The Isolated Blurt BDSM Thread

[FungiUg]

And not being willing to top without fucking? Pfft. Somebody is just a bit too horny.

I pretty much fall into that category. For me, sex is the motivator. It's kinda dry and pointless without it.

 

[catalina_francisco]

2 and a half more days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i just ordered some bar stools for my breakfast bar... I'm so THRILLED!


http://images.barstools.com/mgen/digimarc.ms?img=master:TI147.jpg&h=400&w=400

Very pretty!!

Catalina

 

[FungiUg]

i just ordered some bar stools for my breakfast bar... I'm so THRILLED!

Very pretty!

Oh damn, Cat beat me to it.

 

[Homburg]

I've kind of stopped doing most play, but I still like to socialize, and will play with those who want to just do a nice spanking or something. The problem is that I love the informality of this group. There isn't a lot of formal D/s pomp and circumstance. No one is called Master whozitwhatzit and such.

*shrug* In the group we hang out with, nobody that I know of is a stickler about being called by any titles. I've noticed a tendency to call the FDoms Miss soandso, or by some other minor title, but I think that's just the unnattached male subs being desperate.

It's not that they're like, I will maim you or NOTHING. It's more that I can tell I'm not giving them what they need. Sadists like dishing out pain. I get it. It just scares me. I'll probably get to do a cool scene at NY's where my dress gets cut off though. Hurrah!

*shrug* Maybe I'm weird. I'm play with someone if I like them, and walk in with limited expectations. I'm more into the exchange than I am in hitting someone X number of times or at a certain intensity. If we decide on a given activity, and agree to it, that's what is going to happen and naught more. Perhaps I'm just a "fluffy service top" to use Netzach's term.

 

[HottieMama]

Thank you both.

They are just so ME..that i had to have them!

 

[FungiUg]

They are just so ME..

Er, so are you telling us that (not so) secretely, you are a barstool?

 

[Homburg]

I pretty much fall into that category. For me, sex is the motivator. It's kinda dry and pointless without it.

Not me. Maybe I'm the odd one though. Sure, a nice hard fucking is a great way to top off a good beating, but I don't need to do it. In the proper mindset, dishing out the beating is enough for me. Same with ropework, waxing, etc. Once I hit a certain headspace, I'm good to go.

Note: This is not a constant thing. There are times when sex is the only thing that will do. I just don't need it every time, and especially not in public scening.

 

[HottieMama]

Er, so are you telling us that (not so) secretely, you are a barstool?

LOL Fungi.

No..i like pink, and black..and well....girly!!!

 

[Essene]

My nose is cold.

 

[FungiUg]

Not me. Maybe I'm the odd one though.

No, I don't think you are the odd one. It's probably more to do with me being a slut.

The whole motivator for me with ropework, caning or any other kind of pain infliction, humiliation and the like is that it is part of a whole sexual mind-set for me. There's a direct link, and I'm just not interested in them unless they include sex.

A friend recently asked me if I could do some ropework with her, for example, and I responded with no -- she's not someone I want to get sexually involved with, and it would just end up annoying and frustrating for me.

All part of knowing ourselves and what works for us and what doesn't, I guess.

 

[intothewoods]

LOL, don't mind me, I am just a recluse at heart. I have someone who has been begging me to join their photography club/group which I understand is quite popular and full of experienced and inexperienced people, but all people who love photography to death. I just can't do it....I know it would not be long before I would be bored and feeling overloaded, then guilty if I stopped going...what excites me and keeps my interest is actually doing it more so than meeting and talking with a lot of people who also enjoy it. I'm just strange that way.

Catalina

Gotcha. Nothing wrong with that. I just love going to parties. I love, love, love getting dressed up (seriously, I was born for the scene in THAT respect anyway, lol) and I love people watching, and catching up with friends, and just running around and acting silly.

On the flip side, I also love just staying at home and being lazy, or cooking for Mister Man, or when I'm with my kidlet, baking or cooking for him, and playing with him.

 

[intothewoods]

*shrug* In the group we hang out with, nobody that I know of is a stickler about being called by any titles. I've noticed a tendency to call the FDoms Miss soandso, or by some other minor title, but I think that's just the unnattached male subs being desperate.

How big is your group? Just curious.

*shrug* Maybe I'm weird. I'm play with someone if I like them, and walk in with limited expectations. I'm more into the exchange than I am in hitting someone X number of times or at a certain intensity. If we decide on a given activity, and agree to it, that's what is going to happen and naught more. Perhaps I'm just a "fluffy service top" to use Netzach's term.

Maybe I need to look for more fluffy service tops. I dunno. Actually, I probably would do better with people who are more into s&m play than the sex. Yeah. Maybe they're all too horny!

 

[Homburg]

No, I don't think you are the odd one. It's probably more to do with me being a slut.

The whole motivator for me with ropework, caning or any other kind of pain infliction, humiliation and the like is that it is part of a whole sexual mind-set for me. There's a direct link, and I'm just not interested in them unless they include sex.

