The beauty of submissive men

[MrRetro]

A re-post from my favourite Tumblr site...

http://41.media.tumblr.com/e1273672a4ed71db47bca1f3ddf9afd0/tumblr_nkrlksamCD1sfkfqio1_1280.jpg

 

[roxs12ems]

I would love to be a sub for a women one day haha

 

[eroticspank]

http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkjva3nPcU1qb7la7o1_500.jpg

Wow, nice pictures all of them....but this one I like the most.

ES

 

[Veroe]

Seems to me we need a new topic to discuss.

So new question: Is there such a thing as a Domme being cruel to be kind to you, and vice versa is there such a thing as a Domme being kind in order to cruel to you?

Under what cicumstances acting harsh and cruel a kindness or vice versa?

 

[eroticspank]

Seems to me we need a new topic to discuss.

So new question: Is there such a thing as a Domme being cruel to be kind to you, and vice versa is there such a thing as a Domme being kind in order to cruel to you?

Under what cicumstances acting harsh and cruel a kindness or vice versa?

I don't understand this one, please explain.

ES

 

[Veroe]

Basically I was reaching for a topic to discuss.

I was just musing about when a domme appears cruel and whether it's just her being mean towards her sub or whether there's circumstances its fulfilling a need for cruelty or punishment from the sub.

Basically trying to sort out the duality of cruelty and kindness.

 

[babyjane20011]

Thanks for sharing that with us, Erochic. I enjoyed reading the whole thing but especially enjoyed this part.

I sent you a message need help

nancy

 

[eroticspank]

Basically I was reaching for a topic to discuss.

I was just musing about when a domme appears cruel and whether it's just her being mean towards her sub or whether there's circumstances its fulfilling a need for cruelty or punishment from the sub.

Basically trying to sort out the duality of cruelty and kindness.

That is a tough one. Each Domme is different in my experience. In some cases what is seen as being kind, I imagine is being nurturing which women naturally have that ability. I feel that some Dommes are cruel because they feel like they have to be as part of the role. Either the sub expects it, society or both?

I bet Erochic and a few others on here would not like the term "Cruel" anyway. That implies being deliberately mean and I am not drawn to those type of Dommes.

Strict or demanding would work better for me. I have enjoyed demanding women who have taken control either as a Domme or just a woman who are more dominant in the bedroom.

Example: If I am being spanked and it is getting painful, she encourages me, massages my butt and whispers into my ear how many spanks to go. Another example: We are making love and she gets me to the edge of orgasm several times encouraging me to hold off and not orgasm when she does orgasm. We go out that night without me releasing until we get home. Both of these examples are not cruel as long as the woman is encouraging and helping vs humiliating and not caring.

ES

 

[eroticspank]

Another topic?

Basically I was reaching for a topic to discuss.

I was just musing about when a domme appears cruel and whether it's just her being mean towards her sub or whether there's circumstances its fulfilling a need for cruelty or punishment from the sub.

Basically trying to sort out the duality of cruelty and kindness.

My last post just made me think of another topic of discussion that might be good for this group. I noticed there was lots of discussion about orgasm before in this group so here is my topic.

Does a submissive guy lose his will to submit AFTER he has an orgasm?

I know some Dommes, don't let their sub orgasm at all or if they do it is only after they(the Domme) are completely satisfied and at the very end of a session.

It is like the sub is controlled by his dick and the lust he has for her, once his dick erupts the control the Domme has over the sub disappears.

However, this does not describe me at all. I have found that depending upon the circumstances before and after release, orgasm puts me DEEP into sub space, and I feel more connected to my Domme.

ES

 

[SultryKitten75]

My last post just made me think of another topic of discussion that might be good for this group. I noticed there was lots of discussion about orgasm before in this group so here is my topic.

Does a submissive guy lose his will to submit AFTER he has an orgasm?

I know some Dommes, don't let their sub orgasm at all or if they do it is only after they(the Domme) are completely satisfied and at the very end of a session.

It is like the sub is controlled by his dick and the lust he has for her, once his dick erupts the control the Domme has over the sub disappears.

