The appeal of Age Gap romances?

[EmilyMiller]

As an "older" woman (58F), I don't dislike age gap stories, because there's a market for everything. Some are really well-written and deserve all the accolades they've received.

Unfortunately, those types of stories just make me discouraged and disappointed. Mainly because I don't feel represented. They are reminders that I'm no longer a sexual being in the eyes of the romance/fiction industry. And definitely not in the eyes of men my age.

This is by no means a criticism of your story, just an observation from a longtime consumer of all genres of romance novels (from contemporary romance, to historical, to paranormal, romantasy, etc.) It sucks to get old.

I wish you the best as you move to publication. Your voice is important.

In the story I keep banging on about, the most forceful and dominant (not in a D/s way) character is the wife in the older couple.

UPDATE: And close to her is the younger sex worker - their dynamic is a central element.

 

[PennyThompson]

As an "older" woman (58F), I don't dislike age gap stories, because there's a market for everything. Some are really well-written and deserve all the accolades they've received.

Unfortunately, those types of stories just make me discouraged and disappointed. Mainly because I don't feel represented. They are reminders that I'm no longer a sexual being in the eyes of the romance/fiction industry. And definitely not in the eyes of men my age.

This is by no means a criticism of your story, just an observation from a longtime consumer of all genres of romance novels (from contemporary romance, to historical, to paranormal, romantasy, etc.) It sucks to get old.

I wish you the best as you move to publication. Your voice is important.

Actually I had also considered writing this as a lesbian age gap story

Depending on how it goes, I may write another story in the same setting with different characters!

 

[Zumbamami_69]

I would definitely read that!!!!

 

[ArdentHemingway]

lesbian age gap story

I have the beginnings of a story about an art student being "mentored" by a successful local artist along those lines. I also know how it ends. It's the middle part that I need to figure out.

But, mostly I write straight May/December romances.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Okay, good call. I'll have to think about how to do the shifting PoV, either alternating Close Third or some kind of omniscient Third...

Alternating close third. Problem solved.

Ooh this is interesting, I'll think about this! The Nostalgia part could be fun, but because of the timeline of the story the guy's nostalgia would probably mostly be for the 2010s, and I'm not sure how older Mature fans would receive that

I've just written a close third, zoomed in on the woman, who finds herself moving between now and twenty years earlier. Mainly because I wanted to write a sort of lost opportunity story from when I first started working. Needless to say, I dramatically cheated the timelines...

 

[metropolinational]

I'm married and have never cheated on my wife. However, I'm a professor at the kind of university that attracts its fair share of a very specific kind of young woman: beautiful but blossomed late, has been considered nerdy her whole life and is just coming onto her femininity in her mid 20s, comes from a strong family and has a strong relationship with her father (so her daddy issues are freudian, but not unhealthy), is super smart, worldly, well traveled, and feels far more comfortable sharing wine with a 50 year old than at a party with men her age.

Nearly every year, despite my best efforts, one of the new phd/masters cohort will take a strange and mildly inappropriate liking to me. It's very rarely two. It's generally just one and it's terribly obvious. It starts early on in their first year, and intensifies dramatically by the winter break. She will normally at this point have sought me out for extra office hours, requested a special studies project with me, and will have added me to her committees. By the summer, they've moved on. Many of them become some of the best students I've ever had, because they have bent over backwards and turned themselves into pretzels doing anything and everything I suggest they should do and diving head first into every opportunity and resource I give them. The flirting eventually transitions into an honest, unarmored familiarity. The fact that nothing ever happened also results in a super strong trust bond.

So, thats the background. To me, the characteristics I would say are most credible and unique to these types of relationships are the following. @EmilyMiller did a great job of catching most of these already, but I am listing mine because I have gone through this dance 20 or so times in my life already, and feel like there is a definite pattern.

1. He has something she wants for her future self and deeply looks up to him for having it. In this sense, the relationship is almost vampiric in that she has an endless craving to learn more about that thing.
2. Ironically, it is her energy that is like oxygen to him, not the other way around.
3. He's a good mentor and she's an extraordinary mentee.
4. The convenience aspect is not subtle, but her enthusiasm and intellectual motivation overwhelms the fact that she's being a bit mercenary.
5. She's an old soul. You have the sense that she will never bond with anyone her own age... until she meets the one.
6. There is no manipulation. He's too experienced to fall for any tricks and she's too brilliant to be led around by the nose.
7. However, she is a bit emotionally underdeveloped. She's crushing, sees it for what it is, and loves it.
8. Definitely comfort first, then intimacy - lots of intimacy for a long time, then sex. I'm speculating here. I have never gone so far as to kiss one of these women.

