snippets: short short stories

[Guest]

​

So you're agreeing, then?

 

[cloudy]

So you're agreeing, then?

I suppose her "story" was too good for criticism.

 

[English Lady]

I do think this should be named the catfight thread

 

[cloudy]

I do think this should be named the catfight thread

No, I just thought that her response to Dar was extremely rude, and uncalled for...especially as Dar was right. No punctuation besides ellipses, and zero captialization makes something extremely hard to read. I didn't even bother to try.

 

[English Lady]

I still stand by the fact that it was kinda rude, probably meant to be funny, but rude all the same. the fact it was retaliated against isn't surprising. I also feel that it should be left at that really. instead of everyone jumping on the "tease the newbie" train.

I'd like to think we were all a bit more grown up than that really.

 

[cloudy]

I still stand by the fact that it was kinda rude, probably meant to be funny, but rude all the same. the fact it was retaliated against isn't surprising. I also feel that it should be left at that really. instead of everyone jumping on the "tease the newbie" train.

I'd like to think we were all a bit more grown up than that really.

I'm not "teasing" the newbie. I have nothing to say to her besides noting that I think she's a rude bitch. And, I am leaving it alone - now.

Interesting that people are more worried about scaring a newbie away than whether said newbie hurt someone else's feelings.

I'm out.

 

[English Lady]

bye!

And as a good friend of mine always said, if you dish it out, you should be prepared to get it back.

And thats my last word on the topic.

 

[cloudy]

bye!

And as a good friend of mine always said, if you ish it out, you should be prepared to get it back.

And thats my last word on the topic.

When have you EVER seen me afraid of anything?

I like you, EL, but honestly, those words are better directed at someone else.

 

[Guest]

I do think this should be named the catfight thread

No catfight.

Just coming to the defense of another AH member. It's one thing to criticize someone's writings, but it's a completely different matter when you criticize their personal appearance.

Why on earth would you defend someone whose initial posts in the AH were rude and yet forbid others to defend the AH member to whom those rude comments were directed?

How do you choose who receives your special blessings?

 

[cloudy]

No catfight.

Just coming to the defense of another AH member. It's one thing to criticize someone's writings, but it's a completely different matter when you criticize their personal appearance.

Why on earth would you defend someone whose initial posts in the AH were rude and yet forbid others to defend the AH member to whom those rude comments were directed?

How do you choose who receives your special blessings?

Thank you.

I suppose we're not "grown up" enough to understand.

 

[English Lady]

Defend who you will and I will defend who I will.

No one gets special blessings, everyone get's'em.

I hope Dar doesn't let the comment upset her, it was a lash out to a percieved rude comment she made. Things are said/written in the heat of the moment.

I'm saying nothing more now, as it's all been said. I don't mean any ill will to everyone, I really, truely wish we could all get on, but hey, the world just isn't like that.

I should have kept my nose out, but I'm human too. I hope I will be forgiven if I've hurt anyones feelings I truly didn't mean too.


And voyeuresse I apologise for the thread hijack.

 

[voyeuresse]

when i was a young mother hippy of the land sunny garden shady yard old farmhouse bordered by sun dappled leaf shaded irrigation ditches... tulips elms apricot trees snowballs and lilacs wild rose brambles and oh asparagus red current bushes with one white one nestled in the midst and daylilies. oh. on a warm summer morning id sit on the swing and call to the peacock as i watched my little ones play on the shady wild lawn. the peacock on the next farm... far away... and he would answer back and come closer with each call ...till his fence! stopped him! and i knew he was in love. and maybe i was too. ive always had a soft spot in my heart for the male in pursuit. but he never saw me. until one day as we walked on the road... i heard him call and i answered back. then even with his driveway, my call his call, then up the drive, my call his call, then in the barnyard... there! at my call! i see him! and he sees me! he freezes. his glorious full blown greengolden purple-eyed turquoisy shimmering shivering tail ....droops then folds. disappointment dejection then anger...then scorn... then...shunning. ...as slowly turning ...walking stately away ...never a glance back ...never a call ever again. never ...ever.

