Third submission, Advice appreciated

[diepunyhuman]

Hi, everyone.

I've recently uploaded the third chapter of "Paying It Off." I would appreciate your feedback, and thanks for taking the time to read it.

I'm especially interested in your thoughts on pacing, having enough variation in sentence structure to keep things interesting, and a good sex scene to scene ratio.

Thanks again!

 

[diepunyhuman]

Found a pronoun error after submitting. Dammit.

 

[AlinaX]

It's always helpful to add a link: Paying It Off Ch. 03 (Group Sex, 11.2k words, etc.).
Also, you can add a link to all your stories in your forum signature.