Puns

[SirConradPeckereye]

What do call Sheep rolling down a hill?

A Lamb Slide

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

 

[Condor4]

Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon
10,000 vaults went up its arse
And turned its wool to nylon.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

BREAKING NEWS!

Engineers have just made a car that can run on parsley…
Now they're hoping to make buses that run on thyme!

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

There are quite a few angry men cursing looking for those!

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

I'm pablano gonna miss the target laughing too hard (you WISH you could get rid of me that easily )

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

We must first cabbage our heads and pray for her safety

 

[PlanetaryNebula]

BREAKING NEWS!

Engineers have just made a car that can run on parsley…
Now they're hoping to make buses that run on thyme!

SHUT UP!

 

[Whitneysub]

 

[investor2020]

A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, you’re in here a lot, are you an alcoholic?”

The horse ponders for a minute then responds “I don’t think I am.” And poof, he disappears.

This is where philosophy students start to snicker, as they’re familiar with Descartes’ famous postulate, “I think, therefore I am.” But telling you that first would be putting Descartes before the horse.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

SHUT UP!

You really don't want that

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Christian Bale

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

French kiss

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says “The Titanic is syncing.”

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation. It doesn’t make any cents

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

 

[SirConradPeckereye]