what i would like my readers to do is perform an act of faith... go on my ride... relax and see what i have to offer... enjoy a new view...​

here is my internal dialogue so far on this piece:​

shady wild lawn maybe 'wild shady lawn' ?
then even with his driveway everytime i read it it bugs me as not saying my walk has brought me on the road to the place that is even with his driveway at his driveway.
purple-eyed i dont like the hyphen and i think the eye in the feather has more to it than just purple-eyedness.
turquoisy i keep thinking it should be spelled turquoisey but that looks wrong.
he freezes in the actual occurance of this event i believe 'shock!' occurred and i want to put it before or after 'he freezes'
anger i dont think he actually got angry. but i need three there.... maybe 'disappointment dejection then... scorn'? or yes better yet 'disappointment dejection then ...scorn'
stately that word bugs me for some reason i think i need a synonym for it.

id like to talk about those kinds of things with my readers rather than talk about how they dont like my vehicle.

​

 

[Guest]

If you wish to write a poem, please do so. In the current form this really has more of a poetic feel.

If you wish for this to be taken as a story, punctuation will really be necessary. Otherwise it is very difficult for people to read and interpret your thoughts. We can't tell where the emphasis is, where your focus is, what importance you are placing on specific words or sentences.

In other words, there is no vehicle right now.

 

[cloudy]

what i would like my readers to do is perform an act of faith... go on my ride... relax and see what i have to offer... enjoy a new view...​

here is my internal dialogue so far on this piece:​

shady wild lawn maybe 'wild shady lawn' ?
then even with his driveway everytime i read it it bugs me as not saying my walk has brought me on the road to the place that is even with his driveway at his driveway.
purple-eyed i dont like the hyphen and i think the eye in the feather has more to it than just purple-eyedness.
turquoisy i keep thinking it should be spelled turquoisey but that looks wrong.
he freezes in the actual occurance of this event i believe 'shock!' occurred and i want to put it before or after 'he freezes'
anger i dont think he actually got angry. but i need three there.... maybe 'disappointment dejection then... scorn'? or yes better yet 'disappointment dejection then ...scorn'
stately that word bugs me for some reason i think i need a synonym for it.

id like to talk about those kinds of things with my readers rather than talk about how they dont like my vehicle.

​

Honestly? Getting past the fact that I think you're rude as fuck:

You lack basic writing skills. By that I mean use of punctuation, writing in complete sentences, etc. It makes what you write almost impossible to make sense of if you don't follow the rules everyone else does. Your ideas may be good ones, but if you lack the skill to communicate those ideas, then what good are they?

You may think that it makes you seem avant-garde, or some other such nonsense by writing in that style, but all it does is make your writing incomprehesible.

 

[voyeuresse]

...and as far as this whole catfight thing...​

first of all, i thot my rejoinder to ~Punctuation! My head hurts!~ was hilarious. her first reaction to my post was to tell me i made her head hurt. so i thot it fitting to tell her my first reaction to her post... which is that her closeup of boobs made my eyes hurt. haha ...and it was a comment not on her physical appearance but rather on how overpowering those huge beautifully glowing moonlike globes were to this heterosexual female. i have seen way too many boobs ...lately... ...on here... to even be able to close my eyes at nite without them popping into my vision... thanks to the booby awards and show us your titties threads lately haha
secondly, i reacted like that to her post because im so tired of people only naysaying... engaging in destructive rather than constructive criticism. my last post explains that better i hope. we dont have to pussyfoot but can we not put claws out at first contact?
and finally... i really need some female friends.

soo... lets just everyone take a deep breath... sip some nice herbal tea... and enjoy each others offerings.

​

 

[voyeuresse]

If you wish to write a poem, please do so. In the current form this really has more of a poetic feel.

If you wish for this to be taken as a story, punctuation will really be necessary. Otherwise it is very difficult for people to read and interpret your thoughts. We can't tell where the emphasis is, where your focus is, what importance you are placing on specific words or sentences.

