The Bears Den
- Thread starter MaryBears
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kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
MaryBears said:{{{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
My evening was good......Doing good but it is cold and snowing....not good for the RA......plus I over did it in my work out.....so my legs are sore but I will be fine
Hope your having a good evening....Take care
So sorry your legs are bothering you {{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}
My evening should be ok. Looking forward to dinner. I made a crockpot of chicken pasta soup. It is almost done. I may eat early today.
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
OH this one is so true.......
An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.
Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.
Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story?
If you try to please everyone, you might as well...
Kiss your “ass” good-bye.
An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.
Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.
Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story?
If you try to please everyone, you might as well...
Kiss your “ass” good-bye.
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
kayte said:So sorry your legs are bothering you {{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}
My evening should be ok. Looking forward to dinner. I made a crockpot of chicken pasta soup. It is almost done. I may eat early today.
{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}} Thanks but I will be fine.....
I am fixing myself some chicken and noodles......I have the chicken on cooking right now....I think I might fix so mashed potatoes to go with them....mmmmmmmmm sounds good.
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
MaryBears said:{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}} Thanks but I will be fine.....
I am fixing myself some chicken and noodles......I have the chicken on cooking right now....I think I might fix so mashed potatoes to go with them....mmmmmmmmm sounds good.
Mmmmm sounds marvelous!!!
brinkeedinkee
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2003
- Posts
- 1,183
"Premature Ejaculation"
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor.He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem. In response the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate try startling yourself".
That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion out he runs home to his wife. At home his wife is in bed, naked and waiting on her husband. As the two begin, they find themselves in the '69' position. The man, moments later, feels the sudden urge to come and fires the starter pistol.
The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?" The man answered, "Not that well...when I fired the pistol my wife crapped on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbor came out of the closet naked with his hands in the air!"
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor.He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem. In response the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate try startling yourself".
That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion out he runs home to his wife. At home his wife is in bed, naked and waiting on her husband. As the two begin, they find themselves in the '69' position. The man, moments later, feels the sudden urge to come and fires the starter pistol.
The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?" The man answered, "Not that well...when I fired the pistol my wife crapped on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbor came out of the closet naked with his hands in the air!"
brinkeedinkee
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2003
- Posts
- 1,183
Redneck Application...
Last name: ________________
First name: (Check appropriate box)
[_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue
Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
[_] Farmer [_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress
[_] Un-employed [_] Dirty Politician
Spouse's Name: __________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: __________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: __________________________
Lover's Name: _________________________
2nd Lover's Name: __________________________
Relationship with spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother [_] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [_] Daughter
[_] Cousin [_] Pet
Number of children living in household: _____
Number of children living in shed: _____
Number of children that are yours: _____
Mother's Name: _______________________
Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)
Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
Do you own a pickup:
[_] Yes [_] No (If no please explain:_____________________________)
Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194___
Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No (If no please explain:_____________________________)
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck ____ kitchen ____ bedroom ____ bathroom ____ shed
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] The National Enquirer [_] The Globe [_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest [_] Rifle and Shotgun
___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO
How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly [_] Monthly [_] Not Applicable
How many teeth? ___
Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow [_] Brown [_] Black [_] N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[_] Red-Man
How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 1 mile [_] 2 miles [_] don't know
Signature________________________________________
Of person reading application to applicant
Last name: ________________
First name: (Check appropriate box)
[_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue
Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
[_] Farmer [_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress
[_] Un-employed [_] Dirty Politician
Spouse's Name: __________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: __________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: __________________________
Lover's Name: _________________________
2nd Lover's Name: __________________________
Relationship with spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother [_] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [_] Daughter
[_] Cousin [_] Pet
Number of children living in household: _____
Number of children living in shed: _____
Number of children that are yours: _____
Mother's Name: _______________________
Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)
Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
Do you own a pickup:
[_] Yes [_] No (If no please explain:_____________________________)
Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194___
Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No (If no please explain:_____________________________)
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck ____ kitchen ____ bedroom ____ bathroom ____ shed
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] The National Enquirer [_] The Globe [_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest [_] Rifle and Shotgun
___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO
How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly [_] Monthly [_] Not Applicable
How many teeth? ___
Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow [_] Brown [_] Black [_] N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[_] Red-Man
How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 1 mile [_] 2 miles [_] don't know
Signature________________________________________
Of person reading application to applicant
brinkeedinkee
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2003
- Posts
- 1,183
These Are All Written By Jeff Foxworty...Try Not To Pee Your Pants
You might be a redneck if. . .
