The Purpose of Sex

[DaddysYogaBabyGirl]

I always get to know my lovers before I fuck them. I think that's important. I don't think it's just about sex either. It's about a connection. There are ways around ED and things. Sex toys, etc. I think if you're having sex with strangers, that could be an issue.

I was just pointing out that the goal of always ending in orgasm is pretty selfish... and that could be stilted emotional issues.

 

[Cyber_Bella]

I was just pointing out that the goal of just ending in orgasm is pretty selfish... and that could be stilted emotional issues.

My love making has never ended after my orgasm. I think the whole point I'm making is that people are truly overthinking what sex looks like. It will be different for most; what sex looks like to a dom is different than what sex looks like to someone vanilla, etc.

 

[KentLondon]

I'd like to believe that passionate older and more mature men enjoy the ACT of sex over the orgasm that finishes it. I believe that it's pleasure we seek, primal and carnal love, with all the human signals our bodies secrete that stimulate all our senses to a higher level of intimacy. The kissing, touching, joining our bodies together, the wetness and the sexual erotica that makes God's physical design such a blessing to share.

Such a mature observation for one so young. As a very mature couple, my wife and I have rekindled our passion as we have grown closer during retirement. We love passionate kissing, and that close entwinement often leads to full sex three or four times a week.

My wife is still shaking off some childhood trauma issues that have affected her throughout her whole life and is now enjoying a greater degree of psychological freedom than ever before. After being bullied and brainwashed by her mother, she grew up with a massive inferiority complex. Sex is one way that I can help her to feel loved for who she is and I always dedicate our lovemaking to giving her the pleasure she deserves.

That can often begin with making sure that our variety of positions are comfortable, both for her back and my knees!

This loving intimacy, and the increasing frequency of her orgasms, has produced an incredible transformation in her behaviour in bed. We have recently learned that she can orgasm from light pussy slapping, and she frequently takes charge by sucking my cock more than ever. After years of being a very reluctant cock sucker she is now doing so vigorously and enthusiastically and frequently swallows my cum.

We are at a time of our lives when we have made our health an absolute priority over work, and our slimmer, more supple bodies are capable of what we love to call our "sex marathons"!

We are both 71.

 

[Beholders_Eye]

I was just pointing out that the goal of always ending in orgasm is pretty selfish... and that could be stilted emotional issues.

Just my opinion: Sex is more than orgasms...but not less.

 

[SmokingFap]

Yes, that was a general blanketed statement. Statistically, when a man cums it's over... unless he has a quick reloading ability.

Obviously, there are many other ways to continue having fun even after a man blows his load and recharges. For example, I love eating my cream pie out of the woman. That tends to be pleasurable for her, as well...

 

[SmokingFap]

We can all agree on that. But, not all men are working towards our orgasm. If the orgasm is all men want they can just masturbate... and many in "dead bed" relationships only have that. Younger guys can't always control their orgasms... they just show off their manhood and squirt without much effort. I think if you're both going in just focused on the orgasm it can be truly disappointing. He may cum faster than you... then what? Depending on his bedroom etiquette he may not go in for the extra oral or the determined fingering to help get you off. He may be insensitive and out for the count.

Or.. what if he is struggling with ED issues? Right in the middle he's run out of steam and stiffness... if you aren't focused on the orgasm... the enjoyment can still be in the kissing and hugs and touching and body contact.

Striving for the LOVE MAKING and FUCKING is far better and it doesn't end up being a disappointment.

To each their own.

 

[DaddysYogaBabyGirl]

Obviously, there are many other ways to continue having fun even after a man blows his load and recharges. For example, I love eating my cream pie out of the woman. That tends to be pleasurable for her, as well...

Of course, as I wrote in another post... if the man has good bedroom etiquette it won't end with his cumming... he'd be sensitive to move to something else... However, statistics prove when a man "finishes" he's done.

