the best part

[playwithlezli]

I couldn't agree more. For me it is definately more a matter of heart/mind than physical attributes. A lot of the time I don't even like to refer to myself as bisexual because even that title doesn't really embody me.

I'd even add another dimension. Considering that my last boyfriend was transgender (mtf), would that make me trisexual? or maybe omnisexual?

labels, labels, labels, i have been thinking so much about them lately, keep coming back to why the fuck do we need em? can we not just love who we love.

then in the back of my mind a little tiny voice says, but even when you loved a man, and enjoyed his body, you wanted a woman......

which brings us full circle back to labels....

then i think....i am tired of thinking about this...........

on the upside of this, C and i just keep being us......and no-one seems to mind.

No-one seems to figure out that we are a couple either, which makes us laugh now. Wondering how much energy we have wasted on worrying about what other people think.....ah, hindsight....

and the funny thing is, I didn't think I cared about what people thought!

Oh well, bath, book, nap, then to my gels for a cuddle and a sleep. Think I will call it a mental health day!

 

[barebacknubianf]

LOL.Very hard to explain.I have been aware of my bi-sexuality and been accepting of it for as long as I can remeber.It was never an issue for me.Perhaps by best of both worlds,I don't have to choose.If I am attracted to someone,then I am damn well attracted to them,
Gender,race,,etc is just not an isssue.One thing though,I have never truly had beyond more than a sexual relationship with another woman except for once.But too,,,not in and out of love with men either,,hahha.
It takes a hell of a lot to get my attention to start with,,and to actually get to my heart?It takes a most extraordianry person,,,,,very,very,very much so.

For me, I can find men and women attractive, and I love sex with both too! But one thing I can't have with a woman is the kind of emotional relationship I can have with a man. Call me old-fashioned, but it's the difference between men and women that makes relationships with the opposite sex so exciting for me. Even though I can't stand how stupid they are 50% of the time!

So I suppose what I'm saying is...the best part about being bi for me is that I can have great relationships with men, and have sex with women too. What could be better?

 

[AZLovelyLady]

labels, labels, labels, i have been thinking so much about them lately, keep coming back to why the fuck do we need em? can we not just love who we love.

then in the back of my mind a little tiny voice says, but even when you loved a man, and enjoyed his body, you wanted a woman......

which brings us full circle back to labels....

then i think....i am tired of thinking about this...........

on the upside of this, C and i just keep being us......and no-one seems to mind.

No-one seems to figure out that we are a couple either, which makes us laugh now. Wondering how much energy we have wasted on worrying about what other people think.....ah, hindsight....

and the funny thing is, I didn't think I cared about what people thought!

Oh well, bath, book, nap, then to my gels for a cuddle and a sleep. Think I will call it a mental health day!

I sometimes feel the same way about labels, but then I sometimes see how they can help and make sense of things. I think the trick might be to use them when needed but not be limited by them and to expect that other people go beyond their labels as well. And keep in mind that this is just a theory for me, I haven't gotten profficient in the practice part of it

I think that one thing (not the best part thought) I like about being "bi" is that I've learned to be compassionate towards others--something about knowing what it's like to be judged on something so natural to me is what has kept me in check from not judging others (although I'm not profficient in this either)

 

[playwithlezli]

I sometimes feel the same way about labels, but then I sometimes see how they can help and make sense of things. I think the trick might be to use them when needed but not be limited by them and to expect that other people go beyond their labels as well. And keep in mind that this is just a theory for me, I haven't gotten profficient in the practice part of it

I think that one thing (not the best part thought) I like about being "bi" is that I've learned to be compassionate towards others--something about knowing what it's like to be judged on something so natural to me is what has kept me in check from not judging others (although I'm not profficient in this either)

*S* I suppose when we get proficient at the tough stuff life could start to get boring eh! Nah.....I am sure we could still be amused!

As to labels, yah, you are right, use 'em when you need 'em, laff at them the rest of the time. I got to some more thinking yesterday, I don't want the label so much as the access it gives me to a community. I know we should be able to be ourselves wherever, but, we also know that is not always true.

I know when my daughter was finally diagnosed with autism, it actually made life easier because we could find a supportive and understanding culture.

