving the bedroom I might be a bad example but on my own I've always been a train wreck. I do so much better, I AM so much better, with the right person running my life. I can't even spell impulshe kontrole. But I am very obedient. To the right person. And at times in the past to very, very wrong people. But I do think I've gotten better at picking.

And as to deliberately getting in trouble to get punished, oh yeah. Not breaking the rules so much as a sassy mouth. Some people call that topping from the bottom and think it's just so, so terrible. But I think most Dominants like a little sass from someone they're allowed to discipline. But I once got a shattered eye socket from a guy who didn't. But like I said, I've gotten better at picking.

@kellyt1994 Sad to hear men out there exist! Ur glad you are past that phase…. Experience makes us all wiser!

 

[WetSubGirl]

She was a smart, intelligence, sexy and clever woman. She knew what I liked and what would intrigue me, but also what would get under may skin. Example, Starbucks: I hate coffee yet there I was getting coffee at 6 am and it was freezing cold. Spanking? Withholding? Put me into chastity? Those paled to getting up and getting her a Coffee Gande. The punishments I got for teasing were far less "punishing" than when she was really upset. The thing is I really enjoyed serving her. For a while I made her life more enjoyable, taking the care out of "home life" so she could concentrate on her business and career. She knew it too. In the end, our D//s was less master/slave than Wonderful woman//helper-life improver-wife-cheerleader-supporter-playpartner.

You are describing a perfect relationship from a career-oriented woman's point of view.

 

[crazyness1]

And as to deliberately getting in trouble to get punished, oh yeah. Not breaking the rules so much as a sassy mouth. Some people call that topping from the bottom and think it's just so, so terrible. But I think most Dominants like a little sass from someone they're allowed to discipline. But I once got a shattered eye socket from a guy who didn't. But like I said, I've gotten better at picking.

Oh no. I'm so sorry to hear that! I'm glad you've got better at picking better partners and that you haven't given up on BDSM after a few bad experiences. "Not breaking the rules so much as a sassy mouth." - Yes! That sounds exactly like the personality I picked for my MC. She's meant to be kind of a limit tester, where she doesn't quite break rules but just pushes them to see what she can get away with. I'd imagine at least a few dominants would enjoy this though I can see if it's not for everyone.

Sorry I missed your message and for the super late reply. Thanks so much for sharing your own experiences!

 

[Erosfan]

1. Does your BDSM lifestyle ever leave the bedroom into your day-to-day, or do you keep them separate? i.e., being told what to wear, what to eat, etc.

I'm sent to work or the store or wherever my Domme wants me to go with my cage on. But aside from that, we don't have anything escape home.

2. What are some things that your Dom does or tells you to do that arouses you? This can be sexual/nonsexual. Even just the small things.

When she truly takes control, when I see it in her eyes, feel it in her voice, that is more powerful than anything. When I feel what it's turning her on, how she treats me, it drives me insane.

From a sexual standpoint, we explore a lot. Depends on our mood and how far she wants to push me. She's so intoxicatingly sexy and beautiful.

From a non sexual standpoint, when she gets frustrated and I can't help but think, "I want her to take that frustration and use it on me." Not that I frustrate her on purpose. I don't think I have that much. But yeah. It's so hot.

I could talk about what she does that's so hot for days....

3. Did you always know you were a submissive, or was there a lifestyle change that affected you?

No. I'm very much not submissive in my every day life, from work to relationships with friends, and family, to anything I really do. She has been the only person to take me. She has been the only person that gets to see this certain side of me.

"No. I'm very much not submissive in my every day life, from work to relationships with friends, and family, to anything I really do. She has been the only person to take me. She has been the only person that gets to see this certain side of me."

1. Does your BDSM lifestyle ever leave the bedroom into your day-to-day, or do you keep them separate? i.e., being told what to wear, what to eat, etc.

I'm sent to work or the store or wherever my Domme wants me to go with my cage on. But aside from that, we don't have anything escape home.

2. What are some things that your Dom does or tells you to do that arouses you? This can be sexual/nonsexual. Even just the small things.

When she truly takes control, when I see it in her eyes, feel it in her voice, that is more powerful than anything. When I feel what it's turning her on, how she treats me, it drives me insane.

From a sexual standpoint, we explore a lot. Depends on our mood and how far she wants to push me. She's so intoxicatingly sexy and beautiful.

From a non sexual standpoint, when she gets frustrated and I can't help but think, "I want her to take that frustration and use it on me." Not that I frustrate her on purpose. I don't think I have that much. But yeah. It's so hot.

