Second Picture Post

[paula and bob]

beautiful

I liked all the pictures you posted. I really loved the KISS!!!! I hope to see more.

Bob

 

[heynow10]

Just went through your whole thread. Damn!! You look like a lot of fun. You are truly a woman of LIT.

 

[The_DangerKitty]

I love the pictures! The ones with you & your girlfriend make me envious!
D.K.

 

[tulsatwisters]

I love the pictures! The ones with you & your girlfriend make me envious!
D.K.

If we lived in the same area, the wicked things we could do together....
Tam

 

[wtf????]

If we lived in the same area, the wicked things we could do together....
Tam

I'd hope you tape the whole event if it was to happen.

 

[tulsatwisters]

The night before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, and God was it neat,
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.

The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook,
It was time for some nookie, by hook or by crook.

Mama in her teddy, and I in the nude,
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.

When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner and poor Mama went dry.

Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.

The moon on the crest of the snowman we built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and 8 mangy reindeer.

With a fat little driver half out of his sled,
A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.

Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite,
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.

Whoa Shit head, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.

Look out for the lamppost, and don't hit the tree,
Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.

They cleared the old lamppost; the tree got a rub,
Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.

And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.

I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.

His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,
He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.

"That was some brothel,” he said with a smile,
"The reindeer are pooped, so I'll just stay here a while."

He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink,
Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.

I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,
But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.

The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,
The next was a handgun, with a penis that spits.

A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find,
And a six pack of panties, the edible kind.

A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
And several other things I shouldn't even mention.

A fuck ring, a g-string, and all types of oil,
A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.

"This stuff isn’t for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit,
So I'll leave them here, and then I'll have to split."

He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
With one tiny butt plug left under his sleeve.

He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.

In time he was seated, took the reigns of his hitch,
Saying, "Take me home Rudolph, this nights been a BITCH!"

The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
"The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!"

 

[tulsatwisters]

Christmas Party

FROM Tam, Naughty Pictures Director
TO All Lit Members
DATE December 01, 2006
RE Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the Lit Christmas Party will take
place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function
room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of
drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...
feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if Lits CEO shows
up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm.
Exchange of gifts among Lit members can be done at that time;
however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts
easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for Lit members!
Lits CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Tam

 

[tulsatwisters]

FROM Tam, Naughty Pictures Director
TO All Lit Members
DATE December 01, 2006
RE Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the Lit Christmas Party will take
place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function
room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of
drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...
feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if Lits CEO shows
up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm.
Exchange of gifts among Lit members can be done at that time;
however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts
easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for Lit members!
Lits CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Tam

FROM Tam, Naughty Pictures Director
TO All Lit Members
DATE December 02, 2006
RE Christmas Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
Lit members. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday,
which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not
this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday
Party." The same policy applies to any other Lit Members who are
not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.
There will be no Christmas tree present. No, Christmas carols
sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy
now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Tam

 

[tulsatwisters]

FROM Tam, Naughty Pictures Director
TO All Lit Members
DATE December 02, 2006
RE Christmas Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
Lit members. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday,
which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not
this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday
Party." The same policy applies to any other Lit Members who are
not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.
There will be no Christmas tree present. No, Christmas carols
sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy
now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Tam

FROM Tam, Naughty Pictures Director
TO All Lit Members
DATE December 03, 2006
RE Christmas Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table .. you didn't sign your name. I'm
happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table
that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am
I supposed to handle this? Somebody?

 

[tulsatwisters]

FROM Tam, Naughty Pictures Director
TO All Lit Members
DATE December 03, 2006
RE Christmas Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table .. you didn't sign your name. I'm
happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table
that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am
I supposed to handle this? Somebody?

FROM Tam, Naughty Pictures Director
TO All Lit Members
DATE December 04, 2006
RE Christmas Party

Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed
since the Lit union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and
Lit executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

 

[tulsatwisters]

FROM Tam, Naughty Pictures Director
TO All Lit Members
DATE December 04, 2006
RE Christmas Party

Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed
since the Lit union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and
Lit executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

FROM Tam, Naughty Pictures Director
TO All Lit Members
DATE December 05, 2006
RE Christmas Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins
the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can
appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate
our Muslim Lit member beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off
on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package
everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will
that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers
to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get
the table closest to the rest rooms. Gays are allowed to sit with
each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each will
have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the
Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no
cross-dressing allowed though. We will have booster seats for short
people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We
cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those
people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh
fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No
Sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Tam

 

[tulsatwisters]

FROM Tam, Naughty Pictures Director
TO All Lit Members
DATE December 05, 2006
RE Christmas Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins
the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can
appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate
our Muslim Lit member beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off
on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package
everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will
that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers
to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get
the table closest to the rest rooms. Gays are allowed to sit with
each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each will
have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the
Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no
cross-dressing allowed though. We will have booster seats for short
people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We
cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those
people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh
fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No
Sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Tam

FROM Tam, Naughty Pictures Director
TO All Lit Members
DATE December 06, 2006
RE The F**king Holiday Party

Vegetarian pricks; I've had it with you people!!! We're going to
keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so
you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of
death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your fucking
salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have
feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them
scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all have a
rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die!

The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!

 

[tulsatwisters]

FROM Tam, Naughty Pictures Director
TO All Lit Members
DATE December 06, 2006
RE The F**king Holiday Party

Vegetarian pricks; I've had it with you people!!! We're going to
keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so
you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of
death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your fucking
salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have
feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them
scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all have a
rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die!

The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!

FROM RL, Acting Naughty Picture Director
DATE December 07, 2006
RE Tam and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Tam a speedy
recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the
meantime, Lit management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party
and give everyone free access to xxx nude pictures & free condoms the
afternoon of the 23rd.

Happy Holidays!

