Sexless Marriages

[razor33a]

In my case it was no sex, period.

 

[stephen88]

I think when talking about sexless marriages we are not getting the whole picture from posters. I think each person has a "cause" for there sexless marriage. What I am curious about is how many have just sex ? How many miss actually making love ?

Speaking for myself. There is no making love, no sex, no intimacy. There is conversation, but it avoids certain subjects.

 

[Woodygreens]

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

Absolutely share your problem. Love my wife to bits but she quite openly says it's done. I'm 56. I'm wanking like a 15 year old.

 

[PapaRomantic]

Absolutely share your problem. Love my wife to bits but she quite openly says it's done. I'm 56. I'm wanking like a 15 year old.

You mean like an 18 year old?

 

[quotetheravennevermore]

Had the wife tell me the other night after 2 yrs of begging and getting shot down to stop asking, because she’s not interested and it wasn’t gonna happen! Does that count as sexless?

 

[Olderwiserstillhorny]

I think when talking about sexless marriages we are not getting the whole picture from posters. I think each person has a "cause" for there sexless marriage. What I am curious about is how many have just sex ? How many miss actually making love ?

Very good point, often overlooked.
Gotta be more than the physical act, emotional need also.

 

[Deepdesrp]

If you look back far enough there will be posts covering this. A bit of a read now its at least 219 pages. Just goes to show how big a subject this is.

It has to be a discussion as there are so many different situations.

Mine I think was reasonably common - we as a couple were not in a bad state, operating to keep everything going, still talking to each other - but sexually stale with me being the driving force to want sex.

And this is where the conversation gets diverse - I believe I'm in a common area but there are some wonderful women on here with the same situation that their husbands / partner doesn't have the want for sex. And lots of other situations.

I agree with Olderwiserstillhorny statement that it isn't just the act of sex it's the general touch and feel of being together. When you are in the cycle of one wanting sex and the other not bothered the touch / feel and time for each other is probably not there eaither.

To Bore the hell out of you I can waffle some more.

I tried to work this out and talk about it with my wife and kept getting to the same dead end most times. So like some here I continued looking on line and measuring our situation with others. I tried one last avenue after reading a chastity blog. Unlike some blogs this wasn't focused on the femdom kink (well not as much) but more about the male / female imbalance.

So my scenario is focused on male wanting sex female not (so not everyones situation)

The general theory is that due to several reasons of being busy / stress / being used to each other the need can drop and the male gets frustrated that sex doesn't appear to be a thing anymore. He is then in the situation of wanting what he can't get - the one pushing and asking for it and your partner in the role of rejecting you which makes it worse,

The short term and quickest way forwards is then solo masturbation. That makes this whole thing worse as you are now in less sexual contact and creating yet more space between you and your partner.

I was at that point - wanking whenever I had private time and looking at porn more. (dirty old man )
Our discussions weren't great either as she didn't want to hear about out sexual side of the relationship. The theory was according to the blog for the male to slow down on orgasms and consider their partner and match libido's.

Ok but how the hell could I communicate that in anyway. I went nuclear - bought a cock cage - tried it on. Then texted my wife about what I had done and what I was feeling. That was the important bit make sure that you put your feelings. In my case I still loved her and wanted our relationship to work. This message and action shocked her - but caused conversation - broke us out of this cycle. She felt incredibly uncomfortable discussing it - but I pointed out that was part of our situation - we need to be able to talk we are married so can share stuff.

I can go on - but after some thinking time she has opened up and we are in a better place. I think she now feels she can talk about sex - something she hasn't done or really thought about openly for years.

I hope my waffle helps - but the task will be finding ways to get your partner to recognise that this is a 2 way thing and you can be a couple again. It didn't work for me for a good decade but just to show there is sometimes light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Olderwiserstillhorny]

If you look back far enough there will be posts covering this. A bit of a read now its at least 219 pages. Just goes to show how big a subject this is.

It has to be a discussion as there are so many different situations.

Mine I think was reasonably common - we as a couple were not in a bad state, operating to keep everything going, still talking to each other - but sexually stale with me being the driving force to want sex.

And this is where the conversation gets diverse - I believe I'm in a common area but there are some wonderful women on here with the same situation that their husbands / partner doesn't have the want for sex. And lots of other situations.

I agree with Olderwiserstillhorny statement that it isn't just the act of sex it's the general touch and feel of being together. When you are in the cycle of one wanting sex and the other not bothered the touch / feel and time for each other is probably not there eaither.

To Bore the hell out of you I can waffle some more.

I tried to work this out and talk about it with my wife and kept getting to the same dead end most times. So like some here I continued looking on line and measuring our situation with others. I tried one last avenue after reading a chastity blog. Unlike some blogs this wasn't focused on the femdom kink (well not as much) but more about the male / female imbalance.

So my scenario is focused on male wanting sex female not (so not everyones situation)

The general theory is that due to several reasons of being busy / stress / being used to each other the need can drop and the male gets frustrated that sex doesn't appear to be a thing anymore. He is then in the situation of wanting what he can't get - the one pushing and asking for it and your partner in the role of rejecting you which makes it worse,

The short term and quickest way forwards is then solo masturbation. That makes this whole thing worse as you are now in less sexual contact and creating yet more space between you and your partner.

I was at that point - wanking whenever I had private time and looking at porn more. (dirty old man )
Our discussions weren't great either as she didn't want to hear about out sexual side of the relationship. The theory was according to the blog for the male to slow down on orgasms and consider their partner and match libido's.

Ok but how the hell could I communicate that in anyway. I went nuclear - bought a cock cage - tried it on. Then texted my wife about what I had done and what I was feeling. That was the important bit make sure that you put your feelings. In my case I still loved her and wanted our relationship to work. This message and action shocked her - but caused conversation - broke us out of this cycle. She felt incredibly uncomfortable discussing it - but I pointed out that was part of our situation - we need to be able to talk we are married so can share stuff.

I can go on - but after some thinking time she has opened up and we are in a better place. I think she now feels she can talk about sex - something she hasn't done or really thought about openly for years.

I hope my waffle helps - but the task will be finding ways to get your partner to recognise that this is a 2 way thing and you can be a couple again. It didn't work for me for a good decade but just to show there is sometimes light at the end of the tunnel.

We ain't dirty old men!

We are sexy senior citizens

 

[Hornymwtxn]

We ain't dirty old men!

We are sexy senior citizens

 

[Retiredmich54]

Been sexless for about 10 years now..
Menopause was not kind to my wife.
She just doesn't desire me any longer.
Sad for me..

 

[Dhfranklin94]

Speaking for myself. There is no making love, no sex, no intimacy. There is conversation, but it avoids certain subjects.

Sounds very familiar.

 

[Olderwiserstillhorny]

When the medical issues came into our lives it was a 50/50 thing.
Some dying desire on her part, added by medical conditions.

But, its still hard even when there is a partial explanation.

 

[Mtnmike]

Been sexless for about 10 years now..
Menopause was not kind to my wife.
She just doesn't desire me any longer.
Sad for me..

Same here brother, 17 year's and counting

 

[alexgriffin74]

Sounds very familiar.

Same.