FROM GOOGLE UNIVERSITY: The refractory period, or the time after orgasm when a man is not sexually responsive, can vary widely from a few minutes to more than a day. On average a man can return to sex in 30 minutes... or as soon as 15 minutes for younger men... or up to 20 hours for men over 60. Some men may even have no recovery period or one that lasts less than 10 seconds.

 

[SmokingFap]

Of course, as I wrote in another post... if the man has good bedroom etiquette it won't end with his cumming... he's be sensitive to move to something else... However, statistics prove when a man "finishes" he's done.

FROM GOOGLE UNIVERSITY: The refractory period, or the time after orgasm when a man is not sexually responsive, can vary widely from a few minutes to more than a day. On average a man can return to sex in 30 minutes... or as soon as 15 minutes for younger men... or up to 20 hours for men over 60. Some men may even have no recovery period or one that lasts less than 10 seconds.

God, the days when I was young when it only took me 5 or 10 minutes to get hard again...

 

[SmokingFap]

Of course, as I wrote in another post... if the man has good bedroom etiquette it won't end with his cumming... he's be sensitive to move to something else... However, statistics prove when a man "finishes" he's done.

FROM GOOGLE UNIVERSITY: The refractory period, or the time after orgasm when a man is not sexually responsive, can vary widely from a few minutes to more than a day. On average a man can return to sex in 30 minutes... or as soon as 15 minutes for younger men... or up to 20 hours for men over 60. Some men may even have no recovery period or one that lasts less than 10 seconds.

I was always pretty disciplined about not shooting my shot until my partner was completely satisfied. I think that was easier than trying to get it up again.

 

[Pad_Foot]

Hell? I’d be happy to use a cock ring, viagra, a penis sheath, have my face ground to mush, even get pegged.
But? All that takes some interest from my partner in the pleasure of sex.
Orgasms ain’t all that anymore. Pleasing someone else? That’s still fun.
That just doesn’t happen anymore
Sex is dead

 

[dkak001]

My wife and I have been reading a book called "Sexual Intelligence" by Marty Klein...

Did finish that book a while ago. Was a decent read, although a lot felt like common sense or review.

Another decent read is "Come as you are" by Emily Nagoski. The material focuses on sexual pleasure and similar things as the Sexual Intelligence book, but more for a female audience. Again, most of the material seems common sense, but it offers different perspectives so is worth reading. We are reading this one together. Honestly, I think She is getting more from this one that He is. But still worth the time from.

 

[angelwingsub]

Such a mature observation for one so young. As a very mature couple, my wife and I have rekindled our passion as we have grown closer during retirement. We love passionate kissing, and that close entwinement often leads to full sex three or four times a week.

My wife is still shaking off some childhood trauma issues that have affected her throughout her whole life and is now enjoying a greater degree of psychological freedom than ever before. After being bullied and brainwashed by her mother, she grew up with a massive inferiority complex. Sex is one way that I can help her to feel loved for who she is and I always dedicate our lovemaking to giving her the pleasure she deserves.

That can often begin with making sure that our variety of positions are comfortable, both for her back and my knees!

This loving intimacy, and the increasing frequency of her orgasms, has produced an incredible transformation in her behaviour in bed. We have recently learned that she can orgasm from light pussy slapping, and she frequently takes charge by sucking my cock more than ever. After years of being a very reluctant cock sucker she is now doing so vigorously and enthusiastically and frequently swallows my cum.

We are at a time of our lives when we have made our health an absolute priority over work, and our slimmer, more supple bodies are capable of what we love to call our "sex marathons"!

We are both 71.

Absolutely brilliant

 

[likitisplit]

is to make you feel totally exhausted from giving up all your orgasms you could have, to make you feel totally and fully pleased sexually in every way, and to leave you feeling like a goddess with tears in your eyes, your hair and bed both fuck all up, your makeup worse thinking, ha...i thought i'd been fucked before i didn't know i'd never been fucked before til now!

 

[Wonderer67]

This is a really interesting thread. Shows the varied ways people engage in and what they want out of sex. Highlights how different we can be.

