Stranded

[richard_daily]

I am offended that I'm just being kept around for my cock.

I have excellent survival skills and I would be willing to make the hard decisions that other people will struggle with.

My harem would be filled with saucy wenches who would write me poetry and beg for attention all the time.

Dolf gets chained to a tree and is forced to watch, because that filthy cunt didn't pick me...

 

[Garnate]

Instead of listing my top 5, and possibly leaving someone awesome out, I'm going to list why I should be picked for everyone's island:

***I'm slow. If an animal chases us, you'll survive. All you have to do is outrun me and a toddler could do that.

***Bee attack? Calm the fuck down. I know bees don't have ears but my instinctual "bee scream" is so loud that they don't need ears to take off in the other direction. And again, I'm slow. And they could smell the terror coming off me. You'll be fine.

***I bet after a few weeks on the island alcohol is sounding pretty good. I got you covered. I don't go anywhere without my lined-with-sacks-of-alcohol jogging suit.

***Did I mention I'm slow? Whether we're trying to outrun island animals or you just want someone to play "Bury the pickle" with, I'm not getting very far. Plus I don't put up much of a fight.

***Spiders? Islands probably have lots of those. I'll kill baseball-sized tarantulas with my bare hands; I don't give a fuck.

***Mosquitos are a thing of the past. You won't even know they're around because they'll be too busy attacking me until they've sucked every last ounce of blood from my body. Mosquitos fucking LOVE me.

***Entertainment: if you get tired of my Drew Barrymore impressions, my Chris Farley-esque dancing will never not be amazing.



Just think about that before excluding me from your island.

 

[Adre]

I'm sold.

 

[Mischka]

Just think about that before excluding me from your island.

I just edited my answer to add you to Hedonist Isle.

 

[Lancecastor]

You only want me for my liquor? Sigh ...

Stop fishing; that's Killswitch's job during the week.

And...depending on who your licker is, she can come too.

 

[Garnate]

I just edited my answer to add you to Hedonist Isle.

Now we're talking!

 

[smoothg103rd]

I'm sold.

What part you gone sold on? I bet it's the she doesn't put up a fight part. Fuckin rapist.

 

[1HF]

I am offended that I'm just being kept around for my cock.

I have excellent survival skills and I would be willing to make the hard decisions that other people will struggle with.

My harem would be filled with saucy wenches who would write me poetry and beg for attention all the time.

Dolf gets chained to a tree and is forced to watch, because that filthy cunt didn't pick me...

Perfect! You can be a handy, helpful sex slave.

 

[Garnate]

What part you gone sold on? I bet it's the she doesn't put up a fight part. Fuckin rapist.

I couldn't not laugh. I tried.....and failed miserably.

 

[Pookie]

So can I hit a home run?

I guess we'll find out. But when I said affectionately, I meant in a good way. You would be the muscle, protector, and see to any needs I so choose.

 

[Mischka]

Stop fishing; that's Killswitch's job during the week.


And...depending on who your licker is, she can come too.

Only during the week? What's occupying his time on weekends?

My current licker is a blonde fitness model who is lasered smooth. But as she doesn't post on Lit, she's disqualified from joining Lancecastor's Island.

 

[Riles]

Thor - i don't need anyone to ensure my survival, but a partner would be great and I think we'd deal well together.

Cleo - she's my closest female friend from here.

Kowboy - he's entertaining and sweet and i imagine him to be a furnace when sleeping.


I need to think on the other two.

Okay so after giving it some thought I'm realizing I don't know people well enough here anymore. So I guess I have two slots open for a DIY type with hunter/gatherer abilities.

 

[Lancecastor]

Only during the week? What's occupying his time on weekends?

.

Drag Shows!

I have two slots open for a DIY type with hunter/gatherer abilities.

And the third slot....?

 

[Aquagal]

Come on, no one is bringing pete to schmooze the native girls into finding the water source?


Too soon?

 

[Garnate]

Come on, no one is bringing pete to schmooze the native girls into finding the water source?


Too soon?

Ahhahahaa

 

[smoothg103rd]

I guess we'll find out. But when I said affectionately, I meant in a good way. You would be the muscle, protector, and see to any needs I so choose.

Sounds like a role I'm fit for.

 

[chillywilly2]

I'm still thinking about it but I'm going to start with Cookie jar and Milky

I don't think an explanation of why is required

 

[Lord Pmann]

Come on, no one is bringing pete to schmooze the native girls into finding the water source?


Too soon?

*claps*

 

[thør]

#2

http://www.icelebz.com/celebs/dawn_wells/images/photo27.jpg

RIP........

 

[chillywilly2]

Thor could likely come along too but he has to bring a "friend"

I need somebody to build stuff with in the off times

 

[neci]

perg - medic. outdoorsman. adventurer. all around the person i know i would need. check.

thør - outdoorsman. survivalist. chops wood. knows his stuff. will keep us safe from bears.

laurel - so we can go crazy together.

mona - i'm betting mona has super survivalist instincts, plus she enjoys the elements. with her company, everyone would be kept in line and productive.

ass hook pete - for entertainment, good company and innovative ideas.

 

[Riles]

And the third slot....?

Reserved for the islands' "Tarzan" of course. A girl always needs a bargaining chip.

 

[spacekowboy]

Thor - i don't need anyone to ensure my survival, but a partner would be great and I think we'd deal well together.

Cleo - she's my closest female friend from here.

Kowboy - he's entertaining and sweet and i imagine him to be a furnace when sleeping.


I need to think on the other two.

It's really because I'm furry and when sheared you can make clothing out of my wool.

 

[kbate]

If I have to be stranded with 5 gbers, I hope the island is no smaller than England.

 

[chillywilly2]

If I have to be stranded with 5 gbers, I hope the island is no smaller than England.

Thats why its called stranded and not vacationing