The How To Contest Support Thread

[damppanties]

Aww.... how long is a bit?

Also, I would never make a habit, all that black-on-black stitching would vex me completely.

The biting, I ain't gonna go there.

A bit is smaller than a habit. Sorry. Forgive me for the horrible jokes. I'm not myself.

I'm not sure how long this will go on. Bastards, all net people.

ps. Glad you're giggling.

 

[Boxlicker101]

After finishing the first edit, I'm quite pleased with my entry. I might even enter it with few or no changes. The only negative thing is a lack of eating pussy. Oh, well, I will make up for that in the next story I write.

 

[glynndah]

Well, the essay I planned on entering is still just sitting here staring at me, all 136 words of it. Another story that I sent to a friend just for fun is shaping up to be my alternate entry. It needs a bit of polishing, but it has possibilities, I think.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Well, the essay I planned on entering is still just sitting here staring at me, all 136 words of it. Another story that I sent to a friend just for fun is shaping up to be my alternate entry. It needs a bit of polishing, but it has possibilities, I think.

I hope I'm the friend you are referring to...and you need to enter what you sent me, I'm still laughing...

 

[glynndah]

I hope I'm the friend you are referring to...and you need to enter what you sent me, I'm still laughing...

I'll send you a nice slice of drasheen. That'll stop that laughing right away. And a thank you from an appreciative good little witch.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

I'll send you a nice slice of drasheen. That'll stop that laughing right away. And a thank you from an appreciative good little witch.

I think it would stop a lot of things....LOL....and thanks...

 

[DG Hear]

Question on submitting How To

Can a story be a "How to" and put in the humor catagory and still be in the contest as long as it is a how to and under remarks (how to submission 2007)? I had one last year and the How To reads are always a lot less. The one I'm considering entering is humorous.
DG

 

[starrkers]

No.
From Laurel's sticky announcing the contest:

- Your piece must be submitted into the How-To category, and must be a How-To essay. That is, your submission must be instructional, not a story. All topics are acceptable provided they fall within Literotica Submission Guidelines. We will not accept How-To submissions that teach people how to do acts that are illegal in the United States. Pieces submitted to "How-To" that do not fit the category will be rejected. Work submitted to categories other than "How-To" will not be entered into the contest.

 

[DG Hear]

No.
From Laurel's sticky announcing the contest:

Quote:
- Your piece must be submitted into the How-To category, and must be a How-To essay. That is, your submission must be instructional, not a story. All topics are acceptable provided they fall within Literotica Submission Guidelines. We will not accept How-To submissions that teach people how to do acts that are illegal in the United States. Pieces submitted to "How-To" that do not fit the category will be rejected. Work submitted to categories other than "How-To" will not be entered into the contest.

That helps a lots. I must admit it's not what I wanted to hear but it will work. I'll submit it to the 'How to" and put the remarks in notes section. Thanks you for your help. By the way nice AV, I can like it. (smiling)
DG

 

[glynndah]

Not a story, hmmm? Well, I guess I won't submit mine for the contest. Anyway, it was pointed out that I stand a good chance of offending Jews, Muslims and the Peta folks, so maybe I should reconsider.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Not a story, hmmm? Well, I guess I won't submit mine for the contest. Anyway, it was pointed out that I stand a good chance of offending Jews, Muslims and the Peta folks, so maybe I should reconsider.

Is it about cooking bacon?

 

[glynndah]

Is it about cooking bacon?

The tentative title is "Foxfire, a Pig and a Chainsaw". Head cheese and sausage, no bacon.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Quote:
- Your piece must be submitted into the How-To category, and must be a How-To essay. That is, your submission must be instructional, not a story. All topics are acceptable provided they fall within Literotica Submission Guidelines. We will not accept How-To submissions that teach people how to do acts that are illegal in the United States. Pieces submitted to "How-To" that do not fit the category will be rejected. Work submitted to categories other than "How-To" will not be entered into the contest.

That helps a lots. I must admit it's not what I wanted to hear but it will work. I'll submit it to the 'How to" and put the remarks in notes section. Thanks you for your help. By the way nice AV, I can like it. (smiling)
DG

Well, that bites...not that I had any intention of entering...gonna make for some dry reading...

 

[DG Hear]

Miss Good Witch!

Not a story, hmmm? Well, I guess I won't submit mine for the contest. Anyway, it was pointed out that I stand a good chance of offending Jews, Muslims and the Peta folks, so maybe I should reconsider.

