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Sexless Marriages

CurvyButterfly1978 said:
This thread is almost completely responsible for my new online sex life...so while I am sad from all of you...there are options out there. I'm single and was determined to do this "right" no cheating, very judgemental looking back now. Once I got over the "Attached" or "Married" label I have found some amazing new friends. You can decide on where that line in the sand is and seek out the intimacy from afar that you crave within those parameters. I have friends whose line is anything other than chatting here via messages, some who will do voice, and some who are full camera, some who operate my remote control toys. I enjoy them all, in different ways. Everyone deserves intimacy, affection, love in whatever form you can get it. Mine is all online for reasons...we make our own way. Good luck with whatever you decide. 😘
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Can't love this enough.
 
A week probably sexless - but still pursuing our sex life and had some lovely action over the last couple of weeks. Still giving the cock cage a go - she is sort of buying into it. One sex session a week ago followed by a hand job and 2 pussy licking times. This level of attension was completely unheard of for years... It is dying down a bit this week thought.
 
CurvyButterfly1978 said:
This thread is almost completely responsible for my new online sex life...so while I am sad from all of you...there are options out there. I'm single and was determined to do this "right" no cheating, very judgemental looking back now. Once I got over the "Attached" or "Married" label I have found some amazing new friends. You can decide on where that line in the sand is and seek out the intimacy from afar that you crave within those parameters. I have friends whose line is anything other than chatting here via messages, some who will do voice, and some who are full camera, some who operate my remote control toys. I enjoy them all, in different ways. Everyone deserves intimacy, affection, love in whatever form you can get it. Mine is all online for reasons...we make our own way. Good luck with whatever you decide. 😘
Click to expand...
It came down to one thing for me to do something about my sexless marriage. All my life I associated sex as a component of love. I never even considered separating the two, but my situation drove me to the doorstep and I sat back and gave it a realistic examination.
Then the idea took hold, and I decided for my mahood and sanity to "save myself". I opened up here on Lit after changing my mindset. My sex angel FWB contacted me and two humans trapped in sexless marriages pulled it off....love and sex are no longer fused together. We both still love our spouses, but found erotic comfort with each other that satisfies our needs. It has been liberating to say the least.
Nothing can take the place of physical erotic contact. The only drawback is RL getting in the way of our rendezvous schedule....thats it. Everyone here on this thread should consider getting out of the rut and maybe make some changes in how you perceive your situation.
Curvybutterfly...thank you for your contributions, and I am positive that those you help have a great appreciation of you.
 
For me the online only naughtiness has been enough, thus far, to relieve the dead bedroom.

I can explore with other like minded individuals and have some safe fun.

I do wonder if my honesty sometimes fucks me in this online arena.

I mean irl I am monogamous and never cheated nor do I think I ever would despite the lack of physical intimacy.

Online though I enjoy playing with several individuals and wonder if that puts me in a dim light with some.

Some of the reasons I don't wish to be totally exclusive in my online relationships...
Times zones, availability, different horniness levels, different kinks, etc
 
Commodore69 said:
Oh, and for those gentlemen with performance anxiety after being in a sexless marriage or relationship for so long and then finding themselves back out in the dating pool, they make meds for that. Talk to your doctor and they can make sure you are ready for action when the time comes. You may find that after you get your confidence in bed back, you don’t need them anymore. View attachment 2575199
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After 20 years of marriage, she fell out of love with me first. I think my "performance anxiety" was as much guilt (as though I was cheating) - we were living separately and she was already dating someone else but, as the divorce was in progress, we were still married. I would get hard but struggle to actually have sex as I'd lose my erection. I chatted to a friend who is a counsellor and she suggested meds (Viagra or similar). They definitely did the job and before long I found that I no longer needed them.
 
Well we've just been away on a two month holiday, which unfortunately my wife found exhausting. On the plus side, having not had sex since April, she initiated it twice on our trip. The first occasion was great, possibly because it was so unexpected, the second her back started hurting so didn't last long. However, she still has no sex drive, though she did say that she enjoyed it.
 
HampshireBoy said:
After 20 years of marriage, she fell out of love with me first. I think my "performance anxiety" was as much guilt (as though I was cheating) - we were living separately and she was already dating someone else but, as the divorce was in progress, we were still married. I would get hard but struggle to actually have sex as I'd lose my erection. I chatted to a friend who is a counsellor and she suggested meds (Viagra or similar). They definitely did the job and before long I found that I no longer needed them.
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I’m glad that worked for you. I have a similar problem I ejaculate whe semi hard. Haven’t gone to Dr since I’m not having sex what’s the point
 
gisade said:
I know its cliche but marriages require work, especially as we get older. A sexless marriage signal to me that one or both partner have given up
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Well sure I gave up wanting a physical relationship when I had to do ALL the initiating and really why would I want to fuck someone who isn't interested in sex anymore?

Reality is she turned asexual after menopause and there is not a thing I can do about that.
 
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