Theology and Potential MMF, i have a dilema.

[MatthewVett]

so religion aside here, i can say i have been in a relationship with my [now husband] and a sharing episode came up at one point. what was supposed to be an erotic photoshoot with his best friend, progressed a tad.. it progressed to 'just the tip', and then 'might as well go all the way'... which lead to a full on session while my bf watched.

i can say without a doubt that is mindblowing, yes. probably the most erotic thing ever. but in the moments of the aftermath a whole rainbow of emotions came over me such as; embarrassed, pissed, cheap, euphoric, humored, etc.

eventually i chalked it up to a learning experience between two [3] consenting adults, i can laugh about it now... at the time it was overwhelming though.

just remember that some things cannot be undone. not saying not to do it, just be aware of that

p.s. it is superhot watching and being watched in front of your SO.

This sounds like an amazing plot bunny...

 

[pplwatching]

Forsaking all others is seemingly cut and dry however if we both are sexually satisfied in our marriage as well as being content with the other aspects of the marriage and we do a threesome and those things do not change then I think we would be fine.

I'm late to this thread, but I think it's important to take a moment and reflect on the fact that marrige is more than just the words that we speak or contract that we make when we say our vows. Marriage is a commitment that I renew every day to helping my spouse become the best person that she can possibly be. I commit myself every day to creating an emotional and physical environment in which she is safe, loved, and encoraged to grow as a person.

Being a Christian is a choice. Because my wife is a Christian, and In terms of Christianity, I am helping her to prepare to eventually join Christ. Because I am a Catholic (not a great one, but one none the less) I believe that my love for my wife, including sex, is a manifestation of Christ's love for us and therefore a sacrement. I give my wife the sacrement of marriage every day, not just on the day we exchanged vows.

I'm a pretty crappy Catholic, all things considered. My wife will always be my priority though. When she once asked me long ago if I'd like a threesome I told her no, because it would adulterate our relationship. I actually just said it wouldn't be good for us, but the definition of the word adulterate is to render (something) poorer in quality by adding another substance, typically an inferior one. If we look just at this basic definition, anything that makes my relationship with my wife weaker adulterates my marriage. Anything that makes her relationship with Christ weaker adulterates that relationship. In my humble opinion if we choose to add a lesser sexual relationship with another person to our marriage we are making the marriage poorer in quality, therefore adulterating it.

In today's Christianity we all have a cafeteria plan. We pick and choose the things we like, ignore things that we don't like or don't suit our desires, and still call ourselves Christians. It's not my place to judge if that's the right thing to do, but it's worked for me so far. In the end it comes down to what I value. The question that I have to ask myself is at what point am I no longer living the principles that I value, Christian (Catholic) or otherwise. At what point am I no longer protecting the things that I value? From there knowing what to do, or not to do, gets easier.

Just my $.02

 

[fgarvb1]

I'm not really sure how this is a religious or theological issue. I've never heard vows in any wedding I've ever been to that said the couple would only have sex with each other and no one else.

What I have heard in every wedding I've attended, including my own, were vows to remain faithful to, and to cherish and love each other as long as you both shall live. So if you're doing this together, with full consent and in a loving atmosphere I don't see how it's anything to be considered unfaithful. To the contrary, it seems like one of the most loving and cherishing acts I could think of, to enable her to experience something so beautiful and pleasurable. I would consider it to be totally consistent with your vows so long as you're both truly into it.

Just my view. Actually, I would love for my wife to be interested in it, but I'm not going to try to pressure her or coerce her into something she's not completely comfortable with. I would want it to be about fulfilling her desires, not her agreeing to fulfil a fantasy of mine just to get me off her back.

I agree with this.

 

[LuckyBud57]

Actus Purus

Since the "creator " of this thread, "Theology and Potential...MMF". The title reminded me of the convoluted, teleological theology of my favorite of them all..St. Thomas Aquinas...This man was THE...ORIGINAL..."MASTER"; talk about making up stuff as you go..ahem..ur,yummy..Theology, that is..
"... In created beings, the state of potentiality precedes that of actuality; before being realized, a perfection must be capable of realization. But, absolutely speaking, actuality precedes potentiality. For in order to change, a thing must be acted upon, or actualized; change and potentiality presuppose, therefore, a being which is in actu. This actuality, if mixed with potentiality, presupposes another actuality, and so on, until we reach the Actus Purus..
a thing which requires completion by another is said to be in potency to that other: realization of potency is called actuality. The universe is conceived of as a series of things arranged in an ascending order, or potency and act at once crowned and created by God, who alone is pure act. God is changeless because change means passage from potency to act, and so he is without beginning and end, since these demand change. Matter and form are necessary to the understanding of change, for change requires the union of that which becomes and that which it becomes. Matter is the first, and form the second. All physical things are composed of matter and form. The difference between a thing as form or character and the actual existence of it is denoted by the terms essence and being (or existence). It is only in God that there is no distinction between the two. Both pairs - matter & form and essence & being - are special cases of potency and act. They are also modes: modes do not add anything to the idea of being, but are ways of making explicit what is implicit in it...and there ya have it my friend..lmao....Remember my favorite quote; "
change requires the union of that which becomes and that which it becomes"..ahhhh..classical theology..ya gotta love it man!!

..

 

[racerXXXXXX]

From a strictly pragmatic point of view I would recommend you role play situations with another guy or two. Come up with the theme of the encounter, buy some dildos with suction cups and a HOT outfit for her, set up the roles, make some fake cum with powdered sugar and water, have a few drinks and act out the fantasy. I can tell you from experience it is alot of fun.

My point of view is that I could probably talk my wife into a threesome with another guy but at what cost? My wife is my sole mate and she means everything to me and to risk the possibility of damaging our relationship over it is out of the question for me. We both get alot of enjoyment from the role playing and without the negatives. No weird feelings or STD's or word getting around town etc. It's all fantasy and really satisfying but that's just us, perhaps you could handle it or perhaps she doesn't mean that much to you, this just my two cents for what ever it is worth. Good luck!

 

[culloden]

Late to the thread. Non-Christians might not understand, but you likely said words to the effect of "forsaking all others." It's not easy to be a Christian. You will face temptation that to others seems to be opportunity. You know in your heart what is right, and that often contradicts what you want to do.