More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
You've ever used lard in bed.
Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
Your home has more miles on it than your car.
Your Christmas tree is still up in February.
You've ever been arrested for loitering.
You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.
There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.
You own a homemade fur coat.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.
Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.
There is a wasp nest in your living room.
The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.
You burn your front yard rather than mow it.
You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
Fewer than half of your cars run.
You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
The taillight covers of your car are made of tape.
Your car has never had a full tank of gas.
Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.
Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
Your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
Your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
Your momma doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her a--.
You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
Your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin' dog.
You're an expert on worm beds.
The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!"
Your family tree does not fork.
The flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls.
You haul more than U-Haul.
Your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"
There is a gun rack on your bicycle.
Your wedding was held in the delivery room.
Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.
Your wife's hairdo attracts bees.
Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."
The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
You pick your teeth from a catalog.
You've ever financed a tattoo.
You refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."
Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
Your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
The best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
You entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
You go to the family reunion to pick up women.
your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
You can't tell what color your car is because of the dirt.
You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
None of your shirts cover your stomach.
Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
You use the term `over yonder' more than once a month.
Birds are attracted to your beard.
The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute".
Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
Bikers back down from your momma.
You were shooting pool when your kids were born.
Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".
You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
You've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow.
.The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at, Shithead?"
You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
You've ever shot a deer from inside your house.
The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!", "HEY!" or "How Y'all Doin'?" (If they respond with the same... they're a redneck too!)
You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
You've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.
You clean your nails with a stick.
You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
Your Christmas cards have a copy of your butt included.
You might be a redneck if. . .
More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
You've ever used lard in bed.
Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
Your home has more miles on it than your car.
Your Christmas tree is still up in February.
You've ever been arrested for loitering.
You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.
There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.
You own a homemade fur coat.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.
Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.
There is a wasp nest in your living room.
The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.
You burn your front yard rather than mow it.
You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
Fewer than half of your cars run.
You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
The taillight covers of your car are made of tape.
Your car has never had a full tank of gas.
Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.
Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
Your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
Your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
Your momma doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her a--.
You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
Your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin' dog.
You're an expert on worm beds.
The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!"
Your family tree does not fork.
The flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls.
You haul more than U-Haul.
Your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"
There is a gun rack on your bicycle.
Your wedding was held in the delivery room.
Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.
Your wife's hairdo attracts bees.
Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."
The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
You pick your teeth from a catalog.
You've ever financed a tattoo.
You refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."
Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
Your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
The best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
You entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
You go to the family reunion to pick up women.
your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
You can't tell what color your car is because of the dirt.
You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
None of your shirts cover your stomach.
Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
You use the term `over yonder' more than once a month.
Birds are attracted to your beard.
The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute".
Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
Bikers back down from your momma.
You were shooting pool when your kids were born.
Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".
You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
You've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow.
.The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at, Shithead?"
You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
You've ever shot a deer from inside your house.
The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!", "HEY!" or "How Y'all Doin'?" (If they respond with the same... they're a redneck too!)
You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
You've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.
You clean your nails with a stick.
You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
Your Christmas cards have a copy of your butt included.
brinkeedinkee
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2003
- Posts
- 1,183
HOW was that mary???
brinkeedinkee
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2003
- Posts
- 1,183
OK...I have a stupid one...
There's this guy...he's not been on a vacation for YEARS b/c of his "pet" that he keeps in his basement. It's sort of like the tazmanian devil...he calls him his "monster in the basement."
