Sub Drop?

[intothewoods]

I think what you are experiencing right afterwards does sound like drop. It doesn't mean it's not powerful because it's a chemical reaction. It's very real. I recommended the bath or other physically soothing activities because the touch can help.

Glad you're feeling ok at the moment though!

 

[minx1]

I know what you mean...lol. I realized that you said you were OK right now, sorry I didn't mention that in my last post.

I don't think that minimizing how we're feeling is exactly the right way to go about it honestly. To me that's like saying we don't have a right to our feelings, which I'm pretty sure isn't what you're trying to say. It is really hard to explain here. I think what needs to happen is to acknowledge and admit what we're going through. That sort of goes along with open communication to me.

Daddy wants me to let him know when I'm in that "dark" place. So that He can be there for me, to help me through it. If I were to disregard it, then He couldn't help me. It's tough to admit it sometimes, I'll grant you that, but well worth it in the long run.

Of course this is all dependant on if your Master feels the same way Daddy does...LOL... which I would assume He probably does based on what you've already posted. My advice is to (as hard as it is) not try and cope with this alone, let your Master know you need His help. Believe me I KNOW just how tough that is to do.

Yeah good avice Dixi...thanks

My Master likes to know how I am feeling and he would definitely want to know why I haven't told him! *smile*
I have kinda mentioned it in passing but not really made a big deal out of it...I guess because I was waiting to see if it stopped lol. To find out if it was sub drop first...or if it was me being just me!

 

[minx1]

I think what you are experiencing right afterwards does sound like drop. It doesn't mean it's not powerful because it's a chemical reaction. It's very real. I recommended the bath or other physically soothing activities because the touch can help.

Glad you're feeling ok at the moment though!

thanks itw. Yeah I find the whole holding, stroking and soothing bit afterwards really helps.
I mean its always nice, right? But I seem to need[/ithat more than I ever did before, to help me come down gently. Having said that...I never felt this kinda 'drop' duing any of my vanilla relationships.

 

[Homburg]

thanks itw. Yeah I find the whole holding, stroking and soothing bit afterwards really helps.
I mean its always nice, right? But I seem to need[/ithat more than I ever did before, to help me come down gently. Having said that...I never felt this kinda 'drop' duing any of my vanilla relationships.

Vanilla relationships don't tend to involve so much physical intensity, pain, etc.

 

[minx1]

Vanilla relationships don't tend to involve so much physical intensity, pain, etc.

yes absolutely Homburg. Sorry I'm doing it again, making a statement and not explaining myself very well. I don't seem to be able to put my brain into gear at the moment lol....

Thats my point I guess...the touch, holding etc is always nice, whether its bdsm or vanilla. But its only since i have been a sub that I have felt a need to have that...just because as you say Homburg, it can be extremely intense.

 

[intothewoods]

yes absolutely Homburg. Sorry I'm doing it again, making a statement and not explaining myself very well. I don't seem to be able to put my brain into gear at the moment lol....

Thats my point I guess...the touch, holding etc is always nice, whether its bdsm or vanilla. But its only since i have been a sub that I have felt a need to have that...just because as you say Homburg, it can be extremely intense.

I might be off, but I don't think it's that your brain isn't in gear. I think it's just kind of crazy when it all finally happens! Especially if you've been thinking about it all this time first.

This is my first bdsm relationship. I don't know how much it's bdsm and how much it's vanilla, but our play is intense, emotionally and physically. There have been times when I needed to be held. Now there are times when I just need a pat on the head and a "good girl."

 

[Homburg]

yes absolutely Homburg. Sorry I'm doing it again, making a statement and not explaining myself very well. I don't seem to be able to put my brain into gear at the moment lol....

It's cool. Like ITW said, it can be crazy. I know I have trouble staying focused after a nasty bout of Top Drop.

And, hey, I'm still in my first BDSM relationship too. Admittedly we've been together for 16 years, 5 of which we've actually been calling what we do D/s, but I've been Dominant the whole time, and she's been submissive just as long. I'm new too!

