Submissive/Slave Haven

[intothewoods]

I now understand why everyone wants to smack you upside the head (hard) all the time. Do you insult people's intelligence so readily in RL too?

It would explain all of those dents in his head.

 

[Velvet Bubbles]

It would explain all of those dents in his head.

I wondered what those were.

 

[intothewoods]

Love ya, Chris! Anyhoo...

I'm angsting a bit over my single gal life. I have this regular play partner who I really like. We are not exclusive, and I go play at parties with other people/friends all the time. However, I recently met another guy who was sort of out of the scene for a while and wants to play in private. He's sweet and pretty experienced, so what the heck. But regular play partner tells me, uh yeah, I'm not going to be cool with you having another regular play partner btw.

So hmm. I could play with this other guy once and that would be that. Maybe it'll just be okay. But if we wants to play again, how the hell do I explain gee, we can play, but only on an irregular basis? And isn't that kinda treading into relationship territory? Or should I just not worry about it?

Why am I a fucking relationship magnet?

And if I do decide that okay, regular play partner's terms and conditions are acceptable, should I tell second guy - hey, I have a regular partner and this can't be regular? But we could play at parties? Fuck a duck. Not dating is supposed to be SIMPLE.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Love ya, Chris! Anyhoo...

I'm angsting a bit over my single gal life. I have this regular play partner who I really like. We are not exclusive, and I go play at parties with other people/friends all the time. However, I recently met another guy who was sort of out of the scene for a while and wants to play in private. He's sweet and pretty experienced, so what the heck. But regular play partner tells me, uh yeah, I'm not going to be cool with you having another regular play partner btw.

So hmm. I could play with this other guy once and that would be that. Maybe it'll just be okay. But if we wants to play again, how the hell do I explain gee, we can play, but only on an irregular basis? And isn't that kinda treading into relationship territory? Or should I just not worry about it?

Why am I a fucking relationship magnet?

And if I do decide that okay, regular play partner's terms and conditions are acceptable, should I tell second guy - hey, I have a regular partner and this can't be regular? But we could play at parties? Fuck a duck. Not dating is supposed to be SIMPLE.

IMHO, your present play partner is overstepping the boundaries hugely. If you do not have a relationship and are only play partners, it is not normal to place limits on you as you have not submitted to that or them.

Catalina

 

[intothewoods]

IMHO, your present play partner is overstepping the boundaries hugely. If you do not have a relationship and are only play partners, it is not normal to place limits on you as you have not submitted to that or them.

Catalina

Oh, I probably should have worded that a little better. He's not saying I can't. He's just saying that he isn't comfortable with having a regular play partner who also has another regular partner. So basically it's my decision. And his reason is that his feelings are involved. Which basically means that well, we've both overstepped the boundaries. Shit.

 

[Netzach]

If you are ready to be in a relationship, be in one. You haven't overstepped anything at all - you have to now decide what you'd like to do.

If you are not in a serious relationship, being told who you can and can't see and how often and thinking that my desires should affect your behavior is -- placing you in a relationship.

If that's what you want, go for it. If that's not what you want, you will have to disappoint the person who wants to be in a relationship with you. Sucks.

I was really enjoying my time with a woman who knew I was with my Bull and knew the parameters of the rel. While we were getting to the point where I was going to let her in my pants it was all well and cool. Literally the morning after I bottomed to her all of a sudden she was NOT OK with sharing me.

I had to disappoint her. It wasn't fun, but I wasn't ambiguous about any of it. It was her right to feel bad about my other relationships, but it was also my right to make them a contingency of mine.

 

[intothewoods]

If you are ready to be in a relationship, be in one. You haven't overstepped anything at all - you have to now decide what you'd like to do.

If you are not in a serious relationship, being told who you can and can't see and how often and thinking that my desires should affect your behavior is -- placing you in a relationship.

If that's what you want, go for it. If that's not what you want, you will have to disappoint the person who wants to be in a relationship with you. Sucks.

I was really enjoying my time with a woman who knew I was with my Bull and knew the parameters of the rel. While we were getting to the point where I was going to let her in my pants it was all well and cool. Literally the morning after I bottomed to her all of a sudden she was NOT OK with sharing me.

I had to disappoint her. It wasn't fun, but I wasn't ambiguous about any of it. It was her right to feel bad about my other relationships, but it was also my right to make them a contingency of mine.

Yep. You got it.

Well, really I feel like I may very well want to be in a relationship with him at some point. But I haven't been single in so long that I feel like I should do some thinking about what I really want and need.

At the end of the day, if I want to play with this other guy again, or to even have the option, I will have to disappoint him.

