Sexless Marriages

[rmoreau671]

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

That's pretty much my problem too.

 

[DravenCrow13]

More like roommates no playfulness always initiating everything with wife

 

[stephen88]

More like roommates no playfulness always initiating everything with wife

Yes, I have made several "playful attempts. Yet, to no avail. And not just sexual advances, but romantic as well. Roommates that don't always get along. I imagine every couple has a time when there are terse words, difference in opinions, and a failure to communicate. But these days, there is often little or no reconciliation. The hard feelings grow, and the wedge drives deeper. Many others have drawn attention to monetary concerns being paramount to ending a marriage. There is that here. So, we remain roommates in an occasionally hostile, certain cool environment. I used to voice my thoughts and/or opinions. I no longer do so. It simply saves conversation and heated arguments.

 

[8inArchitect]

New here, to the forums, signed up to vent on this topic. Lets just jump into it, no filter, no bs.

I've been so frustrated lately, my SO is steadily increasing the time between sex. We're up to a month. I know for some thats a blessing, but I have such a high drive. I want 2-3x per week.

I am not sure the cause (she just says "were adults now") but I actually blame ozempic. When we met I was a little overweight, and now I'm back to my goal weight. I've always really been too big for her. She's a little filipina. When we started out, thats what she liked, she liked being stretched. She like being choked. She liked being pounded. We used to get high and eat pizza and fuck for hours. You know when you stretch a rubber band, it reaches a point where if it stretches anymore, it will snap? Thats what she felt like when I fucked her for the first few months.

But she loved it. She wanted it. Its been 5 years now and she finally adjusted to my girth. She still winces but only at first. Now the problem is length. I'm even longer now from weight loss, and I easily bottom out 3/4 of the way. I do try to be gentle, try to hold back on the last 2-3", but I'm still banging against her iud at times. I get carried away and hit too deep, and it makes her uterus cramp.

She suggested I wear a cockring of some type to shorten my length, like a bumper stop lol. I don't like the idea. Anything on my dick makes me soft instantly. Also, I like to fill her up. Its so satisfying. But after sex, she runs to the bathroom holder her stomach in moderate pain. Not serious pain but enough that I think it's like classical conditioning, if she always associates sex with pain, then she wants it less. At first early in the relationship, it was just borderline, meaning I bottom out a few times but not too bad. But now I've gained 2" from weight loss... so I'm looking great, feeling great... and too big for her.

But that's just the first half of the story. Thats just my theory on how this all started. The catalyst.

I think now it's evolved to be psychological, because I'm always the one pushing for sex, and now she likely sees it as a burden or a gift she can give out if she wants. Like she's doing me a favor, a favor on her terms, no compromise, no consideration of how rejection hurts me. I'd rather she thought of it as equal enjoyment like before.

So I'm going crazy doing so... but I've backed off.

My working theory to fix this is that I have to reframe the psychology. I have to rewrite the narrative to that of something she wants again. I have to tell her "no" next time she asks, act like I'm disinterested. Something isn't valuable thats forced on you. Those are the tactics of a shitty car salesman. She likes that I'm big. Or at least ... she used to. Hopefully she will again naturally, or whatever else attracted her to me will come back again if I give her room to breathe. Even pain can be a turn on if framed in the right context, in the right mood.

So I'm trying to make myself more desirable, do more chores, show off more muscles, but not ask for sex at all. I'm trying to make myself a rare gem she has to earn. It doesn't always work out, because I fold too easily in the very rare times she asks for sex, but I worry about long term. The distances between sex just keep expanding.

... Oh wait, I'm sorry, did I say when she rarely asks for sex? Ha. She doesn't even ask. She just turns over in bed once every 2-3 months and says "ok we can have sex now". Um what? In my head I think "fuck you, thats all I'm worth to you? Like a dog to be commanded?" but then I think fuck it. At least she still wants me.

