Theology and Potential MMF, i have a dilema.

[lilnawtyone]

The bible has meant so many things to so many people in so many ways. Take incest for instance. Its forbidden. It says so in the bible.

So, along comes Lot, who not only fucks his own daughters, but impregnates them as well. Now God, instead of punishing him for his transgressions, he blesses their offspring.

So, if your damning your soul cause you would like a threesome, I'm sure God wont smite you off the face of the earth, or condemn your soul to the burning pits of hell.

Except Lot was in Genesis (and his daughters got him drunk and screwed him, not the other way around), which came before the Book of Leviticus which separates those of the land of Egypt and those of the land of Canaan and lays down the laws for sexuality in chapter 18. It is against this type of behavior.

Not only would the husband be committing a sin, but according Leviticus, the other man and the wife would be committing the sin. So to further the dilemma, one who is religious would have to consider the souls of the other two involved. Would it be right to have the others corrupt their souls for your own desire?

Look at the story of the apple and Adam & Eve. They were tossed out of the Garden of Eden because they let their desire come before God.

It really just comes down to how much you really believe in the scripture and what you are willing to risk, which would be not only your soul but the souls of the others involved. Something to think about anyway if you actually believe.

 

[gamescanbefun12]

I dont know what to do. I appreciate the website mention. Maybe I will go home, fuck my wife for the best five minutes of her life, while calling her a whore for wanting to fuck another man while we both cum together. Sounds like a plan. Lol. Or exchange pm's about sharing wives.
Good times.

 

[michelle3]

Bibles and sex?

Hi All
I am not into the bible, but good god it is hot to see your wife with another man, my wife loves to be fucked by well hung black men and i love to watch. It has happened six times since we were married and it is soo hot each time. We are going to the mountains of Va. next week in search of some BBC for her. Wish me luck and if your wife desires a threesome then by all means go for it, she will love you for it.
Michelle

 

[Dagwood_B]

Hello everyone. As the title states, I have a dilema. See I am a Christian which is not the problem. The problem is that in recent history, approximately 2 years, I have been developing this fantasy where my gf, well now my wife, is involved with a threesome with me and a former lover of hers. I get so turned on thinking about her getting screwed by another man even getting cummed in and then I have sex with her afterwards. It's really hot in my head and my wife is completely on board with it and we have someone in mind, but I get cold feet after the initial excitement has passed. I mean we made holy vows before Go d not to be with anyone else. That means something. Right? Is there any Christians on here who might have some insight? Thanks for the future responses.

I do understand you dilemma, but above all, a man has to be true to himself and his core beliefs. No one can tell you what to do, but whatever your decision, it has to be something that you can live with later. Perhaps a three-way might be the right thing for you and your wife, or perhaps you are being tested. Perhaps your answer does not lie in the Bible; perhaps you should ask God for guidance. The Christian God is not an intolerant, hate-filled God, the Christian God is an understanding and loving God.

 

[gamescanbefun12]

Been almost a year, and throughout the past year we never did the threesome due to not being available at the same time the other person was, and we also got pregnant. Lol. Currently has been six months since the birth of our child, and we are starting to get that itch again but even more intense.
The need to have my wife fucked by another guy is kinda still crazy, but we are committed to it and we have the other person available and ready, just have to have our schedules align. I am nervous about doing it but I am looking forward to it. The way it will go, is I am letting my wife fuck the other guy alone, and come home to me that night. Then the future encounters will be together.
My wife and I have weak areas of our marriage but we are stronger than we were a year ago too.

Wanted to give update, and hear any new advice/thoughts. Thanks guys/gals!

 

[desiree_d]

Broken Vow?

Honestly, there is no real justification for having a threesome, if you have Belief or not. A vow was made, that should not be broken. If it did not turn me on so much thinking about her being with another man and him cumming in her and then her coming home to me with a pussy full of cum or doing the act at the same time this would not be a problem man do I want this though.

I will try to voice my opinion without sounding to bitter and insensitive to your belief. Yes you and your wife vowed to be married (please forgive the paraphrasing) till death do you part, in sickness & health, for better for worse, for richer and poor, in good times and bad.

Well, you and your wife would be engaging in an activity that is definately "for better and in good times" if you pursued this fantasy without her, I could understand your reluctance. Particularly since my ex-husband forgot ALL of the above, betrayal at that level is definately breaking some serious vows.

I tried to write this coherently, the real point is I agree with the other posts that if your wife is a willing participant, do it. Because at some time in life, your vows will be challenged by something far more difficult to "rationalize" or get through.