 

[subkitty72]

ouch.

hurts. so. fucking. bad.

want to crawl into bed and re-emerge in 20 days.

i have read the advice on this thread and want to just thank everyone who has contributed. i know that sub-drop isn't a universal experience, but i also know that it is real for some (for me, sadly) and can 'cause intense and wide ranging emotional ups and downs. But more importantly, i know that it does not last forever (thank the gods).

oh, i just remembered a silly line from a poem i included in an "art" project i made for Daddy and that He hung on His fridge:

"Today, i was the miracle. i was without You. And i lived."

Sigh.

i need a nightcap.

 

[Homburg]

*warm hugs for subkitty*

It'll get better, sweetheart.

 

[Netzach]

I'm gonna pop in to be cold and clinical and remind people it's not just emotions. You are playing with your brain. You are, essentially, doing something equivalent to doing drugs. Flooding the noggin with dopamine and endorphins and if you're the Dom whacking your adrenals into full engagement - yeah, you don't normally do that in the course of vanilla relationships.

 

[minx1]

I'm gonna pop in to be cold and clinical and remind people it's not just emotions. You are playing with your brain. You are, essentially, doing something equivalent to doing drugs. Flooding the noggin with dopamine and endorphins and if you're the Dom whacking your adrenals into full engagement - yeah, you don't normally do that in the course of vanilla relationships.

Thanks Netzach...for being 'cold and clinical' and actually really helpful

 

[intothewoods]

Yeah, that's for real. That's why I was thinking maybe if you did something tactile, like the bath, it might help. Maybe even get a pedicure! Touch helps.

 

[subkitty72]

*warm hugs for subkitty*

It'll get better, sweetheart.

Thank you, don Hommy. Your words made my heart smile.

i am doing some "tangible" things to mitigate the "i'm falling down to earth like a fucking dart" feelings i've been having.

i am wearing Daddy's University of Virginia Law hoodie, which is obscenely large on me, but still smells like Him.

i am having champagne and watching Comedy Central (hey, alcohol helps, or numbs. either way, i feel better ).

At the risk of cross-pollinating threads, i want to just state that meeting in real life, experiencing the pleasure and the pain in real flesh, is just about the most perfect, most "complete" thing i have ever done. No offense at all to my online only D/sers: i started that way and it was powerful. Thought it could provide all i needed. i am so glad i stepped out on faith (hard to do for an atheist) and took the chance. i am better for it. Daddy and i are better together than We are apart. Are better in body together.

And if the price i have to pay is this private purgatory, this sub-drop, i pay it gladly and in real currency.

 

[Homburg]

i am having champagne and watching Comedy Central (hey, alcohol helps, or numbs. either way, i feel better ).

BDSM in large doses can cause adrenal exhaustion. Sort of like overtraining with exercise, weights, etc. Alcohol can actually help by messing with your hormones in a different way. I can't gracefully explain it, but it can help.

At the risk of cross-pollinating threads, i want to just state that meeting in real life, experiencing the pleasure and the pain in real flesh, is just about the most perfect, most "complete" thing i have ever done. No offense at all to my online only D/sers: i started that way and it was powerful. Thought it could provide all i needed. i am so glad i stepped out on faith (hard to do for an atheist) and took the chance. i am better for it. Daddy and i are better together than We are apart. Are better in body together.

And if the price i have to pay is this private purgatory, this sub-drop, i pay it gladly and in real currency.

I know, lovely. It is a heavy price to pay, but worth it. I'm just glad that you got to do it.

 

[Daddyslilpet]

I'm gonna pop in to be cold and clinical and remind people it's not just emotions. You are playing with your brain. You are, essentially, doing something equivalent to doing drugs. Flooding the noggin with dopamine and endorphins and if you're the Dom whacking your adrenals into full engagement - yeah, you don't normally do that in the course of vanilla relationships.

You are correct. However, "drugs" also have a tendancy to affect the emotions as a side effect. Which is why the TLC tends to help some. This doesn't work for everyone of course.

The "flooding the noggin" happens for the submissive too.

Yeah, that's for real. That's why I was thinking maybe if you did something tactile, like the bath, it might help. Maybe even get a pedicure! Touch helps.

Also some very good suggestions!

 

[kayte]

Just a friendly bump!

 

[malinborn]

sometimes even a simple thing like chocolate and a hot shower or even an orgasm can help... i myself feel like i am in drop but nothing i helping.. you will feel better soon i am sure

 

[madetotakeit]

sub drop? seasonal blues? little of both?

