Sexless Marriages

[Solsurfer]

I know how tough it is to have a different sex drive than your spouse. I’m at an 8 and she’s at a 4. It makes things difficult. Fun when we come together, but I need much more than she does.
Over the years, stress, kids, timing, etc. I get it.

 

[Mickyb9669]

Oh dear big vibrator needed.

A very big one or sneek a guy in hehe

 

[Mickyb9669]

That’s sad to hear. I think a horny pregnant woman is so sexy. I’m sorry he didn’t love you like you wanted.

He should love the sex with you no matter what.

 

[Trash_Panda_1994]

I know how tough it is to have a different sex drive than your spouse. I’m at an 8 and she’s at a 4. It makes things difficult. Fun when we come together, but I need much more than she does.
Over the years, stress, kids, timing, etc. I get it.

Sorry that you're in the same boat kinda. It's not a fun one to be in.

 

[Solsurfer]

Sorry that you're in the same boat kinda. It's not a fun one to be in.

Nope. Especially when I’m prone to seasickness. Lol!

 

[LMWM321]

There are a lot of reasons why a wife may lose interest in sex, not the least of which is she's married to a selfish lover, a guy who doesn't do his fare share of the chores or a guy who has given up on his own appearance and health.

BUT, if a guy is truly doing his level best to be an attentive husband, and a desirable lover, etc... then he might want to encourage his wife to see an endocrinologist, urologist or an Integrative Medicine Practitioner. Why? Because a sharp decline in sex drive can signal a steep drop in a very essential human hormone - namely, Testosterone. And contrary to popular belief, it is responsible for more than just libido, in both men and women.

Apart from dimishing libido, a below normal testosterone level in women can lead to osteoporosis, weight gain, decreased energy level, and cognitive decline, etc.. And while it’s true that T levels tend to be lower in menopausal women, they shouldn't totally bottom-out. For this reason, testosterone supplementation is routinely given to menopausal women in the UK and Australia. Again, for more reasons than just to buoy sex drive. It's to help these women to feel their best and to stave off other, more serious health problems as they age.

If your wife is stilll interested in sex but has lost sexual interest in YOU, then perhaps it's a YOU problem. But if she's lost interest in sex altogether, then it could be low Testosterone. Encourage her to see a doctor. And point out that it's about more than just sex.

 

[Trash_Panda_1994]

Nope. Especially when I’m prone to seasickness. Lol!

Eh just drink some rum and it'll pass. Maybe. Probably not.

 

[lumpyrutherford]

There's lots of reasons why a wife may lose interest in sex, not the least of which is she's married to a selfish lover, a guy who doesn't do his fare share of the chores or a guy who has given up on his own health, appearance, etc...

That could be for many, but not here.

BUT if a guy is truly doing his level best to be an attentive husband, and lover, etc... he might want to encourage his wife to see an endocrinologist or urologist to have her testosterone level checked. A sharp decline in sex drive can signal a steep drop in this very essential human hormone. And contrary to popular belief, it is responsible for more than just sex, in both men and women.

Good advice.

If your wife has lost her sexual interest in YOU, then perhaps it's a YOU problem.

That's a low blow, fella, and not totally accurate.

 

[lumpyrutherford]

It does indeed. Too bad there isn’t a forum outside of Lit where people could discuss with others in the same situation.

There are forums for sexless marriages, or use to be.
The MarriageBed DOT you know what used to have one I was active on.
Haven't been to the site in years. Use to post there.

LoveShack DOT was also good for relationships.

But doesn't matter anyway. Would wager most of those in the boat of long-term sexless marriages 10-15 years ago likely remain in the same situation, which also affects woman.

If one partner vetoes sex, that's the end of it. Not even God could end that.

 

[Mickyb9669]

Sorry that you're in the same boat kinda. It's not a fun one to be in.

Yep sad

 

[silky52]

There are forums for sexless marriages, or use to be.
The MarriageBed DOT you know what used to have one I was active on.
Haven't been to the site in years. Use to post there.

LoveShack DOT was also good for relationships.

But doesn't matter anyway. Would wager most of those in the boat of long-term sexless marriages 10-15 years ago likely remain in the same situation, which also affects woman.

If one partner vetoes sex, that's the end of it. Not even God could end that.

Yes, there are also gender specific groups on Facebook. I'm a member of one for women. The stories of some of the women are incredible and I don't mean menopause ladies, I mean young women at the beginning of their marriages... all so sad and demeaning. The key word IMHO is communication!! Although, from my own experience sometimes not even that doesn't helps and it becomes hard to go over the same ground time and time again...

 

[LMWM321]

"If your wife has lost her sexual interest in YOU, then perhaps it's a YOU problem."