I really enjoy his company. He's mellow and easygoing, and funny and doesn't take himself too seriously. He dominates me in the bedroom, and has just that hint of toppy toppy that I like so much on the outside. We get along so well, and the sexual chemistry is dynamite. I go to him to have a place to just chill out, which is part of the more than a play partner thing that I know I probably shouldn't do...but oh it just feels good so I do.

Well, I know that I want the option of being able to play with who I want, when I want and I will have to tell him that.

 

[intothewoods]

Bumping the intothewoods support thread, lol...

So my ego is taking a bruising lately. I've been feeling a drop in interest - like I'm stale now and not so exciting. Still playing with the regular, who is awesome, and another Top friend of mine, actually, but Tops in the scene seem to be kind of over me in general.

I get the feeling that because I am new and not really sure what I'm looking for, I'm not all that appealing anymore. I dunno. I guess I'm just struggling to find my way in the scene.

I think part I feel a bit miffed that a lot of people who seem ohsointerested you, really just want to bang you out. And if you tell them no, they aren't all that cool about it.

 

[Netzach]

So my ego is taking a bruising lately. I've been feeling a drop in interest - like I'm stale now and not so exciting. Still playing with the regular, who is awesome, and another Top friend of mine, actually, but Tops in the scene seem to be kind of over me in general.

I get the feeling that because I am new and not really sure what I'm looking for, I'm not all that appealing anymore. I dunno. I guess I'm just struggling to find my way in the scene.

I think part I feel a bit miffed that a lot of people who seem ohsointerested you, really just want to bang you out. And if you tell them no, they aren't all that cool about it.

What do you mean, like they know where your limits lie, hit them and then "oh ok, next?"

 

[intothewoods]

What do you mean, like they know where your limits lie, hit them and then "oh ok, next?"

No, more like, they all want to do more extreme stuff, and I'm somewhat skittish. And then in general, I think I've been saying no and it's rubbed people the wrong way. Or I don't have particular fantasies, so I have no ideas of my own.

You know, on the one hand it's nice that my group is such an open group sexually, and not so formal bdsm. On the other hand, it feels like there is always a lot of emphasis on the fucking.

 

[Netzach]

No, more like, they all want to do more extreme stuff, and I'm somewhat skittish. And then in general, I think I've been saying no and it's rubbed people the wrong way. Or I don't have particular fantasies, so I have no ideas of my own.

You know, on the one hand it's nice that my group is such an open group sexually, and not so formal bdsm. On the other hand, it feels like there is always a lot of emphasis on the fucking.

Ah. Yeah. Compatible motivation is hard to find no matter where ya go. Bummer.

 

[intothewoods]

Not sure where to put this, but what the heck...

So I'm back from "camp" - a retreat of sorts that mixes all sorts of communities: bdsm, poly, swinger, pagan, transgender/queer/gender queer... for workshops and play events.

It was really pretty cool, although I did a lot of watching and not as much participating. I had been feeling pretty protective of myself lately, and had pulled back from playing with new people, so I knew I wasn't going to cut loose and go crazy there. I just wasn't feeling it. In the end, I'm glad I didn't, because now I feel like I got my feet wet, and have some ideas for next time.

Some of the interesting things...

Petting zoo! I participated in this because a friend of mine was running it, though it's not really my bag. I dressed like a sexy bunny, and didn't act like a real pet. My pet trick was looking cute, lol. I did get my flirt on at the petting zoo with a total hottie, so that was good. More about him later...Anyway, so I'd never seen puppy play or pony play, and wow, it was a trip! People just cut loose and really got into it. I found it hilariously fun to watch.

There was one woman who was a panther, and she was "dangerous." It was a totally different energy than the other pets, so later I asked her what she got out of it. I didn't know her, so I didn't know she was actually a Top. She explained to me that as a Top, she feels she always has to be in control, and looking out for the bottom. When she's panther, the bottom has full warning that anything can happen - it's instinctive play and animalistic and primal. She just lets go. Anyway, interesting talk.

There was one play event called the Garden of Carnal Delights, which was pretty intriguing. There were all sorts of rooms - a makeout room, an orgy room, a peep show and a brothel. There were whores at the brothel and a pimp, and you could "pay" them for services. I think next year, I'd like to do a scene where I'm a whore with my client and we use the space. I think it would be really cool, but I'd feel safer doing it with one person.

Overall at the event, there were a lot of swinger guys there just looking to get laid. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just didn't want to fuck them. And I got tired of saying no all the time. Eh well, I dealt with it.

