The Gentle Dom/ Daddy

[Strixaluco]

I wish all the best for you as you and your DD continue to explore your dynamic. Be aware that it may not be smooth in the beginning if you move towards a common household. Because of her past, there were times when we were starting out that she would develop anxiety over what she felt she was becoming. Thinking that "she" would somehow disappear and become nothing more than a servant. We worked through that and other issues. And we had issues when I brought her into the business. At first, she had challenges in separating CFO Bunny from sub Bunny. Her anxiety spiked again, but we worked through it. We have a code phrase to let me know if she needs a little more "Dom-ing" during the day to help her get centered again.

I hesitated to share that post because I don't want to give the impression that this is easy, or that our dynamic is for everyone. It is a common but true saying that everyone's journey is different; everyone's dynamic is different. Only you and your DD can define what is right for you.

I've shared my household with a partner most of my adult life. Now is actually the longest period I have ever lived alone, for almost 4,5 years already.


Though it was all vanilla in the past, I am still familiar of many of the struggles of joining households, and also how it can be worked out. But my partner isn't. We have very different relationship histories. So he's more hesitant and nervous about it than me


And some of the questions in our case arise from very different kind of rules that we're having in our dynamic compared to what you have. Or what most couples would have, actually. They are not made for other than relatively short times spent together at one go. (In fact, those rules are part of what makes me suspect he's just as autistic as I am. His need for things to be predictable and stable is highly visible in the rules.) So we will have to change things when starting to spend more time together. I can not, for example, let be fingering my hair in the long run, and he understands that. But even now we have some time when rules don't apply.

 

[Bunnys_Wolfie]

Dealing with the aftermath of her assault was challenging during our early years, and sometimes intrudes into our lives again. Rules were one of the things that gave us a bit of normalcy even before DD/lg. As open as she has been, she's. not revealed all of our rules, and they have changed somewhat since the beginning.
I've no familiarity with autism, but I expect it has brought its own set of challenges. And will continue to do so as you combine your households. I wish you all the best, as I'm sure Bunny does.

 

[Strixaluco]

Basically all the rules we have only make sense when he's physically with me, and not in the long run. Like needing permission to even slightly adjust my clothes or hair. In 24/7 that would turn into micromanaging and very much not feasible for either of us.

And we also have some habits regarding sleeping that would not work in work mornings. So we face plenty of practical considerations. It would be easier if we could just spend, say, a week together as a test every now and then, but that would not mimic normal life as he wouldn't be able to take all his normal daily things along.

But then again we don't have as hard background as Bunny does.

 

[daddysbadgrl728]

If you know me, you know that the majority of my time has been spent on the Play Ground side. But, since my start on Lit, I have grown and evolved. I've listened closely to those who were in D/s or DD/lg dynamics. I heard the caring in the relationships. Though sometimes it isn't always sexual, this dynamic has drawn me in. I find fulfillment in the Daddy identity.

I appreciate any serious discussion, whether from Doms/Daddy's or subs/littles on this subject. What have you experienced in your relationships? What are the positives? What are the negatives?

So, I'm new to talking about being a lg or even s. I also normally hang in the playground. But, as I got older, I noticed I wanted more personal things and ventured into other forums. I found this thread! Right now I have a very gentle Daddy. I have had ones I would say are daddy, not Daddy. Those who just wanted the sexual aspect of the relationship, not really following through in the caring aspect or going past bedroom, therefore not earning me calling them Daddy.
The positives?
Having someone care and check on me. Having someone guide me and ask how I feel. He doesn't want to do anything that would ever hurt me. I feel safe. The only thing that could make me feel safer would be physically being in his arms. Any time we play, he always makes sure it not out of my comfort zone.
The negatives?
Having to weed through all the ones who just want control. Whether its as a Daddy or Dom. Having to stand my ground on hard nos. Finding someone who isn't on a power trip. My current negative is he's far from me and it hurts sometimes.
Experiences?
On the good side, pure love and caring. On the bad side, not being listened to, confusion on where I stood.
I usually broken. I have chronic illness, im a bbw, unhappy marriage....so yeah, im addicted to someone caring about me, but I also have needs. I think Daddy Dom with what im learning is a primal side, is where im leaning. I like it when he reminds me im his.