tell him I love him

[intriguess]

NOT during sex.

I'm not the type to talk about emotions and craps (my BFF says I need to be more of a girl in my romantic relationship)

So I used to say it when I felt it, which perturbed my first lover as I would only say it during sex. Since then I've loved and been loved by others and am now with a great guy, who I would love to tell that I love him, but I don't want it to be during sex, and I don't want it to come across as I'm only saying this because he wants me to say this.

I think I've rambled enough

advice from both genders appreciated.

 

[tcook]

Just tell him every so often, when he comes home from work, or anytime during the day. Ask how his day went or just do little things randomly that are a sign of your love.

 

[CherryBomb24]

when he reaches for a kiss, or a hug. just look him in the eyes and say it.
it shouldnt sound forced, but said at random. ya know what i mean.

 

[kaycee217]

intriguess,

How sure are you that your guy loves you?

 

[StrayKat]

So I used to say it when I felt it, which perturbed my first lover as I would only say it during sex.

Well imo there was something wrong with your first lover, what is the better time to say you love somebody than when you feel most intimate. I never had a guy who would mind that.

I think you should say it exactly when you feel it, no matter when and where. If he has problem with that, I would rethink your relationship.

 

[silverwhisper]

i like kaycee's question. as a follow-up, how does he express it?

why is it hard to say those 3 words? if you feel it, i really don't understand why it's hard to express it. ?

ed

 

[intriguess]

he typically goes for the

I love being with you
I love your smile
I love the way your hair smellls
I love how you kiss

and the whole discussing about imagining us having kids, getting married, pretty much tells me he loves me. I just know it.

re:silverwhisper's question

I'm more of a doer than a sayer, but feel it's nice to hear the words, I'm just more likely to pull him in for a kiss, and run my hands up and down his back than say, "Honey I love you."

 

[Cattypuss]

The last time I said it was first thing in the morning, immediately after waking, as he pulled me into him for a hug.

 

[kaycee217]

he typically goes for the

I love being with you
I love your smile
I love the way your hair smellls
I love how you kiss

and the whole discussing about imagining us having kids, getting married, pretty much tells me he loves me. I just know it.

re:silverwhisper's question

I'm more of a doer than a sayer, but feel it's nice to hear the words, I'm just more likely to pull him in for a kiss, and run my hands up and down his back than say, "Honey I love you."

Just do that then. If you have those feelings and you know the person you're telling feels the same way, I don't think you can go wrong telling them you love them.

I'm like you, I try to express my feelings through actions and not words, but this has never been because I was afraid of awkward moments or being spurned.

 

[Malvolio]

Don't say "I love you" first. Honestly. Let the guy say it first. It freaks some guys out if it comes too early. It's not a matter of WHERE you say it. It's WHEN it happens.

When a woman says it, it puts the guy on the hook. What can he do? If he loves you at that point (i.e. if he truly feels it), he'll say it then. BUT, if he doesn't YET feel it... what can he do? Lie and say he does when he doesn't? Or go "um, I, um... like you"? Either way, he's screwed.

I'm tellin' ya... DON'T say it. Let him say it first.

 

[StrayKat]

Don't say "I love you" first. Honestly. Let the guy say it first. It freaks some guys out if it comes too early. It's not a matter of WHERE you say it. It's WHEN it happens.

When a woman says it, it puts the guy on the hook. What can he do? If he loves you at that point (i.e. if he truly feels it), he'll say it then. BUT, if he doesn't YET feel it... what can he do? Lie and say he does when he doesn't? Or go "um, I, um... like you"? Either way, he's screwed.

I'm tellin' ya... DON'T say it. Let him say it first.

Heh, took me 3 damn years to tell my actual husband "I love you", I just never said it before and I was not the kind of person to express much feelings. I married him, no? That was supposed to mean I loved him, right?

If you feel it you say it, be glad you are capable of saying such thing. Took me time to learn it...

 

[silverwhisper]

intriguess quoth:
i'm more of a doer than a sayer, but feel it's nice to hear the words, i'm just more likely to pull him in for a kiss, and run my hands up and down his back than say, "honey i love you."

note the italicized portion. just something i wanted to draw to your attention. :>

ed

 

[shiny5437]

If saying the words make you feel uncomfortable then just bite the bullet and experience the uncomfortableness of it! You'll be getting out of your comfort zone which makes saying the words extra special.

How about next time you give your fellah a hug, man-up and do it!

 

[intriguess]

laughs at being told to man up since i'm a woman

 

[fire_breeze]

note the italicized portion. just something i wanted to draw to your attention. :>

ed

Echoed.

 

[m468h]

If you are so inclined, say 'I love you' or 'love ya' to anyone you have those feelings for, whenever you feel them.
whether or not they respond the same shouldn't matter...

at some point in your life you may regret NOT saying it to certain someones.

 

[Christo2k9]

I would tend to agree with you. My wife does the whole "I said I love you now you have to say I love you" thing so much it kind of belittles the meaning of it. It almost makes it like it's one of those "Marco...Polo" kind of things something is said in a patterned way and my response is supposed to follow that pattern. I'd rather show it and have it shown than it be rote. It makes it so that when it does come from her mouth whether it be spontaneous or not it doesn't mean that much to me. And that is sad.

 

[shiny5437]

We're gonna need closure on this one...

 

[Adakgirl]

Don't say "I love you" first. Honestly. Let the guy say it first. It freaks some guys out if it comes too early. It's not a matter of WHERE you say it. It's WHEN it happens.

When a woman says it, it puts the guy on the hook. What can he do? If he loves you at that point (i.e. if he truly feels it), he'll say it then. BUT, if he doesn't YET feel it... what can he do? Lie and say he does when he doesn't? Or go "um, I, um... like you"? Either way, he's screwed.

I'm tellin' ya... DON'T say it. Let him say it first.

I agree with Malvolio completely. If he feels they way you do he will tell you.
But seems to me that you want to tell him you love him, but that you don't want to say it during sex. Because you only express your deepest emotions during sex and with him you want it to be different. So wait until he tells you he loves you and then tell him...no matter where you are or what you are doing at the time.