Saturday night, I did get my groove on with the aforementioned hottie. Yeah, that was fun. It was really odd to fool around with someone not D/s. It's been so long! I was like, oh, shit, I have to tell him what to do, don't I? But then again, he'll actually do it! Not that my Top won't, but...I don't know...it's a different energy - the oohIhavehimwrappedaroundmyfinger energy. I like a little of that, now and again, I think. But it's not really my preferred dynamic. Give me too much of that and I go drunk with power.

I think that's all. My vintage merry widow was a huge hit, btw. I think I like the vintage pinup girl vibe and may stick with it.

 

[intothewoods]

Ooh, yay, I got an email from the hottie. I needed an ego boost after Mr. Canadian, this other dude I was flirting with, cancelled on me last week.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Not sure where to put this, but what the heck...

So I'm back from "camp" - a retreat of sorts that mixes all sorts of communities: bdsm, poly, swinger, pagan, transgender/queer/gender queer... for workshops and play events.

Sounds like you had fun.
Did you happen to take any pics?
The petting zoo sounds interesting.

 

[intothewoods]

Sounds like you had fun.
Did you happen to take any pics?
The petting zoo sounds interesting.

No pics - you are not allowed to take pictures at camp. In fact, some dude was taking pictures and his camera was confiscated, and he was ejected from camp.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Not sure where to put this, but what the heck...

So I'm back from "camp" - a retreat of sorts that mixes all sorts of communities: bdsm, poly, swinger, pagan, transgender/queer/gender queer... for workshops and play events.

It was really pretty cool, although I did a lot of watching and not as much participating. I had been feeling pretty protective of myself lately, and had pulled back from playing with new people, so I knew I wasn't going to cut loose and go crazy there. I just wasn't feeling it. In the end, I'm glad I didn't, because now I feel like I got my feet wet, and have some ideas for next time.

Some of the interesting things...

Petting zoo! I participated in this because a friend of mine was running it, though it's not really my bag. I dressed like a sexy bunny, and didn't act like a real pet. My pet trick was looking cute, lol. I did get my flirt on at the petting zoo with a total hottie, so that was good. More about him later...Anyway, so I'd never seen puppy play or pony play, and wow, it was a trip! People just cut loose and really got into it. I found it hilariously fun to watch.

There was one woman who was a panther, and she was "dangerous." It was a totally different energy than the other pets, so later I asked her what she got out of it. I didn't know her, so I didn't know she was actually a Top. She explained to me that as a Top, she feels she always has to be in control, and looking out for the bottom. When she's panther, the bottom has full warning that anything can happen - it's instinctive play and animalistic and primal. She just lets go. Anyway, interesting talk.

There was one play event called the Garden of Carnal Delights, which was pretty intriguing. There were all sorts of rooms - a makeout room, an orgy room, a peep show and a brothel. There were whores at the brothel and a pimp, and you could "pay" them for services. I think next year, I'd like to do a scene where I'm a whore with my client and we use the space. I think it would be really cool, but I'd feel safer doing it with one person.

Overall at the event, there were a lot of swinger guys there just looking to get laid. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just didn't want to fuck them. And I got tired of saying no all the time. Eh well, I dealt with it.

Saturday night, I did get my groove on with the aforementioned hottie. Yeah, that was fun. It was really odd to fool around with someone not D/s. It's been so long! I was like, oh, shit, I have to tell him what to do, don't I? But then again, he'll actually do it! Not that my Top won't, but...I don't know...it's a different energy - the oohIhavehimwrappedaroundmyfinger energy. I like a little of that, now and again, I think. But it's not really my preferred dynamic. Give me too much of that and I go drunk with power.

I think that's all. My vintage merry widow was a huge hit, btw. I think I like the vintage pinup girl vibe and may stick with it.

I think the petting zoo sounds really interesting. I would love to go to something like that sometime. It sounds like my kind of play party.

 

[eastern sun]

release

release (verb) 1. to set free from restraint, confinement, or servitude; to let go; dismiss; 2. to relieve from something that confines, burdens, or oppresses; 3. the act or an instance of liberating or freeing (as from restraint) 4. to give up in favor of another 5. to make available to the public

release (noun) 1. relief or deliverance from sorrow, suffering, or trouble 2. discharge from obligation or responsibility; relinquishment of right or claim 3. the act or an instance of liberating or freeing (as from restraint); the act or manner of ending a sound 4. the state of being freed


- Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary


So why is this something we don't want?

 

[CutieMouse]

I didn't want to say anything publicly until I was sure all hope was lost, but it looks like I won't be relocating to be with Jeffrey. I'd rather not discuss it publicly; I don't need all sorts of cyber-hug emotional propping up; I'd rather not have this little blurt turn into a bash-fest.