Thank you all for sharing your perspectives. As my username indicates, I am a wonderer and have always wondered how people look at sex.

I posted early on in the thread. My wife is 67 and I am 57. For us, sex is:

Fucking
Love making
Feeling really good
Connection
Cumming
Controlling my orgasm (not cumming)
Sometimes involves penetrative sex
Sometimes masturbatory sex (solo or together)
Elements of BDSM/control for both of us
Closeness
Love
Trust
Intimacy
Trying new things
Being vulnerable

 

[KentLondon]

Absolutely brilliant

Thank you! X

 

[OralDave]

Of course, as I wrote in another post... if the man has good bedroom etiquette it won't end with his cumming... he'd be sensitive to move to something else... However, statistics prove when a man "finishes" he's done.

FROM GOOGLE UNIVERSITY: The refractory period, or the time after orgasm when a man is not sexually responsive, can vary widely from a few minutes to more than a day. On average a man can return to sex in 30 minutes... or as soon as 15 minutes for younger men... or up to 20 hours for men over 60. Some men may even have no recovery period or one that lasts less than 10 seconds.

I think older men last a lot longer than younger guys-- true here. That sort of makes up for a slower recovery time.

 

[OralDave]

Yes, that was a general blanketed statement. Statistically, when a man cums it's over... unless he has a quick reloading ability.

The man's orgasm is over, but not his sexual urges, fondling and cuddling-- and let's not forget that an amorous guy will go down on his lady after they fuck. Well, some of us do.

 

[Wonderer67]

I think older men last a lot longer than younger guys-- true here. That sort of makes up for a slower recovery time.

i always wanted to please my partner and make them feel good, but inevitably it came down to my orgasm.

Now, we have great long, marathon sessions. When I get close, I stop or slow down… sometimes I withdraw and wait a moment. Sometimes I edge inside her. I know it’s not for everyone, but my wife controls my orgasm - I cum every few weeks. (Sometimes there are mistakes which are fun and “punished.”)

It has changed the dynamic of our sex lives. Sometimes we fuck for an hour or more. I have become addicted to the feeling of edging and not cumming.

So for me, the purpose of sex is to make her feel as good as possible.

 

[drobert44]

I'd like to believe that passionate older and more mature men enjoy the ACT of sex over the orgasm that finishes it. I believe that it's pleasure we seek, primal and carnal love, with all the human signals our bodies secrete that stimulate all our senses to a higher level of intimacy. The kissing, touching, joining our bodies together, the wetness and the sexual erotica that makes God's physical design such a blessing to share.

The hunt is better than the kill.

 

[sydneyboy123]

I have ed. We still have a weekly date, Friday night. We masturbate together. She uses her toys, two vibrators and I masturbate my soft penis. She calls it a "flabby dick" and often uses more humiliating language. I remember her saying to me, while using some lube on my flaccid dick, "I couldn't even keep it in my hand it was so small, squishy soft and slippery, It slipped out of my hand." I love watching her masturbating with her toys. When she gets close to cumming, she moans a little. I get so horny rubbing my soft penis. She begins to cum, the first of many. I start jerking myself faster. She watches me a little and says things, humiliating things about my penis. She has many orgasms, many more than when we used to fuck. When she has satisfied herself, she asks if I want to continue jerking myself, or if I want a hand job. I always choose the hand job. She knows just how to rub my useless soft dick. She rubs with her fingertips on the underside of my penis, just below the head. I explode with pee into her hand. Yes pee, cause I can't shoot semen anymore. The surgery that left me with ed also took care of the slippery cum. Instead I shoot pee. It's so messy and we both love the mess. We are both in our 70's.

 

[KuriousCupid]

@MichelleSwan

I like how you wrote , how you expressed yourself. If you are open to a new friend who is younger in his late 30s… let me know.

wtaf dude

 

[PhiloDaddy]

Of course, as I wrote in another post... if the man has good bedroom etiquette it won't end with his cumming... he'd be sensitive to move to something else... However, statistics prove when a man "finishes" he's done.

