The appeal of Age Gap romances?

[WaxPhilosophic]

Obligatory Dazed & Confused quote...

 

[Bramblethorn]

Obligatory Dazed & Confused quote...
View attachment 2602501

 

[PennyThompson]

Ugh you guys are starting to make me rethink this whole story

 

[metropolinational]

Ugh you guys are starting to make me rethink this whole story

why? what's the problem?

 

[Bramblethorn]

So that finally brings me to my questions, hopefully to hear from fans and writers of Mature, May/December, Age Gap type stories. What appeals to you in those stories?

• Is it the titillation or wish fulfillment of an oldster making it with a hot young thing?
• The sweetness of an older person rediscovering their spark via a younger person's enthusiasm?
• The differential power dynamic of experience vs. inexperience? Either with a nurturing mentoring flavor, or a darker exploitive flavor?
• Other dynamics or feelings that I'm not thinking of?

Red Scarf isn't a romance as such, but I think it's close enough to be relevant here; it's about a long-term sexual relationship between two people who care about one another, one of whom ends up wanting it to be a romance.

TLDR power dynamic:

They meet when Anjali is a 16-year-old student and Sarah is her 23-year-old tutor. The sexual relationship starts seven years later, when ages are 23-30, and continues for about three years after that.

The power dynamic is one of the things I wanted to explore with that story, specifically how it shifts. As well as the age gap, Anjali starts out quite sheltered and inexperienced - in their first interactions her life is run by her parents, and at age 23 she's still trying to stand on her own two feet, whereas Sarah has a job that pays well enough for her to own her apartment and pay for Anjali's company. But Anjali grows up faster than Sarah, partly because of Sarah's help, and by the end of the story it's much more a relationship of equals. Sarah doesn't see this change clearly so she's still thinking of Anjali as a vulnerable protegé at the point where Anjali decides to strike out on her own.

I like ambiguities and grey areas in story-telling. The circumstances of their relationship aren't something that I'd call predatory, but they're close enough to it to cause some discomfort. (Sarah means well for Anjali, and mostly lands on the nurturing-mentoring side of things, but she doesn't fully understand her own motivations at the start of the relationship and fails to acknowledge that they're not as pure as they might be; I didn't quite realise this myself until a beta reader pointed it out and I thought, hmm, I'm going to run with it.) This shows up in other ways too - part of their relationship is BDSM play that involves roleplaying the "darker exploitative" scenario.

The idea that 23 vs. 16 is a much bigger gap than 30 vs. 23 or 32 vs. 25 seemed like an interesting thing to play with. Early on, Sarah has enough power in their relationship that she could badly hurt Anjali if she weren't careful; by the end of it, it's Anjali who has the power to cause Sarah some heartbreak by saying no.

 

[Actingup]

Ugh you guys are starting to make me rethink this whole story

Ok, possibly more serious advice this time now, still involving music. Listen to Rosalia's 'La Jugular' on the absolutely astounding 'Lux', with an English translation of the lyrics on hand. The lyrics of the second part of the song (and the inclusion of the Patti Smith quote) are a great example of reframing impossible dimensions. Treat the age difference like that. Smash it to pieces in a way that creepiness is far from our minds?

 

[old_prof]

The creepiness potential is why I want to write mine from the younger FMC POV.

I do not want to hear the Woody Allen perspective...

 

[Dodola]

Is this going to be a fanfic about Bill Belichick?

 

[PennyThompson]

Ok, possibly more serious advice this time now, still involving music. Listen to Rosalia's 'La Jugular' on the absolutely astounding 'Lux', with an English translation of the lyrics on hand. The lyrics of the second part of the song (and the inclusion of the Patti Smith quote) are a great example of reframing impossible dimensions. Treat the age difference like that. Smash it to pieces in a way that creepiness is far from our minds?

That song is intense... Okay, lots to think about!

 

[ArdentHemingway]

I'm thinking more like Aragorn and Arwen. When I'm 80 and she's 400... no, wait... 40. 40 is good.


Edit: I don't know why I always think of Arwen as 400 [ Arwen Undómiel was 2,778 years old during the events of "The Lord of the Rings". When she first met Aragorn, she was over 2,700 years old. ] , but it may be that I confuse her with Megonthalyä, who is (if I recall correctly) a 400 year old alien wWyh',j.