 

[TheLobster]

And then my other question is about PoV. Not that I'm looking to pander to an audience at the expense of my own interests and tastes, but is writing solely from the younger PoV a good idea, or would it be more emotionally (and sexually) resonant to try and write it from the mature PoV?

Both work. Stereotypically, the younger PoV will focus more on the emotional side of the attraction and the older one on the sexual/physical side, but it's by no means a hard-and-fast rule. You should consider what each side is putting in and getting out of the relationship, and that should help you decide which point of view works better for your story.

You can also alternate, which is what I did in my age gap story. However, the usual caveats about switching PoVs apply; mine was 30k words, so I could write different chapters from different perspectives, but if you're going for 10k or less, then frequent switching between scenes might get a little jarring.

Omniscient third I would consider last, mostly since you say it's a sci-fi story so some exposition of the world will be necessary. But the challenge in that PoV is to portray emotion without being too literal, and in a story that's not very plot-heavy emotion and sex is the main material you'll be filling it with so that downside of omniscient PoV becomes even more prominent.

 

[THBGato]

And then my other question is about PoV. Not that I'm looking to pander to an audience at the expense of my own interests and tastes, but is writing solely from the younger PoV a good idea, or would it be more emotionally (and sexually) resonant to try and write it from the mature PoV?

I think if you only wrote it from the mature PoV then it might become pure wish-fulfilment and could seem creepy. (Though, as it's you, probably not.) I think telling it from the younger PoV will be really helpful to sell the romantic aspect of this... and to reassure readers that she's not just after him for job-advancement purposes.

Third person is your friend here. it allows you to get inside both character's heads.

I respectfully disagree. I would go with both 1st person younger PoV, or alternating 1st person PoVs, over third person here. Third person could feel rather didactic , 'telling' the ready what to feel about the relationship, rather than showing us and allowing us to make up our mind.

But that's me.

That is quite the age gap!

I'm the younger in an age-gap marriage (nowhere near that extreme, but still considerable). What attracted me was how straight forward my now-wife was when we met. No games, no messing around; just direct. She knew what she wanted and was confident enough in herself to express that and go after it. Women my own age at that time - mid-twenties - had seemed flaky and insecure in comparison.

Power dynamics did come into it a little: she was earning a lot more (over double) when we met, had a prestigious job, and owned her own house. Not going to lie - that was hot! And also a relief. It took the pressure off me, and actually allowed me to take a year to retrain and embark on a new career. Now we're at earnings parity and we joke that she married her pension plan/live-in carer (probably true). And she's aging better than me, as one of my more disrespectful American colleagues loves pointing out regularly...

 

[EmilyMiller]

5. She's an old soul. You have the sense that she will never bond with anyone her own age... until she meets the one.

This .

For me: any man my own age… until I met the one.

Women my own age were different.

 

[Bazzle]

Hi friends!

So I'm working on a story (maybe for On The Job, though we'll see) set in the near future. The main PoV character (I think, more on that in a bit) is a young woman in her early twenties, working at a "Remediation and Reclamation" job, sorting and recycling the gigatons of old plastic and e-waste consumer crap that our culture currently produces in inconceivable quantities.

The story is partly an excuse for thinking through my own anxieties about the future, and exploring what a more hopeful future could look like once we decide to really start tackling the wicked problems of our world.

Anyway! I think that part of the story will be involve the young woman having a budding romance with her boss, an old Millennial, now in his eighties but looking more like a fit fifty due to advances in medicine and longevity therapies. A guy who has already lived a full life; raised a family; retired once; lost a wife to cancer decades ago; unretired... but still has who knows how many decades of life in him. So... a fairly dramatic, mildly sci-fi age gap

So that finally brings me to my questions, hopefully to hear from fans and writers of Mature, May/December, Age Gap type stories. What appeals to you in those stories?

• Is it the titillation or wish fulfillment of an oldster making it with a hot young thing?
• The sweetness of an older person rediscovering their spark via a younger person's enthusiasm?
• The differential power dynamic of experience vs. inexperience? Either with a nurturing mentoring flavor, or a darker exploitive flavor?
• Other dynamics or feelings that I'm not thinking of?

And then my other question is about PoV. Not that I'm looking to pander to an audience at the expense of my own interests and tastes, but is writing solely from the younger PoV a good idea, or would it be more emotionally (and sexually) resonant to try and write it from the mature PoV?

Or maybe I could alternate between the two viewpoints in some way?

Any and all observations, opinions, and advice would be extremely welcome

I think it plays into the lost father figure sort of world.

The older man can be wiser or twisted whichever way you play him, and it plays on him probably have money and the younger girl not. So he can support her.