 

[michael2956]

I'm a former minister who went to law school (how's that for a dichotomy?). I also teach a course in ethics and the law. That being said, I don't have an answer for you, except to say that you're not alone. I've given alot of thought over the last few years about the relationship between sex and religion. Over the last 10 years I've found myself becoming more interested in things like light S&M, and threesomes. I've posted in other threads a fantasy that's becoming more and more prevelant involving involving a threesome with my wife (or someone else) and my best friend..;..and the thought of sucking his cock during the encounter never fails to get me hard. My wife and I talk about this when we have sex and it gets her off, but when I bring it up outside the bedroom, she lets me know it's something she'd never consider. I grew up in a very conservative church and left it 20 years ago and now a member (an active member) of a mainline denomination that doesn't emphasize hell or guilt. I question how much my conservative background contributed to the "need" to experiment with kinky sex. I know spanking and flogging (giving and receiving) turn me on. My bi-sexual fantasies (but only if another woman is part of it) drive me crazy. I've acted out the S&M and don't feel any guilt at all. I'm not sure how I'd feel about the threesome and sucking cock, being sucked, ass-fucking, the whole gamut. I want very much to find out, but because of my background, I think there would still be some guilt and fear. That being said, I'm pretty sure that if the opportunity presented itself, I'd go for it, and deal with the reprecusions (if any) afterward. I spent alot of my life repressing my desires and as I enter middle age, I'm ready (I think) to try new things. God (no pun intended)....writing this as gotten me hard as a rock! Sorry if this is disconnected and rambling, but you've caused me to think about my own life and desires. Like everyone else, I'm interested to know how this plays out.

 

[gamescanbefun12]

@desiree, Iam sorry hun. I could not imagine secretly betraying my wife or her me. We are so very open to what we really want and hope that doesn't change. I hate my fellow gender sometimes due to how much we can hurt those we are attached to. Though the finer sex, can do the hurting, just as much but I take it more personally when men betray women. Something protective arises out of me when I hear things like that.

@former minister. ( sorry, typing on my phone, and its a hassle to go back to the previous page to get your name again, lol.) We are in a similar spot that I think many men can find themselves, though I do not want everything you mentioned, I can appreciate where you are at.

Though I am disheartened that a church does not want to emphasise guilt or hell, as they are on the same path to redemption and forgiveness, unless you are referring to those churches that do nothing but scare people to believe, which achieves nothing.

Anyways, but to sex, right?! Lol. I am hoping in the next couple weeks that an opportunity will present itself to allow some fun times to be had. And if our feelings for each other do not change, ie: guilt, being jealous, etc, then these times might then continue.

 

[Cookie123]

Congrats on the new baby!

 

[gamescanbefun12]

random but

I am open to role playing pms if nothing but to pass time. Lol.

 

[Bbb13]

I am open to role playing pms if nothing but to pass time. Lol.

I'm here if she wants

 

[OnceFuturePoly]

At your wedding you and your spouse made a contract. God, your best man, matron of honor, preacher, congregation, et. al. were witnesses.

Unless you are trying to enforce the contract, the witnesses are not relevant. You would never call them to testify to the contract unless the other party disagreed about it.

Contracts can always be renegotiated. Even the term (length), as in "till death do you part". Q.V. divorce.

So if you and your spouse agree to change the terms, no problem.

Just make a new contract.

If you want witnesses, just ask. You can even "re-affirm" your new vows in a church ceremony, presuming you find a proper minister.

(A lawyer might be needed if the new terms conflict with a per-nuptial agreement or would be contrary to state laws about marriage.)

 

[OnceFuturePoly]

Then there's our problem...

We wrote our marriage vows, exactly as we wanted them, and the %^&#! minister inserted a bunch of stuff we didn't want (like "for each other and from all others").

So, surprised in mid ceremony, how do we gracefully object?

Do we way "I do", meaning "we don't"?

Do we say "except for the junk you added, yes"?

Do we cross our fingers and mentally agree to that we wrote, ignoring that fact the minister read something different?

We didn't embarrass the minister by disagreeing, but when we got home we took the written copy we'd given the minister and posted it. That's what we wanted, and that's what we observed.

I say observed past tense, because we have renegotiated a couple of times. And the current contract hangs on the wall.

 

[gamescanbefun12]

@once....
That is a really interesting way to do things. I like the idea of posting/framing your marriage vows, and even updating them, if the need arises. Hmm. How long have you been married?

 

[bob53]

The important part is doing it together with each others full consent.
That way there is no loss of trust in the relationship. ( loss of trust )
The two of you determine the rules and interpretation of the rules of relationship.
As long as the 2 of you are in agreement then what is the issue?

