Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[NaokoSmith]

Your tongue is almost as long as my German Shepherd's.



.

Was that your baby crying, or one of mine?

 

[JKendallDane]

"Your brother was right. His ass is tighter than your pussy. "



.

 

[BurningMonkey]

Don't mind the scabs...I'll be slicker when they're worn off.

 

[Saxon_Hart]

God damn!! Doesn't your fat ass ever eat salad?

 

[coochiebarber]

I have had herpes.....

 

[loquere]

"Dumbass, you left the window open... Great now a skunk is crawling in!"

 

[loquere]

That happened to me, along time back in the day.
Fightened me witless.

Back in the good old days this actually happened to one of my college roommates, at the time he was hooking up with this older lady. She actually got pregnant but miscarried. It fucked him up, and frightened the rest of us.

 

[Penuche]

"I'll be with you in five!"

 

[loquere]

"Do you believe in God?"

 

[BurningMonkey]

"Have you talked to Jesus today?"

 

[loquere]

"Do you mind if my pet monkey joins in?"

 

[coochiebarber]

Our neighbor was hitting on me today.

 

[loquere]

"Have you ever thought about getting plastic surgery?"

 

[Handley_Page]

"Have you ever thought about getting plastic surgery?"

Have you ever considered sueing your surgeon ?

 

[loquere]

Have you ever considered sueing your surgeon ?

"How much money do I owe you for this, is five dollars okay?"

 

[coochiebarber]

"How much money do I owe you for this, is five dollars okay?"

It's fun to be with you, but money matters too.

 

[JKendallDane]

It's fun to be with you, but money matters too.

"What do you mean $50? Your mom only charges $20."

 

[loquere]

"What's that smell?"

 

[Tigersman]

The slide on a 45 caliber automatic slamming forward.

 

[coochiebarber]

Hurry up, it's time to feed my cat.

 

[ksmith475]

woops! Sorry, wrong hole.

 

[loquere]

woops! Sorry, wrong hole.

Nice.

 

[loquere]

"That really is some ass on your sister, when your done sucking my cock can you give me her number?".... Ahhh you bit me ahhh!

 

[coochiebarber]

My husband is a cop.

 

[sybarite_1]

It's not getting hard...