Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[iluvitall]

Its called a Saint Andrews Cross.

Now that's funny!

 

[LaRascasse]

"Oh it's you!"

 

[TxRad]

My Mother told me you were a bum fuck but I had to find out for myself.

 

[Nick0311]

Oops...

 

[Handley_Page]

Your Ex was quite right, you know. You do know fuck-all about it.

 

[GinaeEvans]

"Where's my gum?"

 

[luvthedesserts]

That’s it baby. That’s it. Right there. God, I wish I had a pussy.

 

[luvthedesserts]

Hmm, that was overrated


Please make a minute. Please make a minute. I'm gonna make a minute. I'm gonna...damn. Sorry.

 

[Taylormargaret]

What's that horrible smell?

 

[luvthedesserts]

What's that horrible smell?

Chili cheese fries or asparagus. I can't remember. The utility company shut off the water last week. Just plug your nose and get to work.

 

[NekoParks]

Is that the basement flooding?

 

[NekoParks]

Umm. . . well maybe the numbness will pass. Did you try to walk it off?

 

[Ironiclaconic]

"Surrender, Dorothy"

 

[BuckyDuckman]

According to my doctor, the oozing is normal for the first three weeks.

 

[NekoParks]

Why are your sheets crunchy?

 

[luvthedesserts]

Oh shit. I forgot my husband was getting out of prison today.

I know I forgot to get something at the grocery store. This is going to drive me crazy until i figure it out.

 

[NekoParks]

Snoring is a real buzz kill.

 

[luvthedesserts]

Damn, I forgot to wash off the ball gag after it fell in the toilet.


Roxy, No. No Roxy. Don't swallow the key.

 

[NekoParks]

Damn. You just kicked the dog off the bed again.

 

[luvthedesserts]

You neutered the dog, right?

 

[loquere]

It's not me it's you

 

[loquere]

Tag your it

 

[loquere]

I lied

 

[loquere]

I should have stayed in prison

 

[loquere]

Eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!