I'm not quite sure what my little mind has been going through. I know I don't like it though.

I'm in a sort of general malaise. It's not that I am unhappy, more that I am not as happy as I usually am. I've always been the glass half full kind of gal. Lately I've felt as half empty as this glass of port in front of me. It's hard to explain, but I have been having doubts. Not about anything in particular, well that's not entirely true. Why do I find myself second guessing so much lately? Second guessing other people? I haven't been given any reason to. Looking for little reassurances that don't come. I don't understand where the need to do that comes from. That's never been me. Once I get to know someone, I take everything at face value unless given a reason to do otherwise. Why do I find myself analyzing everyone now?

Part of me says this is seasonal blues although I have never had that before. Sure I have cried when I talk to my family on the holidays, but that is out of missing them. I am always rock solid until the moment someone says they wish I was there. I have never had it hit before those words have been spoken. Why would this year be any different from the countless others I have shared via phone?

Another part of me says it's stress. They implemented a new system at work and it can best be described as uncontrolled chaos. The job itself is stressful, but now there are all of these extra stresses added on top of that. I am about to start a stretch of seven straight 12 hour days. I'm not looking forward to that. I already need a break. Granted part of that is my fault for signing up for the overtime, but somebody has to do it. I'm a supervisor. I have to lead by example. I essentially have no family here. At least if I am working somebody else can be home with theirs. On top of that my roommate is moving in a couple of weeks. While that is actually going to alleviate a lot of stress in my life, on the other hand I'm going to miss my friend.

And the last part of me speaks up. I'm not sure if this qualifies as sub drop or something else. Granted I was on a pretty hard frenzy for awhile, but would it take as long as a month to kick in? Keeping in mind the frenzy lasted over a week and I went through about another week adjusting to looking through my new eyes, so in effect I haven't slowed down until recently. My life took a 180. Common sense says there will be adjustment to that. I liked the past weeks. The hyper sensitivity, the urges in overdrive. That realization of "Oh this is possible. This is better than I thought it would be. This is the direction I want/need to go. How far will I be willing to go?" I liked taking what felt like the first true deep breath in my life and saying, "This is me. Finally."

I feel like there is a hole right now and I'm not sure what I need to fill it with. Is it for me to fill? I've always been self reliant. I took a chance, stepped forward, and handed the reins over. Now I am trying to figure out what to do with them. Is this the price of feeling that exalted? The Yin and Yang of emotions?

I feel...vulnerable. I hate that feeling.

 

[Homburg]

And the last part of me speaks up. I'm not sure if this qualifies as sub drop or something else. Granted I was on a pretty hard frenzy for awhile, but would it take as long as a month to kick in? Keeping in mind the frenzy lasted over a week and I went through about another week adjusting to looking through my new eyes, so in effect I haven't slowed down until recently. My life took a 180. Common sense says there will be adjustment to that. I liked the past weeks. The hyper sensitivity, the urges in overdrive. That realization of "Oh this is possible. This is better than I thought it would be. This is the direction I want/need to go. How far will I be willing to go?" I liked taking what felt like the first true deep breath in my life and saying, "This is me. Finally."

I feel like there is a hole right now and I'm not sure what I need to fill it with. Is it for me to fill? I've always been self reliant. I took a chance, stepped forward, and handed the reins over. Now I am trying to figure out what to do with them. Is this the price of feeling that exalted? The Yin and Yang of emotions?

That is pretty much how this game works. While TopSpace and TopDrop are different animals from the sub versions, they exhibit similarities. It's all a matter of dopamine response, prolactin levels, and other fun hormonal balance issues. When you're in frenzy, or your appropriate Xspace, your endorphins are cruising and dopamine levels are high. After a while, the body adjusts by dropping dopamine and raising porlactin. Whee, down comes you. High levels of prolactin make you feel down, and reduce your dopamine sensitivty, so that the things that you find pleasaurable are less pleasurable.

It is a complex and elegant survival mechanism designed to keep you from sitting in your cave all day and screwing, and thus ignoring the need for food, wtaer, etc.

I feel...vulnerable. I hate that feeling.

Vulnerability is hot. That emotionally raw and ragged state? Rawr.

 

[madetotakeit]

Well Hom, you would find me pretty damn irresistible right now then.

