Signs your mate is cheating...

How do I love sheath..

let me COUNT the ways.

Wow... I could go back through this whole thread and say so much, but being as I am lazy and not in the mood to become overly philosophical (yeah right...) I will just blabber needlessly about that which I can remember.

S -- I love you so much I'm going to start a thread on it! ;)

James -- although I haven't posted much in threads that you have been prevalent in, I always do appreciate your concise arguments. It makes it easier for me to say, "Yes, I disagree with you; yet, I still hold you in the utmost of regard." You do not put 'me' down for being happily monogamous. I appreciate this, just as I can appreciate the benefits you see in polygamy.

nightswan -- I must admit I agree with Cycnus and sheath on their assessment of you. I have noticed there are several things that get repeated time and again in your posts, but one that I haven't seen anyone comment on is the fact that you believe one can never KNOW their partner will be loyal, and they can only hope. I tend to disagree. I KNOW my husband will never be disloyal to me. I am fairly certain sheath knows her SO will never be unfaithful to her. I don't know sheath's SO but feel closer to the couple every day. If I didn't know my husband wouldn't cheat on me, I wouldn't be able to stand by him as we go through what could possibly be the worst time in our lives. I would have bad gut feelings about his loyalty and believe them instead of looking at his distance and other 'signs' as an indicator of his illness. We're different, though. Odd. Crazy.

Cycnus -- all of your posts have been well put and well informed. I have yet to believe you are saying ANYTHING without having thoroughly thought it through and researched it. Your grammar and spelling also hearten me, petty as it may sound.

All Y'all -- I think this thread may well do someone some good before it is left to pursue other subjects. I also think it will bring out some really interesting characters and their flaws. Flaws are good things to possess - they remind us that we're not perfect. And occassionally clue us in to where our perspectives may be dangerously skewed. I have learned things on this board that have changed how I see sex and everything associated with it very much differently than I did when I first joined. Mostly thanks to sheath. Gotta love her, huh?

I'm off to wreak havoc elsewhere!
Ang
 
Wow.

*blushing*

Ang, you are too kind. Thank you for all the kind words. :rose:

I do hope this thread keeps going. I'm learning so many things from the debate and discussion that has arisen here. I think that the idea of 'cheating' touches something inside us that causes deep conviction, and it's interesting to see how those collide.

Of course, I might just like to see James argue with somebody. ;)

Seriously...thanks, Ang. You made my night. :)

S.
 
Re: Re: LOL

James G 5 said:
Therapy.
Possesiveness is usually related to issues of insecurity or a fear of loss or lack of love (fear of, that is).
Address your issues, don't chain someone to you on account of them :D
 
Tiger_n_NJ said:
lol, Ah, so committed relationships should not is fear?

Seriously, you are right real possesiveness is not healthy.

You're losing me on the first line...
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: This Thread

sheath said:
Darling James, you should put that in your sig line! ;) :p

I believe monogamy is a wonderful, beautiful thing. Monogamy takes much more time and effort than NOT being mongamous. And it shows the ultimate in giving...to allow only that one person into your secret sensual and sexual self...for the rest of your life. That's one hell of a commitment. But quite worthwhile. :)

S.

Bah. More like is ultimately selfish :D
And non-monogamy takes MUCH more effort in maintaning a relationship and relationSHIPS :D
And the idea that such commitment requires singularity is silly, 'cause it goes back to dragging the physical in to something spiritual
Love is not sex, sex is not love
Neither requires the other :D
What makes it so worthwhile??? :p
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: This Thread

James G 5 said:
Bah. More like is ultimately selfish :D
And non-monogamy takes MUCH more effort in maintaning a relationship and relationSHIPS :D
And the idea that such commitment requires singularity is silly, 'cause it goes back to dragging the physical in to something spiritual
Love is not sex, sex is not love
Neither requires the other :D
What makes it so worthwhile??? :p

Two people choosing to give themselves to each other, and no one else, is selfish? How?

Sure, it takes much more effort to maintain more than one relationship. But how much of a deep, meaningful relationship can one have with more than one person? You are always dividing yourself, and that's easy, if you don't let anyone get TOO close. But letting ONE person in makes you more vulnerable, and yes, vulnerability takes more effort than security.

No, love is not sex and sex is not love. We've already established that. I didn't bring that point up, notice? You did. :p

And what makes it so worthwhile? Knowing that there is one person out there who knows you better than you know yourself. Knowing that there is one person out there who shares every secret you have. More than one person knowing those little things about you takes the honor away from that one you have chosen to live your life with.

And so...monogamy is definitely more fulfilling, I would think, than separating oneself into sections for more than one person.

I know we disagree, James. ;) But I like you anyway.

S.
 
Last edited:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: This Thread

James G 5 said:
Bah. More like is ultimately selfish :D
And non-monogamy takes MUCH more effort in maintaning a relationship and relationSHIPS :D
And the idea that such commitment requires singularity is silly, 'cause it goes back to dragging the physical in to something spiritual
Love is not sex, sex is not love
Neither requires the other :D
What makes it so worthwhile??? :p

What makes it so worthwhile????
The unselfish giving of yourself to that partner that your truly love.....and if you have other partners or know that your partner has others then you cannot give of yourself as deeply as you can otherwise....
The physical can be something spiritual......I know sex is only a biological function.....but when it is put together with love and unselfishness then it is absolutely beautiful......
Much more meaningful.....


:heart: :rose: :heart:
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: This Thread

Tiger_n_NJ said:
Why am I not meeting women that believe this?

You are not looking in the right places????

I bet that wasnt a real queston.....was it???? LOL

I believe in love and romance and all the finer things in life. Most of my friends dont.......they only believe in what they want out of life. You cant be selfish and love.

You need to change the place where you are looking....

Good luck Tiger....


:heart: :rose: :heart:
 
Tiger_n_NJ said:
Although I didnt expect an answer it was a real question.

My sisters are very giving. The men they have met were horrilbe. The women friends they had were worse. Very few were giving. Compared to them I have been lucky.

What? Are you saying to leave Lit????

Seriously I do have other options but I am patient at the moment.

Oh Wow >>>>No dont leave lit......that is probably the best thing you have done.....LOL.....


:heart: :rose: :heart:
 
Back
Top