Anyways, I'm rambling, but this is my struggle. No lie - i'm suffering real bad. I just want to pound some hot little pussy into the ground, deep and hard, for hours. It's like an urge. Like how some people want to bite cute puppies or something, you know? But they clench their jaw and pet them instead. I want to let loose so bad, but I clench my jaw and jack off when she's gone instead. Kinda pathetic.

I am still doing my best to hold back and distract myself.

If this keeps up though, sorry to say, I'm going to start cheating soon, and I'm not sure I'll even feel bad about it. I don't want to, but we aren't married yet and I can't live like this forever. I just can't. I'm an attractive, smart, successful 38 year old guy. This is like food for me. I'm starving. I feel disrespected. I feel hurt. I feel like trash when she turns me down. I don't think she understands that.

In the end I also recognize I'm putting so much pressure on her, she's not mean or vindictive intentionally. We have good times outside the bedroom. So... I just don't know what the fuck to do.

FUCK. Typing it all up makes me frustrated all over again lol. Oh well. I can only do my best, can't change her.

 

[turok20]

More like roommates no playfulness always initiating everything with wife

this is how i feel as well, she wont even hug or kiss me unless i do it and even then she seems more annoyed than anything

 

[TemptationTango]

New here, to the forums, signed up to vent on this topic. Lets just jump into it, no filter, no bs.

I've been so frustrated lately, my SO is steadily increasing the time between sex. We're up to a month. I know for some thats a blessing, but I have such a high drive. I want 2-3x per week.

I am not sure the cause (she just says "were adults now") but I actually blame ozempic. When we met I was a little overweight, and now I'm back to my goal weight. I've always really been too big for her. She's a little filipina. When we started out, thats what she liked, she liked being stretched. She like being choked. She liked being pounded. We used to get high and eat pizza and fuck for hours. You know when you stretch a rubber band, it reaches a point where if it stretches anymore, it will snap? Thats what she felt like when I fucked her for the first few months.

But she loved it. She wanted it. Its been 5 years now and she finally adjusted to my girth. She still winces but only at first. Now the problem is length. I'm even longer now from weight loss, and I easily bottom out 3/4 of the way. I do try to be gentle, try to hold back on the last 2-3", but I'm still banging against her iud at times. I get carried away and hit too deep, and it makes her uterus cramp.

She suggested I wear a cockring of some type to shorten my length, like a bumper stop lol. I don't like the idea. Anything on my dick makes me soft instantly. Also, I like to fill her up. Its so satisfying. But after sex, she runs to the bathroom holder her stomach in moderate pain. Not serious pain but enough that I think it's like classical conditioning, if she always associates sex with pain, then she wants it less. At first early in the relationship, it was just borderline, meaning I bottom out a few times but not too bad. But now I've gained 2" from weight loss... so I'm looking great, feeling great... and too big for her.

But that's just the first half of the story. Thats just my theory on how this all started. The catalyst.

I think now it's evolved to be psychological, because I'm always the one pushing for sex, and now she likely sees it as a burden or a gift she can give out if she wants. Like she's doing me a favor, a favor on her terms, no compromise, no consideration of how rejection hurts me. I'd rather she thought of it as equal enjoyment like before.

So I'm going crazy doing so... but I've backed off.

My working theory to fix this is that I have to reframe the psychology. I have to rewrite the narrative to that of something she wants again. I have to tell her "no" next time she asks, act like I'm disinterested. Something isn't valuable thats forced on you. Those are the tactics of a shitty car salesman. She likes that I'm big. Or at least ... she used to. Hopefully she will again naturally, or whatever else attracted her to me will come back again if I give her room to breathe. Even pain can be a turn on if framed in the right context, in the right mood.

So I'm trying to make myself more desirable, do more chores, show off more muscles, but not ask for sex at all. I'm trying to make myself a rare gem she has to earn. It doesn't always work out, because I fold too easily in the very rare times she asks for sex, but I worry about long term. The distances between sex just keep expanding.

