Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[lovecraft68]

That's not cum, its pus

 

[loquere]

Why's your mom behind you?

 

[loquere]

Peekaboo

 

[loquere]

Yippee ki yay motherfucker

 

[StephenMiletus]

Shit, I forgot to take my anti-schizophrenic meds again!

 

[StephenMiletus]

Have I ever told you that "Henry, Portrait of a Serial Killer" is my most favorite movie of all time?

 

[StephenMiletus]

I want to be like Aileen Wuornos when I grow up.

 

[loquere]

"LET'S PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE!" With Joker makeup

 

[topace]

(When not wearing a condom) either:

"I forgot my pill today"

or

"I shouldn't allow you to fuck me bareback today, cause I'm fertile today"

 

[loquere]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o

 

[loquere]

Do you mind putting a bag over your head?-Stolen from the above video

 

[StephenMiletus]

What are you doing with my American Girl doll?

 

[loquere]

Who you?

 

[loquere]

Why are you freezing?

 

[StephenMiletus]

Why are you taking your clothes off? I invited you up to tell you about Scientology: how it saved my life & will make you more able in life!

 

[loquere]

Yes maybe I don't know

 

[TE999]

"When you're done I wanna watch 'My Little Pony'."

 

[TE999]

"You can use some of my salve."

 

[TE999]

"Why are you turning blue?"

 

[TE999]

"Whoops, I think I overdid it with those Kegel Exercises."

 

[TE999]

"What part of 'I'm a Transvestite' did you not understand?"

 

[TE999]

"Lift my balls, see, there it is."

 

[LaRascasse]

Are you having a heart attack or is that your orgasm face?

 

[Handley_Page]

The Fire Alarm

 

[loquere]

"fuck me like a nun."