I think you can bounce against the boundary of incest because he can play that fatherly figure...as well as the husband. She can be equally the naughty daughter/wife/girlfriend.

My smoking fetish romance story https://www.literotica.com/s/keep-rehearsing-and-keep-performing he is the much older neighbour, she is the younger 20 something.

The MMC laps up with caring fatherly figure whilst she falls in love with him and the fact he is supplying her cigarettes. In my story its still that coming of age summer...but it could have gone in other directions.

Think the "May to September" category is where wiser is not always so innocent, young innocence is something you can play with.

 

[PennyThompson]

I think it plays into the lost father figure sort of world.

The older man can be wiser or twisted whichever way you play him, and it plays on him probably have money and the younger girl not. So he can support her.

I think you can bounce against the boundary of incest because he can play that fatherly figure...as well as the husband. She can be equally the naughty daughter/wife/girlfriend.

Decidedly not a dynamic that appeals to me personally, but this is helpful to think about as something that I could accidentally and unwittingly convey

 

[WaxPhilosophic]

I've written a lot of age gap stories. Not as a fetish, but just because that's the way the characters are. Generally, the younger woman is a bit adrift, either through financial troubles or just youthful indecision. The older woman is a mentor / caretaker, and usually driven to succeed to the point of feeling like she's missed out on her carefree youth. Together they complement each other. The older woman providing security and stability, with the younger woman bringing exuberance and spontaneity.

For your view point question, I tend to do first person and alternate sections for each character. I've done some third person tales, but I find it more standoffish and harder to convey emotions.

If you want an example, I'll offer My Secretary, Cleopatra. A fun-loving domme-sub thruple story in which Mistress Natasha is bummed about her birthday, and her girls Charlotte and Juliet invite her along to a meeting posing as their secretary to cheer her up. Hijinks ensue. (Actually three first person POVs alternating in this one.)

Also, Neil Diamond songs referenced.

 

[ArdentHemingway]

I don't think you can really predict how the reader will interact with the story. I had someone read chapter 6 of my Claire series a while back. As I wrote it, I was focused on Claire, but the beta reader focused on the college professor she spends a night with.
Had I written it as first-person from Claire's POV, maybe it would be received differently, but I refuse to write female first-person POV -- I don't think I could pull it off.

(A man's got to know his limitations.)

 

[Erozetta]

Personally and simply, I just think older guys are more attractive and I find they need less "mothering" than younger guys in my experience.

I've been attracted to exactly two guys who were younger than me. Both younger than me by a month, so I don't think it actually counts. Beyond that I see a younger guy and think "Child"

With women, I'm more attracted to women my own age. A few years older or younger is fine, with no discernible thing that makes me roll my eyes and feel exhausted just for acknowledging their existence. Yes, I am biased, sorry.

 

[ArdentHemingway]

older guys ... need less "mothering"

I fear I may be the exception to that.

 

[Erozetta]

I fear I may be the exception to that.

So is my husband. He's lucky he made me laugh a lot.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Personally and simply, I just think older guys are more attractive and I find they need less "mothering" than younger guys in my experience.

I've been attracted to exactly two guys who were younger than me. Both younger than me by a month, so I don't think it actually counts. Beyond that I see a younger guy and think "Child"

With women, I'm more attracted to women my own age. A few years older or younger is fine, with no discernible thing that makes me roll my eyes and feel exhausted just for acknowledging their existence. Yes, I am biased, sorry.

That sounds very familiar.

 

[Bazzle]

Decidedly not a dynamic that appeals to me personally, but this is helpful to think about as something that I could accidentally and unwittingly convey

There maybe scope for looking at the plot line of the BBC comedy from the 1990's

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/May_to_December

Plenty of fun to be had- PE teacher and solicitor...

 

[Statius]

There doesn't need to be a power dynamic. Depending on how real you want your story to be, it doesn't have to be a younger woman crushing on an older guy who has knowledge or whatever uneven dynamic you're thinking. If it's reality you're shooting for.

I can tell you now any older guy doing warehouse work for most of his life has insecurities, real or imagined, and usually not around sex and relationships, unless he feels the/a woman he desires is out of his league; maybe due to education perhaps. Maybe due to his 'lack' of ambition ( see education above) due to lack of confidence; he sees potential in her? Mentors her?

And yes this dynamic works no matter the gender of said characters.

 

[feverdreamnine]

I’m loving this thread for all the story recommendation!

I’ve written a few age gap stories. Actually all of mine have an age gap to some degree or other. From the original post, the first bullet point is definitely a factor even if I hope it’s not the main one. It is fun to fantasize about a hot young thing. I think the second point is at the heart of it - an older person waking up to feelings they had almost forgotten by an unexpected flirtation/blossimg romance with someone much younger.