My biggest hang-up is that I don't want the blame for failed relationships to default to me......"of course her marriage failed...she's a dyke......" Then again, I am happier than I have ever been so, it shouldn't matter right.

Anyways, that's enough thinking for my first cup of coffee.

 

[Never]

I've yet to find any part of being queer good.


Queersetti:
" The choice of conformity has been withheld from us, and that makes us more free."

Lack of choice is freedom? Gettin' a little Orwellian there.

 

[sexy-girl]

I agree with what you and privyjo have said, but I see it in a slightly broader way. Most people in our conformist society struggle to maintain the integrity of their individuality. But, by holding us as different, society has, ironically handed us a great gift. The choice of conformity has been withheld from us, and that makes us more free.

heh i like that ... my problem though is i'm quite a boring lesbian ... i conform more than my straight friends

 

[wantonthoughts]

well i'm straight but I can say I have loved and dated bimen- and the best thing about that was who they were,how well they treated me and how open they were with me.

 

[FrenchMustard]

My favorite part is going out of my way to make straight men really uncomfortable in their little heteronormative priveliged box

 

[Never]

My favorite part is going out of my way to make straight men really uncomfortable in their little heteronormative priveliged box

This is my favorite reply so far.

 

[FrenchMustard]

This is my favorite reply so far.

Thanks--they think that this is their world, but it's ours, too. We can fight back, and their egos are a lot more fragile than ours

 

[Queersetti]

I've yet to find any part of being queer good.


Queersetti:
" The choice of conformity has been withheld from us, and that makes us more free."

Lack of choice is freedom? Gettin' a little Orwellian there.

Lack of easy choices can make one more free by forcing us to examine more possibilities.

 

[neonflux]

I love being bi-queer because it has:

1) Given me another prism through which to view the world;
2) Made it easier to see through and harder to accept cultural/sexual hypocrisy;
3) Created within me a passion for social justice;
4) Greatly expanded my notions of gender and how I am able to express my own;
5) Provided me with a community and extended family that I adore;
6) Helped me to develop a great sense of humor, self-irony and camp;
7) Enabled me to deepen my spirituality and sense of connection to the divine;
8) Made me a more tolerant, loving person;
9) Freed me from the contraints of patriarchy;
10) Provided me with a much greater appreciation of myself as a woman;
11) Helped me to truly love (not just need and tolerate) men;
12) My existence forces others to question their very limited vision of gender and relationship possiblities.

Not to mention the fact, that as others have already mentioned, being bi gives me double the opportunities for a date on Saturday night, LOL!

With affection and xoxoxox's to all my LGBTQ family on Lit,
~ Neon

P.S., Nirvana, thank you for such a lovely question...

 

[Guest]

i'm more tollerant of others. live and let live kinda thing

 

[Synnn]

I've always seen sexuality as something very fluid, but labels make it easier to find people with similar experiences and challenges in their lives that you can learn from and sympathize with...

Best part of being bisexual for me is the ability to experience what I crave, whether that's male or female (or both!) I can experience it and be happy, without feeling any pressure to tell myself that I shouldn't want something, or that I can't have it.

...it's also really fun to see my male friends' jaws hit the floor when they find out I've been with a lady. It's hilarious.

 

[playwithlezli]

another thought on labels, sometimes we use a lack of a label to deny who we are.

 

[playwithlezli]

But the real reason I came back to "the best part" (thank you Nirvana for yet another great thread) is to say, the best part of being gay, was when in conversation the other day, I said, "i love this woman so much.......:

I have never in my life, told someone I am in love in public before

So, I guess I am at home in my skin now, please and thank you!

 

[Guest]

But the real reason I came back to "the best part" (thank you Nirvana for yet another great thread) is to say, the best part of being gay, was when in conversation the other day, I said, "i love this woman so much.......:

I have never in my life, told someone I am in love in public before

So, I guess I am at home in my skin now, please and thank you!

 

[playwithlezli]

(plus more characters apparently)

 

[Anniejustagirl]

I have never in my life, told someone I am in love in public before

So, I guess I am at home in my skin now, please and thank you!

Damn fine skin to be in too..... isn't it?!?!?!?!


You both deserve this!!!!!

 

[naughtyinsilk]

Surely its not what you are, but who you are with, that is the important thing and how you treat each other.