I thought after reading all the posts that it might be drop. I read somewhere that withdrawal can bring it on as well. I just wasn't sure if it could be so delayed.

 

[minx1]

*snip*

My life took a 180. Common sense says there will be adjustment to that.

I feel...vulnerable. I hate that feeling.

Sorry you are feeling a bit low madetotakeit. Imo I think you have analysed your own situation very well and hit the nail on the head.

it is only natural that such drastic change to your circumstances would bring on feelings of vulnerability, uncertainty and loss of control. I find that whenever I feel like that those emotions seem to taint every aspect of my life to various degrees and it becomes hard to sort the wheat from the chaff.

It is also times like that that we look for reassurances. When they don't come it becomes part of a self fulfilling prophecy...only adding to the feelings of vulnerability and adding fuel to the thoughts that things aren't right

Often we expect our families and SO to instinctively know how we are feeling, but the fact of the matter is, often they won't until we tell them. I don't know if you have discussed you feelings with your PYL yet. Its something I am learning to do more of. To explain and talk about my feelings and concerns and to ask him for reassurance if I need it. He has pointed out once or twice before that his mindreading skills aren't quite up to scratch *smile*

My advice is to take it all in bite size chunks, that way things won't get to the stage where they seem so huge or insurmountable. Talk it over with your PYL and try and work through which are the parts that are the most unsettling.

As for sub drop...I really don't know; I'm not quite sure if I have suffered from it myself! But whatever the label, you are feeling restless and a little blue and it seems experiencing a 'drop' of some desription. With the holidays and being a way from family, stresses at work on top of the multitude of feelings that surface from submission, its really not surprising *hugs*.

I hope these feelings lift soon

 

[HottieMama]

Hope no one minds the bump...

 

[kayte]

Hi all.

I think it is time for a bump to this thread as there is so much information that can help people that don't understand what has or is happening.

 

[kayte]

Hi all, thought I'd bump this thread and put some of the details that have been posted earlier on the thread in this post.

Hope it has been a great weekend.

Bumping this thread as Sub Drop, or just plain Dropping is important for people to know about.

I know that from hearing of a friend of mine who experienced an intense session with two men. She had wanted it, and the three of them arranged it and had a good time. It was not in any way a D/s event.

A few days later, one of the men involved mentioned to me that "she" the woman they had played with was all depressed.

I asked him for the details of what they all did, and for the details of what they all did to "recover", to come down from the play. It was rather intense, but nothing out of line.

They all had had time constraints, and they separated and went their seperate ways almost immediately.

After hearing the tale, the first thought I had was "she dropped". It may not have been a scene in a D/s sense, but it was intense play, and the endorphins do flow.

I told him that, and I then had to explain it to him, and that it could happen after any intense play.

I offered to contact her, and let her know what I think was happening.

It turns out, she almost immediately responded to my message to her with, "Yes!!! That is it. That is how I feel."

I explained things to her as well as I could. When and how I experienced it, and how aftercare from my Sir was so important.

She says I helped. I also suggested she make sure any other people she plays with, is aware that can happen, what they can do to make things better.

Yes Black Tulip ~ I am sure that is what it was. Any intense activity that calls the endorpins out, that make you feel so good can do that. Be it sex, running, swimming all kinds of things.

Your body just responded to the lack of endorphins as they left your body. I think knowing that is what it is helps people to realize what is happening.

I know when I am with my Sir I can feel the drop while with Him after an intense scene. He holds and helps me recenter myself. But those feelings do come back after we have separated, such as the next day.

Please remember you are ok, and think about how much fun it was. And how good it will be as you continue your journey. And please remember that is what it is. It isn't a race.

If you have any questions you don't want to put here, please feel free to PM me. But then sharing things on this thread allows it to help others.

Good afternoon Stag of Oberon ~ I am not a medical specialist, I do know from my Gram's symptoms and treatment that depression is in many cases caused by a chemical imbalance or change.

Sub drop is the body's reaction to the easing of the endorphins that were released, and when the "good feelings" decrease the body feels "sad". Thus a chemical change. I know in my case and in the case of many I have talked to, either here, on the phone, even in person; the knowing what can be causing that helps so much.

Perhaps it doesn't fit the scenario earlier, but it may help sometime in the future.

Have a fantastic afternoon/evening.

 

[kayte]

A gentle bump