I think you ought to submit your story. You took the time to write it, so submit it. If it doesn't meet the critiria, let them tell you. I find that some of the rules are pretty flexable. I wrote one as a story last year and they told me to enter it into the contest, so I did.
Hope this helps. Here was my last years submission. Give it a read and see if you thinks it written like a story.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=254363

I wanted to re-write it and use it for a submission this year, but my editor said it wasn't allowed. It was a fun write, I believe you'll like it.
DG

 

[l8bloom]

Quote:
- Your piece must be submitted into the How-To category, and must be a How-To essay. That is, your submission must be instructional, not a story.

Well, heck. My how-to is in story form ....
there is such a thing as a different way of looking at things ...
I will enter it anyway, might as well give it a shot.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

They'll tell you if it won't work or not by rejecting it. Don't start second guessing what you wrote. As far as offending people. . . This is a porn site and if a person is coming here. . .then they shouldn't be offended by anything that Lit allows, because it is what it is. *shrugs*

I say enter them and let Lit decide. They know what they are doing.

Good luck to everyone.

 

[l8bloom]

OK, if I must follow the rules, then, here:

“how to” for a great weekend

1. Get a fabulous deal on a beautiful aluminum-frame Trek at the Great Annual Bike Sale
2. Whichever young buck stares at your chest the most, don’t be irritated, just let him lift the bike into the car. Staring for heavy lifting, I guess it’s kind of a trade, LOL
3. Go home & ride thru Wing Park, up & down the hills, past the people playing basketball & tennis & golf & the people having some kind of reunion & past the little league game & the kids playing soccer, love the wind in your hair & the bugs in your teeth do wear your helmet
4. Cubs win 8-1, ha!!!!
5. aided by La Cerveza Mas Fina with a wedge of lime, put the Weber together without reading the directions,
6. that’s because the directions are in pictures
7. Turn the kebabs
8. Give thanks for all the good fortune that has come your way
9. & all the neat people you’ve been lucky enough to meet

howzzat?

 

[DG Hear]

Yep!!!

They'll tell you if it won't work or not by rejecting it. Don't start second guessing what you wrote. As far as offending people. . . This is a porn site and if a person is coming here. . .then they shouldn't be offended by anything that Lit allows, because it is what it is. *shrugs*

I say enter them and let Lit decide. They know what they are doing.

Good luck to everyone.

You tell them Red head and friendly girl!!! LOL
I still have you on my shit list. haha Hey everyone, that's a good thing.
DG

 

[cloudy]

Abs, Vana and I have an idea.

 

[glynndah]

I've just about decided to enter it. If it's not right, I'm sure the powers that be will tell me and I'll submit it in another category. With a title like "Foxfire, a Pig and a Chainsaw", that should be enough of a heads-up that perhaps you don't want to read any further. Anyway, the trolls do need to be lured out from under those bridges occasionally to enjoy the warm spring sunshine. (And then they can go right back to their murky, musty hidey-holes.

Now that I've written all that, would someone who thinks they might have a clue like to read it and tell me if it goes there? It's a little over 2000 words. No sex and I don't take the Lord's name in vain this time. Despite the title, it's not graphically violent either.

 

[Boxlicker101]

They'll tell you if it won't work or not by rejecting it. Don't start second guessing what you wrote. As far as offending people. . . This is a porn site and if a person is coming here. . .then they shouldn't be offended by anything that Lit allows, because it is what it is. *shrugs*

I say enter them and let Lit decide. They know what they are doing.

Good luck to everyone.

I have news for you, Red. Actually, it isn't really news; it's common knowledge. People come here to be offended. They come here and read Incest and LW and Gay Male and Lesbian and Interracial so they can gripe about them and throw one-bombs.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

You tell them Red head and friendly girl!!! LOL
I still have you on my shit list. haha Hey everyone, that's a good thing.
DG

Yes it is a good list. . .gives me many a chuckle some days. . .most days really.

I have news for you, Red. Actually, it isn't really news; it's common knowledge. People come here to be offended. They come here and read Incest and LW and Gay Male and Lesbian and Interracial so they can gripe about them and throw one-bombs.

What was I thinking? ? ? lol. . .

btw. . .Have I ever told you I really like that AV?

 

[Boxlicker101]

It's 8:00 at night, PDT. I believe Literotica runs on eastern time so in about fifty minutes, it will be May 1, and the contest will begin. I submitted my entry this morning, and I'm interested in seing how it is received.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

It will be May 1 in just 27 minutes for me.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

They're HERE the entries for right now:

http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/contest.php/how-to-2007