Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[Whimsical_Enchantress]

"What is that awful smell?"

 

[PoisonPen33]

"While I have you here, I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."

 

[RNJAG]

It’s so much better if I pick the scabs first, right?

 

[jaykaythree]

"Forty cents more for the next ... three ... minutes ..."

 

[Rustyoznail]

"Forty cents more for the next ... three ... minutes ..."

Please, Mrs Avery, I just wanted to talk to her.

But I guess I'd better get back next door...

 

[RNJAG]

You probably have a tree in your yard you regularly admire. Maybe it towers over your home, shading you in the summer or perhaps its stature is shorter and produces beautiful blooms each spring. It may be a tree you’ve tied a swing to or one you gaze upon each morning over a cup of tea.
But what if you awoke one day to realize your tree wasn’t quite right. You hoped the problem you eyed would resolve itself, but what if it continued to worsen? That’s when it’s time to call your local arborist for a diagnosis.
Tree Rot 101When your tree begins to deteriorate, it may be a result of tree rot – more commonly referred to as heart rot disease. This is a fungal disease that affects mature trees, literally rotting your tree from the inside out as it starts in the center of the trunk.
out as it starts in the center of the trunk or branches.
In fact, unless you notice your tree is beginning to lean, this disease will remain invisible until fruiting bodied – which looks like mushrooms – appear on the outside of the tree.
While any hardwood tree is susceptible to this tree rot, if your tree is old, weak or experiencing other environmental stressors, the risk is increased.
The First Sign
In addition to unexpected tree leaning and the mushroom-like growth on the outside of the trunk, there are a few other clues to look out for. If you notice the leaves are wilting or the tree growth has slowed or stunted, these may also be signs of internal tree rot.

Where are you going? I haven’t finished!

 

[Dingo_Triplesix]

Amazing, that brothers can be so different in bed.

 

[Dingo_Triplesix]

This reminds me... have you done the taxes?

 

[AahhWhattheHell]

"While I have you here, I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."

Nice!

 

[loquere]

"Are you finished?"

 

[loquere]

"While I have you here, I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."

Lol!!

 

[Trionyx]

What are you doing in bed with my mommy?

 

[loquere]

This is a tornado alert, seek shelter immediately.

 

[loquere]

What the fuck is that?

 

[loquere]

I'd like to talk to you about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ.

 

[loquere]

I am God.

 

[loquere]

Your wife's behind you with a golf stick.

 

[RNJAG]

Your dick is a little smaller than your dads, but your cum tastes better, you’re a little bigger than all 3 of your brothers but your middle brother has incredible stamina. Your friends Billy, Johnny and Dave are really good at eating pussy. Dave is hung like a donkey but he cries like a little girl after he tittle fucks me. Your sister will never admit it but she really really really likes to sit in my face and cum ‘till she passes out.
Let’s go back to being friends with out benefits.

 

[loquere]

Eeew, I'm definitely gay.

 

[loquere]

"Attention passengers this is Captain Bob, i'm now turning on the fasten seat belt light. Please return to your seats and buckle up, we're about to make our way through some pretty severe turbulence."

 

[AahhWhattheHell]

"Oh God! Again? Already?"

 

[loquere]

Do you smell that? Oh my god I left the fuckin duck in the fuckin oven and the house is on fuckin fire.

 

[Winter_Fare]

Is that a mf drill???

 

[BiscuitHammer]

"Oh, shit, it's my virologist calling. Hang on, gotta take this..."

 

[loquere]

Is that a mf drill???

Hah..