There is also nothing that says the two of you can change the original terms of the relationship ( or interpretations ) at any time.

Check out some of the threads at swingersboard.com for more info.

 

[OnceFuturePoly]

@once....
That is a really interesting way to do things. I like the idea of posting/framing your marriage vows, and even updating them, if the need arises. Hmm. How long have you been married?

10 years wed. Together 13.

It all started with a 60 day exclusivity agreement, which kept getting morphed.

Now it's a polyamorous primary relationship, plus legal marriage.

PS: Second bob53's mention of swingersboard.com

 

[gamescanbefun12]

Good stuff, thanks for comments and ideas. anyone else want to chime in?

@oncefuture, congrats on length of time married. That's awesome.

This week, I believe will be the week when the sharing of the wife the will happen as I am off for the majority of the week. Nervous and excited at the same time and so is my wife.

 

[Somehowyou]

It's all a crock!

All religions were invented by man. Find one that suits you and allows you to have the 3-sum if a 3-sum is what you want.

 

[njlauren]

The only negative comment I have for you is you have a young child and you are experimenting with something that some people really get off on (threesome/hot wife, whatever), but also something that in reality when it happens can rip a marriage apart. I don't know your wife or yourself or your story, so what I am write may or may not match your story, but from everything I have ever heard of or seen directly, your marriage needs to be pretty strong to do what you are planning...and when you dealing with a baby, it makes it even more tricky, if the experience with our own kid holds up. Your wife could be feeling a lot of things about being a mom, and it isn't always sweetness and light, and the emotions of doing what you guys are planning might bring out unexpected things.....given the nature of having a young child, emotions are all over the place, and one of the things that would concern/concerns me is given all that, could this lead to something less then stellar, like the wife potentially falling for the other person (as I said in my initial words, I don't know the OP from Adam, I am talking in general). There also is the factor that unless what I hear and experienced is out of the norm, sex with young baby is difficult because of the demands of the child, and how will dad feel if he prob hasn't been getting all that much attention and sex and then his wife is having sex with another guy.......that kind of jealousy is not rare, from being around parents of newborns, including being one myself at one point, and it is my concern...on the other hand, the OP and his wife could very well be perfectly fine, but wanted to put out the caution.

As far as whether Christianity allows this or doesn't, it really depends on how you view the bible and Christ. Yeah, the marriage vows, written in a time and place where birth control was unknown and a very real fear of having children not your own talks about forsaking all others, being true and virtuous and such, but what is that really saying? Sure, it is very easy to quite bible and scripture, claiming this is is the truth, but in reality other than to fundamentalists it isn't that easy. Marriage vows are an oath between two people, and that is the key point, it is between the two people and is an expression of their relationship. The sacredness isn't in the vows someone came up with or what someone wrote in the bible, it is in the love between the two people and how they choose to express it. Where the vow is broken isn't if the husband or wife has sex with other people, it is if in doing so they are breaking the vow itself, which is to love and cherish each other....cheating is breaking that vow, having sex with another isn't the problem, it is in the disrespect and breaking the truth bond and love bond that is the problem. If a couple truly believes they should have sex only with each other and that is how they see expressing their love, then they probably shouldn't go outside, at least not unless they renegotiate their vows or decide they mean something different. Vows are made in the heart, not what some 2000 year old people wrote or didn't write, and that is what mater.

Keep in mind that things that a lot of 'good Christians' do inside the marriage violates what is supposedly moral law, according to the Catholic church oral sex, anal sex or stroking each other to orgasm is violation of moral law because it isn't 'open to life' (i.e making babies) and other' Christians' believe that.....the point being that if you want to, you can cite Christian scripture to mean that sex is only to make babies and that is it and otherwise is dirty (as more then a few churches did).

From my perspective, ask yourself the question if what you are doing brings you more together, makes you love and desire each other more, or does it fulfill sexual desire but seems to do so by pulling you apart? If the wife having sex outside the marriage truly makes the two people desire and love each other more, if it strengthens their love and respect for each other, if emotionally it brings them closer together rather then draw them apart, then I think it is fine.'...think about the golden rule, that is the basis for Christianity, when Christ said to do unto others as you would have done unto yourself; if what you are doing is an expression of love and is bringing that unto yourself and your partner, then I don't think your problem is with God. Heed each other, love each other, respect each other, and the rest will fall into place IMO..and if some preacher or some 'Christians" don't like it, they should read the bible a bit closer about judging others

 

[xssve]

I don't know if it's justification or absolution you're looking for, lilnawtyone is correct, the prohibitions against adultery are pretty clear, but it's on the adulterer and the adulteress, i.e., it really doesn't say anything about the "wronged" party, so as far as I can tell you have no liability here by the letter of the law, so if you choose to forgive them, it could be construed as an act of mercy on your part.

