Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[Handley_Page]

Was that the egg timer or the door bell?

 

[loquere]

The sounds of a newborn crying in the next room.

 

[coochiebarber]

I can't suck hairy nuts.

 

[loquere]

"You're fired!"

 

[Handley_Page]

Would you please take out your teeth before you do that?

 

[coochiebarber]

Would you please take out your teeth before you do that?

ha ha ha


You need to brush your teeth.

 

[IrisGardens]

Let me get a towel. The condom broke.

 

[BurningMonkey]

Maybe if you moved side to side I could feel it more.

 

[NaokoSmith]

Could you tweak my nipple while you do that? I want to figure out exactly how it feels so I can write it up for my next Literotica story.

 

[BurningMonkey]

I think this would work better without the truss...

 

[loquere]

"my Heart!"

 

[coochiebarber]

Don't spoil my bedsheets!

 

[JKendallDane]

"I'm sorry. 'I don't remember the safe word' is not a valid response."



.

 

[NaokoSmith]

Uh ... when I said 'fuck my pussy hard', that wasn't quite what I had in mind

 

[loquere]

"Fill me with your seed, give me a baby Mr. Stranger!"

 

[Handley_Page]

"Fill me with your seed, give me a baby Mr. Stranger!"

That happened to me, along time back in the day.
Fightened me witless.

 

[BurningMonkey]

"So do you think this discharge is from the clitoral piercing or the labial tattoo?"

 

[BrokenBarbie]

"Oh no, not again".

Especially when getting it doggy style.

 

[BurningMonkey]

"I hope you don't mind, but I invited some of the guys over."

 

[BurningMonkey]

"Oh no, not again".

Especially when getting it doggy style.

Um, I'm sorry; I don't get it...

 

[BrokenBarbie]

"It's amazing how much you remind me of my sister!"

 

[BurningMonkey]

"You're even better than your mom."

 

[coochiebarber]

My husband is actually hiding under the bed.

 

[BurningMonkey]

What do you mean, you lost the key down the grate?

 

[JKendallDane]

Your tongue is almost as long as my German Shepherd's.



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