 

[BeefStick]

Holiday Party Posts

Now that's funny ... quite the sense of humor you have!

 

[cdn]

Ok, anybody know how to clean off my LCD screen?
Beautiful photos

Thought I would post a couple of me and L having a bit of fun!
Oh baby, oh baby!!!!!
Tam

 

[Glyndwr]

Hi Tam

You are naughty!!

Bend over while I spank you

 

[tulsatwisters]

Reindeer Facts

REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME....

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both
male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year,
male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter,
usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain
their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting
Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to
Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should've known -- ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass
man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and
not get lost.

Tam

 

[tulsatwisters]

Rudolph's Operation

Christmas was over. Santa and his reindeer finally had a chance to
rest. And they deserved it. They had done a good job.

Rudolph had a chance to do something he had wanted to do for a
long time. He made an appointment with a plastic surgeon because
he was so sensitive about his looks.

However, it wasn't his glowing proboscis that he wanted changed.
He was proud of his nose and the help he had given Santa because
of it. No, he was sensitive about his long ears which were much
more prominent than the ears of the average reindeer, or bear, for
that matter.

So one week after Christmas, he let the good doctor do the
reconstructive surgical procedure, and since that time, January
1st has been celebrated as... New Ears Day.

 

[tulsatwisters]

Hello

How is everyones Saturday going so far?

Thought I might post a few pics today.
Tam

 

[tulsatwisters]

Saturday

I have all my Christmas decorations up, at least inside the house. Still have some things to set up in the yard....

A couple of young guys are suppose to stop by today to put them up..

I have a ton of Christmas decorations, I just luv this Holiday Season
Tam

 

[tulsatwisters]

Santa's Pickup Lines

What might Santa use as a pick up LIne.... Hummmm.


10. Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?
9. Wanna see my 12-inch elf?
8. I`ve got something special in the sack for you!
7. Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?
6. I know when you`ve been bad or good--so let`s skip the small talk, sister!
5. Some of my best toys run on batteries... <wink wink>
4. Interested in seeing the "North Pole"? (Well, that`s what the Mrs. calls it.
3. I see you when you`re sleeping--and you don`t wear any underwear, do you?
2. Screw the "nice" list--I`ve got you on my "naughty" list!
1. Wanna join the "Mile High" club?

 

[tulsatwisters]

Another

Another peannut butter sandwich cookie...

 

[tathanboy]

Love the "flowery" wallpaper. Have you got Flowery underwear on I ask myself? Please post more soon

 

[Smoke Spliff]

.....

 

[tulsatwisters]

XMas Files

THE XMAS-FILES

57 ELM STREET
BETHLEHEM, PA.
11:51 P.M., DECEMBER 24TH


We're too late! It's already been here. Mulder, I hope you know what you're doing.

Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into a shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly;stockings hung
by the chimney, with care.

You really think someone's been here?

Someone, or something.

Mulder, over here -- it's a fruitcake.

Don't touch it! Those things can be lethal.

It's O.K. There's a note attached: "Gonna find out who's naughty and nice."

It's judging them, Scully. It's making a list.

Who? What are you talking about?

Ancient mythology tells of an obese humanoid entity that could travel at great speed in a craft powered by antlered servants. Once each year, near the winter solstice, this creature is said to descend from the heavens to reward its followers and punish disbelievers with jagged chunks of anthracite.

But that's legend, Mulder -- a story told by parents to frighten children. Surely you don't believe it?

Something was here tonight, Scully. Check out the bite marks on this gingerbread man. Whatever tore through this plate of cookies was massive -- and in a hurry.

It left crumbs everywhere. And look, Mulder, this milk glass has been completely drained.

It gorged itself, Scully. It fed without remorse.

But why would they leave it milk and cookies?

Appeasement. Tonight is the Eve, and nothing can stop its wielding.

But if this thing does exist, how did it get in? The doors and windows were locked. There's no sign of forced entry.

Unless I miss my guess, it came through the fireplace.

Wait a minute, Mulder. If you're saying some huge creature landed on the roof and came down this chimney! You're crazy. The flue is barely six inches wide. Nothing could get down there.

But what if it could alter its shape, move in all directions at once?

You mean, like a bowl full of jelly?

Exactly. Scully, I've never told anyone this, but when I was a child my home was visited. I saw the creature. It had long white shanks of fur surrounding its ruddy, misshapen head. Its bloated torso was red and white. I'll never forget the horror. I turned away, and when I looked back it had somehow taken on the facial features of my father.

Impossible.

I know what I saw. And that night it read my mind. It brought me a Mr. Potato Head, Scully. It knew that I wanted a Mr. Potato Head!

I'm sorry, Mulder, but you're asking me to disregard the laws of physics. You want me to believe in some supernatural being who soars across the skies and brings gifts to good little girls and boys. Listen to what you're saying. Do you understand the repercussions? If this gets out, they'll close the X-Files.

Scully, listen to me: It knows when you're sleeping. It knows when you're awake.

But we have no proof.

Last year, on this exact date, SETI radio telescopes detected bogeys in the airspace over twenty-seven states. The White House ordered a Condition Red.

But that was a meteor shower.

Officially. Two days ago, eight prized Scandinavian reindeer vanished from the National Zoo, in Washington, D.C. Nobody -- not even the zookeeper -- was told about it. The government doesn't want people to know about Project Kringle. They fear that if this thing is proved to exist the public will stop spending half
its annual income in a holiday shopping frenzy. Retail markets will collapse. Scully, they cannot let the world believe this creature lives. There's too much at stake. They'll do whatever it takes to insure another silent night.

Mulder, I ...

Sh-h-h. Do you hear what I hear?

On the roof. It sounds like a clatter.

The truth is up there. Let's see what's the matter.

Tune in next year to see what they found!