None of this stuff applies to concubines of course, only wives, and in spite of all the current obsession with celibacy outside of wedlock, the people who wrote the bible apparently did it with impunity and regularity.

I know they married their concubines occasionally, I don't know if there was any wives who were "hobby concubines", but I'm sure there must be a loophole there somewhere. A lot of that stuff is basically about keeping track of who's child was whose, or suppressing the more liberal female religions (David flirted with feminine religions, but apparently it was his son Solomon who went overboard, not telling what went on there - but if there are no paternity issues or you don't care, then the law need not be involved.

Judges 17:6 says: "In those days there was no king in Israel: every man did that which was right in his own eyes".

Technically, I think that applies here, while personally, I would say that whatever is done in the spirit of love is forgivable, which is the more NT approach, although I've no doubt there are those who would dispute that.

I'm biased towards Butlerian ethics here, an attempt to synthesize Christian morality with secular morality, which in a nutshell says" all's well that ends well".

And, as njlauren suggests above, the theological issues pale in comparison to the emotional/interpersonal issues a threesome can raise. On the other hand, it might be totally awesome if everybody can handle it like adults.

 

[Little Bird]

Well, we don't stone people for wearing polyester or having tattoos, or forbid people with disabilities to enter a church, so a literal interpretation of what things are forbidden and which ones are permissable wouldn't get us anywhere.

Instead the question must be what people at the time of writing were feeling, that they saw such things that are now completely mundane as something horrible?
And since we're all just people, none of us has any claim for being the one person who knows better than anyone else. So one simply has to trust that it is inside oneself to be able to tell between right or wrong, even if one doesn't really understand why. I think that's what one would call 'having faith'.

In the end, it is all about not hurting others and helping everyone to become happy. We don't live in the desert, we are not nomads, and do not live in clans that will die if they do not stick together under all circumstances. Some things that were just too risky to bring lots of grief to many people are now things that are not so bad and can be solved peacefully. And other things everyone was okay with in the past would now cause a lot of grief and anger for us today.

Sex with more than two people has always been difficult and will always be. But today we don't face the threat of ending up in a war with the next town over it, or being exiled and left to starve. Today, the scales are much more even when it comes to comparing the possible negative consequences with our need to be happy. For some couples it won't ever be a problem, for others it would never work out well. And if you are in a relationship where it will make you both happy and there is little chance of things turning out badly, that's something only youself can say.
If it feels completely right, but you have doubt because someone else said it is wrong, have faith that you both are able to feel if it's alright or if it's too much of a risk.
But even if someone says that there is no objective reason why it would be wrong. If you still feel unsure and have doubts about, then trust your feelings that this will cause grief, and leave it be.

 

[KinkyMuse]

I'm also a Christian and female. When I get married I will be taking my vows seriously. I have no problem with honoring that promise. I'm not personally fond of the threesome idea since I don't like to share. So that's one activity, for me at least, that's best left alone.

 

[PoetessEm]

so religion aside here, i can say i have been in a relationship with my [now husband] and a sharing episode came up at one point. what was supposed to be an erotic photoshoot with his best friend, progressed a tad.. it progressed to 'just the tip', and then 'might as well go all the way'... which lead to a full on session while my bf watched.

i can say without a doubt that is mindblowing, yes. probably the most erotic thing ever. but in the moments of the aftermath a whole rainbow of emotions came over me such as; embarrassed, pissed, cheap, euphoric, humored, etc.

eventually i chalked it up to a learning experience between two [3] consenting adults, i can laugh about it now... at the time it was overwhelming though.

just remember that some things cannot be undone. not saying not to do it, just be aware of that

p.s. it is superhot watching and being watched in front of your SO.

 

[gamescanbefun12]

Update

So, I can not believe that this happened, but my wife left this morning to meet up with a former fbuddy. I was aware of it beforehand. My wife called me as she was coming home and I asked for all the details. They did have sex. Guess he only lasted less than five minutes but they had more foreplay. This created a lot of mixed feelings, but I admit to being turned on. She got home and we fell into bed a little bit after she got home. It was brief, intense, passionate, and got us both very turned on. We both orgasmed nearly at the sametime.

Afterwards, we both laughed and kissed and said I love you''s to each other. It was awesome.

The problem was that we rarely had those things on a consistent basis. We are talking more today than we had in days. I don't know if I will allow her to do it again but I am loving the emotional high we are both on still.

Seriously crazy.

 

[OnceFuturePoly]

VVG!

Savor the NRE.