No one in his neighborhood or his family/friends would sit with the animal b/c they were afraid of him.
Finally, a new neighbor moved in next door to him. He introduced himself to his new neighbor and asked him right away if he would consider feeding his "pet" while he was away for a few days.
The man, unknowing of what "pet" he would be taking care of, agreed. So, that day they went over and the guy showed him his lil monster. The man was frightened, but agreed still. He was told to throw the food and water in and just leave. Under NO circumstances should he leave the gate open or let the monster out. He said ok, and the guy left for vacation.....
The next day, the guy comes over and walks to the basement. The monster is sitting in the corner, and looks up to the man when he enters. The guy throws in the food and water and leaves.
Next day, guy does the same thing...and notices the monster sitting in the same corner, looking sad. He feeds and waters, and hesitates a moment. Then he remembers what the man had said, and leaves.
The next day the guy enters the basement only to find the monster in the corner, crying. He hasn't touched his food or water from the day before. He becomes worried, opens the gate and asked the lil guy if he is ok....
The monster, with a crazy look in his eyes, LEAPS up and runs for the neighbor guy...!
He chases him upstairs, through the house, out the back door, and into the yard. The man finds a corn field next to the house and runs for it...the monster chasing him. They run and chase all through the field until finally, it comes to an end.
In front of the man is a small airport with two airplanes. He jumps in one of them, and takes off! In the air, he gives a huge sigh of relief. From behind him, he hears another plane coming up quickly behind him, and it's the MONSTER!!! They fly and fly and fly, until finally the man notices he is running out of fuel...
He is, of course, above an ocean. He finds a tiny island nearby with only one treee and nothing else on it. He lands quickly as does the monster. The poor man runs to the tree, and the monster chases him crazily laughing....the lil monster chases him round and round that tree until the man cannot go any further. He finally leans against the tree, and slides down it to sit. He says to the monster, "Eat me, beat me, rape me, I just don't care anymore, I can't run!!!!!!" The monster, with that crazed looked in his eyes, his mouth watering, runs to the man, hands outstretched, stops suddenly in front of the man, ........
..........
........
...........
.........
..........
..........
...........
.............
........
..........
.........
.........
taps him on the shoulder and says "TAG, YOU'RE IT!!!!!!!"
mwahahahahahahhahaha
Brinky
There's this guy...he's not been on a vacation for YEARS b/c of his "pet" that he keeps in his basement. It's sort of like the tazmanian devil...he calls him his "monster in the basement."
No one in his neighborhood or his family/friends would sit with the animal b/c they were afraid of him.
Finally, a new neighbor moved in next door to him. He introduced himself to his new neighbor and asked him right away if he would consider feeding his "pet" while he was away for a few days.
The man, unknowing of what "pet" he would be taking care of, agreed. So, that day they went over and the guy showed him his lil monster. The man was frightened, but agreed still. He was told to throw the food and water in and just leave. Under NO circumstances should he leave the gate open or let the monster out. He said ok, and the guy left for vacation.....
The next day, the guy comes over and walks to the basement. The monster is sitting in the corner, and looks up to the man when he enters. The guy throws in the food and water and leaves.
Next day, guy does the same thing...and notices the monster sitting in the same corner, looking sad. He feeds and waters, and hesitates a moment. Then he remembers what the man had said, and leaves.
The next day the guy enters the basement only to find the monster in the corner, crying. He hasn't touched his food or water from the day before. He becomes worried, opens the gate and asked the lil guy if he is ok....
The monster, with a crazy look in his eyes, LEAPS up and runs for the neighbor guy...!
He chases him upstairs, through the house, out the back door, and into the yard. The man finds a corn field next to the house and runs for it...the monster chasing him. They run and chase all through the field until finally, it comes to an end.