A friend recently asked me if I could do some ropework with her, for example, and I responded with no -- she's not someone I want to get sexually involved with, and it would just end up annoying and frustrating for me.

All part of knowing ourselves and what works for us and what doesn't, I guess.

We are in total agreement with that last part. While I'm not quite a prude, I'm not one to indiscriminately have sex. Almost prudish in that sense. Almost. I can dig where you are coming from though.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Weird. I have no desire to push limits with someone I don't know. I don't know their limits, so I can't really properly push them. No art in that, it's just overwhelming. Ooooh, look, I can keep hitting you until you safeword, rawr, I'm such a competent top.

And not being willing to top without fucking? Pfft. Somebody is just a bit too horny. Like I said, your group has some "interesting" people in it =P

<-- Agrees with the hat-man. That's not topping; it's just beating on someone. As far as not being willing to top without sex, that's just ridiculous unless there's a long-standing relationship or it's a swingers' BDSM club.

 

[Homburg]

How big is your group? Just curious.

No clue. I've only gone to a handful of events over the past few months. Not huge. We run two munches, one on each side of the major bridge that bifurcates the area. I've not gone to the other side for a munch, and they're supposedly better attended, but the ones here range from 10-20 people in attendance, I'd guess. I've seen as low as six, but that was the day before Thanksgiving, and a lot of people were out of town.

Maybe I need to look for more fluffy service tops. I dunno. Actually, I probably would do better with people who are more into s&m play than the sex. Yeah. Maybe they're all too horny!

Fluffy service top? Check.
More into S&M play than sex? Check (at least insofar as public play is concerned)
Not too horny? Check.

So, how flexible are your shoulders?

 

[Sir_Winston54]

It's not that they're like, I will maim you or NOTHING. It's more that I can tell I'm not giving them what they need. Sadists like dishing out pain. I get it. It just scares me. I'll probably get to do a cool scene at NY's where my dress gets cut off though. Hurrah!

As a sadist, I can easily and happily say, "Yes, I like dishing out pain!" But the fact of the matter is, I like dishing out sensation. Most frequently pain, with the intent of altering it in the mind and body of the receiver, into a pleasurable experience. Dishing it out to the point where someone safewords, however, is not in my repertoire. That's not the intent for me - never has been, never will be. I also like dishing out pleasure - e.g., multiple orgasms - until it's on the verge of painful...

The scene at NY's sounds like fun to watch, though.

 

[nh23]

<-- Agrees with the hat-man. That's not topping; it's just beating on someone. As far as not being willing to top without sex, that's just ridiculous unless there's a long-standing relationship or it's a swingers' BDSM club.

How very true..sadly there seem to be a lot of "Top's" who don't see it that way.

 

[the captians wench]

My first few experiences with bdsm were in arangements that didn't involve sex even in private situations. They did it pruely for the joy of topping me, not because of my oral fixation....tho once the one broke up with his girlfriend he took advantage of that passion as well, not that I minded. *giggles*


my blurt: that was deffinitly an interesting conversation, and two hours with out talking about sex or specific bdsm/sex questions...polite, sweet, gentlemanly, cute, funny....I'm deffinitly curious.

 

[catalina_francisco]

<--or it's a swingers' BDSM club.

Actually I think this is a big reason there are such problems....there are quite a few SM groups which have combined with or shared facilities/events etc., with swingers groups and thus the swingers have assumed SM could become an extension of what they do when they play, on the terms sex has to go with SM play at all times. It's a shame.

Catalina

 

[the captians wench]

Actually I think this is a big reason there are such problems....there are quite a few SM groups which have combined with or shared facilities/events etc., with swingers groups and thus the swingers have assumed SM could become an extension of what they do when they play, on the terms sex has to go with SM play at all times. It's a shame.

Catalina

I remember one playmate I had couldn't imagine the two being seperate. I have to admit that it was fun incorporating sex into bdsm, but it always puzzled me how he believed you couldn't have one with out the other.

 

[intothewoods]

So the funny thing is, our group sort of prides itself on being sex positive. And kind of thumbs it's nose at another local group for being too D/s and not enough sex play. But on the other hand, most of the people in our group would say, ew, SWINGERS! Swingers are out to fuck. People in our group are into pushing boundaries. But they're also really horny.

 

[FungiUg]

As far as not being willing to top without sex, that's just ridiculous unless there's a long-standing relationship or it's a swingers' BDSM club.

Which would probably be why I prefer the "long-standing relationship" thing.

 

[FungiUg]

he believed you couldn't have one with out the other.

I don't have problems believing in one without the other... I just don't wanna.

 

[intothewoods]

Which would probably be why I prefer the "long-standing relationship" thing.

Oh, also, in fairness to these guys, a lot of them (and I mean the core local group) have known each other for years. Though I guess they did meet me this year.

Look people, I'm really hot. What can I say? Basically, I was fresh meat!

 

[the captians wench]

I don't have problems believing in one without the other... I just don't wanna.

When I can have both, I'll take it. *giggles*

but I don't mind pain with out sex....sex with out at least a little bit of d/s and or s&m leaves me a bit unsatisfied.