I could talk about what she does that's so hot for days....

3. Did you always know you were a submissive, or was there a lifestyle change that affected you?

No. I'm very much not submissive in my every day life, from work to relationships with friends, and family, to anything I really do. She has been the only person to take me. She has been the only person that gets to see this certain side of me.

"No. I'm very much not submissive in my every day life, from work to relationships with friends, and family, to anything I really do. She has been the only person to take me. She has been the only person that gets to see this certain side of me."

You have described me perfectly, in this sentence. One difference, I always wanted her to show her control of me to a couple of her friends. Neither of us wanted to share the other. This was to feed the CFNM aspect of our relationship. We never did go there.

 

[Venefica]

1. Does your BDSM lifestyle ever leave the bedroom into your day-to-day, or do you keep them separate? i.e., being told what to wear, what to eat, etc.

No, only in the bedroom.

2. What are some things that your Dom does or tells you to do that arouses you? This can be sexual/nonsexual. Even just the small things.

A certain gaze on me, that I fascinates him, that my sexdive fascinates him. that he want using me

3. Did you always know you were a submissive, or was there a lifestyle change that affected you?

I had always those fanatsies and a certain event triggered that my husband and me openly discussed our needs.

New Question: Do your Doms punish you for disobeying/not following their instructions, and if so do you ever purposely try to break rules because you enjoy the punishments?

No, that is not part of our play

 

[kneelingmatt]

1. Does your BDSM lifestyle ever leave the bedroom into your day-to-day, or do you keep them separate? i.e., being told what to wear, what to eat, etc.

When I have been in them they do leave the bedroom. I cook, clean, do laundry and other chores, she has dictated what I was to wear. to an oursider it would just look like I was a gentleman always getting the door or carrying bags but she was in total control.

2. What are some things that your Dom does or tells you to do that arouses you? This can be sexual/nonsexual. Even just the small things.

When she is confident and in control it is arousing to me. could be just a look she give me that brings me to my knees.


3. Did you always know you were a submissive, or was there a lifestyle change that affected you? I have always known

New Question: Do your Doms punish you for disobeying/not following their instructions, and if so do you ever purposely try to break rules because you enjoy the punishments?

I try not to break rules. I just love to please and want her to be happy.

 

[amx99]

I am a male sub but I will give my take on this anyway
1- It depends on the person really, for me I like it inside and outside the bedroom. for the top to have a total control over my life. this arouses me just as the sexual acts themselves
2- Anything that shows control over me, could be as little as get them a glass of water, so its mainly about taking control and humiliation
3- I have always known

 

[kneelingagain]

1. Does your BDSM lifestyle ever leave the bedroom into your day-to-day, or do you keep them separate? i.e., being told what to wear, what to eat, etc.

yes, the control continued in at least some small way. sometimes subtle but even small things would reinforce the dynamic. to other people it might not have looked like much but sometimes it was deeply arousing

2. What are some things that your Dom does or tells you to do that arouses you? This can be sexual/nonsexual. Even just the small things.

small things with control, a glance across the table at a restaurant when we're out with friends that makes me know i will not be having any of the birthday cake. being praised quietly in public was also another.

3. Did you always know you were a submissive, or was there a lifestyle change that affected you?

i had urges and things but i didn't know about D/s. later when i found out about it and what it all meant then things in my past and how i felt before, why i did certain things, that all became clearer.

New Question: Do your Doms punish you for disobeying/not following their instructions, and if so do you ever purposely try to break rules because you enjoy the punishments?

i'm too obedient to try to break rules. i would always obey but there were times when it was difficult and i knew i was set up to fail

these answers are based on my past experiences. i'm not with a Domme now

 

[griff5499]

Oh another question I'd like to add for any subs reading this. For me, I can totally understand the satisfaction of being the one in control, but the appeal of surrendering yourself to a dom, is a little harder for me to grasp.

4. What part of being a sub excites you the most?

Side note: There is no need to answer all four questions. If you would prefer to just answer one or some, that would be very much appreciated as well. I'd love to hear from y'all.

Submissive here. I love being Submissive because it makes me feel good that I can give sexual gratification to a man. I just feel complete when a dom uses me for his pleasure is a turn on!

 

[Venefica]

I think it's a bit paradoxical.

It adds an element of danger. I don't know what he will do or what will happen. On the other hand, I know he would never do anything I really didn't want him to do. This combination creates a deep and very true feeling of connection. Knowing that he does not abuse his power is deeply arousing and strengthening our connection.

I do things that "normal" women don't, and he loves me for it — another thrill for me.