However, this does not describe me at all. I have found that depending upon the circumstances before and after release, orgasm puts me DEEP into sub space, and I feel more connected to my Domme.

ES

I believe if you have a sub, where you loose control after allowing him to release...do you truly have a sub at all??
To me, a sub should want and feel a need for their Domme. To seek out what the Domme offers him. To want to appease her, above himself. All of this, should not be based on an orgasm, or even when and if, she will allow him to release. Should be much much deeper.

 

[eroticspank]

I believe if you have a sub, where you loose control after allowing him to release...do you truly have a sub at all??
To me, a sub should want and feel a need for their Domme. To seek out what the Domme offers him. To want to appease her, above himself. All of this, should not be based on an orgasm, or even when and if, she will allow him to release. Should be much much deeper.

Very well said, I completely agree. I am curious to read other opinions.


ES

 

[kindlykinky]

I believe if you have a sub, where you loose control after allowing him to release...do you truly have a sub at all??
To me, a sub should want and feel a need for their Domme. To seek out what the Domme offers him. To want to appease her, above himself. All of this, should not be based on an orgasm, or even when and if, she will allow him to release. Should be much much deeper.

Well said. Here here!

 

[turnofthepaige]

I believe if you have a sub, where you loose control after allowing him to release...do you truly have a sub at all??
To me, a sub should want and feel a need for their Domme. To seek out what the Domme offers him. To want to appease her, above himself. All of this, should not be based on an orgasm, or even when and if, she will allow him to release. Should be much much deeper.

This is very well said. I've found that through my limited experiences that having a good connection with a Domme is much more important than denial or allowing orgasm. I must say that when my ex would top me and allow me to cum that I would just feel an incredible bond with her that made me want to submit even more. Most subs don't stop being sub just because they cum, they submit because it is in their nature and they truly want to serve their Dominant and make him or her happy.

 

[Erosfan]

This is very well said. I've found that through my limited experiences that having a good connection with a Domme is much more important than denial or allowing orgasm. I must say that when my ex would top me and allow me to cum that I would just feel an incredible bond with her that made me want to submit even more. Most subs don't stop being sub just because they cum, they submit because it is in their nature and they truly want to serve their Dominant and make him or her happy.

This doesn't happen nearly enough in my world but, when my wife does take charge, I will do absolutely anything she wants any where she wants. She controls when and where I cum and after that I am even more committed to her.

 

[Monica_112]

http://41.media.tumblr.com/e1273672a4ed71db47bca1f3ddf9afd0/tumblr_nkrlksamCD1sfkfqio1_1280.jpg

This is beautiful

 

[Veroe]

My last post just made me think of another topic of discussion that might be good for this group. I noticed there was lots of discussion about orgasm before in this group so here is my topic.

Does a submissive guy lose his will to submit AFTER he has an orgasm?

I know some Dommes, don't let their sub orgasm at all or if they do it is only after they(the Domme) are completely satisfied and at the very end of a session.

It is like the sub is controlled by his dick and the lust he has for her, once his dick erupts the control the Domme has over the sub disappears.

However, this does not describe me at all. I have found that depending upon the circumstances before and after release, orgasm puts me DEEP into sub space, and I feel more connected to my Domme.

ES

I think this comments on one of the most important elements to any domme: Knowing your submissive. (Communication, communication, communication) If the sub wants the denial she should give him that. If he feels he needs to come to make their interactions meaningful she should give him that.

I don't understand the chastity thing myself, not really my thing. I feel if a woman has to resort to the control over his orgasms in that way its not really control (but hey what do I know...right?)

I agree with you though if the scene builds to ejaculation as a means of the final submission yes it can or should bring about an interconnectedness between them.

 

[eroticspank]

I think this comments on one of the most important elements to any domme: Knowing your submissive. (Communication, communication, communication) If the sub wants the denial she should give him that. If he feels he needs to come to make their interactions meaningful she should give him that.

I don't understand the chastity thing myself, not really my thing. I feel if a woman has to resort to the control over his orgasms in that way its not really control (but hey what do I know...right?)

