The How To Contest Support Thread

[Guest]

mine was doing fine

It is taking a beating now.

*sighs*

Maharat

 

[oggbashan]

Oh, I entered it with "serious contenderness". Very hopeful, but worried it wouldn't fit.

Oooh, a parking meter trophy.... I was ecstatic thinking about a certificate for last place. Now I've got even more reason to enter.

I don't think that any AH competition entry that has been considered for the Last Place (tm) Contests has ever been not a serious contender for the main competition. The entries that achieve Last Place are often as good as other entries and suffer because they are not popular. An anthology of Last Place winners would be as readable as an anthology of winners of the main contest.

I decide what is a serious entry, and so far I haven't had to eliminate anyone.

Og

 

[Boxlicker101]

There must have been a sweep last night. My miniscule number of votes has been reduced by three. The score increased, but it is still a leading contender for last place.

 

[rachlou]

There must have been a sweep last night. My miniscule number of votes has been reduced by three. The score increased, but it is still a leading contender for last place.

Yup, mine has jumped up after losing all the 1-bombs that were dumped over the last few days.

You got my vote already

 

[Boxlicker101]

Yup, mine has jumped up after losing all the 1-bombs that were dumped over the last few days.

You got my vote already

Yes, I did. Thank you.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

As mine was not a serious entry, but I wanted to try it anyway *winks to Manu and Laurel and whoever else edits Contest entries*. It was judiciously dismissed as the rubbish it is. But as it is an example of my literary wit and genius, I thought it would be unfair to deprive you all from reading it. So here it is:

How 2 kik in her dor and cum on her fas
​

Sup, bitches? U wanna know how 2 B a man? Not just a sissy, but a MAN MAN, 1 that can get any ho U want whenver U want? Dis is how 2 do it. U kik in her dor and cum on her fas. Sluts dig that shit, seriously. I no at least a dozen twats that beg, BEG 4 me to cum over and just throw them over the couch and spray man love lotion all over. Good thing I got a 17 inch cock that is always ready to unload!

U want more? Ok then get paper and pencil and take notes. First, get some boots, steel toed heavy black stomping boots. If they don’t weigh at least 15 pounds, they R sissy sandals and won’t do U 4 crap when you try to kik in a dor. Take the laces out and go to a hardware store and steal some steel cable to lace with. It’s a bitch to tie with but it gives UR boots that killer sex robot look and U need that look to make UR attitude extra sexy.

Next get U sum torn up jeans, and take a pair of pliers to the zipper, and break the shit out of it. U never want these pants to zip ever. U don’t want to waste time pulling UR zipper down when U got a slut that needs cum on her fas. And if UR not proud of UR cock then don’t even read this HOW 2.

Now U R ready to find U a ho. This is where a keen eye and good taste cum in. Look around U, take a day or 3 to spot all the pussy around U. Pick the best looking 1 and follow her, make sure U no what apartment she is in. Then wait til U no she is home. Give her an hour or so to get in and get comfortable, change out of her street clothes in2 her comfy sweats or slutty tank and shorts.

Knock on her door, say U R with UPS or FedEx if she is an uptight bitch. When U hear her undo the deadbolt, but B4 she does the lock, that’s when U strike! Pick up that big ole boot on UR foot and just KIK 4 all U R worth, put all UR strength in2 kiking that door! It should splinter and break right off the hinge. Then U push UR way in, and grab her by the hair, drag her to the couch. If she kicks and screams, that just means she is hot 4 U stud!

Throw her at the couch from at least 5 feet away. If U can’t throw ho 5 feet, take UR pansy ass out of here right now and never read another how 2 ever. Now whip UR cock out and start yanking on it hard. Hold her head with 1 hand while U jack with the other and shoot cum in her fas. If U really like her, and U want her 2 no, then make sure to get sum in her mouth. She’ll luv that!