Love, romance and respect are genderless in my opinion.

And being proud of who you are, as well as what you are is a smoother passage to self love and happiness.

I would have hoped that the best part was finding the person or people who make you feel the most special person in the world. And someone who you can worship the ground they walk on.

Apologies for these ramblings of a straight person, who having lived with gay, lesbian and transexual housemates for most of the last 26 years hopes he has learnt a little to help him escape from his little heteronormative priveliged box.

 

[naughtyinsilk]

Its a damn good question though, makes you think

 

[Anniejustagirl]

Surely its not what you are, but who you are with, that is the important thing and how you treat each other.

Love, romance and respect are genderless in my opinion.

And being proud of who you are, as well as what you are is a smoother passage to self love and happiness.

I would have hoped that the best part was finding the person or people who make you feel the most special person in the world. And someone who you can worship the ground they walk on.

Apologies for these ramblings of a straight person, who having lived with gay, lesbian and transexual housemates for most of the last 26 years hopes he has learnt a little to help him escape from his little heteronormative priveliged box.

i don't know about anyone else, but what i am is so important for the simple fact that i denied myself and hid away for so many years before finding the 'courage' to embrace what i am and be out and proud. The fact that i have an amazing woman by my side is icing on the cake. I'm very lucky not to be solo again this year. I had finally come to terms with it though... maybe that was the key.

They're good ramblings. Thought-provoking ramblings are the best kind.

The best part for me this year is all the 'firsts' we are experiencing along the way. Life is Sweet!

 

[naughtyinsilk]

i don't know about anyone else, but what i am is so important for the simple fact that i denied myself and hid away for so many years before finding the 'courage' to embrace what i am and be out and proud. The fact that i have an amazing woman by my side is icing on the cake. I'm very lucky not to be solo again this year. I had finally come to terms with it though... maybe that was the key.

Sorry I could have made myself clearer. What I was trying to say in my clumsy way is, that finding out what you are is an important part of finding out who you are, and until you understand yourself completely you can never truly be happy, or in a relationship that fills your every need & desire.
Without that understanding of what you are the rest of who you are is built on very shaky foundations that will sooner or later crumble and leave yourself to face the truth.

glad I could make my self a bit clearer

 

[Misty_Morning]

I'm not sure if this is the appopriate response to the question. And I do believe I can think of other responses that can be better. But since I am am a jokester I absolutely love love this.

The one thing that I find absolutely hilarious is when people find out that I am a lesbian, their first response is always....

"Gee, you don't look like a lesbian."

I mean come on, do you want me to show you my union card or the secret handshake? (like we really have one)......wait a minute...do we have one?

 

[angelkitty7888]

have to agree with privyjo, i just feel like i am me at last. not that i ever denied i liked women and having sex with them. its just that now that i am in love with a woman who loves me back, i feel like i am 100% me. wierdest thing is, for the first time in my life i want to hold hands in public, kiss her hello, do pretty much everything together. never knew i had so much love and maybe more importantly, affection in my being. never felt like that with a guy, i never introduced someone as'my boyfriend' or 'my husband" but i sure want to refer to "my girlfriend" ALL the time!
but as usual nirvana, you have asked, not told-what is the best for you? hmmmmmmmmm,

i agree completely! me and my SO hide out because of her family (mine found out accidentally and confronted me with it... damn library book...) so i don't get to if i'm within 2 towns of home but when we go out i love being able to just hold her hand and snuggle with her...

i'd have to say the best part about having my girlfriend is that i feel i'm really understood... she cares about me and tries to help me through whatever is bothering me... we've evolved into a pillar of strength for each other but we still are able to show our weaknesses... yes i know i'm going on about how much i love her but she the best thing in my life it doesn't matter we're both girls...

And of course one of the best things is its easier to 'sleep over' each others houses and not get looked at too strangely (legal... but just barely lol)

edit: wow... after reading the rest of the thread (which i should have done before responding) i feel kinda shallow... so!

1) i agree with sexuality is fluid... love is love nothing else matters
2) i also am a more conformative person than most straight people my girlfriend and i used to get into arguements about how i would "reflect" the people i was around on a regular basis
3) being me is just fun! i have a good mate, a job, and people that accept that facet of my personality... i acctually have it better than most... including my SO