Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Trubbycat]

Women keep making excuses for touching my junk in public.

 

[cascadiabound]

I'm a gambler and I can't go home

 

[Trubbycat]

Sure. Why not.

I volunteered as a fluffer once. I thought it was making the pillows comfortable for the actors. Boy was I surprised.

 

[Ingenue844]

I’m doing ok. Everything is fine.

 

[zydrate]

I'm gorgeous lol

 

[steelyblue73]

Ye has chosen me as his running mate! 24’ or bust!

 

[LizVegas79]

I'm gorgeous lol

Gorgeous is the same as beautiful so you're lying about lying Z!

I have no idea to play poker or even shuffle a deck of cards (but we can still play if you like )

 

[zydrate]

Gorgeous is the same as beautiful so you're lying about lying Z!

I have no idea to play poker or even shuffle a deck of cards (but we can still play if you like )

thanks!

I can teach you... at least with cards but you might have other things to teach me

 

[Trubbycat]

I can't stand near the cucumbers in the store because women keep "accidentally" grabbing me.

 

[Isevil1976]

I’d be content never having sexual contact again as long as I live

 

[ReadyForMore22]

Our most popular female posters keep inundating my inbox with their most private photos

 

[English_guy_bkk]

Its a blatant lie that I i have imagined @stickygirl and myself thumbing a lift through central America and having to share a small tent every night.

 

[stickygirl]

Its a blatant lie that I i have imagined @stickygirl and myself thumbing a lift through central America and having to share a small tent every night.

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/S/aplus-media/vc/f69ff95e-a82d-4eae-90cb-b9d653da0e6b.__CR27,0,686,686_PT0_SX300_V1___.jpg

 

[Hodes101]

My penis scaf doesn't quite cut it today.

 

[TallGlassOfSarcasm]

I love....LOVE Zoom meetings that repeat the same stuff I have been proficient in for over a decade! And if they lost well over an hour....that is so much more awesome!

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Ahem.... *singing*:

"I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical"

 

[English_guy_bkk]

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/S/aplus-media/vc/f69ff95e-a82d-4eae-90cb-b9d653da0e6b.__CR27,0,686,686_PT0_SX300_V1___.jpg

Checking the finger sandwiches you are rustling up.

 

[NakedNymph]

I love....LOVE Zoom meetings that repeat the same stuff I have been proficient in for over a decade! And if they lost well over an hour....that is so much more awesome!

I totally don't like being bottomless on Zoom meetings (not that I have many Zoom meetings now that we're back in-person), or even better fully naked if I get to have my camera off. It doesn't add a whole new thrill to play with myself knowing that no one on the other side knows what I'm doing

Though I guess you're probably in an office instead of being in your room, which sucks

 

[UsuallyPresent]

If your top was too loose some guy on zoom would stand just to try to look down hahahaha

Just lean over to snag your coffee or pet the cat or something.

 

[TallGlassOfSarcasm]

I totally don't like being bottomless on Zoom meetings (not that I have many Zoom meetings now that we're back in-person), or even better fully naked if I get to have my camera off. It doesn't add a whole new thrill to play with myself knowing that no one on the other side knows what I'm doing

Though I guess you're probably in an office instead of being in your room, which sucks

I am not at all paranoid about trying a thing like that when working remote.

Nope. Not even a little bit.

I completely trust the glue on the back of the post it not I have in front of my camera would hold.

(If my tone is in doubt, see thread title and my user name for clarification)

 

[UsuallyPresent]

the cat in your lap as you move your hand up and down petting him

Classy. Nice white longhair cat, and a tight black turtleneck, Ms Blowfeld?

 

[English_guy_bkk]

I don't fancy @stickygirl any longer.

Well for an hour!

 

[Somethingdifferent74]

I don't drive more than 50 miles a week

 

[Artfan2]

the cat in your lap as you move your hand up and down petting him

Of course, no one watching you knows that there's a cat in your lap while they see your hand moving.

 

[Artfan2]

yeah but their eyes wide open

And maybe the cat digs her claws in a little to give you an intense facial expression. Haha, people will be talking.