... Oh wait, I'm sorry, did I say when she rarely asks for sex? Ha. She doesn't even ask. She just turns over in bed once every 2-3 months and says "ok we can have sex now". Um what? In my head I think "fuck you, thats all I'm worth to you? Like a dog to be commanded?" but then I think fuck it. At least she still wants me.

Anyways, I'm rambling, but this is my struggle. No lie - i'm suffering real bad. I just want to pound some hot little pussy into the ground, deep and hard, for hours. It's like an urge. Like how some people want to bite cute puppies or something, you know? But they clench their jaw and pet them instead. I want to let loose so bad, but I clench my jaw and jack off when she's gone instead. Kinda pathetic.

I am still doing my best to hold back and distract myself.

If this keeps up though, sorry to say, I'm going to start cheating soon, and I'm not sure I'll even feel bad about it. I don't want to, but we aren't married yet and I can't live like this forever. I just can't. I'm an attractive, smart, successful 38 year old guy. This is like food for me. I'm starving. I feel disrespected. I feel hurt. I feel like trash when she turns me down. I don't think she understands that.

In the end I also recognize I'm putting so much pressure on her, she's not mean or vindictive intentionally. We have good times outside the bedroom. So... I just don't know what the fuck to do.

FUCK. Typing it all up makes me frustrated all over again lol. Oh well. I can only do my best, can't change her.

Yep, since my wife is not interested, neither am I. That takes all the fun out of it.

 

[8inArchitect]

It absolutely does. Don't sell yourself short.

 

[CurvyButterfly1978]

This thread is almost completely responsible for my new online sex life...so while I am sad from all of you...there are options out there. I'm single and was determined to do this "right" no cheating, very judgemental looking back now. Once I got over the "Attached" or "Married" label I have found some amazing new friends. You can decide on where that line in the sand is and seek out the intimacy from afar that you crave within those parameters. I have friends whose line is anything other than chatting here via messages, some who will do voice, and some who are full camera, some who operate my remote control toys. I enjoy them all, in different ways. Everyone deserves intimacy, affection, love in whatever form you can get it. Mine is all online for reasons...we make our own way. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[8inArchitect]

This thread is almost completely responsible for my new online sex life...so while I am sad from all of you...there are options out there. I'm single and was determined to do this "right" no cheating, very judgemental looking back now. Once I got over the "Attached" or "Married" label I have found some amazing new friends. You can decide on where that line in the sand is and seek out the intimacy from afar that you crave within those parameters. I have friends whose line is anything other than chatting here via messages, some who will do voice, and some who are full camera, some who operate my remote control toys. I enjoy them all, in different ways. Everyone deserves intimacy, affection, love in whatever form you can get it. Mine is all online for reasons...we make our own way. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Some part of me hoped I'd find some hot little literary inclined, intelligent, and a bit slutty, maybe even married woman here to fuck. Pretty stupid of me. I'm starting to realize its mostly the desperate, ugly, and grossly disturbed wandering around these forums.

When I lived in Chicago I would absolutely go wild. Sleep with 2-3 women per week. I live in a small town by the lake now. Mostly just old, wealthy, retired, white haired ladies around here. Nobody worth my time.

Chatting? Voice? Camera? No offense but jesus christ just fucking kill me already. Might as well go fuck the vacuum.
It's not my style. Long distance isn't my style. Digital connection isn't my style. A real woman with her arms wrapped around me, kissing me deeply as she sits on my fat cock... THAT'S my style.

I can't even use dating apps or I'll get caught. And it's winter... at least in the summer I could ride my motorcycle or take a boat out and pretend like I'm going to pick up a bikini clad college slut.

Ah well. I just need to shift my focus on more positive things. Rumination is toxic.

 

[CurvyButterfly1978]

Not sure how to take this response...hope you did not mean to infer I was part of the "desperate, ugly, and grossly disturbed wandering around these forums." I will assume positive intent there.

