WantonWitch
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bashfull said:
Most definitely YES !!! I married my romantic bad boy..... was with him 22 years
Romance vs. Raunch
- Thread starter bashfull
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Most definitely YES !!! I married my romantic bad boy..... was with him 22 years
WantonWitch
The Devils own lil' Angel
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bashfull said:then you both were truly lucky, darlin'.
I know..... I was very lucky and even knowing now how soon it would end, I'd still do it again
WantonWitch
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bashfull said:
You can hug me anytime Bash
cyikac1986
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bashfull said:Carpe Diem...or better yet, Carpe Bashfull!!
only if invited...
cyikac1986
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Originally Posted by bashfull
Is it possible for a man to be both a gentleman and the "bad boy" that women want him to be? Can there coexist romance and raunch?
I would have to say why not? Women for centuries have been expected to be ladies in the parlour and bad girls in the bedroom. we all playact in our lives everyday...whether due to our jobs, our homes, our life.Maybe there is a bit of bad in all of us, yearning to see the light of day, and yet we are afraid to let it lose because caging it up again may prove too difficult.
What is romance without a bit of raunch thrown in..whispered words of endearment with just enough spice to heighten the flavor, a gentle caress the ends in a demanding kiss, lovemaking that erupts in a firely passion without boundaries.
Is it possible for a man to be both a gentleman and the "bad boy" that women want him to be? Can there coexist romance and raunch?
I would have to say why not? Women for centuries have been expected to be ladies in the parlour and bad girls in the bedroom. we all playact in our lives everyday...whether due to our jobs, our homes, our life.Maybe there is a bit of bad in all of us, yearning to see the light of day, and yet we are afraid to let it lose because caging it up again may prove too difficult.
What is romance without a bit of raunch thrown in..whispered words of endearment with just enough spice to heighten the flavor, a gentle caress the ends in a demanding kiss, lovemaking that erupts in a firely passion without boundaries.
cyikac1986
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bashfull said:
I am not sure that we do not appreciate romance, we are too afraid to accept it, to have a man who sweeps us off our feet, that instills a passion unlike any other, only to have the earth yanked out from under our feet because he was insincere. We are fed unrealistric expectations about what is romance, from dime store novels to love songs to perfum ads.
Add in the confusion that as women we are told we do not need a man to feel complete, that we need to be strong and stand on our own. So, is it any wonder that when faced with a man who does bring romance and firey passion, we not only do not trust him, we cannot trust ourselves.
bashfull
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cyikac1986 said:
You make an interesting point, darlin'. To quote "...only to have the earth yanked out from under our feet...". Why must one enter into a relationship, of any nature, with expectations? Why can one not just enjoy the moment with no agenda? This should be true of romance, sex, business, etc. One of the biggest mistakes I see people make in business is laying on their own veil of objectives rather than listening and letting conversation flow. I would argue the same is true for women regarding men. Too often have I heard women talk about "he's good looking, charming, a gentleman...he would make a great husband". Why assume, good or bad, in the beginning? Rather than assume an outcome, why not enjoy the journey and see where it takes you?
cyikac1986
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bashfull said:
And I could say that assumptions are made on both sides of the fence. Too often we judge others on appearances and social status. We ignore the person because the outer package does not meet our requirements (be it nationality, race, eye color, the car you drive.....).
I find men can be just as shallow as a woman. That if I, as a woman, were attracted to a man and offered a no strings attached relationship, he would wonder. I find there is nothing wrong with enjoying the moment because it is easy to seperate the physical from the emotional. You are right, it should be about where the journey leads and not a preconceived idea of the destination.
NorthernPA4U
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bashfull said:
Maybe it's because most women, like most business people, know that they ultimately desire a particular outcome, and do not have the time or resources to take a journey that does not lead to that outcome. It seems more realistic and honest for people to state their objectives right at the beginning. I could be wrong, because you are clearly being up front about things, but it almost sounds as you are advocating that people shouldn't worry about the ultimate destination at all. I think that's blaming the people who are clear about what they want for being victimized by people who were deceiving them.
NorthernPA4U
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Get the waders out here ...cyikac1986 said:
I don't think we can blame "society" for the choices we make. Harlequin romances have never been among the leaders in educational instruction manuals, from what I recall. I am no more willing to accept these excuses for lack of trust than I am likely to believe people fail to help crime victims because they believe some caped crusader or man of steel should have been there to come to the aide of their neighbor.
There are lots of good reasons we don't trust other people. The general background blatherings of society probably can't be included in that list. Let's take some personal responsibility for our choices.
I know in my case, I was relatively naive until I started getting hurt. That's why I don't trust people like I used to. the fact that the next person in line has to deal with it may not be fair, but that's tough, and that's the way life is. In some ways, self preservation is inherent in the human condition.
bashfull
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NorthernPA4U said:
An example...I know someone who felt passionate about another person (or claims she did), but entered the relationship thinking that it was doomed to end in disaster. Hence, the perception became reality. Her negativity determined her actions, which led to more negativity. Thinking she would "get burned", she consistently treated the guy just as she did every other guy, though he went out of his way to adore her. She never once made HIM feel special.
C~~thought you were on the road today? And yes, a guy might question why you would take such an action. But not all men are the same.
NortherPA4U~howdy. You are right that this usually an ultimate objective. But I see too many people defining the long term stategem rather than assimilating all the facets. Good business, like good relationships, may have an ultimate objective, but is done to the benefit of all parties involved. And how does one know what the benefits, to the other parties or to oneself, are until one takes the time to know and understand the other side?
virgin_not
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cyikac1986
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NorthernPA4U said:
Ah, but you have to admit that most people's conception of reality is shaped by what they see everyday and that includes what the media tells them is true. Trust me, I am in no way influenced by anything I chose not to be influenced by yet I work with many 20 somethings that are. Case in point... a co-worker's husband swore that the movie Talledega Nights had to be a biography of an actual driver and was a true story...otherwise why would real drivers appear in it. Many do not want to have to make choices, they want their choices dictated to them...so they drink the soda with the super model, or they smoke the cigarette that appears in that movie, or they buy the car because that cool actor drives it....
As to your trust issues...you have to do what is best for you, including being careful who you give it too. You are right about self preservation..sometimes it's the only way to sane in an otherwise insane world.
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bashfull
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Was just pondering this last night...and remembering. I know that romance and ruanch can coexist for decades because I've seen it.
I knew this couple once, both in their eighties. It was amazing to watch them together. They would always touch, look at each other longingly, and truly desired each other even after so many decades together.
I recall one time watching them in a room together. He had to leave. He leaned over to kiss her (passionately, I might add), tell her that he loved her and turned to go. As he turned away, she reached out and grabbed his butt! Then said that she was looking forward to later. Wow...that's how I want to grow old. Still chasing my woman around the house on my walker. And knowing that if I wasn't, she would be chasing me.
I knew this couple once, both in their eighties. It was amazing to watch them together. They would always touch, look at each other longingly, and truly desired each other even after so many decades together.
I recall one time watching them in a room together. He had to leave. He leaned over to kiss her (passionately, I might add), tell her that he loved her and turned to go. As he turned away, she reached out and grabbed his butt! Then said that she was looking forward to later. Wow...that's how I want to grow old. Still chasing my woman around the house on my walker. And knowing that if I wasn't, she would be chasing me.
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