In other words, there is no vehicle right now.

yes i can get a handle on what you have said. and yes it is actually a poem. but one that tells a story. and a true one at that! and its not so much my thoughts as how they move that i tried to convey by the form i used. and the emphasis is on full phrases each alone strung together to make a full complete idea. maybe like a painting? i dunno ...its what im striving for... and thank you for helping me define that ...as i was just doing it without knowing why.

 

[voyeuresse]

Honestly? Getting past the fact that I think you're rude as fuck:

You lack basic writing skills. By that I mean use of punctuation, writing in complete sentences, etc. It makes what you write almost impossible to make sense of if you don't follow the rules everyone else does. Your ideas may be good ones, but if you lack the skill to communicate those ideas, then what good are they?

You may think that it makes you seem avant-garde, or some other such nonsense by writing in that style, but all it does is make your writing incomprehesible.

Now the peace pipe, it lies broken - all the shamans gone unspoken.
In the dead of the evening, when the tears come down.
All in the name of God somehow…

crying​

 

[cloudy]

Now the peace pipe, it lies broken - all the shamans gone unspoken.
In the dead of the evening, when the tears come down.
All in the name of God somehow…

crying​

do you even understand what that quote means??????

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume you do.

 

[Stella_Omega]

...and as far as this whole catfight thing...​

first of all, i thot my rejoinder to ~Punctuation! My head hurts!~ was hilarious. her first reaction to my post was to tell me i made her head hurt. so i thot it fitting to tell her my first reaction to her post... which is that her closeup of boobs made my eyes hurt. haha ...and it was a comment not on her physical appearance but rather on how overpowering those huge beautifully glowing moonlike globes were to this heterosexual female. i have seen way too many boobs ...lately... ...on here... to even be able to close my eyes at nite without them popping into my vision... thanks to the booby awards and show us your titties threads lately haha
secondly, i reacted like that to her post because im so tired of people only naysaying... engaging in destructive rather than constructive criticism. my last post explains that better i hope. we dont have to pussyfoot but can we not put claws out at first contact?
and finally... i really need some female friends.

soo... lets just everyone take a deep breath... sip some nice herbal tea... and enjoy each others offerings.

​

I'm willing to be your friend.
I'm in favor of experimental writing. It doesn't always have to be successful.
If we can't post it here, where?
And besides, your forum handle has a lip-licking quality for me. Like the name of a very expensive chocolate truffle...

 

[voyeuresse]

I'm willing to be your friend.
I'm in favor of experimental writing. It doesn't always have to be successful.
If we can't post it here, where?
And besides, your forum handle has a lip-licking quality for me. Like the name of a very expensive chocolate truffle...

haha thanks... just made it up to make sure everyone knew i was a female... and for the chat room... to stave off interaction so i could watch and learn. up until a couple of months ago ive never been in an adult chat room or forum or even looked around for adult stuff on the internet. so you all have a bona fide newbie in all senses of the word. since i am real in the chat room i thought it would be a good name here too.
i havent written in a very long time... just started in the last month. and since it took years to start up again i am denying myself nothing. the muse has free rein.
and thank you you are buddied!

 

[elsol]

Smiles
By ElSol

"Whenever I walk by, you're always smiling."

"You've got the wrong order, Lisa."

"I don't understand?"

"Whenever you walk by, I smile."

The End

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[elsol]

only her
by elsol

"dude!" robert exclaimed. “the bitch is so fine."

lucky for him, the object of his affection made it out of earshot before the words burst out of him.

"and the way she walks," sean added. "she knows she's fucking hot!"

"she'd fuck a tree trunk smooth."

i didn't have anything to add. she was the one the women hated and the men... well, they hated her too. i sat at my desk and began the grind. a couple of hours later, sean came over again.

"so you got anything for her today," he asked. he didn't have to say who; every other woman had a name.

i shook my head.

"how can you be the only tech with a reason to talk to her and not take advantage of it?" sean lamented.

i shrugged.

sean wouldn't be the only one to ask if i had something for her. it was a particularly annoying day, but short skirt days always were. i sighed with relief when the clock displayed the time for her to go home; it would give me peace enough to get work done.