When U R all out of cum, B good and wipe the last drip on her cheek. Then walk out B4 she gets attached to U and begs U to marry her. U can’t be tied down 2 just one twat so immediately go to the next one U found and do it all over again 4 her, just to keep UR player card in play, U get me?

Now do it again and again, then go get a beer to recharge UR balls to make more man juice.

 

[cloudy]

As mine was not a serious entry, but I wanted to try it anyway *winks to Manu and Laurel and whoever else edits Contest entries*. It was judiciously dismissed as the rubbish it is. But as it is an example of my literary wit and genius, I thought it would be unfair to deprive you all from reading it. So here it is:

How 2 kik in her dor and cum on her fas
​

I thought it was brilliant.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

I thought it was brilliant.

Thats because you have great taste and UR a hawt ho that wants me 2 kik in yor dor

 

[cloudy]

Thats because you have great taste and UR a hawt ho that wants me 2 kik in yor dor

true.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

true.

big kisses

 

[FatDino]

Salvor, you rock, man.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Salvor, you rock, man.

Thanks dino babe

 

[FatDino]

Thanks dino babe

You should have submitted this under the Humor/Satire category. It'd get thousands of votes, I bet you.

 

[rachlou]

Salvor, i'm hawt 4 ur man juice! cum ere stud! A worthy winner - so sad it was rejected...

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Salvor, i'm hawt 4 ur man juice! cum ere stud! A worthy winner - so sad it was rejected...

thanks rach, I'll try it again when the next humor contest comes around.

 

[oggbashan]

thanks rach, I'll try it again when the next humor contest comes around.

Sorry. As you no doubt know, there is no themed Humor contest.

Now, if they both strip nakkid after 'kiked in her dor', then it might work in the Nude Day contest.

Og

 

[Boxlicker101]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Salvor-Hardon
thanks rach, I'll try it again when the next humor contest comes around.

Sorry. As you no doubt know, there is no themed Humor contest.

Now, if they both strip nakkid after 'kiked in her dor', then it might work in the Nude Day contest.

Og

Or, maybe if he says "Merry Christmas" right after he camed in her fas, you can enter it in the Winter Holiday contest.

 

[oggbashan]

Or, maybe if he says "Merry Christmas" right after he camed in her fas, you can enter it in the Winter Holiday contest.

If he drops a Valentine Card on the floor and pushes a rose in her asshole, it could be entered for Valentine's Day...

Og

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

If he drops a Valentine Card on the floor and pushes a rose in her asshole, it could be entered for Valentine's Day...

Og

Or use recycled paper and call it an Earth Day / Valentines Day Cross over.

I could win twice!

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Or use recycled paper and call it an Earth Day / Valentines Day Cross over.

I could win twice!

The mind boggles.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[glynndah]

Or use recycled paper and call it an Earth Day / Valentines Day Cross over.

I could win twice!

It's really a classic Universal story. An additional word or two and it's ready for any contest, category or occasion.


Just an editorial comment: They're were at least too sentences where the otherwise HI standards of this pees were aloud two slip. A bit of judicious editing wood probably take care of that.

 

[FatDino]

Have I mentioned I love this place?

I absolutely adore it.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

It's really a classic Universal story. An additional word or two and it's ready for any contest, category or occasion.


Just an editorial comment: They're were at least too sentences where the otherwise HI standards of this pees were aloud two slip. A bit of judicious editing wood probably take care of that.

CRAP! Even when I try to screw up the grammar, I screw up screwing up! CURSE YOU GRAMMAR!!!!! CURSE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[oggbashan]

Anyone else?

There seems to be a short list of entries so far.

Is anyone else about to post an entry to the How To Contest?

If not, I might submit another, but no fifty-word entry this time.

Og

 

[_Lynn_]

There seems to be a short list of entries so far.

Is anyone else about to post an entry to the How To Contest?

If not, I might submit another, but no fifty-word entry this time.

Og

I wrote something, but I never considered submitting it. LOL