The 50 Plus Cafe, Pub, All-Nite Greasy Spoon and Dive Bar

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It’s a quilted waistcoat with silver foil lining that heats off rechargeable batteries….bloody brilliant and cheap as chips. What else could it be???
Cheap as Chips is good...
What's a chip roll go for these days? When I was there (in the Dark Ages) they were 50p
Quite sure they cost a bit more these days - trying to get a baseline. :LOL:
 
Girl walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. So he gives it to her.

A Roman walks in to a bar and says “I’ll have a martinus.” The bartender says “you mean a martini?” The Roman replies “no, if I wanted a double I would have asked for one.”

What do you call a broken can opener? A can’t opener.

Why do people love Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.

Becoming vegetarian was a huge missed steak.

Did you hear about the sale on paddles? It was quite the oar-deal.

What do you call a dog magician? A Labracadabrador Retriever.

Straws are for suckers.

Why do Buddhist monks avoid sending word documents? They’re supposed to avoid attachments.

I don’t enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit.

I changed my phone’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
I like to go outdoors... its so much easier than going outwindows.
 
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