In front of the man is a small airport with two airplanes. He jumps in one of them, and takes off! In the air, he gives a huge sigh of relief. From behind him, he hears another plane coming up quickly behind him, and it's the MONSTER!!! They fly and fly and fly, until finally the man notices he is running out of fuel...
He is, of course, above an ocean. He finds a tiny island nearby with only one treee and nothing else on it. He lands quickly as does the monster. The poor man runs to the tree, and the monster chases him crazily laughing....the lil monster chases him round and round that tree until the man cannot go any further. He finally leans against the tree, and slides down it to sit. He says to the monster, "Eat me, beat me, rape me, I just don't care anymore, I can't run!!!!!!" The monster, with that crazed looked in his eyes, his mouth watering, runs to the man, hands outstretched, stops suddenly in front of the man, ........
..........
........
...........
.........
..........
..........
...........
.............
........
..........
.........
.........
taps him on the shoulder and says "TAG, YOU'RE IT!!!!!!!"
mwahahahahahahhahaha
Brinky
Last edited:
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
Good afternoon
GROWING OLD
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and
challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know.
I stood up to look around, when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.
I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with asmile that lit up her entire being.
She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm 87years old.
Can I give you a hug" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!", and she gave me a giant squeeze.
Why are you in college at such a young innocent age", I asked.
She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get
married, have a couple of kids..."
"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated
her to be taking on this challenge at her age.
"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one"!, she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a
chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop.
I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she
easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students, She was living it up.
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our
football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her 3 x 5 cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed, she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry, I'm so jittery.
I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never
get my speech back in order, so let me just tell you what I know."
As we laughed, she cleared her throat and began, "We do
not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.
There are four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success.
You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!
There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are 19 years old and lie in bed for one full year and
don't do one productive thing, you will turn 20 years old.
If I am 87 years old and if I stay in bed for a year and never do anything, I will turn 88."
"Anybody can grow older, that doesn't take any talent or ability.
The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change. Have no regrets.
The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did,
but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."
She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The
Rose" and she received the college degree she had begun all those years ago.
One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her
sleep.
Over 2,000 college students attended her funeral in tribute to the
wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.
When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful
word of advice to your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it!
These words have been passed along in loving memory of
ROSE.
REMEMBER: GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS
OPTIONAL.
GROWING OLD
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and
challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know.
I stood up to look around, when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.
I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with asmile that lit up her entire being.
She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm 87years old.
Can I give you a hug" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!", and she gave me a giant squeeze.
Why are you in college at such a young innocent age", I asked.
She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get
married, have a couple of kids..."
"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated
her to be taking on this challenge at her age.
"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one"!, she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a
chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop.
I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she
easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students, She was living it up.
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our
football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her 3 x 5 cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed, she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry, I'm so jittery.
I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never
get my speech back in order, so let me just tell you what I know."
As we laughed, she cleared her throat and began, "We do
not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.
There are four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success.
You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!
There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are 19 years old and lie in bed for one full year and
don't do one productive thing, you will turn 20 years old.
If I am 87 years old and if I stay in bed for a year and never do anything, I will turn 88."
"Anybody can grow older, that doesn't take any talent or ability.
The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change. Have no regrets.
The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did,
but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."
She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The
Rose" and she received the college degree she had begun all those years ago.
One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her
sleep.
Over 2,000 college students attended her funeral in tribute to the
wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.
When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful
word of advice to your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it!
These words have been passed along in loving memory of
ROSE.
REMEMBER: GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS
OPTIONAL.
FRENCHIE44T
Lover of oral sex
- Joined
- May 27, 2003
- Posts
- 16,625
MaryBears said:Awesome Brinkee.......Keep that up and you will get to a 1000 post quickly....
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ MARY }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
And I'm not that far behind
I hope you are well
Lots of
and for you my dear friend.
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
FRENCHIE44T said:{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ MARY }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
And I'm not that far behind
I hope you are well
Lots of
{{{{{{{{{{{{{Frenchie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Oh your not are you at least from Brinky.....but from me well I got a lil more post than both of you
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