"master," she whispered as i stepped into the living room. her posture was rigidly perfect: naked, ass on ankles, forehead touching the floor. i traced the line of her spine to the treasure every male i knew wished he could plunder.

"how was your day?"

"awful!" she said. "please master, can't i even say hello to you at the office."

"what have i told you?"

"but master!"

"what have i told you?"

"will you punish me?"

i smiled; her eagerness, in everything, always made me smile. i shook my head; she did not have to hear the word to know what the answer would be.

"but master, they would suffer more if they knew." she was not one to let go an opportunity to be put over my lap, a pleasant change from the first time she made it necessary.

"i know, Lisa," i said. "i'm the only one that has to."

"yes, master."

"a bath," i said. "i've been thinking about you giving me a bath all day."

the end

 

[voyeuresse]

"i know, Lisa," i said. "i'm the only one that has to."

aha! another piece to the puzzle fits in!

 

[elsol]

Lo Que Se Acuerda
SubTitle: The Introduction
By ElSol

Undeniably, some instruments are better than others: voices that move you, words that stir, but power is in the music. Otherwise, it's raucous sound, off-key wailing, and rhyming words.

The music drew me to the performance hall; the power made me listen.

ayer conoci un cielo sin sol, y un hombre sin suelo

My mistake became visible to the audience as she lifted the dark hair streaked with painted red out of her face. She stared at me, her eyes hungering for something on the horizon of memory.

The mind couldn't remember me, but the body remembered the music.

It wasn't hers but mine, being echoed back to capture me like I had used it against her. I stood up and moved backwards, deeper into the shadows.

It had to be fixed, but the music would have its say.

y conoci tus ojos negros

"Sir, you must sit down."

The music always flowed from my guitar--the strings and my fingers making something more than either of us. This night, it was in the air, helping her body seduce the audience and waiting for me to grasp it.

I waved the guard aside, and the music made him.

y ahora si que no puedo vivir sin ellos yo

She danced on the stage, but her eyes burned through the darkness. The heat rode the waves of music to me. Her smile was one of victory; she had come hunting and found her game.

I bowed and wrapped the music around me using it to cloud her vision. She took a step, almost falling off the stage, but stopped herself. She understood; the power was in the music so I couldn't go far.

I wouldn't go far.

y vi pasar tus ojos negros

"You can't come back here!" the goon said and put his hand on my chest pushing backwards.

I raised the eyes she sang about, making him falter. My fingers touched the strings of the guitar, moving him aside. Everyone backed away as the music took them somewhere else.

I opened the door at the end of the hall and stepped inside.

y ahora si que no puedo vivir sin ellos yo

She sat on her heels, naked. Her hair was carefully dressed to hide her breasts, and her locked knees hid what would have remembered me most if I had allowed it.

"Te acuerdas de mi?" I asked.

Her hands pushed the hair over her shoulders; she stretched coming up on her knees. I enjoyed the sight, like she wanted me to. Her body was not the mountains of youth but the pleasure of moderation.

Except her hips, a part of me remembered how she moved her hips.

"No," she replied, almost smiling.

"But you remember something," I said touching the strings. She took a deep breath as power danced on the air.

"Mi cuerpo, sus manos," she whispered. "Cada noche, sus ojos. Pero en my sueños, su musica."

The truth was in her eyes; I had wanted her to remember.

he recorrido ya el mundo entero y una cosa te vengo a decir

The motion was somewhere between sexy and sensual. She stood as if the music of a night lost to her still coursed in her veins. She touched her body how I wanted her to.

How I wanted to.

Her steps were measured, each foot timed to touch the ground at the bottom of the seven breaths it took her to arrive. She pressed her body against me and...

It would be done right this time; nothing of me would be left behind. But first, she would get what she wanted, the privilege of dancing for my eyes.

I leaned down and kissed her.

viaje de Bahrein hasta Beirut, fui desde el Norte hasta el polo sur
y no encontre ojos asi como los que tienes tu


El Fin​

 

[elsol]

Okay... that was actually flash and the formatting takes things away that a short row lengths give

Oh well... time for bed.

Sincerely,
ElSol