Something that will Kill You ... ABC Order, Vol. 5

Wondering whether the whispers about the Marquis de Sade are true, you pay him a visit and experience his “sadism” firsthand, decades before term inspired by him is even coined. Unfortunately for you, safe words don’t exist yet, and you’ve passed out from the pain and are therefore unable to convince him to stop anyway. He gets a little carried away and you end up with internal organ damage, which would be awful if you weren’t already bleeding out.
 
eXtreme narcissism in the Hall of Mirrors, since someone took the shitty time machine for a spin and ended up a little earlier. Wearing a wig and waving your dick around, you watch your reflection until, from the ridiculous impression you make, wearing a peruke and red heels and nothing else, one of the mirrors explodes in a fit of laughter, instantly killing you in a death by shards.
 
Yearning to go back in time to witness these fabulous events, but with no real mechanical skill, you accidentally wire your makeshift time machine wrongly... you were never seen again.
 
Zealously attempting to fix your broken time machine to no avail, you accidentally reactivate it, without having properly set a destination. You land in the early settlement of Salem, Massachusetts and are immediately charged with witchcraft. In a completely unbiased trial, they drown you, thereby determining you are not a witch.
 
Amazed to finally get the time machine to work, you set the date for when you were born, wanting to witness this.

Alas, it lands on your mother just seconds before the big event
 
Dizzy from all the time traveling and bodacious boobs, staggering into a freezer room stocked with brains, (which actually sounds very appealing rn 😂)
 
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