I always try to avoid the third bullet point dynamic. I’m sure that does something for some people, but a difference in power being exploited doesn’t make for a very good fantasy, or story, from my viewpoint. It’s possible that it’s there subconsciously.

To some extent, I just like the idea of unlikely pairings - people who normally wouldn’t expect to end up together. There’s something about the tension in mutual reluctance, neither really believing that the other is actually into them until one of them is bold enough to make a move. I usually like to write the older man as extremely reluctant - he is attracted to the young woman, very much so, but can’t imagine she’s into him until she makes it obvious. He doesn’t want to misread her signals and is hyper aware of how he comes off. So it’s usually the younger woman being aggressive, making the move. The older man has to be someone she feels very safe with. Often he’s spent his life avoiding compromising situations like this, trying to be the good guy, and it’s this one particular young woman who gets him to give in.

Of course, this does sound like wish fulfillment. It’s also, as with any story, better hinted at than stated outright.

As for point of view, I think any of them can work. I write from the man’s point of view since I’m a mid-fifties man. To some extent, the main character in my stories is some version of me, or at least who I could have possibly been given a few different circumstances, or at different points of my life. I’m writing my personal fantasies. But an alternating pov can be quite effective.

 

[Rob_Royale]

For me the attraction is based on my early sexual history.

 

[Actingup]

I think that, given that you've confirmed that it's going to be a real Penny Thompson story written by @PennyThompson, we can trust that it will avoid icky power dynamics and poor taste in general, unless you allow yourself to be overly influenced when you consult wiser minds on the musical choices in the story. That said, please feel free to consult, particularly if your MC finds an old turntable and some LPs in the junk pile and needs help.

Personally, I suggest sticking to female POV if you want the story to be an unfolding discovery - if you swap between them, you're giving away many secrets to your readers on what the other person really is like. We did alternate POV for that story, but that was for special reasons. I think that there are a lot of possibilities here - she could start off quite prejudiced against him because of his age and then fall in love with him for his mind and his wisdom (as they bond, for example, over that stack of old LPs), or she could not twig about his age, form a favourable impression, and then work through the issue. They could bond over their shared love of HG Wells or Shakespeare, or something that stems from a time that is almost as far removed from them both. They could bo military brats, but from different generations, and meet each other out of hours at the protest march against the (insert current insanity here). I think that it's important that he be fallible despite his age though, partly to avoid that power dynamic ick of the superior older man.

Not sure if any of that is useful, but, hey, it's a PennyThompsonTM story so it's going to be good.

Here's a bonus video of sensible young women listening to old man music. Imagine @old_prof walking in the shop and saying 'hey, I saw that tour...'

 

[big_cane_sugar]

Toxic mansplainer to the rescue.

When I was 30, I wouldn't have seen the appeal of an age-gap relationship. By the time I hit 50, I understood it. It's simply that in a superficial sense, 25-year-old women usually look better than 45-year-old women.

That's not taking into account things like power dynamics, daddy issues, etc...

 

[PennyThompson]

I think that, given that you've confirmed that it's going to be a real Penny Thompson story written by @PennyThompson, we can trust that it will avoid icky power dynamics and poor taste in general, unless you allow yourself to be overly influenced when you consult wiser minds on the musical choices in the story. That said, please feel free to consult, particularly if your MC finds an old turntable and some LPs in the junk pile and needs help.

Personally, I suggest sticking to female POV if you want the story to be an unfolding discovery - if you swap between them, you're giving away many secrets to your readers on what the other person really is like. We did alternate POV for that story, but that was for special reasons. I think that there are a lot of possibilities here - she could start off quite prejudiced against him because of his age and then fall in love with him for his mind and his wisdom (as they bond, for example, over that stack of old LPs), or she could not twig about his age, form a favourable impression, and then work through the issue. They could bond over their shared love of HG Wells or Shakespeare, or something that stems from a time that is almost as far removed from them both. They could bo military brats, but from different generations, and meet each other out of hours at the protest march against the (insert current insanity here). I think that it's important that he be fallible despite his age though, partly to avoid that power dynamic ick of the superior older man.

Not sure if any of that is useful, but, hey, it's a PennyThompsonTM story so it's going to be good.

Here's a bonus video of sensible young women listening to old man music. Imagine @old_prof walking in the shop and saying 'hey, I saw that tour...'

Okay, you are not allowed to read or comment on this one

 

[ArdentHemingway]

Well, I mean... _I_ get older, but magazine centerfolds don't. Somehow.