Tell me about your transition from monogamy to non-monogamy or straight to bisexuality as a married/partnered couple.

[Bayzapper10]

My wife and I have been married 20+ years, went from straight and monogamous in about year ten to non-monogamous/polyamorous for a couple years, to non-monogamous and both seeking bisexual relationships this year. I would like to hear other couple’s experiences who have a similar story, the lead up, what the point of ignition for your change was, how your spouse either lead, resisted, or joined you, and the positives or any negatives you can share.

I love stories that have the first-time theme, they are my all time favorite subject. We are set to have several first-time experiences in the very near future (MMF threesome including bisexual male sex, first-time blowjobs, multiple cocks, etc.), and I want to hear what others have experienced. The upside of “the first time” is the fantasy you go into it having, the downside is reality rarely equals expectations, not always bad, but that is the thrust of why I am asking to hear from those more on the other side of it.

As background to our story: We were very religious when we met, raised by religious parents, friends and family were to for the most part. The initial experience began with a “crises of faith”, and my wife having an affair with a good friend of hers/ours. That transitioned to a de facto polyamorous relationship for a couple years. Last year my wife had a resurgence of her libido, to put it mildly, and she has been exploring aspects of her sexuality in multiple forms, mostly virtual so far, and we are doing as much together as she is comfortable with. Early on she told me that her biggest fantasy was for us to “blow a guy together”. I had no bi-curiosity prior to that revelation, but began thinking about it, challenging my long held prejudices and phobias. Through her we became involved with a chat group of bi-curious men and women that have been so positive and supportive (shout out to “The Buds”!), and we are now both very comfortable and excited about the next step of making her fantasy come true.

 

[PG564E]

My wife and I have been married 20+ years, went from straight and monogamous in about year ten to non-monogamous/polyamorous for a couple years, to non-monogamous and both seeking bisexual relationships this year. I would like to hear other couple’s experiences who have a similar story, the lead up, what the point of ignition for your change was, how your spouse either lead, resisted, or joined you, and the positives or any negatives you can share.

I love stories that have the first-time theme, they are my all time favorite subject. We are set to have several first-time experiences in the very near future (MMF threesome including bisexual male sex, first-time blowjobs, multiple cocks, etc.), and I want to hear what others have experienced. The upside of “the first time” is the fantasy you go into it having, the downside is reality rarely equals expectations, not always bad, but that is the thrust of why I am asking to hear from those more on the other side of it.

As background to our story: We were very religious when we met, raised by religious parents, friends and family were to for the most part. The initial experience began with a “crises of faith”, and my wife having an affair with a good friend of hers/ours. That transitioned to a de facto polyamorous relationship for a couple years. Last year my wife had a resurgence of her libido, to put it mildly, and she has been exploring aspects of her sexuality in multiple forms, mostly virtual so far, and we are doing as much together as she is comfortable with. Early on she told me that her biggest fantasy was for us to “blow a guy together”. I had no bi-curiosity prior to that revelation, but began thinking about it, challenging my long held prejudices and phobias. Through her we became involved with a chat group of bi-curious men and women that have been so positive and supportive (shout out to “The Buds”!), and we are now both very comfortable and excited about the next step of making her fantasy come true.

Hi, congratulations on you and your wife's hunger to reach for the stars sexually. Time goes so fast I hope you two act quickly but carefully also. I would like to PM you as I'm married, male, and love having sex with other men. Can give you insights into what I've done but must be discreet. I want to let your wife read my comments also.
Is it alright to message you?

 

[JohnyJ09]

I met my wife when I was 18 and she was a couple years older than me and clearly more experienced. Nonetheless, I was absolutely infatuated with her and admittedly, her sexuality was part of that attraction. She had told me about a threesome she had with twin brothers; a story that both aroused me but also made me feel slightly insecure and had me judging her a bit. She ended up cheating on me and we broke up, but during our breakup, all I could think about was her cheating and whatever else she was likely up to now that we were apart. When we reconciled, I couldn't help but ask for details of her infidelity. I also admitted to her that I was extremely curious about experiencing a threesome with her. We ended up having the great fortune of getting the opportunity to have a threesome with one of our co-workers. It was so enjoyable that it became a somewhat regular thing between the three of us. They ended up enjoying each other so much that they started to do their own thing behind my back as well which led to our second breakup.