That's a low blow, fella, and not totally accurate.

Sorry... I didn't mean it to be, and YES, it's not necessarily accurate. ..Which is why I said "perhaps"

I'm just encouraging people - men and women - to take a look at their own behaviors before blaming the lack of sex in their marriage entirely on their partner.

 

[lumpyrutherford]

If your wife has lost her sexual interest in YOU, then perhaps it's a YOU problem.

That's a low blow, fella, and not totally accurate.

Sorry... I didn't mean it to be, and YES, it's not necessarily accurate. ..Which is why I said "perhaps"

I'm just encouraging people - men and women - to take a look at their own behaviors before blaming the lack of sex in their marriage entirely on their partner.

Of course, I took that personally. Sorry. I apologize.
She probably has fallen out of love with me. Who knows.
But I know she has almost zero interest in anything sexual. Doubt there are others.

 

[WorkOutHardPlayHard]

I try to help sexless marriages by sexually satisfying married people.

 

[lumpyrutherford]

There's lots of reasons why a wife may lose interest in sex, not the least of which is she's married to a selfish lover,

I know I should keep trying, keep approaching, but it's discouraging when a guy gets shot-down each.and.every.time.
So he gives up.

In one of the sexless forums, this woman was all bitter and angry about her husband's lack of attention. In the thread, asked her don't you wanna try, try to change things, etc.
No, I don't, am so upset at his selfishness and ignoring me, she replied.

Now, after years of it, I can certainly see her side.
Am more of her mindset, sadly.

 

[lumpyrutherford]

I try to help sexless marriages by sexually satisfying married people.

You'll find many women in need in the Lit chat rooms. The Christian Wives room is full of unsatisfied ladies (and men).

 

[Trash_Panda_1994]

I know I should keep trying, keep approaching, but it's discouraging when a guy gets shot-down each.and.every.time.
So he gives up.

In one of the sexless forums, this woman was all bitter and angry about her husband's lack of attention. In the thread, asked her don't you wanna try, try to change things, etc.
No, I don't, am so upset at his selfishness and ignoring me, she replied.

Now, after years of it, I can certainly see her side.
Am more of her mindset, sadly.

Honestly it could also have been that she just got tired of trying. Explaining a problem to a partner than wasn't comprehending what she was saying.

That I can fully understand

 

[LMWM321]

I know I should keep trying, keep approaching, but it's discouraging when a guy gets shot-down each.and.every.time.
So he gives up.

So sorry to hear.

Was there a time when her libido was much higher? ..If so, then maybe this is one of those instance where the loss of interest in sex is a symptom of an underlying health condition. And if it is indeed a bottomed out testosterone level, well.... she stands to feel a whole lot healthier if she gets it addressed.

 

[BreedMySow314]

Pm me. I’ll breed her over and over again

Yes! Keep breeding my wife until she's pregnant!

 

[Mickyb9669]

It's a bit funny to me that even though the sex never got me off. The most worked up and horny I've been during my marriage was during my pregnancies.



Once month 3 hit he was pushing me off him and telling me to take care of it myself.



But now I just don't want to ask for sex that just going to end with me getting myself off when he's asleep.

Fuck what hormones do love

 

[Mickyb9669]

Thank you but I think it's just something that happens. Which is a shame because when it's good I do have a.more than healthy sex drive

 

[Mickyb9669]

Yes! Keep breeding my wife until she's pregnant!

Practice makes perfect, enjoy it

 

[Mickyb9669]

Practice makes perfect, enjoy it

Bets she loves it too

 

[lifeis2short2b]

It’s not sexless,but sex is number 42 on the things she would rather do.

Where for me sex is number 1 or 2 on my list.

Someone needs to help his wife knock things off her list to bring that number closer to his

 

[lumpyrutherford]

lumpyrutherford said:
I know I should keep trying, keep approaching, but it's discouraging when a guy gets shot-down each.and.every.time.
So he gives up.

So sorry to hear.

Was there a time when her libido was much higher? ..If so, then maybe this is one of those instance where the loss of interest in sex is a symptom of an underlying health condition. And if it is indeed a bottomed out testosterone level, well.... she stands to feel a whole lot healthier if she gets it addressed.

There was, when we dated in our LDR (2 hours drive away) on weekends.
One afternoon in a city known for cafes, arts and crafts, in the mountains, we took a break from the heat in the afternoon and returned to the hotel to make passionate love.
Was the best sex I ever had, and told her. She still remembers that.

We stopped having sex about 6 mos before our wedding (well, mostly hehe), recommended by her Catholic church premarital counseling (all the couples admitted they were).
After we married, we had sex but it was never anything like before.