I agree with you though if the scene builds to ejaculation as a means of the final submission yes it can or should bring about an interconnectedness between them.

Funny, I was going to say the same thing about Chastity, not understanding it etc. But through all of the this discussion and interaction with my recent gf, I think I am starting to understand it more.

The Chastity device can be seen as a form of ownership, similar to wearing a collar. In a recent discussion there was mention of wearing a pair of panties for the Domme, it is very similar. Her underwear is covering my genitals which I am saving for her.

Another part of it is sacrifice. As a sub, I find I want to show my partner some sort of sacrifice for her, that is challenging for me to do. It is part of being a sub in my mind, submitting to her and sacrificing for her. If it is not asked in some form, I find myself craving it.

As far as orgasm control goes, I find it liberating to put all of that in her control. I am no longer worried or concerned about orgasm and when it will occur, it is completely up to her.

For a sub, I like to call orgasm "release" because it really is about a release of tension, physical, emotional, and even spiritual. The proper management of that release, knowing when to bring it about, how to get the sub to the right physical and emotional state, as well as setting is what the Domme does. I feel this can be done without being in a relationship, just between two people that have a good connection and chemistry. BUT, add a relationship to the mix, two people who care about and love each other, then the scene is even more wonderful and satisfying for both.

ES

 

[babyjane20011]

I think this comments on one of the most important elements to any domme: Knowing your submissive. (Communication, communication, communication) If the sub wants the denial she should give him that. If he feels he needs to come to make their interactions meaningful she should give him that.

I don't understand the chastity thing myself, not really my thing. I feel if a woman has to resort to the control over his orgasms in that way its not really control (but hey what do I know...right?)

I agree with you though if the scene builds to ejaculation as a means of the final submission yes it can or should bring about an interconnectedness between them.

sent you a pm nancy

 

[Veroe]

Funny, I was going to say the same thing about Chastity, not understanding it etc. But through all of the this discussion and interaction with my recent gf, I think I am starting to understand it more.

The Chastity device can be seen as a form of ownership, similar to wearing a collar. In a recent discussion there was mention of wearing a pair of panties for the Domme, it is very similar. Her underwear is covering my genitals which I am saving for her.

Another part of it is sacrifice. As a sub, I find I want to show my partner some sort of sacrifice for her, that is challenging for me to do. It is part of being a sub in my mind, submitting to her and sacrificing for her. If it is not asked in some form, I find myself craving it.

As far as orgasm control goes, I find it liberating to put all of that in her control. I am no longer worried or concerned about orgasm and when it will occur, it is completely up to her.

For a sub, I like to call orgasm "release" because it really is about a release of tension, physical, emotional, and even spiritual. The proper management of that release, knowing when to bring it about, how to get the sub to the right physical and emotional state, as well as setting is what the Domme does. I feel this can be done without being in a relationship, just between two people that have a good connection and chemistry. BUT, add a relationship to the mix, two people who care about and love each other, then the scene is even more wonderful and satisfying for both.

ES

Thanks that was educational, ES. There's still a lot of things about Femdom I've yet to understand, you've helped in that regard.

sent you a pm nancy

Received it. Thanks for sending it to me. I've sent you a response.

 

[eroticspank]

Thanks that was educational, ES. There's still a lot of things about Femdom I've yet to understand, you've helped in that regard.

Great! Glad I could help. That is why discussion is so fun. Just trying to describe things so others will understand my point of view gives me a better understanding of things and myself.

ES

 

[Monica_112]

I'd like to thank you for this thread. As a switch I find it quite hard to come to terms with my changing desires at times, although to be honest it's the dynamic that changes me, but this thread is both beautiful and educational

 

[Veroe]

Is there a companion thread here to this one about the beauty of female dominants?

It feels like there should be.

Still, a lot of people don't understand the male submissive. So this thread is a godsend for that.

 

[backspin]

Exciting thread!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

i miss Erochic.

 

[Veroe]

^^Agreed. EC always had valuable insight in whatever we were discussing.