the sarcastic & passive aggressive thanksgiving thread

[elli1point1]

what it says on the tin. bring it on!

thank you, students, for the horrible essays I have to mark; I love how the fact that you've clearly not been paying attention in class forces me to work on my self-control.

 

[ydahecnot]

Thank you for taking your time to reply. Unemployment is sooo underrated, and you have helped me to see that waiting is bliss

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Thank you elli for making this thread because im not sarcastic and passive aggressive enough already

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Thank you depression meds for preventing me from having an orgasm today and thus giving me no orgasms to be thankful for on Thanksgiving

 

[elli1point1]

thank you, family members, for continuing to ask me if i have found bf yet – i have no other things on my mind at all.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

thank you, family members, for continuing to ask me if i have found bf yet – i have no other things on my mind at all.

Well have you?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

 

[elli1point1]

Well have you?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

thank you, honey, for existing; it's so therapeutic to be able to call a motherly figure 'cunt' on a regular basis.

 

[jaF0]

Get stuffed.

 

[PapaRomantic]

Thank you, fucked up digestive system, for giving me plenty of shit to ponder as a 4-hour drive looms through the desolate areas of my state.....

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

thank you, honey, for existing; it's so therapeutic to be able to call a motherly figure 'cunt' on a regular basis.

Yw (insert your actual first name here).

And here's a nice big hug cos I know how much you like them. (((((((HUGGG)))))))

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Get stuffed.

Oh I remember you! You're the one who's so fond of knife play!

 

[elli1point1]

Get stuffed.

about your carrots....

http://www.carrotmuseum.co.uk/history.html

 

[elli1point1]

Yw (insert your actual first name here).

And here's a nice big hug cos I know how much you like them. (((((((HUGGG)))))))

thank you. I love you.




#sarcasm

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Thank you, fucked up digestive system, for giving me plenty of shit to ponder as a 4-hour drive looms through the desolate areas of my state.....

Poop behind a tumbleweed?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

thank you. I love you.




#sarcasm

I brought you flowers -->

 

[elli1point1]

I brought you flowers -->

thanks. I'm glad you're here, because I kinda ran out of things to be sarcastic or passive aggressive about
you make up for it

 

[elli1point1]

oh, got another one:

thank you, copper coil, for fucking up the perfectly punctual cycle I've had for a decade. I love surprises.

 

[jaF0]

Carrots?

Oh. OK. Never mind.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

thanks. I'm glad you're here, because I kinda ran out of things to be sarcastic or passive aggressive about
you make up for it

Note there are five, because I remembered your affinity for odd numbers.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

oh, got another one:

thank you, copper coil, for fucking up the perfectly punctual cycle I've had for a decade. I love surprises.

Small price to pay for the benefits, no?

 

[PapaRomantic]

Poop behind a tumbleweed?

Trickier than it sounds, since they have a tendency to be moving all the time!

 

[elli1point1]

Carrots?

Oh. OK. Never mind.

you are very welcome

 

[elli1point1]

post-TG-bump.

anyone wanna thank themselves for eating/drinking too much yesterday?

 

[vibes]

Thank you for bombarding our bollocks with ads about Black Friday in a country where there is no such thing as Thanksgiving ... like at all