I've not decided if I'm reactivating my personals ad at Lit/CollarMe right away, or taking a bit of down time to evaluate things... we'll see.

Sigh... how terribly dissapointing this all turned out to be.

 

[Netzach]

*bashing free hugging for CM*

Sometimes I'm bummed because I know that I'm probably doomed to be a little more into the effort of being his bottom than he is going to be into the effort of being my top. It's not a relationship killer, it's just kind of a bummer. It's probably also a hazard of not being able to stand guys who clock in much higher on the alpha meter.

 

[CutieMouse]

*bashing free hugging for CM*

Sometimes I'm bummed because I know that I'm probably doomed to be a little more into the effort of being his bottom than he is going to be into the effort of being my top. It's not a relationship killer, it's just kind of a bummer. It's probably also a hazard of not being able to stand guys who clock in much higher on the alpha meter.

It's kind of a more complicated version of that. Sigh. He hasn't behaved well, but I still think he's probably a good man... one who makes poor choices (IMO), but good.

Blech.

 

[intothewoods]

I didn't want to say anything publicly until I was sure all hope was lost, but it looks like I won't be relocating to be with Jeffrey. I'd rather not discuss it publicly; I don't need all sorts of cyber-hug emotional propping up; I'd rather not have this little blurt turn into a bash-fest.

I've not decided if I'm reactivating my personals ad at Lit/CollarMe right away, or taking a bit of down time to evaluate things... we'll see.

Sigh... how terribly dissapointing this all turned out to be.

That sucks ass, and that's all I'll say.

 

[esclave_PP]

sorry to hear all the sadness and sighing. i hope that more positive vibes and energy come to everyone soon. i haven't been around in awhile, so just saying hey and hope that all is good and right and not too far right

Hugs to those that need them.

 

[callinectes]

I didn't want to say anything publicly until I was sure all hope was lost, but it looks like I won't be relocating to be with Jeffrey. I'd rather not discuss it publicly; I don't need all sorts of cyber-hug emotional propping up; I'd rather not have this little blurt turn into a bash-fest.

I've not decided if I'm reactivating my personals ad at Lit/CollarMe right away, or taking a bit of down time to evaluate things... we'll see.

Sigh... how terribly dissapointing this all turned out to be.

Okay fine then, I'm not hugging you and I'm not bashing J. I will say I am very sorry things didn't turn out as you hoped.

 

[wenchhh]

Just thought I'd post a new thread here. Ok, so it's been a few months since my first thing. I've discovered some preferences I didn't know I had. NOW what do I do? There is a Dom in my life, but we're not exclusive. He likes me, says I have potential, but I don't think I"ll ever get into this guys heart, and that seems to be where I feel I need to be. I've chatted with a few DaddyDoms, and tho I LOVE the emotional/psychological interaction that is going on there, they seem to lack that little smidgen of "geoff-like" sadism that a part of me needs to know is there, and has the potential to appear if I don't tow the line. I don't dare tell this guy of my needs, for fear he'll set me free. I AM learning things from him, and I DO care about him, but... shrug. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Feel free to private IM me as well if that's easier. Thanks!

 

[HottieMama]

Just thought I'd post a new thread here. Ok, so it's been a few months since my first thing. I've discovered some preferences I didn't know I had. NOW what do I do? There is a Dom in my life, but we're not exclusive. He likes me, says I have potential, but I don't think I"ll ever get into this guys heart, and that seems to be where I feel I need to be. I've chatted with a few DaddyDoms, and tho I LOVE the emotional/psychological interaction that is going on there, they seem to lack that little smidgen of "geoff-like" sadism that a part of me needs to know is there, and has the potential to appear if I don't tow the line. I don't dare tell this guy of my needs, for fear he'll set me free. I AM learning things from him, and I DO care about him, but... shrug. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Feel free to private IM me as well if that's easier. Thanks!

If you can't be honest with this guy about your needs, then how much potential does the relationship really have in the long run? Perhaps he does have the sadistic side that you need, but you are never going to know unless you say something. If he doesn't then you will know if you should fully invest yourself in this relationship or continue to look elsewhere.

That said, there are DaddyDoms out there that are indeed a bit (sometimes more than a bit) sadistic as well. Might be harder to find one, but if that is the "package" you want, don't stop looking for it. Also, i would urge you not to get hung up on if someone identifies as a Daddy or not, before you really get to know them. It has been my experience, that just as some that call themselves Daddy aren't, some that don't call themselves Daddy CERTAINLY are.