It sounds like you know your line in the sand. It's in person. I hope you encounter a real life, literary inclined slut, maybe try a bookstore, erotic fiction section, with a blush on her face. You would be shocked what we are reading in our books these days...would make some Literotica stories look like the PG version. Good luck to you.

 

[CB109]

I have given relief to two married men whose wives won’t give them what they need.

Lucky guys!

This thread is almost completely responsible for my new online sex life...so while I am sad from all of you...there are options out there. I'm single and was determined to do this "right" no cheating, very judgemental looking back now. Once I got over the "Attached" or "Married" label I have found some amazing new friends. You can decide on where that line in the sand is and seek out the intimacy from afar that you crave within those parameters. I have friends whose line is anything other than chatting here via messages, some who will do voice, and some who are full camera, some who operate my remote control toys. I enjoy them all, in different ways. Everyone deserves intimacy, affection, love in whatever form you can get it. Mine is all online for reasons...we make our own way. Good luck with whatever you decide.

100% agree with this. After years of hoping my wife would come around, I tried to “do everything right” but then realized, she is the one choosing this, not me. I wish i didn’t have to but it’s really not cheating when she chooses celibacy

 

[Norfolkguy49]

This thread is almost completely responsible for my new online sex life...so while I am sad from all of you...there are options out there. I'm single and was determined to do this "right" no cheating, very judgemental looking back now. Once I got over the "Attached" or "Married" label I have found some amazing new friends. You can decide on where that line in the sand is and seek out the intimacy from afar that you crave within those parameters. I have friends whose line is anything other than chatting here via messages, some who will do voice, and some who are full camera, some who operate my remote control toys. I enjoy them all, in different ways. Everyone deserves intimacy, affection, love in whatever form you can get it. Mine is all online for reasons...we make our own way. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Love a friend like you xxx

 

[jlightfoot75]

This thread is almost completely responsible for my new online sex life...so while I am sad from all of you...there are options out there. I'm single and was determined to do this "right" no cheating, very judgemental looking back now. Once I got over the "Attached" or "Married" label I have found some amazing new friends. You can decide on where that line in the sand is and seek out the intimacy from afar that you crave within those parameters. I have friends whose line is anything other than chatting here via messages, some who will do voice, and some who are full camera, some who operate my remote control toys. I enjoy them all, in different ways. Everyone deserves intimacy, affection, love in whatever form you can get it. Mine is all online for reasons...we make our own way. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Lovely to hear something other than whinging in this thread I've met a number of lovely ladies on here myself and online play can be very gratifying. My own morality has changed a lot over the course of my life and I really don't judge peoples choices these days and I'm happy you have found pleasure and given it to so many men.

 

[Cultivateddesires]

I crave the endorphins of a message from a lovely lady. It has happened enough to keep me coming back and yet completely unsatisfied.

 

[AlanDavis767]

Hi,

Married bi guy from UK in a cuckold relationship.

I’ve been married to my wife, Shelley (Shell) for 30 years this October. 20 years of this have been sexless.

Essentially, the issue is that I have a small cock and Shell is (and always has been) a bit of a size queen.

Pretty much from day one (when we first met at 19) she teased me about the size of my cock and made it very clear that she was used to and liked big cocks.

We had a pretty unremarkable sex life for the first couple of years, unremarkable because I couldn’t satisfy her or make her cum from penetration and it dwindled from that.

Things got worse and worse, to the point that we almost split, until we discussed the option of Shell taking a lover.

20 years later and we haven’t regretted our decision once. Shell has taken countless lovers over the years and is fully satisfied. Our marriage is amazing and we are often referred to as ‘the perfect couple’ - if only people knew!

I’m no longer permitted to watch Shell with her lovers, or even see her naked, but she does occasionally still tell me about her adventures with her lovers. She continues to ridicule me about my penis size and how I will never get to see her naked again, but this all part of the fun of our relationship and what makes it work.