Months later, she reached out to me and we inevitably reconciled again. By then, though, I knew that she simply was not going to be satisfied with just me and I proposed a non-monogamous relationship. It actually took her a bit to get into it but we got there. Over time I started to become curious about performing oral on other men and my wife was extremely supportive of me exploring that curiosity. She ended up finding a guy that was very much open to letting me go down on him and as much as I loved it, my wife was surprised by how much of a turn-on it was for her to watch me as well. While she's a bit too jealous to be okay with me having relationships with other women, she is completely okay with me having oral with other guys.

 

[magic_rat]

My transition started the day I met my partner. I met her via a swinging site and we met for sex, then just stayed together.

We both agreed early on that if we ever got into a relationship it would have to be open, as we both enjoy variety. We discussed options and decided that ethical non-monogamy was what we wanted.

It can be hard, because it requires total honesty, but it's rewarding too. She likes a lot of cock and I've been happy to share her with other men or for her to go off and fuck others, and I have other lovers on the side. We've also visited sex clubs where she's been gang-banged end enjoyed the glory holes.

I also told her about my bisexuality which she found really hot and she loves seeing me with another guy.

 

[SPARTAN047]

I haven't quite dived into polyamory.

I'm curious. I've fooled around with other couples a few times and watched them. Some wanted me as a regular lover, I think most wanted a one-off or we never met again. But I don't think I could easily share a proper sex partner or spouse.

Its exciting to be wanted by more than one person and be shared. It can be exciting to share someone you don't have too many feelings for and watch them being pleasured in front of you like you want others to watch you being pleasured. But it's very difficult for most people when you're truly in love with a person.

 

[GoodnessO]

I bought up the subject during pillow talk, after sex with my husband. Mind you, not comprehensive sex, but sex for us, such as it was/is. And for further contex, this was after we'd gone through a period of sexless years, which I eventually took the bull by the horns to address. I learned the reason my husband lost interest was because he had developed ED.
Sooo, back to the pillow talk scene, out of the blue, I asked my husband, "How would you feel if I fucked another man?" Uh huh, I'm a pretty blunt person... & my long-term loving husband is accustomed to, & accepting of that.
Hubby: "You're gonna do what you're gonna do." [Hmmm, he knows me so well.]
Me: "Would you want to watch? Or participate in any way?"
Hubby: "No."
Me: "Your sure?"
Hubby: "I'm sure."
Me: "I'm glad, but I figured I had to ask."
All my life, I felt I was monogamous, & mostly I was.... I was entirely monogamous with each of 2 husbands, & a live-in lover.
I wanted to be with just 1 lover. And my current husband always trusted me. I'm a very straight forward & honest person. He never questioned where I went or with who. I always had some male friends & project buddies, but he was never jealous or concerned.
Then suddenly I wasn't feeling monogamous anymore, because I was sexually unsatisfied, & I realized, no matter how hard I tried, it wasn't going to change... but at least we did regain & improve our physical & emotional intimacy.
A few weeks went by, & my mind was on cheating. Not for a thrill that cheating may bring some people. And then I did, & I did again, & a 3rd time. At which point I was resolved that I needed to follow-up on this with my husband. I was very tempted to tell him about my cheating, but I didn't, & looks like I won't... not unless he asks.
So, I bought up our sexlife for discussion.
Hubby: "I'm sorry, there's nothing more I can do for you."
Me: "You could grant me open marriage."
Hubby: doesn't respond.
Couple weeks later, I bring it up again.
Me: "You didn't respond when I suggested you grant me open marriage."
Hubby: "I thought I did."
Me: "No, you didn't. But tell me, what response did you think you told me?"
Hubby: "That you would, & I'm ok with it."
Me: "You definitely did not tell me that. But you're telling me that now?"
Hubby: "Yes."
Me: "You're ok with me dating, having extramarital sex, generally sleeping around?"
Hubby: "Well, yes... if that's what you want."
Then I got up, & I straddled my husband as he sat in his office style chair, & I gave him a big hug & a long deep kiss, & told him how much I love him.