I was taught that mutual orgasms are the goal. If you can learn how to match each other's energy you can make this happen pretty consistently. There's nothing more exciting than feeling a woman's vagina pulsing and feeling her hips and legs clench and seeing her nipples flush as she yells "fuuuuckk" while you cum inside her. A close second is making a woman cum with my fingers or a toy while I cum in her mouth.

Of course, creating a safe and comfortable space to enjoy each other and having a compatible energy and similar level ofemotional intelligence is also important.

 

[MileHighBlackDiamond]

Of course, as I wrote in another post... if the man has good bedroom etiquette it won't end with his cumming... he'd be sensitive to move to something else... However, statistics prove when a man "finishes" he's done.

FROM GOOGLE UNIVERSITY: The refractory period, or the time after orgasm when a man is not sexually responsive, can vary widely from a few minutes to more than a day. On average a man can return to sex in 30 minutes... or as soon as 15 minutes for younger men... or up to 20 hours for men over 60. Some men may even have no recovery period or one that lasts less than 10 seconds.

I don't have a refractory period, stay hard and can keep going after cumming....which she takes advantage of it regularly, though I always make sure she has orgasmed multiple times before I do.

 

[drobert44]

I don't have a refractory period, stay hard and can keep going after cumming....which she takes advantage of it regularly, though I always make sure she has orgasmed multiple times before I do.

20 minutes for me, and my GF is playing with it in 3 minutes.

 

[FunNSpice]

Resolved: Sex is for fucking, not for cumming
Discuss.

My wife and I have been reading a book called "Sexual Intelligence" by Marty Klein. It's all about developing a healthy mind about sex. Basically it's about improving your sex life by knowing yourself and your partner better, not by any sexal technique or trick. We are getting a lot out of it. Klein talks a lot about orgasms. He says that focusing on orgasm is unhealthy and incorrect. We should consider an orgasm like dessert to a meal. It's not the main event, but it's a nice bonus. This thinking has been a major change for both of us. My wife doesn't have to worry about cumming (Will I? Can I?) I don't have to worry about whether or not she cums (Am I pleasing her enough?)

He also talks about adapting to our bodies as they are, not as we want them to be. We are in our 60s and our bodies do not work like they did in our 20s and 30s. I'm not as hard, she's not as wet. How do we make those things work? Is it still sex if there's no penetration? (Yes, it is.)

The last two times we've made love, since getting to this part in the book, have been a revelation. (Background: I just had shoulder surgery and am basically one-armed while recovering. Sex is her on top only.) What's different is that we're not fucking to cum any more. We're fucking to fuck. She got on top of me and moved some, but also stayed still. We just enjoyed the feelings of me being inside her, touching each other with hands and mouths. I lasted longer than I've ever lasted, without even much effort. The joy of sex for me is having a hard cock, and being inside my wife. I could probably spend hours that way. And if neither of us have an orgasm, it's fine. We're spending time being intimate with each other, and being horny and turned on.

Back to my premise: The purpose of sex is to enjoy fucking. Fucking means kissing and touching, means eating her pussy and sucking my cock. Means me being inside her. Means our hands and mouths all over each other. Means whispering words of love and words of lust. It also means having orgasms. Fucking means all of those things, and whatever specifically happens or doesn't happen are less important than that we're doing sex together. I'm telling you, this realization blew my mind. Last night I had the best sex I've ever had in my life, and I can't wait to repeat that.

I'm willing to bet many of you guys already knew this. How did you learn it? How does it affect your sex life? What else do you know about having great sex - not techniques but thoughts and knowledge?

Just got onto this thread. I could not more agree that over time sex changes in significant ways but remains desirable. It becomes more playful (hopefully), and yes, the feeling of being inside my wife creates a tremendous intimacy. If she cums, great - if clitoral play adds, great - if I cum, bonus for both