I’m allowed to cum around once a month (mainly for health reasons) and this can be through masturbation, with a dominatrix that Shell found for me, or with a couple of guys that Shell lets me see.

So, sexless? Yes, for me at least. But, I would y have it any other way.

 

[8inArchitect]

Not sure how to take this response...hope you did not mean to infer I was part of the "desperate, ugly, and grossly disturbed wandering around these forums." I will assume positive intent there.

It sounds like you know your line in the sand. It's in person. I hope you encounter a real life, literary inclined slut, maybe try a bookstore, erotic fiction section, with a blush on her face. You would be shocked what we are reading in our books these days...would make some Literotica stories look like the PG version. Good luck to you.

Not you, no definitely not. I don't want to single anyone out. Just saying in general there's a lot on here. Fakers and Scammers too. Etc etc.

Had a guy pretending to be a girl try to get my google for "pics" lmao. More likely to doxx and blackmail me.

 

[CurvyButterfly1978]

I get that...luckily a lot of people can attest I at least am who I say I am...they've seen pics of my cunt now as well as other things. But it is hard to take risks and trust. I love a voice or pic of something to hope they are representing themselves accurately as far as sex and age. I had a friend tell me about a blackmail, attempt, some people are motherfuckers. Hope you find intimacy and happiness.

 

[8inArchitect]

I get that...luckily a lot of people can attest I at least am who I say I am...they've seen pics of my cunt now as well as other things. But it is hard to take risks and trust. I love a voice or pic of something to hope they are representing themselves accurately as far as sex and age. I had a friend tell me about a blackmail, attempt, some people are motherfuckers. Hope you find intimacy and happiness.

well feel free to pm me some of those sometime I might not be able to fuck you but I'll jack off to your pics

 

[CurvyButterfly1978]

Babe, follow me, I posted a lot of pics...but sure, I'll send you a few special ones...are you an ass, tits, or cunt man?

 

[Norfolkguy49]

I get that...luckily a lot of people can attest I at least am who I say I am...they've seen pics of my cunt now as well as other things. But it is hard to take risks and trust. I love a voice or pic of something to hope they are representing themselves accurately as far as sex and age. I had a friend tell me about a blackmail, attempt, some people are motherfuckers. Hope you find intimacy and happiness.

That why I don't completely let go on here but I can't keep away and have fun . More than in real life

 

[Norfolkguy49]

Babe, follow me, I posted a lot of pics...but sure, I'll send you a few special ones...are you an ass, tits, or cunt man?

I'm a butterfly man xx yes pls

 

[Cultivateddesires]

One possible solution seems to be watching Trespasses on Channel 4. Certainly got my wife in the mood last night.

 

[Wolfie605]

Babe, follow me, I posted a lot of pics...but sure, I'll send you a few special ones...are you an ass, tits, or cunt man?

You are a Saint and a precious beautiful woman

 

[questquilya]

You are a Saint and a precious beautiful woman

This.

 

[Deepdesrp]

This thread is almost completely responsible for my new online sex life...so while I am sad from all of you...there are options out there. I'm single and was determined to do this "right" no cheating, very judgemental looking back now. Once I got over the "Attached" or "Married" label I have found some amazing new friends. You can decide on where that line in the sand is and seek out the intimacy from afar that you crave within those parameters. I have friends whose line is anything other than chatting here via messages, some who will do voice, and some who are full camera, some who operate my remote control toys. I enjoy them all, in different ways. Everyone deserves intimacy, affection, love in whatever form you can get it. Mine is all online for reasons...we make our own way. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I have had a wonderful online relationship - and it seems to have sparked some life in both our respective partners. Maybe they sensed something or it made us more confident to discuss stuff with our real life partners. It can help but you do need real intimacy. It's hard trying to negotiate your way out of a sexless marriage. I will let you know if I solve my predicament