I'm going through something like this myself. I won't go into details but... I've tried talking and maybe I was too vague but he was pretty vague back.
This is why I can't do casual.
Complimentary and funny I can do
Very well put, you aren’t just TnA, you’re a person with wants and needs and worth. If you’re going to give yourself to someone they need to do the same. I couldn’t really do casual for the same reason. I want all of her, not just her body.This is why I can't do casual.
Sometimes you just gotta tell it like it is and see what happens. Clear boundaries in these situations are really important, imo. But, if you're feeling used I think you need to pay attention to that feeling.
We all deserve someone who makes us feel special. Even in a casual thing. You're giving your time and body to someone. They better recognize what a gift that is or they can just fuck right off. In my opinion.
It's so frustrating isn't it.
On Lit, I am trying to learn to be casual, but so far, I haven't had any luck. Part is fear of rejection, of course. But I still haven't learned it yet. There is someone I did reach out to, and we click very well, but because of important reasons, it would have to be nothing more than light and casual. Which we both found, very early on, was not something our particular chemistry would allow -- we responded strongly to each other. (My quote was, "what I really want to do is find you, put my teeth to the side of your throat, and claim you as mine." She had similar thoughts.) But deciding that together, and early, saved a lot of pain and frustration later. But that level of communication, especially here, seems rare.
Amen.We all deserve someone who makes us feel special. Even in a casual thing. You're giving your time and body to someone. They better recognize what a gift that is or they can just fuck right off. In my opinion.
This resonates with me so much. I don't want someone messing up my life. For the most part I'm good all by myself. I just want occasional company and someone to tire me out in bed.It's so frustrating isn't it.
I don't want a full relationship. I don't want to see them every day or move them in.
I want an actual friend I can sleep with regularly. I want to feel valued as a complete person too.
But I know I'd probably be like @Thirsty_Hellcat_J and fall head over heels for the next person to be nice to me
The fact that you both recognised that you'd need more from each other than was possible is really good.
Is it really so much to ask?
Actually, it feels healthy and adult. Alright, a little...pent-up, but healthy and adult as well. And I need that.
That was the other consideration--that we might physically wear each other out of existence...
It shouldn't be too much to ask...
I didn't know whether to heart react to your first comment or laugh react to your second!
Like I said earlier, I'm mostly ok. Just every now and then I wish I had moreIt shouldn't be too much to ask...
And I don't think there's a worse feeling than loneliness. I'm sorry you're feeling that way.
https://media3.giphy.com/media/kjw12qFNXa6C2loJTT/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952shcr1ztfb4mhyn428ec3y567cy05bf7tc4ha0lnd&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g
I am a year out of a 29 year marriage of which about 40% was "good." The last seven or so years were nothing but a partnership of convenience to supply my daughter a stable place to grow up, which we succeeded. I would sacrifice anything for her, and I believe it was worth it. It was.
A familiar theme ...Like I said earlier, I'm mostly ok. Just every now and then I wish I had more
But thank you
It seems this is a very common want. So why is it so hard to find?
Allot of philosophers psychologists and influencers have put forth ideas. Most i personally don't agree with. But one common thread has appeared at least for me. When one or both take a "selfish" approach the enjoyment leaves real quick.
I have been single for 8 years. One casual thing two years ago - we met up twice - and now this guy that I haven't seen in a year (it's a whole saga)
I think because as we get older we know what we want and we're willing to wait to get it. Not that it's fun to wait and be lonely at times but letting someone into our lives means sacrificing that hard earned peace so the guy better be fucking amazing. Idk. I haven't met a man I'd be willing to sacrifice my peace for.
That's definitely true.
And there is the rub. I have loved getting to know you, and you are a wonderful, loving, caring woman who adores her kid. I learned all of that before I saw you had a lovely face to go with it. You deserve to be happy, and cherished, and respected, and loved. We all do.
I'm just gonna say this and go hide behind the shed. You should never be required to sacrifice your peace for anyone at anytime. There should be someone who cherishes your peace and that you have that peace as much as you do.
You're all beautiful.
I very much identify with this. As people get older they usually become more self-assured - more at ease with and understanding of who they are, and also less eager to please and less willing to make bad choices for short-term reasons.
